A/N: Long time no see, eh eh? The story is veeeeery close to the end, you guys! Just want to let you know that the next update might not be for a while because I'm taking part in NanoWriMo in November (if you don't know what it is, basically it's a challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in a month) and I'm going to try an original fiction for a change, so wish me good luck! I'll try and write some fanfiction then if I can.

Also, it was recently my birthday so a review from you would be a great birthday present, HINT HINT.

Thanks to my beta Anna as always. Onward!

Chapter 19

James contemplated whether he should go after Sirius, but his bottom was enjoying the warmth of the fireplace, Sirius was quite the fast walker when he wanted to be, and Lily was suddenly hugging him from behind and he wondered whether he could manufacture life-size Lily-like cuddly bears you hugged when you were lonely and kept in your bedroom and took up practically the entire floor space with their gigantic size.

I should have punched him, he thought. I should have punched Sirius and then he wouldn't have gone, or he would have gone with a bloody nose and it would have left a bloody trail on the castle floor and Mrs Norris would have found him in seconds. I swear that cat ingests blood instead of milk.

"He's right, you know," he heard Lily murmur. He stubbornly continued to glare at the portrait hole Sirius had bravely climbed through minutes earlier. Remus and Peter had disappeared to their dormitory for slumber.

"You're not his mother, James."

His angered temperament relaxed gradually as she nestled against him. "Then why do I feel like it half the time?" he asked with a drained sigh.

"Because you're a plonker that cares too much," she stated the obvious. "He's already got one terrible mother, don't be his second."

James whipped round indignantly at that remark. "I am not a terrible mother!" He repeated that sentence in his head. "I mean, I'm not a mother—I mean, I'm not a woman."

"It took you an inordinate amount of time to come to that conclusion," Lily commented with a smirk and James countered it with one of his own.

"Honestly, it's like you want me to admit I am of womanly tendencies and leave you for a man called Pierre," he teased. "And we all know you're just using me because you find the idea of your offspring sporting glasses very appealing."

Lily shrugged in amusement. "What can I say? Glasses frame the face and add a look of acumen," she unintentionally complimented him.

The sound of the portrait door creeping open as someone entered made them plunge into silence: Sirius was back already, uncomfortable to find the two still in the common room and obviously hoping to catch a quick getaway to his dormitory. A cautious Lily let go of James' waist as he stepped forward to address his fellow Marauder.

"That was quick," James remarked.

"Er… yeah..." Sirius' gaze shifted uneasily when he answered, "I didn't go see her."

James' look of displeasure formed into a surprised smile. "You changed your mind!" he said with delight. He was about to step forward to congratulate his friend with a pat on the back for realizing his earlier mistake, when Sirius butted in.

"No." James quickly returned to looking blatantly annoyed, praying he'd heard wrong. "I realized that I don't have the password to Ravenclaw Tower, so obviously I can't see her. Maybe I'll try and bump into her tomorrow." He shrugged, and James looked down at his feet, disappointment evident across his face as he scuffed his shoe against the floor to keep it preoccupied before it booted Sirius unexpectedly in the face.

"Maybe you won't," James offered. It was as though he was holding a staring contest with Sirius as he watched him intensely.

James won.

"Maybe I won't," Sirius agreed with a nod. He mumbled a goodnight and headed for the staircase.

"I told Moony you went to the kitchens," James mentioned.

"Oh." Sirius paused on the stairs and shot James a grateful look. "Thanks, mate."

Once Sirius headed up the stairs again and was out of sight, the room descended into silence again. Catching James' eye, Lily raised her brow at him.

"What?" he demanded.

She shook her head in response to his act of ignorance. "Please don't start anything with him."

"He's the one starting something," he pointed after the stairs. "I cannot believe he would even consider going to see her after what she did to Remus."

"Her father just died, James."

"I know," he said reluctantly, "but she's not a good person…"

"There's good in everyone."

James couldn't resist a smile at her, but at the same time felt incredibly frustrated. "Lily, you know I love you for your kindness and ability to see good in everybody-" Lily could feel a 'but' and unsurprisingly received one "-but sometimes you're, well, wrong."

He thought of Severus Snape for example, but didn't want to voice his name and cause another argument. He thought Lily was wrong about Snape, despite all her efforts in saying he was just misunderstood. There wasn't any good in him, in his opinion.

"I know you're referring to Snape, James." He jumped out of his skin and looked at Lily with wide eyes. This had been classified a moment where she knew him too well, which excited him a bit, the prospect of Lily Evans being so close to James Potter years ago an absurd joke. "But I don't want to talk about him." She seized his arm while yawning. "I just want to get some sleep, yeah?"

James observed her for a second. "Can I make a bear out of you?"

A frown slowly crept upon Lily's face. "Is 'bear' another word for 'fool'?"

"No, I mean an actual bear. Life-size, bow on the head, when you're lonely gives you Lily Hugs – I like to call them: Lugs." She waited for him to carry on. "Make many, sell millions."

She was used to his mad ideas by now. "As long as these bears don't have breasts, then sure. You manufacture those breastless bears with bows on their heads in that worrying little mind of yours." She rustled his hair and he swooped down to kiss her as, what Lily presumed, was a means of a thank you for giving him permission.

James led her back to the Head Tower under his Invisibility Cloak; something of James' Lily was quickly warming to. The material occasionally tickled her legs…or was it another of James' dirty tricks she was unaware of?

"Sleep in my room tonight?" he asked as she lingered by her door. "No mangoes, I promise," he mentioned swiftly.

Lily could tell he was still thinking about the events of the Dark Mark that night from the tight hold of her hand in his. Although James wore glasses, to some extent a mask his orbs could conceal behind, his eyes always conveyed a lot of emotion. His eyes could tell stories without him having to say a word, and this story said: don't leave my side.

Silently she nodded in response and entered her dorm to change into her pyjamas. Quickly finding them in the assigned drawer (she'd formerly tried to organize James' clothes in order of category allocated to each drawer, but she'd given up upon discovering males simply had no passion for folding clothes), she took off her robe and saw the pocket bulging slightly.

After prodding the bulge with her wand for a short while, she picked out a piece of parchment.

Not from the Half Blood Prince, Lily pleaded desperately in her mind. I can't take another letter, not after tonight…

With her hands trembling a little, she reluctantly read the note.

'James won't always be there to protect you.'

Her hands shook harder. As she stared at the words, the letters on the note seemed to jump out from the parchment and circle her head, closing in and suffocating her. Shaking her head back to reality, she folded the note back up neatly and opened the drawer beside her bed to deposit it with the others.

It overflowed the second she opened it, so much that some notes fell to the floor and she had to gather them up in her hands and stuff them back in. She pushed the pile further down into the drawer and slammed it shut before any more pieces escaped.

She needed to get rid of them soon. It was too risky keeping them there, especially with James sleeping across the hallway. She'd do something with the notes tomorrow.

Honestly, she would.

---------------

"Anyway," Sirius attempted to change the subject at breakfast; he'd decided the topic of why eating cauliflower was normal, but when you consumed a dandelion flower you were classified mentally unstable, was ultimately discussed enough.

"Now that you're back, Moony-" Sirius hooked an arm around Remus' shoulder, and Remus pulled a smile as he ate his toast, "-you should feel threatened."

Immediately, Remus coughed on his toast and had to seize a glass of water. "Why?" he asked suspiciously. "What have you done?"

Sirius turned sour for a moment. "Nothing! Merlin, you're jumpy."

Remus tried to think of a reasonable excuse for his agitated manner. "…I'm going to cut to the chase here: when I wasn't hanging around with you, Sirius, I felt predominately safer."

James let out a snort of amusement. He liked this atmosphere, the four Marauders back together, verbally victimizing each other in the nicest way possible. It seemed as though Sirius was going to stick to his word too, not bringing up Georgina once that morning or making any attempt to find her (she wasn't in the Great hall, but that was understandable –death of loved ones made you lose your appetite). Remus seemed to have forgotten about Georgina momentarily too, or he was putting up an impressive act.

None of the boys seemed to want to bring up the events of the Dark Mark last night either, or anyone in the castle, everyone masked with fake composure for a lazy Sunday. James liked it best that way: talking about it didn't solve anything. Actions are were louder than words, he believed, and the second he left Hogwarts he'd take action, train to fight the bad side, the side that represented egotism, greed and hopelessness. James and an army –an entire army, an army led by Dumbledore- would fight Voldemort, and the Marauders would be alongside him.

"I'm just saying," Remus managed to speak in between chuckles as he ate his breakfast, "if I had to choose between sitting in the mouth of a lion, and spending an afternoon with you, Sirius, let's just say I'd find placing my bottom in a lion's mouth very appealing."

"Why, is that your fetish?" Sirius snorted. He and James began to grin at Remus' look of horror. "Bottom action with a lion—"

"No!" Remus turned to Peter for help. "Wormtail, help me out here. On a scale of one to ten, one being safe and ten being perilous, what would you grade Sirius?"

Peter thoroughly disliked being put on the spot, especially when Sirius was staring at him with folded arms. "Think wisely, Peter," he warned him.

"Er….one hundred!" he blurted out.

"One to ten, Peter, one to ten," Remus prompted.

"Sorry, I panicked," Peter cringed. He looked at Sirius as though he were measuring his inner hazard. "Perhaps a…seven?"

Sirius slammed his fists on the table. "SEVEN! I am MILD PERIL to you? Minus your next fifteen presents from me, Pettigrew!"

"That isn't upsetting news to me," Peter replied indifferently. "I'd prefer it if I didn't receive women's lingerie as a present for the fourth year running."

"Mate, if you don't specify a present, that's what you get."

"I do specify presents, Sirius!" Peter protested. "I ask every year for a new set of robes!"

"Yet Padfoot seems to find that what you wear underneath is more important," James added. Sirius pointed a finger of warning at him.

"Pete," Sirius patted his friend's shoulder in sympathy. "I honestly didn't know it bothered you so much. Next year I'll get you a set of robes, I promise."

"Thank you, Sirius!" Peter looked delighted at such news. He happily lapped up the rest of his meal.

'WOMEN'S LINGERIE,' Sirius mouthed directly afterwards to Remus, while the werewolf shook his head in the direction of his food, hoping it would take pity on him having such company.

"Anyway," James continued on the topic of Sirius being a menace to society. "I don't really see you as a peril, Padfoot, more like a…risk to others. You're like going out on an overwhelmingly hot day with no suntan lotion—yes, you're exactly like that."

"I hate to interrupt your little monologue here," Sirius interrupted with a bold yawn, "but someone behind you seems to want a word with you." He pointed over James' shoulder.

James pulled a face. "Oh har har, I won't fall for that trick again." He adopted a girly voice, "Ooo, pretend someone's behind Prongs to make him turn around and see no one's there and won't it be boringly comical!" He picked up his bowl. "I bet you when I throw my bowl of cornflakes behind me the milk and cornflakes will hit nothing but the floor because no one is there!"

Remus sat up in his seat and shook his head vigorously. "James, I really don't recommend that—"

A splash broke through the air as James tossed the bowl of cornflakes over one shoulder. A high-pitched scream immediately followed and the boys squirmed uncontrollably. So Sirius hadn't planned to trick him after all, a million to one prospect. James prayed it wasn't Lily's face he'd flung his sadly wet breakfast at…

And, thankfully, it wasn't! However, the girl was a close friend of Lily's, which only equalled trouble. Sirius thought it would be appropriate to announce, "told you, stag boy," as loud as possible, along with sticking his tongue out at James, which quickly secured him a reprimanding look from Remus.

"So, so so so so so sorry," James apologized to the girl. He was particularly magnetized by the cornflake stuck to her nose. Cringing, he summoned a towel and handed it to her so she could wipe her face.

"YOUR FACE," Sirius leant forward to state clearly, "IS GOING TO SMELL LIKE MILK NOW—"

"Shut up," Remus hissed at him.

Nicole sniffed the cornflake out of her nose. "I never thought there was a greeting of hello which involved milk and cornflakes," she remarked gruffly.

"Again," he pointed at his chest, "very sorry. Anyway, hello." He tried to remember her name and frowned.

"You forgot my name," she guessed at once.

"No!" He used too much emphasis to seem natural. "Course not…! It begins with a K, doesn't it?"

"No." She glared at him. "You saved me from the locked bathroom last night," she tried to prompt him to remember.

"Ooooh!" James again used too much emphasis. "Well, now I remember…! Seriously, is it anywhere near the letter D?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Look, never mind, I just wanted to thank you again for that. You didn't have to save me—"

"Oh, trust me, I did," James butted in. "If I hadn't, Lily would have kicked me in the balls."

"Lovely relationship you've got going on there," Nicole remarked dryly. "I also wanted to talk to you about—"

"LOUISE!" James cut her off and pointed at her. "YOUR NAME IS LOUISE!"

"It's Nicole," Peter whispered in his ear. James looked as him to say how on earth did you know that but merely cursed he was one letter off. He was normally good at guessing games. Come to think of it, he normally had a good memory. Perhaps he'd slammed his head too many times at the table to be considered healthy…

"Anyway, James, I wanted to talk about," Nicole's voice lowered ever so slightly, "you know who."

James frowned, "Voldypoo?"

"Oh for God's sake, I hate how that guy has that vague title. I'm talking about Lily, you buffoon!"

"Oh," James said in understanding, and almost suddenly frowned, turning concerned. "Oh. Lily. What's going on? Anything serious?"

Nicole seemed reluctant to answer. "Potentially," she replied sadly. James rose from his seat, indisputably vexed. "We can't discuss it here, though," she attempted to calm him down as she threw him a pointed look. "Somewhere more private." She tilted her towards the exit of the Great Hall.

"What about Lily?" James looked down the Gryffindor table and spotted her peeking at him and Nicole with curiosity. "Won't she be a bit suspicious?"

"Don't worry." Nicole plastered on a fake grin. Turning to the direction of Lily, she began to wave at her friend. "Wave, James," she ordered him, and he did on command. "She thinks we're off to discuss what you're getting her for Christmas."

"But Christmas isn't for ages," James gritted through his teeth as he continued to beam. His mouth and hand were beginning to hurt.

"She's gullible after you fatten her up with a full English breakfast," Nicole divulged. She glanced at James and discovered his scary grin. "Will you please try to look normal?"

"I LOVE YOU LILY AND I WOULD NEVER EVER TALK ABOUT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK!"

Nicole slapped her head and elbowed James painfully in the ribs to stop shouting over to Lily. It seemed as though Lily was heavily embarrassed as she flushed a bold red and pretended not to know him, completely entranced in reading the Daily Prophet.

"Does she do that a lot?"

"Do what a lot?" James asked.

"Pretend she doesn't know you," Nicole continued.

"Harhar," Sirius interjected, "only seven times a day—"

"No, she does not," James glared.

Nicole gestured for them to leave and James mumbled a brief "see you later" to the Marauders as he speedily followed after her, his expression staid yet eager to know what's going on.

"This does not bode well," Sirius commented as he stared thoughtfully after them.

"Don't jinx it, Sirius," Remus rebuked him. Predictably, Sirius had only voiced his own thoughts. He wondered if Lily was still having a problem with that secret admirer of hers that had sent her love letters. She'd told him a while back the 'Prince' had stopped his correspondence with her, but Remus remained sceptical. He wondered if Lily's friend Nicole knew anything. He still felt considerably guilty for not telling James about it, but it was one of his annoying traits, holding back from voicing certain things, and he prayed either Lily would own up or the love letter problem simply wasn't a problem anymore.

"Peter, you seem quiet," Sirius noticed, observing his friend. "What's up?"

Peter sighed as his shoulders drooped with Wormtail Woe. "Remus is back."

The werewolf didn't even flinch. "Charming," he remarked.

"No, I didn't mean it like that!" Peter said, cringing. "I meant, well, I can't pretend to be you anymore."

"Yes, I heard about that," Remus said, glancing at Sirius as he recalled him telling about Peter's sudden rush of Moony-ness in his absence. "And I want my dictionary, thesaurus and sweater-vest returned immediately."

An even more dramatic sigh escaped Peter's lips. It would be hard for him to let those entities go. Just as Sirius was about to bring up any arbitrarily cheerier subjects or tempt Peter to the jovial side with a piece of cheese, a group of Gryffindors sitting at one side of the Marauders spoke in a volume too loud to ignore.

"Did you hear about that girl's father who was murdered by Death Eaters last night?"

"I know! It's that seventh year girl from Ravenclaw, isn't it?"

Instantly, Remus and Sirius turned quiet. They didn't want to listen but their voices were too hard to escape from without literally leaving the room.

"I heard she has no friends."

"Well, she kind of brought that on herself didn't she? I don't like her. She seems really selfish."

"You have to feel sorry for her, though."

Peter watched carefully between his friends, wondering who would speak first. It was Remus who cracked.

"Do you think it would be appropriate if I went to see her?"

Sirius was about to ask that exact same question. Nevertheless, he'd made a decision last night after he'd returned to Gryffindor Tower, not being able to see Georgina and running into James and Lily. He was going to stick by Remus' side. How dare Georgina reject Remus because of that minute problem he suffered once a month! How dare she be so narrow-minded! He always believed friendship was more important than girls; he'd just got swayed in the moment of so much happening last night. Hell, he'd seen the Dark Mark additionally and felt somewhat magnetized by it, which was bound to have confused all his thoughts afterwards. Perhaps that sense of fascination towards the Dark Mark had been the 'Black' coming out of him. He wouldn't let it creep out again - it had already taken over the rest of his family.

"Forget about Georgina, Moony," Sirius told him once out of his thoughts. "I think she's best alone after last night. She's not good news, and she seems to have made it pretty clear to you that she doesn't think you're worthy of her company," he ended on a snarl.

"I suppose," Remus agreed quietly. He stared into his glass of water as though it were bottomless.

Why did he have a dreading sensation that even though everything seemed fine on the surface, everything was slowly falling apart underneath?

----------------

Meanwhile, Lily's friend Nicole had brought James down a deserted corridor to talk. Her solemn expression completed the tense feel of the topic at hand.

"Now, James—"

"SNAP!"

Nicole frowned at him - James was pointing to the glasses perched on his nose, and then at the pair of glasses Nicole was wearing on hers. The fact that they were both wearing glasses was apparently startling.

"I worry why you and Sirius find it so remarkable that we both wear glasses. We're not the only ones who wear them in this school, you know."

James ignored her. "SNAP!"

"Oh dear God. Look, let's get onto the matter at hand, shall we?"

"Yes," James agreed, a little embarrassed for the last two utterances he had shouted (undoubtedly Sirius would have poked fun if he were present). "So, what are we thinking I should get Lily for Christmas?"

Nicole gawked at him to some extent. "Are you having a laugh?" James looked at her confusedly. "You bloody idiot, we're not discussing what you're getting Lily for Christmas! That's what I made up to Lily so she wouldn't think we were talking about her!"

"Oh! ...Really though, would lingerie be appropriate?" he asked, because apparently the gift of lingerie was ideal from every Marauder.

"No, and we'll have this conversation at a later time, but I need to tell you what Lily was doing yesterday—"

"ELIZABETH! YOUR NAME IS ELIZABETH!"

"For God's sake, Peter said my name is NICOLE!"

"Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot." James raked a hand through his hair in shame. "Carry on."

"I feel bad for telling you this behind Lily's back but I'm just worried about her, you know?" James nodded for her to continue and that it was alright. "Yesterday in Hogsmeade I spotted Lily following Derrick."

"Right," James replied warily, not blowing his top straight away.

"For an entire afternoon," she added.

He thought she was joking at first, but her face told him she was far from telling stories. His eyes grew wide a little as he tried to get his head round what she'd revealed. "Right," he said again, unsure of what to say. His mind whirled with thoughts that weren't in Lily's favour, thoughts growing into ideas, and ideas growing into images he didn't want to see that would eventually form into facts in his brain.

"I don't know why she was doing it," Nicole continued. "She just made up some lame excuse about how it was her 'Head Girl duty', but you and I both know that's bollocks. …I needed to tell you because there is something going on, and you're a nice guy, James, and Derrick isn't. Lily's my friend and I don't want him back into her life again."

"Neither do I," James insisted.

Nicole looked worried for a moment. "You won't tell Lily I told you—"

"Course not," James said at once. "Don't worry, Nicole, I'm gonna sort this all out." He held a comforting yet resolute stare, and Nicole could only believe his word.

He never knew out of all the Marauders he would have to be the one to find Georgina later. The word hypocrite sprang to mind, but he needed her help.

-----------

Lily hadn't talked to James or seen him much that day, except briefly before walking to the Great Hall for breakfast. She assumed he'd decided today was a Sunday for the Marauders to catch up fully now that Remus was back in the 'clang'. The time was quite late, as Lily was alone in the Head Tower. The room was lit with the odd small soft-lit candles as she sat in front of the fireplace, flames reflecting in her green eyes, giving off the image of fire burning grass. The scene looked cosy if you didn't look too close.

She'd gathered all of the Half Blood Prince's letters, every last one of them, and piled them on the floor. They made an impressive small heap. She picked up random pieces of parchment and read.

'Through their kisses and caresses they experienced a joy and wonder the equal of which has never been known or heard of,
But I shall be silent, for the rarest and most delectable pleasures are those which are hinted at, but never told.'

'The modest Rose puts forth a thorn,
The humble sheep a threatening horn,
While the Lily white shall in love delight,
Nor a thorn nor a threat stain her beauty bright.'

A shiver ran up her spine as she read the next one, putting her off from reading any more.

My knife, your throat.

She couldn't understand it. How could a person go from kisses and caresses to knives? She dropped the note back into the pile with the others.

She'd burn them, every single one, and if the Half Blood Prince sent her any more, she would burn them too without even reading them.

The fireplace was especially blazing with flames, as though eager to accept the parchment. Picking up a handful of the notes, she dropped them into the fireplace, keen to watch them turn black until eventually curling into ashes. Her foot tapped impatiently. Any second now…

The parchment would not burn.

At first she thought it was just taking a while for the flames to react with the notes, but nothing was happening, and several seconds had passed. The instant flame touched parchment it should have immediately ignited, but it seemed as though the notes were simply resting comfortably on the fire, no reaction at all.

That's impossible, Lily thought. She grabbed the fire poker and prodded the notes further into the flames, but there was merely spit of fire and only that. The parchment still looked untouched. She managed to knock one off the fire and onto the floor and she examined it closer – it looked in perfect condition, almost as if it were shining. She even dared to touch it with her fingers, expecting the heat of it to smoulder her fingers, but the parchment felt at normal temperature.

"Come on," she said angrily, prodding at the other notes in the fireplace once more, yet they refused do anything. She let out a cry of frustration and threw the fire poker to the floor, cradling her head in her hands.

He put a spell on it, Lily thought furiously. The Prince protected the notes with a spell—aargh. Of course he would do something like this! She knew this person was clever, and he had successfully outdone her.

She felt near tears but determinedly held them back; she knew she had to get the notes hidden before James unexpectedly returned. Hurriedly gathering the notes again, including the ones from the fireplace, she rushed to her dorm. She looked around her room before settling on a spot.

The drawer behind her bed would have to be where the notes returned. Sighing, she deposited them back inside and slammed it shut, so strongly the objects on top of the drawer rattled.

She'd try something tomorrow, she thought, as she carefully sat on the edge of her bed. She'd try something else, search in the library for a counter spell to get rid of those notes, she'd….

She'd…

…realize secrets really did eat you up, make you break into tears and ruin your best set of robes with those little wet things that escaped your eyes, something that she decided she didn't really deserve to do, because really, she'd brought this all on herself, and that made her cry harder.

-------------------

James knew he'd bump into Georgina at some point of the day, and it had been when she was sneaking out of the Ravenclaw Tower to get some food from the kitchens (she'd missed all meals, knowing that eating in the Great Hall that day would be uncomfortable with the school's eyes on her). James had tried to join in the Marauders' celebration on Remus' return, but he simply couldn't concentrate, especially after what Nicole had told him that morning.

"How are you?" James had asked, managing to corner her behind a tapestry.

Georgina nodded timidly. After a lengthy pause, she managed, "Okay."

"Shouldn't you be at home?"

"This is my home," she corrected him a little rudely.

"No, I mean, with your family."

Georgina softened her tone. "That's what Dumbledore recommended too, but I'd rather not, plus I don't have much family left." She plastered on a fake smile which made James look at her sadly. "Did you know I have a new title, beside Hogwarts Tart? Georgina: orphan." Unbelievably, she laughed, but James refused to join in. "Funny, isn't it?"

"No," James replied quietly. "I know you've probably heard this a lot today, but I'm sorry for your loss—"

"Actually, I haven't heard it a lot today," Georgina interrupted him. She stared off thoughtfully. "It's okay when someone's died naturally, but people just don't know what to say to you when your father was murdered, most especially by You-Know-Who's followers."

James understood. "You seem," he observed her closely, "quite calm about it all."

"I'd expected it," Georgina revealed grimly. Sighing, she swept back her fringe and shook her head in irritation. "My foolish father… He got caught up with some dangerous people. He was in big debt, and I don't mean of the financial kind. The idiot…."

"For getting caught up with the Dark Arts?" James finished her sentence.

Georgina looked up through dark eyes. "For getting caught."

James pressed no further on that matter. There would always be that part of Georgina which baffled him.

"I know this is an appropriate time, but I need…to ask a favour of you."

"A favour?" she echoed curiously.

James nodded. "I learned earlier today that Lily has been taking a particular interest with Derrick—"

"He's still a problem, then?"

James disliked her tone and that question. "What do you mean?"

"Doesn't it seem that ever since you've been dating Lily Derrick has been a problem?" Georgina raised her brow at him. "Hovering in the background like a bad omen," she said mysteriously, "like a reminder of doubt."

Until now, James had never thought of that. "No," he lied unconvincingly. Derrick hadn't always been a problem from the start, had he? He wasn't a problem now, James told himself, just a slight inconvenience.

"I want you to get closer to Derrick," James continued. Georgina was both surprised and perplexed by such a request. "It seems like he can't get over the fact that Lily chose me instead of him. I need you to keep him as far away from Lily as possible, be his distraction."

"That's all I am, after all," Georgina added in a hollow tone, "a boy's distraction, their bit on the side."

"Are you expecting me to disagree here?" James asked quietly.

Georgina pulled a slight smile and shook her head.

James looked at her expectantly. "Will you do it, then?"

She appeared to be having a battle with her thoughts. "It's just…" she started, her tone suggesting she was reluctant to accept.

"Come on, what's the problem? This is your speciality."

"But I don't want to do stuff like this, James. I'm turning over a new leaf, remember? There was a time in my life when I'd do it because I found it fun, getting close to people, whether or not to find out valuable information, then drop them the second the deed was done and they were too smitten with me to bear—"

"Like you did with Remus," James cut her off bitterly.

Georgina's face turned unpleasant. "That was different and you know it."

"How?" James demanded angrily. "How the hell is it different at all? You got close to him, found out about his furry little problem, and you dropped him like that," he clicked his fingers to emphasise his point. Georgina snorted at his phrasing.

"Furry little problem?" she repeated with disbelief. "He's a werewolf. He could kill you."

"He wouldn't hurt anyone," he hissed with angry eyes. Georgina didn't break under his gaze. He calmed down and returned to the issue at hand. "I expect you glued by Derrick's side tomorrow, Georgina. Goodnight." He made to leave.

"What makes you think I'll do this?" she called loudly after him down the corridor.

James threw a sad look over his shoulder. "Because I know you've got a lot of debts to repay for things you've done in the past, Georgina, and you're only going to end up in the direction of your father if you never do any good deeds. And if you think someone like you, a person that judges others wrongly and abandons a great bloke because of a condition he never asked for since the mere age of six, is going up there, love," he pointed upwards, signifying to heaven, "then you're more narrow-minded than I thought." He paused for a second, regretful for being so harsh with her. "Again, I'm sorry for your loss," he told her softly. "Goodnight." He turned back round and made his way to the Head Tower.

Upon arriving at the Head Tower, he knew something was wrong, an obvious hint being the portrait of the Fat Man humming the funeral march as he stepped through. He discovered the fireplace blazing wildly and muttered a spell to make it die a fraction before it burnt the entire room with its heat.

"Orange peel?" he called her ridiculous nickname; he'd missed her and just wanted to hold her in his arms. He mooched his way to Lily's room and knocked on the door. "Lil-eeeee?"

The sound of a sob escaped from behind the door and James furrowed his brow. "Lily?" He instantly made for the doorknob and, finding the door was open, rushed inside the room: Lily was crying as she sat on the edge of her bed, her face covered by her hands. She slowly removed her fingers from her face and quickly covered them again upon discovering James had entered. She couldn't let him see her like this, fragile, weak, all an Evans couldn't be. James paled at the sight of her drenched face the split second he witnessed it.

"Hey!" He hurried forwards and tried to embrace her but Lily had jumped up from the bed, and purposely turned her back to avoid facing him. She rushed to a corner of the room, trying to shield her tear-covered cheeks. "Lily! What is going on?"

Predictably, instead of answering the question, she only cried harder. The sight of her like this frustrated him to such extent where he felt like crying, too. He tried again, softer, no questions, just comfort, "Lily, come here…"

She suddenly spun round and James wrapped his arms round her small frame. Lily Hugs (aka: 'Lugs') didn't feel nice when the girl held onto you for dear life as she cried on your shoulder the entire night, while you sssssssh-ed and I'm-here-ed quietly in her ear as you rubbed her back, wondering why she was sprouting those little wet things from her eyes and being so angry with yourself because you couldn't answer one simple question:

Why?

----------------

Sirius, Remus and Peter quietened at once when James arrived at breakfast the next morning. His hair was more unkempt than ever and tremendous black bags under his eyes were noticeable. He grunted as a means of hello. His hand seized a glass of orange juice which he quickly downed in gulps.

"You do know that orange juice doesn't have the same effect as alcohol," Peter pointed out; intrigued at the speed he was practically inhaling his juice. James grunted again.

"You look tired, Prongs," Sirius pointed out the obvious.

James slammed his glass onto the table and Sirius flinched.

"Do you really want to know why I'm tired?" He leant closer and his friends got a better look at his red eyes. "Because my girlfriend is sitting on the other end of the table pretending that nothing happened last night." The boys glanced down the table and found Lily staring at her golden plate, not eating, despite sitting in the Great Hall for breakfast, eating a somewhat compulsory thing in that location. "And do you really want to know what happened last night?" Peter began to shake his head but James continued. "She was sobbing on my shoulder the whole time, and do you know what just takes the fucking biscuit? I don't know what made her cry because she obviously doesn't trust me enough to tell me. So that's why I couldn't sleep last night and why I'm so fucking tired."

"Prongs-" Sirius started.

James put up his hand and he stopped. "Leave it."

"Prongs," Sirius said again.

James looked as though he was about to snap at him but realized what he'd just said and put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry," he apologized hoarsely. "I just—I really don't know what to do. She's hiding something, I know she is, and it's scaring me shitless wondering what it is, and I think it might have something to do with Derrick—God, if it's got something to do with him…" He thumped the table with his fist.

"Just talk to her, James," Remus said.

"I can't bloody well order it out of her, can I?" James pulled at his hair. "She won't even look me in the eye after last night. I don't know how much more of this I can take, Moony, I think it's been going on for ages and I've been left in the dark about it. …I really don't want to lose her—seriously, if this has anything to do with that prick Derrick…" he trailed off and looked sadly at the other end of the table where Lily was sitting.

"Find out what she's hiding."

"But she won't tell me, Padfoot!" James snapped.

"Then look for it yourself, idiot."

Remus, alarmed, looked up at Sirius, not liking the direction this was going.

"Find clues. Search her room," Sirius continued.

"No way," Remus said at once, glaring daggers at Sirius for such an idea. He turned back to James. "Prongs, don't even think about searching her room, it's a breach of her privacy. Whatever she has to tell you she'll tell in her own time—"

"She could never tell him," Sirius pointed out.

"Stop putting ideas into his head!" Remus scolded him. "James, please." He didn't like that thoughtful expression on his face.

"Come on Prongs, do you want to wait for the day she owns up—which could never come, might I add—or find out now so you can move on from this?"

After a small while James nodded at Sirius. "You're absolutely right."

"James!" Remus gawked at him.

"Sorry Moony," James shrugged his shoulders. "I've got to do this." He got up from his seat and hurried to the exit, his next destination the Head Tower and Lily's room.

"Don't do this, James!" Remus called after him, but it was too late as he was already out of sight. He promptly turned to Sirius and bravely pushed his chest, making him outcry and stumble back. Sirius stared back at him, bewildered - Remus had never hit him before. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm just trying to help him!" Sirius roared back.

"Why do you always have to make everything a million times worse? Do you even realize what you've just done?" Sirius' blank expression angered him. "Augh, for God's sake!" He threw up his hands and stormed off after James, hoping he'd catch him in time before he did anything foolish.

-------------

As James stood by Lily's, he could feel two voices fighting in his head - the level-headed Remus forbidding him entry, and the much more appealing voice of Sirius tempting him to cross the threshold.

He crossed the threshold.

Wild and desperate, he began to search the room, shoving things aside and flinging belongings out of the way, clearing a path to the truth. The longer he searched the angrier he became and the more mess he caused, soon finding he was destroying the room for no reason. Finally, he came to a drawer beside Lily's bed he hadn't checked. In rage, he pulled the drawer out and flung it across the room and onto the floor, masses of pieces of parchment spraying everywhere. He ogled at the display and took a closer look at the contents of the drawer. He picked up one of the notes…

It was blank. All of them were blank.

James furrowed his brow. Surely all these pieces of parchment Lily kept couldn't be empty of writing? Why on earth would she keep them if they were blank?

A dreadful thought hit him. Slowly getting out his wand, he pointed it at the piece of parchment.

Do you really want to know, James? He wondered as his hand shook. Do you really want to know what it says?

The appealing voice of Sirius in his mind prodded at him again.

Yes.

"Aparecium," he made the invisible ink come alive.

----------------

She'd decided: she was finally going to tell James about the Half Blood Prince.

She couldn't keep it in any longer. James would understand and help her. She couldn't cope with this problem by herself to any further extent, it was simply too much to cope with for one person. She needed him. He'd make everything better.

Except something was undoubtedly wrong, because when she entered the Head Tower soon after breakfast, that pang in her stomach she thought was just nerves felt like it was eating away at her, like the secret that had been slowly devouring her. And when she entered the Head Tower, Sirius, Remus and Peter were already inside, looking at her as though seeing her in a different light, a new and bad different light.

"What's going on?" Lily asked frantically. "Where's James?"

Sirius shook his head angrily at her before pointing to her room. "In there."

He'd found them.

"No," she covered her hand with her mouth. Hurrying across the room, she pushed past Sirius and opened the door to her room: James was sitting on her bed, every last one of the Half Blood Prince's letters scattered across the floor - one was in his hand, crumpling as his fist unconsciously quaked. He was looking at Lily with the new and bad different light, too.

"What the hell are these?"