A/n: Yes, I am too much of my penname it's disgusting. The next chapter may be the last, depending how it goes. May I take this opportunity to say how much I love you readers (aaaaw, VOMIT). Really, you're all very incredibly generous with reviews and I'm really sorry I can't reply to them all, but I can tell you they're very much appreciated. And thanks so much for the birthday wishes last chapter! I didn't finish NaNoWriMo (only around eleven thousand words) but some of my original novel is posted on my Livejournal.

Much love to my beta Anna :)

Chapter 20

Lily's mind reeled in panic as James stared at her, boring a hole through her from across the room. Earlier she'd been so keen to tell him all the business about the Half Blood Prince, yet now her voice escaped her. It felt so surreal, her being there and James finding her secret - it was nothing like how she'd imagined or planned it: both sitting down as she told him, both calm, him upset but understanding, nothing like this moment where he looked far from accepting any bad news.

"Lily, I swear to Merlin, if you don't say anything in the next five seconds I will be speaking in a way that if written down on parchment would undoubtedly be in capitals."

Terrified, she couldn't utter a word. She wanted nothing more than to run away.

"LILY!" he urged her.

"What's the point?" A pinch of sourness crept in her reply. "What's the point in me saying anything when you're just going to get the wrong idea anyway? You've misunderstood everything, it's written all over your face-"

"GUILT'S WRITTEN ALL OVER YOURS!"

Lily sucked in a breath at this - his yell had been so thunderous she felt the need to take a step back and look pointedly at the floor, but that didn't make her feel any better since it was plastered with the Prince's notes. He looked like he wanted to apologize for the outburst but he was simply too livid.

He took a deep breath and asked again, voice low but heated, "What are these?"

She couldn't believe he was asking such a dim-witted question. "What do they look like to you, James? Sodding letters to Father Christmas?"

"Don't patronize me, Lily!" he snapped. Leaping from her bed, he stormed over to her and waved the note roughly in her face. "Who is this-" he read the name snidely from the parchment "-'Half Blood Prince' snot?"

She could feel tears beginning to form in her eyes. "I don't know," she answered quietly. James frowned at her.

"You don't know?" he echoed derisively. He shook her by the shoulders; she wanted to cover her ears. "You don't know! Bollocks! Stop lying to me!"

"It's the truth!" She was frantic for him to understand but knew words were hardly enough evidence for him. "I don't know who he is! I'm not lying, I swear to you!"

"How can I even believe a word you say, Lily? God knows how long you've kept me in the dark about this, how long you've been lying to my face…"

She held on to his arm in desperation. "I didn't want to worry you."

"Worry?" he spat the word in rage. "All I've done, Lily, is worry about you!"

She let go of his arm as he tore away from her. She hated the sound of his feet touching the Prince's notes strewn across the floor - each crunch of foot connecting with parchment felt like another betrayal against James. He paced the room and she felt nauseous just by watching him.

"I want to know everything," he murmured, his stare cold. "Who he is, what's been going on, every single little thing."

Suddenly, Lily thought of a question: how had James found the notes in the first place? Without a doubt he'd used the spell to reveal the ink she'd charmed to be invisible, but how had he, by accident, come across the drawer? The answer was clear: he hadn't. And as she examined the surroundings of her room, messy and plainly explored, she felt a familiar rush of anger swell up inside her.

"You searched my room," her voice came out in a fierce whisper.

James looked up at her angered disbelief. "Don't you dare make it look as if I'm in the wrong here!"

"You searched my room," she repeated louder. "I don't believe this! It just gets better and better, doesn't it? I can't believe you don't trust me!"

"Obviously I can't when you hide stuff like this from me!" He grabbed a handful of the notes from the floor and threw them in the air angrily - it resembled a small whirlwind as the notes spun and slowly drifted back into the sea of parchment, rustling all the while, making Lily feel the urge to cut off her own ears from the sound that prodded her with guilt. If only the stupid parchment had burned in the fire! "But wait," he continued in a scathing tone, "You were just trying to protect me, right? Just neglected to tell me about your little affair."

"Affair?" repeated Lily ludicrously. She felt compelled to laugh at the absurdity of it all. "What are you talking about? There's been no affair!"

"I think all this," James kicked the parchment across the floor, "is evidence of the love letters you've been exchanging with your royal boyfriend."

Lily felt like slapping him. "You don't know anything!"

"And why do you think that this is, Lily? Because you haven't told me anything!"

"Because it's so bloody difficult to sit down and have an adult conversation with you sometimes, James!" she couldn't help but scream. She wasn't sure if she really meant it or not; she just needed to attack him with something – anything – for accusing her of seeing someone else behind his back. "I'd planned to have an adult conversation with you about this, so I could explain, but here you are, acting like a child and jumping to conclusions, taking any stupid idea as fact!" She couldn't help but feel it was Sirius' influence on him.

"You know what?" He was so close to her now; on any normal day she would expect a kiss from him in such proximity, now all he did was glare at her with displeasure. "I don't think I want to know after all."

Lily turned more confused than ever. "W-what?"

"You heard me." He sent her a chilling stare. "I just… Fuck." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "I need air," he announced all of a sudden. He stormed out of the room, trampling on the notes as though stabbing every single one with each step he took.

Lily stood frozen to the ground for a moment, her eyes wide and shiny as she took in everything that had just happened. Finally, her brain caught up with her. She ran from her bedroom, hoping to prevent James from leaving - they couldn't leave things like this, there was so much more they needed to discuss. And she hadn't even said sorry.

"James!" She hurried across the common room, passing Peter, Remus, and Sirius who watched the scene rather pryingly in silence (she thought they would have left). "James, wait!" she shouted one final time, but he'd already exited through the portrait hole, and, much to her bemusement, she didn't feel like following him.

She stood by the opening, staring so hard she would swear she'd forgotten how to blink. Was James ever going to talk to her again? That was, if she ever wanted to talk to him - he had searched her room like a nosy mother seeking her daughter's diary. And then out of the blue tears had come again, except she had no James to cry on his shoulder this time. She covered her face in embarrassment - she was crying and Marauders were present in the room. They'd never seen her like this and would probably never let her live it down. Remus seemed the most concerned, advancing towards her, while Sirius watched indignantly at his actions.

"Lily, I'm sorry." Not knowing what to do in front of crying girls, Remus put an arm around her. "I tried to stop him."

"Wait," Peter picked up on what Remus said and looked at him strangely. "You knew about this note stuff?"

Sirius had also caught on and was frowning. "Ever heard of Marauder loyalty, Moony?"

Tiredly, Remus rubbed his forehead. "But I owed my loyalty to Lily," he stood up for himself.

"You're not her fucking boyfriend, are you?" Sirius snapped.

More tears began to fall as Lily watched the boys quarrel; she felt it was her fault everyone was arguing. Escaping Remus' arm, she left the boys and ran inside her dorm, shutting the door firmly behind her.

"Well done, Sirius," Remus congratulated him darkly.

"Let her cry, she doesn't deserve any comfort from us!" replied Sirius sourly. He turned even sourer against Remus. "I think congratulations are in order for you, Moony, for pretty much being the best betrayer." Remus tried not to take the comment to heart; Sirius was just overreacting, getting caught in the moment. He didn't really mean it - at least, Remus hoped.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys or James but I swore to Lily I'd keep it secret."

"Keep it a secret that his girlfriend was cheating on him?" Sirius said absurdly. "I think you need to get your priorities sorted, mate."

"She's not cheating on him; both you and James are being so ignorant. If you and him would just listen to her you'd know she just has some sort of deluded secret admirer that keeps writing her silly poems, and that's all there is to it!"

Sirius had clearly had enough with the conversation. "Whatever, alright? I'm going to be a real friend right now and comfort Prongs." He made for the exit.

Remus knew there was no point trying to stop Sirius and could only watch him clamber through the portrait hole in search of his stag friend.

Sirius would pick up the pieces of James, just like all the times Evans had turned him down and he'd had to put his fellow Marauder back together.

---------------

James felt like throwing things again, throwing expensive things. For the safety of everyone in Hogwarts he had to get out of the castle before he started picking up people he passed in the corridor and flinging them at the wall like human darts. He didn't want to think of Lily because thinking of Lily made him want to smash things even more, so keeping his mind as blank as possible ('LILY'S CHEATING ON ME, LILY'S CHEATING ON ME and OH, LILY'S CHEATING ON MEEEE') he kept his head down as he strode down the corridor, determined to make it to the Hogwarts grounds without any casualties on the way.

Wishful thinking, he thought immediately, as he spotted Derrick and Georgina hand-in-hand heading his way. On the upside, Georgina had done what he'd asked - she and Derrick seemed to be dating, judging by their close proximities lately Lily seemed far from the pinnacle of his interest. James gave Georgina a courteous nod as she passed. On the downside, Derrick had made such a smirk at him his blood run cold, so cold it might freeze and clog up his arteries. What did he have to sneer about? James didn't know, but he had to get out of this castle because Derrick, at this precise moment, looked like a pretty promising human dart.

Finally making it to the grounds, he took in a deep breath of the cool air - it felt good filling up his lungs with it. The space inside the castle felt so stuffy. The air outside was so much more…unsullied and pure. He'd thought Lily was pure, but the pure didn't cheat.

He found himself still walking even though he'd made it to his destination of the grounds. Walking sidetracked him ('move right foot, move left foot, move right foot, move left foot'). He felt like he was in a daze, and was almost startled when he realized he'd stridden the whole way over to the entrance of the Forbidden Forest.

He watched the leaves amongst the branches rustle softly in the breeze. Now that he'd stopped moving his thoughts were beginning to drift back to Lily again. Unavoidably, his mind ran away with him, ran far, far away to Bulgaria, images of Lily kissing a prince who wore a sparkling crown and a magical robe made out of gold, while he sat on his chocolate throne eating his caviar encrusted with diamonds (James' knowledge on princes wasn't that precise). Maybe Lily was better off with royalty? To him, she was like a princess (in need of some damn anger management, but he was hardly one to say that after what had happened earlier), and he supposed she did deserve a prince. James couldn't be a prince - he didn't like hats and wearing a crown of some sort would undoubtedly be a problem.

The forest seemed to beckon him within, the illusion of tree branches curling into hands, spindly fingers waving him forwards. He surrendered to it. He needed to change into a stag and think of nothing but the grass beneath his hooves, head-butting tree trunks (he swore he had a strong stag head like a mountain goat), and avoid getting his antlers stuck in branches. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath out - he felt slight satisfaction in this as all his anger was released and he began to transform. When he was on all fours and his skin was replaced with a smooth brown coat envied by many creatures in the Forbidden Forest, he galloped into the woods, fast and free.

---------------

Sirius decided to check the Great Lake first for James; he was probably all depressed and suicidal by the beech tree like every other single time he had had an argument with Evans. Since he had got a steady girlfriend he was so bloody predictable and humdrum.

He passed Georgina and Derrick in a corridor but pointedly didn't look their way - what a sickening couple they made. What had he ever seen in her? She'd had him completely fooled.

He stopped in the passage when a girl approached him, Lily's friend Nicole. He'd deemed her likable because he liked people who wore glasses; especially ones that let him wear them for a laugh and used them to reflect sunlight, burning a couple of ant nest kingdoms.

"Can I wear your glasses? I promise I won't smolder an ant monarchy."

Nicole frowned at him; did he always have to greet people so bizarrely? "What? No!" She sent him a strange look. "Have you seen Lily, by chance?"

Sirius quickly turned bitter. He wished Lily were an ant he could flame in an insect realm. "No, I haven't. You could go search for her in HELL," he offered disdainfully.

Nicole glared at him as he marched off, continuing on his hunt for James. "What's your problem?" she shouted after him.

"Nothing," he threw his answer his shoulder. "And while you're looking in hell, say hello to the 'Prince' for me, will you?"

Nicole could do nothing but furrow her brow in perplexity.

When Sirius arrived at the Great Lake, James was nowhere to be found. He scratched his head in confusion - where else could the twonk be? As big as Hogwarts was, there weren't that many places to hide; he could only imagine James wanted to escape the castle so he had to be outside the walls of the school.

He suddenly looked over to the Forbidden Forest and he felt something click. Peculiar time to transform, Prongs, he thought. Shaking his head, he strolled across the grounds towards the woods. When he was at the foot of the forest, a familiar grin spread across his face just like any moment before Animagus time - it was such an invigorating thing, being a dog, having so much hair it could cover a pillow case and slobbering everywhere. Plus, he'd track down James in a second with that rather disgustingly wet nose of his.

He relaxed his body, then shutting his eyes for a second, slowly changed into 'man's best friend' (Remus, Peter and James would constantly argue with this phrase). He made into an eager run as he entered the woods, sniffing the ground all the way.

---------------

Lily had lain in the bed of the Prince's notes.

She felt too tired to move them. After locking herself in her bedroom she'd collapsed on the note-ridden bed and tried to get some sleep, but her body felt stiff against the parchment - it was like the Half Blood Prince had his slimy hands all over her skin. She resorted to sitting against a wall in the farthest corner of the room where there was a small patch of bare carpet.

There was another knock at the door and she groaned. Remus had tried to speak to her for the past hour but she refused to open the door to him. She knew he meant well but she didn't fancy seeing him - he was a friend of James', and she didn't feel like being in the presence of anyone familiar with her boyfriend.

Another knock was made and she sighed. "Remus, please. Just go back to Gryffindor tower, I'll be fine."

There was a moment of silence until a voice replied behind the door, "Lily, it's me."

Her eyes grew wide. She quickly hurried across the room and flung the door open: there was her friend Nicole looking worried and confused. At once, Lily attacked her with a hug.

"I'm so glad it's you," she whispered thankfully. Nicole smiled. So this was what rekindled friendship felt like? It felt better than drinking euphoria elixir.

"You ready to tell me what's going on now?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah." Lily shot her an apologetic look hinting she was sorry for not telling her sooner, and ushered her inside. "Yeah, sit down and tell me how much of a nob I've been."

---------------

After deliberately bashing into yet another tree trunk, Prongs' head was starting to hurt; perhaps he didn't have a skull like a mountain goat after all because he was developing a clear case of dizziness, and a dizzy stag was a marvelous sight to watch, with his slender legs wobbling all over the place. Deciding food was the best cure for stag vertigo, he started nibbling at some fresh grass. He assumed he was alone - he'd checked this part of the woods to make sure he wasn't near any magical creatures that inhabited the forest.

He spotted a butterfly flutter by and swiftly abandoning the grass (it seemed that this particular stag had a short attention span) he began to chase it and tried attacking it with his antlers. Evidently, antlers were only good for two things: attacking enemies (the butterfly had antagonized him, he protested) and hanging your underwear off them.

All of a sudden there was a distinct bark in the distance, and Prongs' eyes grew wide. He knew that woof; there was only one mutt who made that woof. Determined not to be found, he took off deeper into the woods, his hooves hammering hard against the forest floor. The barking got louder and as he tried to gain speed he turned a corner too fast, his antlers getting stuck in a tree branch. He wished they were more compact sometimes; they really got in the way.

As Prongs wrestled with the branch, the shaggy black-haired dog dubbed Padfoot appeared in front of him, grinning (if that was even possible for a dog), flashing many of his canine teeth - it was the kind of teeth-flashing you saw on a dog before it decided to piss on you. As Padfoot crept closer Prongs fought tougher with the tree that had captured him. He had to get away; Padfoot's pee would burn him! Just as Padfoot lifted a leg up, Prongs managed to escape the branch and a serious Sirius urination.

The dog yelped as the stag lunged at him, yet missed and head-butted (this time involuntarily) into yet another tree trunk. Padfoot made another bark of what could be guessed as hilarity. Even more irate, Prongs charged at him again but he stumbled over a rock - his slim legs wobbled like jelly and he toppled to the ground. Just as Padfoot had began to slobber over Prongs' feet, the stag transformed back into human form, the dog following in unison, but not without a surge of giggles.

"Watching you fall over as a stag will never stop being funny," Sirius remarked as he picked himself up from all fours. James was busy wiping his soggy shoes as he staggered to his feet and raked a hand through his hair, trying to pick out bits of twigs.

"You're a complete bastard, did you know that?"

"Since birth, my friend," Sirius replied roguishly.

James couldn't help but smile a little. "How'd you find me?"

"Well," Sirius settled himself against a tree, "I just thought: if I were James and a complete poofter, where would I go? And the Prefect's bathroom was empty so I came here."

"Oh har har." James crossed his arms and also leant against a tree. Sirius stared at him in silence, and as the stillness stretched James looked on glumly. "Banter with me some more so I can stop thinking about her," he ordered his friend.

Sirius sighed and rubbed his back against the tree bark as though he was still in his Animagus form. "I've ran out of repartee juice."

James raised an eyebrow. "What exactly does that taste like?"

"Mango," Sirius answered predictably. James didn't think that word was appropriate - he'd gotten confused to whether Sirius was actually talking about mangoes or he was using it as the codeword for sex. He didn't think a sex flavour existed, and if it did it was simply immoral. "You can buy it from the store of personality," he continued in jest. "You should go there sometime."

"Har har," James said again. He tried to think of a sharp retort to continue their teasing session but his head hurt and he simply wasn't in the mood. "Oh, it's not working, Padfoot. All I can think about is Lily shagging some twat noble… Do you think his face is on a coin?" he asked abruptly.

"We can put your face on a coin." Sirius got a sickle out of his pocket and placed it on the palm of his hand. Going over to James, he positioned his hand in front of him, grabbed James' head by his hair and pushed it down into his palm so the coin was pressing against his nose. "There you go."

"I cannot believe you just did that…" James grunted. "You're an awful, awful friend."

"But at least I don't bore you," Sirius pointed out with a grin. Reluctantly, James had to agree. He wanted to turn back into a stag again but Sirius seemed keen to talk, and it was rather difficult for a dog and a stag to communicate - it entailed much grunting, woofs and slobber. Slobber everywhere.

"What are you going to do about Lily?" Sirius appeared careful when he asked this.

James shrugged. "I don't know. And before you even say it, having make-up-mangoes with Lily would not help."

"Are you entirely sure?"

"Certain as your mother needing to be shot."

Impressed, Sirius whistled. That was a hell of a lot of certainty. "Moony," he started cautiously, "seems to think this is all a misunderstanding, that Lily's innocent and got some bloke stalking her."

James took in what he said with a furrowed brow. "What do you think, Padfoot?" he directed the question with a hint of wanting guidance on what to believe himself.

Sirius mimicked James' actions by shrugging. "I don't know what to think… For your sake, I hope Moony's right because Merlin knows no other girl but Evans will have you."

"And I'll probably have no other girl but Evans," James added with a sigh.

"How revoltingly sweet," Sirius commented, quick in search of a vomit bucket. All of a sudden, he looked uncomfortable. "I feel kind of bad for all this drama going on between you and Lily; I was the one who made you search her room in the first place-"

"Padfoot, I'm glad you made me." James didn't understand why Sirius was speaking with such remorse. "If you hadn't made me I would have never found out about the notes. It's good it's out in the open."

"Yeah, well, sometimes things should never be out in the open… much like your genitals."

"Do you mean all genitals in general or just mine?"

Sirius smirked. "Just yours, mate." His thirst was starting to peak. "Do you want to get drunk now?"

James remained impassive. "See, what worries me the most is that if I was a girl you'd add to that question the words 'and snog?' But apart from that, I really think getting drunk in a forbidden forest is a bad idea. You're likely to get molested by a centaur."

"Ugh," Sirius shuddered. "You know what the worst part about that would be? They'd probably do it while commenting every few seconds, 'Mars is bright tonight'."

"The way they go on about the luminosity of Mars you'd think it was decorated in Christmas tree lights."

"I wish it was so I could actually see it in the sky for once when a centaur remarks about it."

James looked thoughtful for a moment, until a wary look suddenly crept upon his face. "This would really backfire if there was a group of centaurs standing behind us right now, wouldn't it?"

Sirius seemed to regret bashing the magical creatures in their habitat, too. "Yes. Yes it would," he whispered back fearfully. He found himself stepping closer to James for protection, and if a centaur happened to pop out of the blue James was nearer for him to shove at them as food. Slowly, the boys spun round and prepared themselves for the worst: a centaur beating…

Nothing was there except the maze of trees.

"Oh thank Merlin," James exhaled with outmost relief. "Considering our track record of bad luck, I am so stunned there's nothing there, aren't you?"

"Holy mother of…" Sirius appeared to be recovering from a mild panic attack. "Christ, I swear my heart stopped beating, my life flashed before my eyes and all it consisted of was me air-humping." He took a few more short deep breaths. "And you're such a poof for being so scared, honestly," he tried to take the attention off himself.

"Me? You're the one who's clinging to my arm, Sirius-" James started but was cut off by a stranger's cough.

"Ahem."

James and Sirius looked at each other, wide-eyed. "We didn't check over in that direction, did we?" Sirius pointed a thumb over his shoulder to their right. Grimly, James nodded. Even slower than before to delay the suffering they would soon face, they turned towards the direction of the voice and were greeted with a pack of furious centaurs.

"Molestation did you say?" one of the group asked fiercely. If they wore shirts they would have rolled up their sleeves in a threatening manner. Sadly, they didn't, and James and Sirius were ogling at their rather impressive and muscular chests, feeling rather intimidated when they looked down at their own and found not a lot there.

"Mars isn't always bright, you know," one of the centaurs huffed. "It just happens to be bright when you're in our company."

The pack strode forwards.

"Oh crud."

---------------

"What the hell happened to you two?"

Remus and Peter gawked from the armchairs in the common room as they watched James and Sirius climb through the portrait hole, both covered in mud from head to toe, though not even muck could cover the sullen looks across their faces. They would have sat down but Remus shot them stern looks that they would certainly not be dirtying furniture in his company.

Peter eyeballed them wearily. "You've been gone for like," he checked his watch, "five hours!" The news of this only worsened the boys' moods.

"You know how we like to make fun of centaurs?" James said as he admired his muddy footsteps on the carpet. After Sirius had spelt his name out in mud he tried following his mud-covered trail but it just lead him in a circle and he started to feel lightheaded.

"Yes, remarkably so," Remus replied. "In fact, it's got so out of control lately I was going to tell a centaur on you so you'd get a written note home to your mother."

"Alright Mr. Smarty pants, do you want to know why we're covered in filth or not?" Sirius butted in with a hand on his hip. Remus didn't think he was referring to the inner filth that was imbedded within Sirius from the day he was born. He nodded for James to continue.

"Well, we finally got our comeuppance," he continued dismally. "They overheard us accusing them of sexual assault-"

"Oh, God," Remus politely covered his mouth with his hand.

"-and they pretty much abducted us, then dumped us in mud." James folded his arms. "I still say they're perverted and wanted us to wrestle before we got away," he said stubbornly.

Sirius seemed delighted James had told their exciting adventure of the day, or simply stopped talking as he was eager to tell Remus something. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he murmured, "They molested me, Moony," as though Remus had to know this and would undoubtedly be upset by the news.

"No they didn't," James disagreed with a scowl. "Besides, why would they molest you and not me? Why? I don't understand this. You're lying. Shut up."

Sirius stuck out his tongue at him, several times for extra annoyance. "You weren't pretty enough, Prongs."

"Not pretty enough?" James repeated his words in incredulity. He pointed to his face. "Do you know how many wish to eat off of this?"

"That's funny, all I can think of is," he struggled to think of a low life form, "…a dog?"

"You do realize you've just insulted yourself since that's your Animagus form, you stupid great tit."

"You do realize I just compared your face to a dog bowl."

"May I point out that neither of you is looking your finest covered in something that resembles excrement?" Remus stated from his chair. "Sirius, go shower, Peter's getting queasy just by looking at you." He proved his point when Peter actually left the room, finding the sight of the boys covered in mud rather sickening.

Mumbling, "Yes, mother," Sirius clambered up the staircase to the dorms, not caring about the muddy trail he left in his shadow - at this point James realized Remus had purposely got rid of him so they could talk alone. Rather awkwardly, James took off his glasses and attempted to clean them as a means of something to do with his hands.

"I think you should go talk to Lily properly," Remus advised him. James raised his brow at his choice of words.

"Properly?"

"Yes, properly. Not arguing who's betrayed whom, just sit down, talk and listen to each other."

James over-exaggerated how tired he was with a yawn. "Moony, I've just been taken prisoner by talking horses, I'm pretty tired…"

"I don't think this is something you should leave until the morning," Remus told him truthfully.

James replied, quiet and reluctant, "I don't think I can even look at her right now."

Remus shook his head and exhaled noisily in his reply. "James, you know the countless number of times you insist I 'know everything'?"

"Yes," he replied, a little confused. He wandered over to where Remus was sitting and threatened to poke his head with one of his grubby hands. "It's that gigantic brain of yours. It's so big it could be considered an entirely separate person. In my mind I like to refer to you both as 'Remus' and 'Remus' brain'."

"Well, yes, whatever," Remus brushed that aside and moved on. "Since you claim I know everything, here's something I can tell you I know inside out: that girl loves you and she's most certainly not seeing someone else."

James swallowed hard. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so, remember. Now please just bugger off and make things up with Lily, then get some rest," he ushered him towards the way out. "It's been a long day."

James smiled - Remus was always there for him to give great guidance and get him back on track of confusing adolescence. "I'd give you a hug but I don't want to get you all grubby."

"Thanks, I appreciate you not getting me unclean—"

"Oh, what the hell! C'mere!"

"Wait, what? Wait, James, no—AUGH, MY SWEATER VEST," Remus cried out, now covered in brown. "Leave before I do something I regret."

James quickly scampered through the portrait hole. Squirming from the dirt that coated his front and back (how bloody wide were James' hugs?), Remus made the woeful journey to his dorm. The second he entered the room, Sirius remarked with a towel round his head (was he a woman?) and a towel round his waist fresh from a shower, "Remus, go wash, Peter's getting queasy just by looking at you." This would have worked better if Peter wasn't sleeping, and at once, Remus aimed a pillow at Sirius' head, though he didn't try hard enough as it easily missed, clearly only half-arsed to do anything while covered in dirt.

"A centaur—practically a talking horse—has a better chest than me, Moony."

"That's incredibly interesting." He watched Sirius prod his chest looking rather disheartened that it didn't compare to one of his earlier abductors. "You didn't tell James, did you?"

"Tell him what?" Sirius answered absentmindedly.

"Tell him I already knew about the notes."

Sirius rolled his eyes at him. "'Course not. You know how mad Prongs would have got. He'd throw things. Heavy things. At your head. Your cranium is a valuable thing, Remus Lupin."

Underneath the jokes Remus knew Sirius had done a great gesture. "Thank you."

"Well…yeah," Sirius replied embarrassedly, "Like I say, sometimes things are best not left out in the open, much like your genitals."

"Why do I have an uncanny feeling you've used that bizarre phrase more than once today?"

---------------

"Lily."

James was standing in her bedroom; Nicole had just left the room after he had asked to talk to Lily in private. She was still sitting against the wall on the bare bit of carpet, but it was impossible to disguise the perplexity on her face as she took in his mud-covered self with startled eyes.

"What happened to you?" she asked barely above a whisper.

He chuckled a little as he slid against the wall and sat next to her. "Long story," he answered briefly. There was an exchange of silence where they just stared at each other, until James rather shyly took her hand (fortunately, his hand was clean), kissed it for a moment and held it snugly in his lap. "I'm sorry for searching your room and overreacting earlier; I'm ready to listen now."

Those were the exact words Lily wanted to hear, almost laughing. "Your glasses are all covered in mud," she smiled as she wiped one of the frames with her finger. Her hand gradually moved to affectionately wipe at his dirty cheeks. Sadly, she knew she couldn't delay it any longer and started to explain. "When we first got back to the castle there was a note on my bed… It was from the Half Blood Prince." She could tell James found it difficult to listen to this - his hand felt stiff in hers.

"What did it say?" he tried to ask offhandedly. Lily found it just as tricky to answer.

"It said…'you give me heart palpitations'."

James looked stunned at this, perhaps even a little disturbed. How could this stranger have said the exact same words he'd said to her, words he had meant from the bottom of his heart? "That seems to be your specialty, eh," he kidded.

"He also… gave me a gift," Lily added quietly. James looked even more uneasy, maybe even angry, yet at the same time self-conscious. Should he have given her more gifts? Was love not enough for her?

"What was it?" he asked dreadfully.

"It was a knife," she revealed.

"A knife?" he repeated frantically, and then it hit. "Oh Merlin, that knife," he remembered that one time in Potions class, "that posh knife you said you bought in Diagon Alley - it was from him, wasn't it?"

Lily covered her mouth with her hand and silently nodded. A sad laugh erupted from James' lips.

"That knife…" A perfect picture of it plagued James' mind. "It was quite fancy, wasn't it? Quite beautiful and expensive. Did you like it?"

Lily didn't know what to say. "I suppose," she told him weakly, "but, James, it's a knife, for Christ's sake. This Prince guy is clearly insane."

"I don't know," he disagreed with her a little. "Maybe he just thought he could buy your affection with presents."

"Yeah, well, it's completely fruitless of him," she insisted, squeezing his hand. He appreciated her saying that. "Since then he's been sending me more letters, basically poems and verse… They've become more frequent as time has passed."

"Hmm." James was beginning to feel jealousy towards the Half Blood Prince and his intellect. "Poetry, eh?" He felt uncomfortable just by saying the word. "Never really liked poetry… Could never do it, it's hard to make words rhyme… Nothing rhymes with orange, you know?"

Lily laughed a little. "I know."

"This Half Blood Prince is a clever bloke," James had to admit. Lily nodded. "Trying to manipulate you into falling for him with gifts and fancy language…" He looked at her closely. "Did it work?"

"Of course not!" she opposed at once. "James, I love you. You don't need to send me, frankly, creepy presents and silly poems to make me feel that."

James looked over the moon. "Thank Merlin you said that," he said breathlessly with a grin.

"There is probably something I should tell you though…"

James turned tense, what more could she be hiding from him? Was it even possible to make the situation worse than it already was?

Apparently so.

"At first, I have to admit I was flattered by the letters…" Lily came clean reluctantly. She could feel James stiffen again. "But then there was this one letter and…" She didn't think she could go on as she hugged her knees. He put his arms around her.

"Hey, you can tell me."

"It's… easier just to show you." Silently, she handed him a small piece of parchment. James was getting really sick of the never-ending notes. "Please, promise me you won't freak out once you've read it."

"This is something I really can't guarantee, Lils."

He opened up the note, not expecting much more than a sappy poem with pompous words he didn't understand. When the four words my knife, your throat stared him hard in the face he looked intently at Lily thinking this was some kind of sick joke. Her solemn face confirmed it wasn't. He hit the roof.

"I'll kill him."

"James, you don't even know who he is."

"I don't care, I'll kill him anyway. I'll kill something… I know, I'll kill Sirius. It's long overdue."

"Don't be ridiculous-"

"This prick is threatening your life, Lily!" James raised his voice. "He wants to put a fucking knife to your throat! This guy needs to be locked up!"

"I know, James. I really don't understand him." She rubbed her forehead in frustration. "After he sent me that he went back to poems and how much I'm apparently the love of his life, as though threatening to kill me never happened."

There was a moment of stillness where James tried to collect his thoughts. He felt slightly angry at himself for not knowing all this had gone on - he'd only recently seen the signs that something was up, and the whole Half Blood Prince nonsense had started from the first day back at Hogwarts. Thinking back to what had happened since they had returned as seventh years, he remembered Lily going to the hospital wing when she felt poorly.

"Lily… that time you went to the hospital wing because you were ill from stress, was it because of this?" He waved the Prince's note. Lily didn't even have to nod; he knew the Half Blood Prince was at fault. "Oh Merlin, Lily," he put his arms around her again and she buried her head in his sadly muddy chest, "this guy has made you ill."

Lily felt herself relax as he stroked her hair; she'd missed his close contact. This was exactly how she wished it had been in the first place instead of him running out of the room, not bearing the sight of her. "What happens now?" she asked softly.

"Everything's gonna be fine, alright?" James reassured her. "I'm here for you now, and no bloody way is this git going to hurt you. I'll sort everything out, don't worry."

Though everything was out in the open now, Lily couldn't help but feel the worst was only yet to come as she clung tighter to James' chest.

---------

The next morning Lily felt a weight lifted off her shoulder now that the secret of the Half Blood Prince was exposed to James, but she still had a bad feeling that something catastrophic would happen soon. It was clear James wanted to find out who her secret admirer was and rip him apart limb from limb. On a positive note, since Lily had confided in her friend Nicole about the notes she'd felt their friendship had been rekindled.

"How are you doing today?" Nicole asked her as she took a seat beside her in Transfiguration.

"Good." Lily felt like smiling more genuinely.

"You talked to James last night?"

"Yeah," Lily got out her books from her bag. "Told him everything." Nicole seemed a little astounded at that.

"And you two are okay?"

This was the moment where Lily fell quiet and paused for a moment. Were they really okay now? Could things really go back to normal after all the secrets and dishonesty? "I don't know…" She watched James on the other side of the classroom laughing with his friends. He seemed fine. "I couldn't sleep in my room last night with all those notes everywhere," Nicole nodded, "So I slept in James' room… He slept on the couch."

Nicole didn't know what to say but a small, "Oh."

"Oh," Lily repeated, just as hollow. "I suppose things are kind of awkward between us…"

Now she didn't feel like smiling genuinely anymore. And when James flashed her a smile from across the classroom, she felt a phony one returning, and she hated herself for doing it.

---------------

It was near dusk and James had taken a customary walk to the beech tree by the Great Lake, except this time he'd taken a much closer look at the tree he was sentimental towards, and he certainly didn't like what he found.

"What the…" His brow knotted as his fingers brushed the scorched bark. 'James and Lily Potter' engraved into the trunk using Sirius' pocket knife was now marked with a fuming cross over it. Who had done it? Surely not Lily… Perhaps the Half Blood Prince? It angered him to no end that this pretentious stranger who considered himself royalty and above all others was walking about the castle, threatening to ruin he and Lily's relationship.

Infuriated, he searched for Sirius' pocket knife in his trousers so he could re-carve over their names, but his heart wasn't really in it. He was sick of it all, sick of all the problems. Why was dating Lily so hard? Relationships shouldn't be this difficult. There was no doubt they loved each other but there were so many obstacles in the way. And one of those obstacles was the Half Blood Prince.

If only he knew who he was. When Lily had slept in his room last night James had gone to her bedroom and taken a closer examination of the notes. It made him squirm to have to read them; read words from a guy who had tried to turn Lily against him. He'd struggled to find any sorts of clues that would lead him to finding the Half Blood Prince's true identity but he found nothing. The Prince was cunning.

Then, without warning, James thought of someone cruelly capable of all this mess, and the person's name was so obvious he felt like hitting himself for not realizing who the Half Blood Prince was before. Of course it was him! It had to be him. There was no other suspect.

James would make him pay.

---------------

Lily had been staring at the fire in the Head Tower when James had barged in through the portrait hole. She swiftly stood up as if he were a teacher entering a classroom full of students; she didn't like the extreme look in his eyes. Something was up. That catastrophic incident she was afraid would happen looked as though it was going to occur now.

"Come on," he seized her hand, "we're going for a walk."

"What?" Her face filled with concern as she followed him and exited the tower. "James, it's dark. Where are we going?" she questioned as they walked through the deathly quiet corridors. The castle seemed so disconcerting at night when the portraits were in slumber and shadows looked liked monsters.

"We're going to have a little chat with this Half Blood Prince and sort everything out."

Immediately, Lily halted and forced James to stop. "What?" She looked him directly in the eyes; he still held that distressing stare. "Are you kidding me? James, you don't even know who he is!"

"Oh, I know who he is," he said firmly. He took hold of her hand again and tried to pull her down the corridor once more, but she refused to move. She didn't even know where he was aiming to go tonight.

"Look, stop it. You're scaring me. Let's just go back and get some sleep-"

"I won't sleep until I do something to that guy!"

"Do what?" she asked distressingly.

"I don't know, Lily! Just… something."

She hugged him hard in the darkness. He seemed cold to her touch at first, but he eventually gave in to her embrace as he rested his head tiredly on her shoulder. "Things are supposed to be better now that I told you but it only feels like it's getting worse," she murmured, upset.

"I'm sorry… I'm just not handing this Half Blood Prince stuff very well, Lily."

"I know." She rubbed his back soothingly. "It's not your fault."

"I hate to break up the moment here," a voice suddenly boomed down the corridor, and the two rapidly broke apart. It was so gloomy it was hard to find the direction of where the voice had come from, candlelight their only guide. "But I believe you're looking for me."

James and Lily squinted as someone stepped out of the shadows.

"I'm the Half Blood Prince."