Who am I?

Disclaimer: I don't own the show Supernatural or the characters I just like to play with Sam and Dean and then send them home again.

CHAPTER 21

'Look Dean, look what I did for you!'

'Wow Sammy that's great, it's a picture of us huh?'

'Yup there's you an' me an' daddy an' that's mommy she's an, an angel.' Six year old Sam Winchester held the prized picture up to his brother's face, pointing at each figure dramatically. 'Miss Williams says I did the bestest picture in the grade.'

'That's great Sammy, really great.' Dean said trying to hide his sadness at the way Sam drew their mother.

'Whatsa matta Deanie? Why's you sad?' Sam asked solemnly putting a small hand on his brother's cheek.

'Nuthin', nuthin' Sammy now go watch your cartoons will ya, I gotta get dinner.'

Sam blinked his eyes and stared around warily, lost in the memory he tried to find Deanie with his stare but his brother was hiding again. 'Dean?' he whispered a sob hitched in his voice. 'Make the owies go away Deanie.'

'What is happening with him?' A loud and cruel sounding voice sounded making Sam jump and squeeze his eyes shut wanting whoever it was to go away. 'Why is he not responding to his training?'

'I am at a loss Master, he was as you said empty but now ... it seems that he is reliving his childhood in his mind.'

'But he had no memories left, he was completely catatonic and brain damaged.'

The other man muttered under his breath, and surreptitiously moved away from the demon Master. 'I do not know what to tell you Master.'

'Don't yell please.' Sam cried out cringing at the anger surrounding him, 'where's Dean? Where's my brother?'

'He is on his way Sam.' the Master said as he moved closer to the bed, 'tell me Sam what do you remember?'

'You're mean, you hurt me.' Sam pouted turning his head away, keeping his eyes closed he wanted to forget the creature standing over him. 'I want Dean.'

'How old are you Sam?' the man asked grabbing both of Sam's upper arms he squeezed them viciously, 'look at me boy.'

Sam slitted his eyes open and glared up at the man, 'I want Dean.'

'How old are you?'

'How old do you think?' Sam retorted angrily.

'The way you're acting, five.' The demon shot back letting himself get into a power play with Sam.

A small triumphant smile played on Sam's mouth, 'huh you know nothing.' He mumbled falling asleep, he never realised that his broken body was now restrained on the big bed and he had no way of leaving even if he wanted to.

'Watch him carefully; I want to know if that this is real and part of his breakdown or if he is trying to fox me.'

'Yes Master.' The man acquiesced nodding his head, his small beady eyes darting from the bed back to his Master.

The demon snarled and disappeared in a waft of sulphur and other noxious fumes, 'so Sam Winchester are you just foxing the Master or are you really broken in your mind?'

Sam's eyes fluttered open at the sound of the voice and he stared at the man standing next to the bed. 'Who are you?' he asked innocently.

'I am Doctor Mac, how old are you Sam?'

'That other guy kept asking me that.'

'Well, you see you have been umm sick and we are worried that you might think that you are younger than you really are.'

'What kind of doctor are you?' Sam asked.

'Oh I am a doctor of everything I guess, I do what I have to do.'

'Oh, where's Dean?'

'Who is Dean?'

'My big brother,' Sam said with utter conviction, 'he looks after me.'

'That is nice of him isn't it?'

'Not really, Dad says he has to coz there's lots of bad men out there that want to hurt me.'

'Why would they want to hurt you Sam?'

'Coz I am special.' He confided in the man, 'but I don't like being special.'

'Why Sam? I thought it would be great being special.'

'Nope coz people always get hurt, an' it hurts me in here.' Sam tried to lift his good hand to his head, a small cry followed when he couldn't move his arm. 'What's wrong with me?'

'It's alright Sam; the Master just wanted you to be safe so he put restraints on your wrists and ankles so you wouldn't fall off the bed and hurt yourself.'

'I'm not like that I don't fall outta bed. I don't like these.' Sam cried his large green luminous eyes filling with tears he stared miserably at the doctor, 'that demon's a bad man he tied me up.'

'Calm down Sam, now if I undo the one holding your good hand will you promise to behave?'

Sam nodded silently, his gaze fixed on the doctor's face as he moved around the bed to undo the restraint. Small in stature as well as build, the doctor reminded Sam of a rat, with his pointy nose and small beady dark eyes.

'Do you mind if I sit down while we talk Sam?' Doctor Mac asked pulling up a chair closer to the bed.

'Nope I guess not.'

'So Sam what do you remember about what happened when you first came here?'

'I – I was hurt bad, an' then that bad man with yellow eyes he got mad with me and I got really, really mad with him.' Sam paused and cast a wary eye around the room, 'is he still here?' he whispered.

'Nope, the Master has gone for now he has other business to take care of.'

'Good, I got mad with him an' then my head hurt.' Sam said ending with a small whimper, 'it hurt so badly.'

'Do you remember the vision ... I mean dream that you had?'

'Uhhuh, I saw kids playing with their mommies and that bad yellow eyed man was there.' Sam said solemnly, 'why does he like to hurt people?'

'Not sure Sam, guess that's what he does.'

'That's bad.' Sam yawned, 'so tired now.'

'Sam how old do you think you are?'

'I am ... four ... no twenty-four.' Sam pushed the words out, his face creasing with a deep frown. 'Tired now.'

'Okay Sam you sleep, it'll all be better when you wake up.'

'Doc?'

'Yes Sam?'

'Where's Dean? Why isn't he here?'

'He's coming Sam, he's probably just held up.'

'Daddy where's Deanie?' Sammy sobbed his little fists clutched at his sides, his feet wide and legs straight, anger, and hurt built up into a rage inside of his small slight frame.

'Deanie is in the hospital Sammy you know that.' John replied exasperated with his six year olds constant questioning.

'Why did he get hurt? Where was you daddy?'

'Sammy we have been through this already, the ghost hurt Dean while daddy was trying to stop it, by burning and salting the bones. Dean was supposed to have stayed in the car.'

'How comes I can't see him?'

'Because you have been sick with the measles Sammy, we don't want Dean to get sicker do we?'

'No guess not.'

'So?'

'I knows daddy, I'll be good.' Sammy sighed, 'give Deanie a big hug for me.'

'Yeah I will.'

'Daddy, is mommy looking after Dean?'

'Mommy is in heaven Sammy.'

'Yeah I knows that, but she's a angel an' I knows she's looking afta Deanie.'

Dean stared dispassionately at the body lying at his feet, or what remained of the body, swaying slightly he pulled out the salt and a small flask of lighter fluid and dumped it on the body before the demon has a chance to escape.

Limping towards the house, Dean shrugged slightly and pulled his jacket tighter around himself as a light rain started to fall, 'great, just freaking great.' He muttered as he headed around the house to the waiting impala out the front. His baby was always reliable even if the weather wasn't.

It took a minute for him to register that his cell phone was ringing, the small screen lighting up the name of Caleb. 'Hey man what's up?' he mumbled sinking wearily into the driver's seat.

'Bobby's coming home, signing himself out of the hospital; he wants you to wait for us he knows where the demon is most likely to be.'

'Already know dude.'

'Dean, listen to me, you're hurt and Sam's hurt wait for us ... please.'

'Aint gonna work Cal, you don't have Sammy's puppy look.'

'Dean we're going to be there soon, I'm pulling out of the hospital car park as we speak.'

'Dude, I can't ... Sammy's hurt an' my fault.'

'Dean you're not making any sense dude.'

'So cold Caleb, so fucking cold.'

'Dean where are you?'

'Impala.'

'Can you get back to Bobby's house?'

'Cal? Gotta ... cold ... Sammy.'

'Dean? Dean?'

Caleb screeched to a halt just outside Bobby's house, leaving the grumbling injured older man in the car he pushed the door open and bolted straight to the impala still parked nearby. 'Dean!' Caleb called out, his heart pounding against his chest in fear of what he might find. 'Dean? Fuck it Dean what's going on man?' Caleb asked when he found Dean slumped over the steering wheel. Tenderly he eased the young man back to rest on the seat so he could assess any new injuries. 'Fuck me.' he breathed when he saw the blood pouring freely from the bullet wound, the stitching he so carefully did before now non-existent, new bruises littered the right side of Dean's face and he had dried blood flaking on his upper lip from a nosebleed. 'Damn it Dean, why didn't you wait for me.'

'Shoulda seen tha otha guy.' Dean mumbled incoherently, 'hey Cal whatcha doin?'

'Getting your sorry ass inside.' Caleb muttered, 'can you walk?'

'Hey Cal ... I smoked the bastard, burnt and smoked him.' Dean said proudly waving his bruised and cut hands in air. 'Lousy fucking bastard doing that to my Sammy.'

'Okay Dean, here we go up and at em.' Caleb eased his arm around Dean and helped him to stand up.

'Ah fuck it hurts.' Dean moaned the movement pulling on his gunshot wound.

'Yeah well so does life then we die, so whatcha gonna do bout it?' Caleb muttered as he helped Dean inside and settled him on the sofa before hurrying back to help Bobby with his awkward crutches.

'Damn two invalids now,' Caleb growled growing increasingly agitated with each second.

'Don't cuss at me boy.' Bobby snarled, 'I can hold my own.'

'Dean's gone into shock, and he's lost a helluva lot of blood.'

'Should be in hospital.'

'Yeah well you can tell him that, I aint, not while Sammy is still missing.'

They found Dean hunched over a bucket, throwing up violently, one hand weakly clutched to his wounded side. 'ahh this is crap.'

'Nope not really, wrong end.' Caleb couldn't help himself taking small advantage of Dean's vulnerability.'When
you're finished reacquainting yourself with your last meal I'll restitch that wound of yours.'

Dean moaned a intelligible response and dropped back on his haunches, his face now tinged with green, his eyes bloodshot and watery. 'Gotta go find Sammy.'

'Sit down.' Caleb ordered gently pushing on Dean's shoulder until the young hunter was leaning up against the sofa. 'Okay this is gonna sting.'

'No fucking kidding.' Dean yelped while Caleb washed down his side, with a mix of antiseptic and warm water, the contents of the basin soon turning a pink colour.

'Man you can bleed.' Caleb observed, 'Vamps must love you.'

'Ha, freaking ha.'

After cleaning the wound and surrounding area, Caleb took up the sterilised needle, thread, and expertly closed the gaping hole with neat little stitches. 'All done.'

'Thanks man.' Dean mumbled sleepily, 'mean it dude.'

'Hey Dean no sleeping on my watch.' Caleb tapped Dean's face, 'that's it open those bedroom eyes.'

'Aw Cal never thought you cared.' Dean said as he felt his eyes get heavier, 'let me sleep.'

'Nope no can do, come on Dude, think of Sammy ... we have to help Sammy.' Caleb knew it was a low blow to bring Sam into it but he had to make sure that Dean stayed awake and coherent for a while anyway. 'I'll make some coffee, extra sweet.'

'Dean you with me son?' Bobby asked as Caleb went to make the first round of what will end up being many rounds of coffee for the night.

'Yeah, Bobby ah how you doing?'

'Better than you by the look of it.'

'So sorry bout all of this Bobby.' Dean said wincing as he shifted position slightly.

'There's Tylenol as well.' Caleb said pushing a mug of coffee into Dean's hand and the tablets into the other. 'Take em.'

'Yes Mom.'

'Hey Sam you with me now?' Doctor Mac shook Sam's shoulder slightly, the young man writhed in the bed, twisting the sheets around his shattered body, sweat glistened on all of his exposed skin, and his cheeks had bright red smudges on them. As he writhed, another groan escaped from Sam, the nightmare refusing to let go of his mind just yet. 'Dean!' the primordial scream startled the doctor as Sam started to fight the restraints, his screams now just collections of sounds, incoherent and filled with anger and pain.

'Sam wake up.' He shook him a little harder now, relieved when he saw the green of Sam's eyes through the slits. 'That's it Sam wake up.'

'Dean?' Sam blinked and stared at the doctor, confused he tried to work out who the man was. 'Doctor Mac?'

'Yes Sam, you were having a nightmare.'

'Where's Dean?'

'I honestly don't know Sam.'

'Leave me alone.' Sam demanded, feeling irrational and angry, 'leave me the fuck alone.'

'I can't Sam I'm sorry but I have been ordered to stay with you.'

'Yeah well then you're a fool then aren't you?' Sam spat out venomously, 'what else do you do for your precious Master?'

'What was your nightmare about Sam?'

'My whole freaking fucked up life.' Sam laughed bitterly.

'Want to talk about it?'

'No I don't want to talk about it.' Sam said rolling his head away from the doctor's touch. 'What's the use of talking? No one listens to me anyway.'

'I will I promise.'

'No! No promises, no more promises! No one keeps their promises to me.' Sam cried out.

'No more promises then Sam.'

'Why are you being nice to me? Your so-called Master won't be happy.'

'I am here to look after you Sam that's all.' The Doctor explained calmly, intrigued in the young man's sudden temper and irrational behaviour. 'Do you feel like talking now?'

'Do you feel like untying me?'

'I can't I'm sorry Sam.'

'Well then I can't talk either, sorry Doc.'

'Can't or won't Samuel?' the yellow-eyed demon asked as he appeared standing at the end of Sam's bed.

Sam glared at him silently as though to prove his last comment. 'So we have gone from child to surly brat have we?' the demon commented more to the doctor than to Sam. 'If there is no improvement in twenty four hours then you will implement the other training.'

'What the freaking hell do you mean by that?' Sam demanded, unable to stop himself, but the demon ignored him choosing instead to continue talking to his lackey.

'Start with two injections a day to make sure that he is pliable and then use the sweep.'

'Yessir.' Doctor Mac said unable to meet Sam's enquiring gaze.

'It is a shame that you are not co-operating Samuel, it would have saved you a lot of pain.'

'Ah in case you haven't noticed, I am in pain already, injuries here!' Sam snarled his voice dripping with sarcasm, 'oh that's right you don't care what happens to me as long as you have control of my special gifts.'

'Samuel.'

'Don't Samuel me, if you think that you can force me to have visions for you think again, they've gone, all of it, just a big nothing, zero, a black hole, it's all gone. you fucking ripped me apart and expect me to be able to perform for you? I have nothing left in me, nothing special, no visions nothing, it's all gone.' Sam dropped his head back on the pillows and turned his head away, 'it's all gone.' he repeated in a whisper.

'Doctor?'

'I have no idea Sir; it could explain his catatonia, his regression, and extreme anger if he no longer has the abilities if they have been burnt out so to speak then ...'

'He could be worthless to me?' the Demon screeched, his anger radiating out heating the room and filling it with a choking sulphurous smoke.

Sam laid back and stared at the ceiling, an uncontrollable urge to giggle filled him, winding its way through him, until the laughter exploded from his mouth. Tears ran freely down his face as he realised that he had finally lost it.

'Shut him up!'

'I-I can't Master, not without sedation.'

'Then what the hell are you waiting for?'

Doctor Mac, shook his head and muttering to himself, went to prepare the small injection for Sam, as he waited the demon watched Sam carefully, still not sure if Sam was foxing all along or if he had really had a breakdown and lost his gifts in the process.

The small built doctor came shuffling back and hesitantly pressed the needle into Sam's bicep. The sedative working its way quickly through is system, and Sam slowly stopped laughing, the last remaining giggles coming out more like hiccups as his eyes fluttered shut and unconsciousness finally took hold.

'If he has lost his powers Doctor, then we use him as bait for his brother and then ... sacrifice the pair of them to Father, of course that is after you cut him up and find out exactly what went wrong. I am going to check on my latest acquisition.'

'Sir?'

'I have a new family, young Susie who shows great potential as a warrior and her unborn sister, who already has the aura, I have the family here as my ... guests.'

TBC