Disclaimer: (See part I.)
A/N: Wow, I'm finally back! Let madness ensue. Irvine and Zell have been kicked out of the fair, out of the beach, and Irvine had also successfully been kicked out of the hotel. Is there anything that these two troublemakers can't get kicked out of? Will the group continue to hang out with them on their vacation? They will if they remember that Zell was the one who paid for it. And who is the woman with Seifer? Ray, Sam, and a few other characters are fictitious, and I made them up.
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Part 4
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Upon waking, Quistis found that Irvine had already left her room in the hotel, perhaps in fear that a person from room service would come around early.
Quistis shrugged. She was just glad that Irvine didn't get to have the pleasure of seeing her bird nest hair.
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Rinoa blinked her eyes open sleepily to a knock on the door to her room. She sat up and threw the covers off of her scandalous lingerie and quickly covered herself back up. She had forgotten that she was wearing it.
The person outside knocked on the door again.
"Just a second," called Rinoa, frantically searching the room for something suitable to answer the door in. She stood up and ran to the dresser where she had unpacked her cloths, and began tossing her belongings all around the room.
"Rinoa, are you in there?" can Squall's voice.
'Damn him,' Rinoa cursed, and wondered why he always had to show up at the most inconvenient of times.
"I'm coming in," he warned.
"NO!" Rinoa shouted, and raced to the door in an attempt to lock it before the dark haired man could walk in on her again, but it was too late.
Squall walked into the room as if he owned the place and stared at Rinoa's overly sexy outfit. "You're walking around in something like that and you leave the door unlocked?"
Rinoa, not knowing what else to do, stood her ground. "That's none of your business!" she told him, putting her hands on her hips. "Now get out."
"You want me to go? Are you sure you weren't waiting for me to walk in?" asked Squall with honesty.
"Leave!" Rinoa ordered.
Squall flashed her a look of disappointment, but went back out the door, but not before having the last word. "The look is very becoming of you."
Rinoa's face flushed.
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::tap tap:: Zell poked his head out of the bathroom, toothbrush still in mouth, and looked into the main room. 'What was that noise?' he thought.
After assuring himself that there was nothing in his room, Zell went back into the bathroom and continued brushing his teeth.
::tap tap:: Zell immediately stuck his head back out into the main room. Nothing still. He shook his head. 'I'm not crazy. I'm not!' he told himself, and went back to brushing his teeth.
There was another tap in the main room again, and Zell stopped brushing his teeth once again to listen.
The tapping was followed by a squeaking noise and then a loud thump followed by an, "Ooof!"
Zell's eyes widened. Someone had gotten into his room. He panicked and looked for something to use to protect himself from the intruder. He grabbed the soap holder.
Cautiously peeking around the corner, Zell listened again for the noises. He noticed that his window was now open and the curtains were blowing from the breeze outside.
'Maybe the wind from outside caused the window to open by itself,' Zell reasoned.
"HEY ZELL!" the intruder jumped up in front of him.
Zell screamed a feminine-like scream and knocked the intruder on the head with the soap holder. The intruder went down and Zell, upon closer inspection, realized that the intruder was actually Irvine.
Irvine rubbed his aching head and whimpered. "Why do you have to be so rough?"
Zell looked angered. "Rough? I thought you were someone trying to break in here and kill me!"
Irvine thought a moment... Was he there to break in and kill Zell? "NO!" he assured the frightful boy.
Zell sighed with relief. "Then what were you doing climbing in through my window?"
"I found a new place for us to hang out," Irvine said with an evil smirk.
"I dunno," said Zell, "I don't think we should go around making any more trouble..."
"What are you talking about?" asked Irvine, gesturing with his hands. "We're not in trouble... Well, not that much trouble. We're just having fun. Besides, this is our vacation."
Zell looked thoughtfully at Irvine, and Irvine hoped that he was sounding convincing enough to get the shorter boy to follow-through with his next plan of action.
"So are you with me or not? We can get a hot dog on the way," Irvine bribed.
"Hot dogs? I'm in!" Zell agreed without giving Irvine's plot a second chance or thinking about the consequences for a split second. He gave Irvine a high five.
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Irvine and Zell crouched outside a pub as if they weren't supposed to be there, even though they hadn't even done anything... yet.
"This is your plan?" asked Zell. They had come on this little vacation to get AWAY from the pub, not to go back to it.
Irvine looked at Zell with disappointment. "Haven't I taught you anything? A pub is a great place to meet girls!"
"Maybe so, but I don't think they're gonna serve us hot dogs in there, and you promised me a hot dog," Zell reminded.
"Don't worry, you'll get your hot dog."
The two stood up and walked casually into the pub. It was dimly lit, and there were trophy fish hanging on all of the walls. Zell could tell immediately that this wasn't his type of pub. He tapped Irvine's back. "I don't think we should be in here. I'm getting a bad vibe from this place."
A man in the shadows watched them pass by his table in the corner.
"Nonsense," said Irvine, approaching the bar, and taking a seat on the stool. "Two Sylkis," he said to the bar tender.
Zell nervously took a seat beside Irvine. He quickly glanced around the pub. There weren't many people in there with them. Just a bunch of scary looking biker guys with beards and leather. Certainly no girls that would be interested in them. Zell looked to the bar tender and gave him a friendly smile.
The bar tender snared back void of emotion.
Zell pleaded to Irvine again that they should leave, but Irvine wouldn't hear of it.
Irvine downed his drink in a few seconds, while Zell just played with his glass nervously.
A very beautiful biker woman dressed in black leather, whom Zell hadn't noticed when they walked in, came over and sat next to Irvine. "Hey there," she said in a mysterious voice.
"Hey," said Irvine, quickly ordering another drink for the her. "Who might you be?"
She was about to answer him, when Irvine was tapped on the shoulder. He hadn't noticed the man from the corner approaching them. Irvine turned around to find a big biker man standing behind him, also in black leather. His facial hair was like Santa Clause's. He also wore a bandanna and frown.
"Just who do you think you are, buying my girlfriend a drink?" he asked Irvine.
Zell watched the scene nervously as the man rolled up his sleeves to reveal sleeve tattoos of tigers and dragons and naked women.
The bar tender came over now. "Hey you two, take it outside or I'll call the cops."
The biker man snarled at Irvine, and looked like he was going to let him off the hook. Then he punched Irvine in the jaw, nearly knocking him off his chair. Irvine rubbed his face and stood up.
"C'mon," coaxed the biker. "Let's see what you got."
The bar tender was on the phone.
Irvine pushed the biker backward. Apparently the biker hadn't been expecting this, and he went flying several feet until a table broke his fall. The table exploded into splinters. Irvine looked back at the woman who was rushing toward him. He smiled, thinking that he had won this round, but she passed him and went to the biker's side. Irvine frowned.
She helped her boyfriend up off the broken table, and he promptly came back at Irvine with fists flying.
Irvine ducked out of the way and searched the room for Zell, only to find that his backup had already made his escape. He turned back to the biker who now had several other burly-looking guys behind him. Knowing that he couldn't win a fist fight against several biker men alone, Irvine dashed out the door.
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Rinoa knocked on Squall's door. She was getting bored of sitting in her room, waiting for one of the gang to come over and tell her where they were going. It was time to take action. She had already tried knocking on Zell's, Selphie's, and Quistis' doors, but they weren't there. If she had any other choice she would not be knocking on Squall's door after their last episode, but she was out of options.
"Just a minute," Squall called from within.
Rinoa waited a second. He never waited for her answer the door, wasn't it only fair for her to walk in on him, too? She turned to door knob. The door was unlocked. 'He's just asking for it,' she thought, walking into Squall's room.
Inside, 'Waltz of the Sugarplum Fairies' was playing, and Squall was in the middle of doing a ballet leap toward the door to answer it. He caught sight of Rinoa at the height of his jump and the rest was off. He lost his footing on the landing and tripped into Rinoa, knocking them both out into the hallway.
A maintenance woman looked over and shook her head at them. Squall quickly pushed himself off of Rinoa and looked up to see Zell, who had been standing silently behind Rinoa the entire time waiting to talk to him.
"I'm a little worried about those ballet moves, buddy," said Zell, patting him on the back and walking past the two on the floor, into the room.
Squall blushed and helped Rinoa up. "What are you two doing here?"
Rinoa looked angry. "I came to see you, because everyone else has left and didn't even tell me what the plans for today were!" She pointed at Zell. "I don't know what he's doing here."
"You gotta help me!" said Zell desperately. "Irvine and me went to a bar and he started talking to this girl, who happened to be the girlfriend of a scary biker guy with tattoos, and now Irvine's probably crushed on the pavement somewhere! What are we going to do?" he wailed.
"Calm down, Drama Queen," said Rinoa. "He's probably fine."
"He's probably dead," said Squall. He dodged Rinoa's shoe that she threw at him, which nearly made a dent in the hotel wall behind him.
"This trip was such a bad idea," said Zell, close to tears. "Nothing is going right."
"Don't beat yourself up, Zell. I've had lots of fun." Rinoa smiled at him. "And Selphie and Quistis are having lots of fun with those guys they met. Don't let it bring you down if Irvine doesn't appreciate the trip as much as the rest of us."
"No, it's not that," said Zell with a sniffle. "I think he's enjoying it too much. I think we should leave tomorrow. Head back to Balamb, and get jobs. Besides, my savings are running low."
"Well, if that's what you want, Zell."
Zell nodded. "You guys can stay if you want, but you'll have to pay for yourselves after tonight."
Rinoa shook her head hastily. "No, we'll come with you." Neither she, nor Squall had enough to pay for another night at the hotel. "But let's at least do what we came here to do."
Zell tilted his head to the side in question. "Eat hot dogs?"
Squall crossed his arms. "Stay indoors?"
"NO!" said Rinoa. "We came to go to the fair, so let's go back there one last time."
"Maybe you don't remember a certain incident that happened where I got kicked out off the fair grounds, but that doesn't mean that the security guard has forgotten," Zell reminded.
"You'll be fine," Rinoa said confidently. "All you need is a disguise."
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Quistis and Ray were walking along the path at the fair grounds that led past all the games. Ray had somehow managed to score Quistis several medium-sized stuffed chocobos, a large stuffed PuPu, and one huge stuffed Jumbo Cactuar, which Ray was carrying for her. Beside them were Sam, empty handed, and Selphie with a sour-puss pout on her face. Sam had tried desperately to win something for Selphie, but was having no luck.
They stopped at the balloon popping booth for the third time. Sam paid the ticket man another 100 gil for three darts, and made a promise to Selphie that he would win something for her this time for sure.
"It's easy," Ray encouraged. "Just focus on the balloon you want to hit."
Sam threw the dart, which bounced off a balloon and hit the ground. The balloon bounced up and down as if mocking him.
"Almost. Maybe a little harder this time," suggested Quistis.
Sam threw the second dart at the wall of balloons. It passed straight through the two balloons that couldn't have been closer together. In all logic, it had to have hit one of them, but there the dart sat, wedged in between the two balloons.
"Last one, Sam," Selphie said through clenched teeth, forcing her snarl into an unnatural smile.
Sam threw the last dart, not really caring where it went.
"HEY!" The dart narrowly missed the ticket man. "Listen, why don't you just give me 500 gil and I'll give you your choice of any one of the small prizes.
Sam looked to Selphie hoping that this would be okay. Selphie had an angry look on her face, and handed Sam another 100 gil from his own wallet to try again.
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Rinoa and Squall walked up to entrance gate to the fair and stood in line behind a woman her son.
"This is such a brilliant plan," Rinoa congratulated herself for thinking up such a conniving scheme.
Squall had his arms crossed and refused to look at Zell who was joining the line behind them.
Rinoa looked over her should at him, smiled, and waved.
Zell was wearing a blond wig, giving him long, curly locks, a long summer dress with sleeves, and sandals. He was also wearing the makeup that Rinoa insisted that he let her put on him for the finishing touches. He actually looked pretty good as a woman if you didn't pay attention to the very muscular arms, or very hairy legs.
"I can't do this," said Zell, about to take off.
"C'mon Zell, this is the only way. No one can tell the difference," Rinoa assured him.
The woman's son standing in line in front of them tugged on his mother's dress, and pointed to Zell. "Mommy, is that man a clown?"
The woman looked at Zell before her eyes widened. Then she looked at Zell disapprovingly and said to her son, "Yes he is."
"Mommy, can I be a clown when I grow up, too?" he asked.
"No." She pulled her son out of the line.
"Where are we going, Mommy?" asked the boy as they walked back to the parking lot.
Rinoa smiled. "What do kids know?" She moved up in line and took the woman's place.
Zell rolled his eyes and left.
"Zell!" Rinoa called after him.
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Quistis, Ray, Selphie, and Sam were on the move once again. Sam had spent well over 500 gil on the balloon popping game and the ticket man had insisted that he take the Creeps puppet and leave. Selphie now pulled the Creeps puppet by the strings through the dirt behind her.
As they were walking, Quistis passed a thick, wooden pole with a poster on it that caught her eye. "Oh my goodness." She stopped walking.
"What's up, Quistis?" asked Selphie, moving over to see the poster.
"Look at this," Quistis pointed at the poster.
"Isn't that your friend from the beach?" asked Ray.
"It's Irvine!" Selphie exclaimed. "Why is his picture on there? This isn't another personals ad is it?"
"It's a Wanted poster," said Quistis. She read the description: "Male, Caucasian, age 19, approximately 6 feet tall, may be armed, considered dangerous, do not approach."
"Did they miss anything?" asked Ray.
"Blood type," said Selphie.
"Nope, they have that here too, 'A'," Quistis read.
"Thorough..." Selphie sounded impressed. "We should take that poster as a souvenir."
Quistis looked around to make sure that no one was looking before pocketing the Wanted poster.
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Zell tossed the dress into the bushes near the gate to the fair. Luckily he was wearing his regular clothes underneath. He tossed the wig into the bushes too, and tried to get his hair to stand up again.
"Hey, Chicken-wuss. What are you doing in the bushes?" asked a familiar voice behind him.
Zell slouched and turned around to look at Seifer and his long-haired girlfriend. "None of your business," he retorted.
Seifer made a face and the woman on his arm chuckled. "Dude, what's with the makeup?"
Zell cursed Rinoa. "I'm trying to get a job as a clown," Zell thought quickly.
"Well that shouldn't be too hard. Let me know if you get the job. I'll want to come back and try the old 'pie in the face' on you."
Zell twitched and tried to remain calm. "Right."
Seifer and the woman walked up to the line. Zell made sure that they had gone in before he joined the line. He would get into the fair, he would just have to avoid the security guard that kicked him out. Possibly the chocobo man as well.
Once Zell had gotten onto the fair grounds successfully he spotted Rinoa and Squall and caught up with them.
Rinoa looked disappointed. "Zell, you got rid of your disguise!"
"But kept the makeup," Squall snorted. "And you were worried about my balletmoves?"
"It's quite a becoming look for you," Rinoa complimented.
"You think so?" asked Zell.
Rinoa nodded.
The group of three made their way to the line for a roller coaster. There were probably over one hundred people in the line, but that had to mean something about the quality of the ride. They waited. And waited... And waited some more.
Zell started humming while they waited. The line moved up a little bit, and then they waited more. Zell started to sing a few lines of mumbled lyrics. "Have you even had a job that you truly despise... dish washin... flippin fries..."
It was about noon and the sun was at it's zenith. Maybe it was the heat, but Zell began to sing and rap at the top of his lungs. "Homies! Homies! Yeah that's my dog!"
"Zell..." Rinoa nudged him. "You're supposed to be under cover. Stop creating a scene!"
Several people in the line were staring at Zell. A kid further up ahead yelled, "Shut up!"
Zell started to bounce in place, singing, or rather, rapping, "And everything is obsolete unless I hear my homies call!"
"Hey, I think I know that," said Squall. "What is that?"
Zell stopped singing, "ICP, man. They're the best."
"IC...P?" Rinoa repeated.
"That's right!" said Squall. "Insane Clown Posse."
Rinoa looked at Squall with a confused expression.
"You know? Homies?"
Rinoa raised an eyebrow.
"The Dead Carnival?"
Rinoa stared at Squall as if her were a complete stranger. "Do I know you? First ballet, now insane clowns?"
"Insane Clown Posse," Zell corrected.
Rinoa blinked. "Whatever."
"Hey." A guard came up behind Zell and tapped him on the shoulder. "Are you the one making all the trouble?"
"Uh..." Zell trailed off.
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To my readers/reviewers: Thanks for reading. What's going to happen to Zell? Where's Irvine hiding out? Find out in the next (and probably final) chappy of FF8 Goes to the Fair. R&R if you have something to say.