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A/n: Hey people! Thank you for reading and reviewing, it was very kind of you. :D Here's chapter thirteen for you because you're all just so nice. Haha. Please read and review!

Why Did Destiny Choose This?

Chapter 13

Your face will be erased from my thoughts,

There's this feeling that I absolutely hate. No, I don't hate it. I loathe it. It's the feeling of not being able to go to sleep. It's when you toss around for what seems like hours just trying to drift of into a peaceful slumber. Soon enough you get so frustrated and tired, you end up falling asleep, but the weird thing with me is, when that happens I just end up not sleeping at night or in this case I don't take a nap. I stay up and just think about what's on my mind until it's time for me to get ready for the day or go on with whatever I need to do. I get called weird for it, but oh well. I sometimes wonder, about why this happens. No to me, but why it happens in general. Why can't people go to sleep sometimes? It's not like they're not tired. Maybe it was that sometimes people just got too tired to fall asleep, or they had too much on their mind to be able to sleep. Sure, there were other things that could cause sleep deficiency, but for me those were the main causes.

My eyes flickered under my lids as I tried desperately to go to sleep. I angrily tossed my head left and right against the leather, ruffling my hair and making it bunch up into a mess. I shut my eyes tighter and tilted my eyebrows inward. There was a pestering feeling in my chest that was left in the wake of the guilt attack that I had before. I opened my eyes and looked around in desperation. Normally I wouldn't be bothered by not being able to go to sleep, but this time it did for some reason. It could be because of the fact that I had fallen asleep previously into a wonderfully peaceful slumber, but there was a slight jerking motion that the car made because there was a sudden stop. It made me fall to the side and hit my head against the car door which of course made me wake up to a pain on the side of my head. It could also be the fact that I just had too much on my mind to go back to sleep. Then, it could also be the fact that I was too tired to fall back asleep. Then there was the whole possibility that those situations combined just made one big pestering issue that prevented me from falling into a blissful trace.

"Miles, if you can't go to sleep, just stop trying for a little bit, eventually you'll fall asleep." Lily said. I let out a small sigh that was lighter than a whisper.

"Thanks Lily, I'll try it." I said quietly. She pursed her lips together that looked like something less than a smile, but still mad meaning to it as if she was saying 'You're welcome' without really saying it. I tried to keep myself entertained but I found it difficult to do so. I mean, what could you possibly do in a cab? Eventually my eyelids got too heavy, and I closed my eyes. I wasn't fully asleep though, it was like being half asleep. Like you were still in full control over what you were thinking, and yet, you were resting. I had a feeling that whenever I tried to sleep, this would be how I was feeling for a while, just because for a while there would be a lot to think about. What am I ever going to do? Should I move or not? If I did, it could impact my future. But if I didn't what would I do? I don't think I would be able to just sit here watching as the person I loved, continued to go on not knowing how I really felt. I'd live not knowing what it would be like if things were different. If things had went the way that I had wanted them to go. But now that I think of it, nothing would ever go the way I wanted. I mean, I don't mean to sound like I would never be satisfied, but it's true. I'd either end up feeling guilty, heartbroken, or confused. So what would ever get me satisfied? Nothing. So what would I do? Which path in life would I choose to follow? I'd rather be in pain myself then to cause other people's pain. So telling Oliver was out of the question, and so was being with him. So that left being heartbroken, and confused. I would choose being in discomfort myself any day than causing someone else to feel pain and befuddlement. So it was decided. I wouldn't ask Oliver about his feelings, no matter how badly the urge was. No matter how much I wonder or think about what could've happened, no matter how deep that curiosity is, I would never ask him or tell him because I would rather suffer, than to see Becca in agony.

"Miley, we're here." Lily announced. She tapped my shoulder with the tips of her fingers. I opened my eyes to see that Lily was on the edge of the seat; her hand was on the car door about to open it and step onto the driveway that led to her home. I nodded and grabbed my clutch which was resting on my lap during the car ride. I slid over the seat and got out of the car. The sun beat down on the top of my heat draining the cold feeling from my body. I let myself soak in the warmth for a minute before walking to the door. I still have to call my dad. I thought while pulling out my phone from my clutch. It read three thirty in the afternoon. It took us eight hours to get to the airport? Maybe there was traffic when we were coming back. I flipped open the top and dialed my home number. There were a few rings before someone whose voice I knew to be my dad picked up.

"Bud? Where are ya?" He asked. His Tennessee accent was heard.

"Hey daddy," I began as I started walking up the wooden deck stairs. "I'm at Lily's." I answered.

"Alright. Did you just wake up?" He asked. There was clanging in the background so I suppose that he was doing housework of some sort.

"Yeah." I answered slightly lying. I didn't really want him to know about me loosing my bag or anything else. It would only give him more reason to lecture me about how I was becoming an adult and that I needed to "be more careful of what I do." That speech had been told one too many times. So many times in fact that I could probably recite it word for word, backwards and in my sleep. The kind of sleep where I was actually sleeping that is.

"Are you going to be home for dinner Miles? 'Cause if not I won't make as much." He asked as I was walking into Lily's condo. The cold air rushed over me making my hair fall past my shoulders.

"I don't know. I might. Let me ask Lily." I said tiredly. I turned over to where she was locking up her door. "Hey Lily, are you doing anything for dinner?" I asked while holding my phone to my shoulder so my dad wouldn't have to hear the conversation.

"I don't have anything to do. Do you wanna go out or something, or do you want to go home. It's up to you." I shrugged.

"Do you want to go back to my place?" I asked. She tilted the corner of her mouth.

"Does your dad mind? Wait, do you still want to move? 'Cause if you do, you should tell him now and ask what he thinks of it. I can come with you if you want, so you won't have to explain to him yourself. That could lead to some awkward conversation. Then if he asks you why you're moving, I'll help you enforce your independence theory." Lily knew that I had never told my dad about how I felt for Oliver. It was obvious that he knew though. He was my dad after all, and they said that dad's knew everything. He tried not to show the fact that he knew, but it was the natural protection that he had being a father and all, that prevented him from actually keeping it a secret. He would try to pretend like he didn't know because he didn't want it to seem like he as always needed to know what was going on in my life, but being the over protective person he was, it was nearly impossible. Like just before I left for Oliver's wedding.

Flashback:

I was brushing my hair in the bathroom. My dad poked his head into the room. From the mirror that was on the wall, I could see that he was already in his suit and ready to head to the door. He was putting his cufflinks on his shirt impatiently as he waited for me to finish getting ready.

"Bud, you look fine, no let's go. We're gona be late." He gestured out the door. I hurried brushing my hair and put the brush down onto the countertop. Before I could walk out of the bathroom he stopped me in front of the door.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked referring to if I was going to be okay during the wedding. He knew that for me, watching Oliver and Becca get married would be torture, yet I had to be there. I nodded while fixing the necklace that I had chained around my neck. He smiled and put his hands onto my shoulders and kissed me lightly on my forehead. "Good. That's all that matters." He said while smiling.

End of Flashback

I tilted my head thinking of if it would be a good idea to tell my dad now. To tell him that I wanted to move away. The sooner the better, right? I bit on the side of my mouth and nodded.

"Plus, you might as well get it over with." I wonder how he would take it. Maybe I shouldn't tell him where I was going to, he might object to it. But then again he would be bound to find out where I was going eventually. One way or another, I was going to tell him, tonight…

"Dad?" I asked into the phone.

"Yea, I'm here." He answered.

"Can Lily come over for dinner?" I asked. My dad would always let Lily stay for dinner, ever since we were little, but it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"Sure bud, do you have any requests on what I should make?" He would always let Lily decide. She was the guest after all. I put the phone to my shoulder again. Without realizing it, I was already sitting down on Lily's goose down blanket; Lily sitting next to me flipping through the channels on her TV.

"Lily, do you want my dad to make anything in specific?" I asked. Without turning towards me she answered.

"Anything's fine, I don't want to pester your dad or anything." I nodded knowing that she wasn't able to see, and held up the phone to my ear.

"She doesn't care." I said.

"Alright bud, usual time."

"Okay, love you daddy."

"Love you bud." There was a click, signaling that he had hung up the phone. I flipped the phone down, and put it back into the little clutch. I stared blankly at the lights that flashed off of the plasma screen.

"Seven?" Lily asked referring to the time that we should be at my house.

"Yep." I said quickly. There was no way that she had forgotten what time I had dinner at my house, because she was there so often, but she found it to be rude not to ask. I sighed and fell back against the bed only to hit the back of my head on the wall. I winced in pain as the thud from the impact echoed up the wall.

"You okay?" Lily asked turning around. She had her remote in hand. I nodded while rubbing where my head had been hit and slowly sat back being careful not to hit my head again. I closed my eyes trying to let the pain go away, and soon enough, the soreness faded into nothing. With my eyes still closed, I thought. How was I going to tell him? How was I going to tell my dad, that I was going to move to the other side of the world? I pictured sitting at my dinner table with my dad and Lily. All of a sudden I would say "Hey dad! Guess what!? I'm moving to London!" No, that wouldn't work. It has to be subtle. I have to make him think that it was his idea for me to move out of the house. But then again, would he say that it was a bad idea for me to move? He never said that I shouldn't. I think he would be proud that I as moving out. Maybe he would be proud that I was growing up, that I wanted to be independent. My head filled with thoughts and soon enough I drifted off into my half sleep. Little images flashed in my head making my eyebrows furrow and my forehead show little beads of sweat. A wild slideshow of mesmerizing pictures from the past vividly went through my sight. I saw things that raised more questions to my library of worries. What if things don't go as I planned them to? What if Oliver comes looking after me? But why would he? He might. If he did feel the same way, and found out that I moved, would he come looking for me? No, because he won't know where I went, would he? I opened my eyes to see that Lily was still watching TV.

"Hey, Lils?" I started.

"Yea Miles?" She replied.

"If he ever asks where I went, would you tell him?" I asked. She turned around.

"It depends; do you want me to tell him?" She said while setting her remote on the bed making an indent on the blanket. Would I? No, I wouldn't. It would ruin the whole purpose of me leaving in the first place. I shook my head.

"No. It would be exactly what I was trying to avoid." I said with nervousness rising in my voice. Why am I nervous? I shouldn't be nervous. This is just a step. A step that says I'm moving on. Moving on from things that I lingered on for too long. Lily nodded.

"Okay. Then I won't tell him." She said loyally. I smiled.

"Thank you, so much Lily." I said gratefully. She nodded and grinned before turning back to the lit up screen. I felt like I was leaving everything I've ever known behind just because I was just trying to avoid one heartbreaking person. I felt like I would miss so many things. It's not like I won't be able to talk to Jackson, or dad, or Lily anymore. I can still call them. But they weren't the only people I would miss. I would miss Oliver. Even though it sounded like a cheesy, one dollar romance novel, it felt as though a part of me would be missing, and that I would never get that warm, safe, and secure feeling anymore. I grabbed a pillow nearby and held onto it hoping that somehow it would feel like I wasn't alone any more, but the attempt proved to be nothing compared to how it actually felt when Oliver held me in his arms. I felt a hollow in the pit of my stomach that would never be filled. Sadly enough, I was okay with it; it felt the same as always. I was okay with that empty feeling because I was so numb to it. I was so used to not having him around lately, because he was with Becca. Maybe this won't be as hard as I thought it would be. It's not like anything's changing that much. It's just that this time, I won't be around him instead of vice versa. Yea, that's it. Nothing will really change. It's just like before. Wait, then…What was the point of moving, if it was the same thing? I thought for a moment. It could save me the agony of ever having to look at him with her again. It would keep me from being locked up in my own emotional prison. Most of all, I wouldn't have to deal with him constantly asking me what was wrong, when he was the problem of it all without knowing it. I wouldn't have to go on day by day with him around as a reminder to myself that I was a failure just because I never got the chance to tell him how I truly felt towards him. Basically there would be things that changed. I would still miss him. But this time, it won't hurt as much when I want him to be with me, because I know that it wouldn't make a difference if he really was there…

A/n: So that was chapter thirteen. Please review, special thanks to those who reviewed last time, you're great! Until next time, peace...