Don't own the characters Stephenie Meyer does!

Edwards POV

When the bell finally rang for lunch I ran as fast as I could without, raising suspicion, to my car. I needed to talk to Bella. I knew I had hurt her last night. I wanted to kill myself for what I had said to her. I was out of line. I just needed to talk to her, tell her I was so sorry, and that I would never treat her like that again. I wasn't even mad at her! I was disgusted and angry with myself. Why did I have to be so weak? I would never be able to give Bella the physical relationship she deserved. I was such a selfish creature! Could I not do anything right by her? As soon as I got to my car I dialed her number yearning for the sound of her voice. The phone rang five times and I was just about to hang up and drive over to her house when I heard a very faint voice on the line.

"Hello" Bella's voice was tired and weak.

"Bella. It's Edward are you ok? How are you feeling?" My voice was filled with concern, and I longed to be with her.

"I'm fine. Just tired."

"Do you need anything? I can come over right…" I was interrupted before I could finish my sentence.

"I'm fine. Please stay at school. I just want to sleep, and be alone right now. You can call later tonight and check on me again if you want to. I need to be alone right now"

I was stunned by her reply. She didn't want to see me. I always came over after school; at the very least I was there at night while she slept. I felt a wave of hurt, and confusion go through me. Was I not welcome at her house? Had I hurt her that much that she couldn't be around me?

"Are you sure?" I tried to hide the hurt I felt but my voice sounded sad even to me.

There was a short hesitation before she answered, "Yes" with sorrow in her voice.

I paused briefly wounded by her reply and slowly said, "Bella I…" and then phone went dead.

I sat in my car for a long time staring at the phone in my hand. I felt like I was suffocating. My breathing was coming in short gasps. Of course I didn't need to breath but I couldn't seem to stop. My head was swimming and I wondered if vampires could get migraines. Wave upon wave of hurt and disgust washed over me as I sat in my car. I loathed myself for what I had done. I hurt my angel and there was nothing I could do about it. I swore to always protect her and keep her safe, but who was there to protect her form me? I wanted to see her to beg for her forgiveness, but she didn't want me there. She didn't want to see me.

I played our conversation over and over again in my head. She sounded fragile and so sad. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and take her pain away, the pain I had caused. I had no one to blame but myself. How could I be so heartless? I knew from last night that she was upset. She didn't sleep anywhere near me, and that had hurt, but I thought I would have time in the morning to set things right. My mind was swarming with images from this morning trying to make sense of everything. She never once looked at me this morning. Twice I had told her I loved her and she had acted as if nothing had been said. Was she really sick, or was she just trying to avoid me? My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a soft knock on the passenger side window. I looked up to see Alice waiting to be let in. I unlocked the door and started the car. I could feel her eyes on me but I didn't turn to face her.

"Where's Bella? Where were you for lunch today?"

"Bella is sick. I came out here to call her to see how she was doing. She's fine, just tired." I said flatly.

"Oh." That explains what I saw.

I whipped my head around as I heard her thoughts, "What did you see Alice?"

"Well, I saw Bella in bed, she seemed really upset about something, but she was probably just sick." I hung my head and took a deep breath. Bella was upset all right and I was the cause. I felt sick as I watched Alice's vision of Bella in her room flash in my head. I gripped the steering wheel tighter willing Alice to think about something else.

"Have you seen her?"

"No."

"Well I think I will take over some flowers and see how she is doing."

Maybe this was a good thing. Bella could talk to Alice and then I could talk to her and find out how I could fix things.

"Yeah, why don't you. I'm sure Bella will be happy to see you."

I reached our house just then. As soon as I parked my car I raced to my room and shut the door. Alice left right after me to go see Bella. I wanted to be alone to wallow in my misery. Damit, what have I done!?! I slowly made my way to my couch and sat down with my head in my hands. I sat there for a few minutes before I heard a knock on my door.

"What?" I was not in the mood for company. I was surprised by who I say opening the door it was Alice. She was supposed to be at Bella's. What was she doing back so soon? I instantly became fearful and nervous. I froze on the couch waiting.

"Edward, Bella won't see me. She is refusing all company. What's going on?" I could hear the curiosity in her voice and saw genuine concern on her face.

I sighed, "I screwed up Alice. I screwed up big time."

Alice slowly walked over to me with love and sympathy in her eyes. She sat down next to me putting her arm around me.

"She'll forgive you. She loves you. Don't worry."

"I don't know Alice, I don't know." I whispered as I shook my head slowly from side to side.

Alice left my room then, leaving me alone with my thoughts. If Bella was sick I had to make sure she was okay. If she wasn't up to company than I would have Carlisle stop in to check on her. I and to make sure she didn't need anything. I quickly pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Carlisle's number.

"Edward, what can I do for you?"

"Carlisle, Bella is sick and I need you to stop by and check on her."

"What's wrong with her, what are her symptoms?" He murmured sounding concerned.

"That's just it. I'm not sure. She won't see me…or anyone…it's a long story, and I don't want to get into it. All I know is that she is really tired and stayed how from school today. She sounded really weak on the phone when I called. I'm worried about her and I just wondered if you would check on her."

"Of course Edward. I will stop by this evening. Don't worry. I'm sure she's fine."

I hung up satisfied that she would be receiving medical attention if needed. I toyed the rest of the afternoon with the idea of calling her again. But I knew I was the last person she wanted to hear from right now and decided to wait to hear from Carlisle first.

It was a very long afternoon.