What Love Is
Chapter Five: Trust
Eyewitness: Martin Fitzgerald
I can't stop crying, and judging by the warm liquid constantly dropping into my hair, Danny can't either.
Why did I bring him into this? He has enough going on in his life. Why couldn't I be strong enough to handle my own problems?
"I'm sorry, Danny. I shouldn't have dumped this on you."
Danny moves back until we are looking face to face. His expression holds confusion. "That's…what I'm here for," he says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"No, you shouldn't have to handle this."
He doesn't miss a beat, "Neither should you."
I have no response, so he continues, "No one should have to go through this, especially not alone. We are going to handle this together."
Could he really mean it? Could he stay with me, even after knowing? "Really?" I sound so weak…
"God, yes , Martin. I'm not leaving you."
"Why?" I can really push my luck.
"Because that's what commitment is."
Commitment? We're committed to each other? That sounds nice. "But…I'm going to be so much work…"
"You always have been," he's smiling.
It takes a second for me to recognize that as a joke, and now we're laughing, and it feels good.
I try to make my point again, "But-"
"No more 'buts'. Come here." He pulls me close again. We fit together nicely.
We lay in silence for a few minutes, and I soak in the comforting warmth.
I try to force all scraps of misplaced fear deep inside me, but I can't suppress a shiver.
"Martin?" his tone has darkened slightly. He caught it…
"Hmm?"
"I'm going to need to know what's okay and what's off limits."
"Meaning?"
"Tell me what happened?"
"Danny…"
"When you're ready."
I think about it, "No, you're right: I need to get this off of my chest."
He squeezes a little tighter in a comforting hug.
I nuzzle into his shoulder and take a deep, calming breath, "Where do I start?"
"I suppose saying 'from the beginning' would just be facetious. Where were you?"
"My apartment."
Danny falls silent for a moment, then hugs me tighter again, "You know you can stay here as long as you like, right?"
"Thanks."
"Okay, next question: Do you know who your attacker was?"
"That cop."
"Wait, the one you went to help?"
I nod against him.
He stiffens, "Fucking asshole."
I nod again.
"How are you holding up? You've gone quiet on me."
"I'm fine," maybe I'll convince myself…
"Okay, Baby. So, this happened yesterday?"
"Yeah, sometime in the early evening."
"And he went over there?"
"Yeah, he invited himself in. He was angry. He said," I laugh, "He said he was in love with me, and I just didn't understand, that I couldn't understand, because I don't know what love is."
Danny doesn't interrupt. He's using his skills as an interrogator and letting me take over. I can't help but smile, despite the words I'm about to say, "He dragged me into my bedroom, saying he'd show me what love is. I tried to stop him, but I…couldn't. I even tried talking with him, and that's when I got the bruise," despite my best efforts, the tears begin pouring down my cheeks again. "It hurt so much…The whole time, he kept saying 'This is what love is.' Then, he finished and just left. I'd never felt so used ." Well, I don't feel a whole lot better, but at least it's all out in the open now.
"Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry he hurt you. I'm sorry he messed with 'love.' You know that wasn't love, right?"
"Of course it wasn't…It's just…" I've never known love. Sure, I've loved my family members, but I've never been in love. I wasn't stupid enough to believe that what Steve was doing was love, but it made me realize how little I do know about love.
Danny's looking into my face again, and by his expression, I can tell he knows what's on my mind.
He leans forward and touches his lips to mine. He stops in that position, probably waiting for me to freak out. I don't, so he continues. The kiss is short but meaningful. He brings his hand up to cup my face, "Martin, you know you're loved, right?"
I stare back, not wanting to ruin the moment by talking. I'm going to be really annoyed if he is referring to my family.
Danny kisses me again, "I love you. Can I say that?"
"You love me?" I know I sound like a kid who just met Santa, but I don't care.
Danny smiles, "Of course I love you."
He presses a kiss to my forehead, "You're smart."
He kisses my cheek, "You're funny."
He kisses the patch of skin between my eyebrows, "You do everything for others without expecting anything in return."
He kisses the skin next to my eye, "You're selfless, smiling even when you're sad so others won't worry."
He kisses the corner of my mouth, "You blush when you're complimented."
"And you are absolutely gorgeous," he places his lips over mine, and my mouth opens instantly. Danny conveys everything with his kiss, all his caring and protection and love.
Without breaking the kiss, Danny brings his other hand to my face, and my own hand follows. It's at this that I realize he's still holding onto it. Ever since I told him what happened to me, he hasn't let go of me.
Realization dawns, albeit a bit slowly, like a soft warmth spreading within me.
Danny loves me.
Danny loves me.
And…
"I love you, too, Danny." I say it against his lips mid-kiss, but the look in his eyes tells me he understood.
He plants a kiss on my knuckles. I decide this is as good a way to break contact as any, so I release his fingers. He smiles, then wraps both of his arms around me, something he hasn't been able to do yet, and holds me against his chest.
Pressing a warm kiss to my hair, he whispers, "This is love, Martin."
This is love.
Author's Note: Well, that's "What Love Is." Some of you may be thinking, But there's so many loose ends! Where does their relationship go from here? What happens with evil Steve? How are their lives going to change??? Will they ever leave the bed? Well, those are some very good points, hypothetical reader. I'm thinking about writing a sequel to answer all of those questions, and more. Tell me your thoughts!