Hokay! I feel in the mood to write a crack fic today! And I'm lazy kinda. So, I'm just gonna start off inside the Forest of Death. I don't feel like explaining the rules. Sorry it took so long to update, but I was busy.

SS: Guess what I'd do if I owned Naruto?

Gaara: Which you don't.

SS: Guess.

Gaara: Just tell me.

SS: Fine. I'd make you go into heat and get intimate with Sasuke.

Gaara: What?!? Holy crap, woman! I'm glad Kishimoto still owns me!

SS: Suuure you are. But you can't resist desires of the heart!

Gaara: You're crazy!

SS: On the contrary, my sugar rush died down a while ago. Let's make this quick, my baka dobe whiney little brat-faced sister wants to get on.

Gaara: Thank God.

SS: You're welcome.

Gaara: Ha ha.

Episode 6:

Gaara Trembles

What is Wrong With You?!?

Akamaru lay shaking on the floor of the tower, teammates around him.

"Is he still shaking? He's been at it for half a day already," Shino said, kneeling next to him.

"Poor puppy," Gina said absently.

"Well, you can't blame him. It's because of what he saw," Kiba responded.

..Flashback/Chapter Thingy..

Kiba's team skimmed over the tops of the trees in the forest, Heaven and Earth scrolls in their grasp. Except for Gina, who was hitching a ride on Kiba's back.

"I still don't understand the point of this," Gina said. "It's stupid."

"No it's not!" Kiba answered. "It's a test of strength, courage, bravery and endurance!" he stated proudly.

"Yeah, whatever," Gina said. "Oh, and Emily told me to tell you to stop here and have Hinata look about a kilometer ahead with her Buya… Beeya… Byo… Eye thingy!" she finally said, struggling with the complicated bloodline thingy of the Hyuuga clan. Everyone stopped and landed on a tree branch.

"Okay," Hinata said, putting her hands together. "Byakugan!"

"Oh, that's what it was!" Gina said.

"Yeah, there's someone up there all right," Hinata said, looking through the trees.

Shino bent down and put his ear to the branch. "It sounds like there are… 8 people there," he said, recoiling quickly in a few seconds. "And one of them just deafened me with a sudden burst of insane laughter."

Gina pondered that. "Hmmm… Sounds like…" she suddenly started jumping off towards the aforementioned place. "Emily! I'm coming, buddy!" she yelled into the distance.

"Hey! Wait up!" Kiba yelled, him and his teammates following after her.

When they got there…

Kiba and his team crouched down behind a bush. In front of them stood Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Emily, Nameless Ninja 1, Nameless Ninja 2, Nameless Ninja 3, and Tara.

"What's that guy thinking? He's way too little to take on a guy that big," Kiba said, looking at Gaara and the Nameless Ninja 1, or NN1.

Emily's ears perked up. 'Oh, he did NOT just imply that Gaara is short!' Inner Emily said angrily, although she did stand at 5'1, a full three inches taller than Gaara. In fact, the only human in the scene that was shorter than Gaara was Hinata, who was an inch shorter than he was. Gina was about the same height as him, and Tara was the same height as Temari, about 5'3. Anyway, back to the story.

"Hey Gaara," Kankuro said. "Doesn't it make more sense to follow these punks and gather information first? I mean, if they have the same scroll as us, we're just fighting an unnecessary battle."

"I don't care," replied Gaara. Emily tensed up. "They looked at me the wrong way, so they're gonna die." Emily fell over, squealing and laughing like a maniac. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod!"

"Em!" Tara said. "Are you ok?"

"You know her?" NN1 asked.

"Ummm, can I have a hint?" the dumb blonde asked.

"Never mind!" NN1 said, taking umbrellas out of his backpack jig.

"Ooh, what are you gonna do, protect them from the rain until they dry out?" Tara asked.

"Hahahahaha," Emily said. "Good one, Tar' (A/N: Pronounced Tare.)!"

NN1 threw the umbrellas up into the air. "You idiot! You'll die first! Ninja Art: Senbon Rainstorm!"

A rainstorm of needles came flying down towards her. She ran away screaming, "Help me! Help me Jesus! Help me Oprah Winfrey! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your voodoo to get the needles away from me! GAAAARRRRAAAA!!!" She ran over to Gaara, throwing her arms around him. Then… BOOM! A cloud of dust rose around the two. When the dust settled, there they stood, sand around them, stopping the needles.

Emily breathed a sigh of relief, as NN1, NN2, NN3, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, and Gina had faces slightly resembling this: OO, and Temari and Kankuro had faces like this: OoO, because of the Gaara hug jigger, Emily had a face like this: U, Tara had a face like this: XD, and finally, Gaara had a face like this: :(, except, without the eyebrows, just the general facial expression. (Emily: Oh, let's not take eyebrows into this! A/N: Already did. smirk)

"Is that all you can do?" Gaara said emotionlessly, as Emily squealed loudly again, and clung tighter to him. "And can you get off me now?" Gaara asked Emily.

"Uhh, let's think… nope!" Emily said happily.

"Get off."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

"Haha! Gotcha!" Emily said.

"Yeah, she went Bugs Bunny on your sand-wielding butt!" Tara laughed.

"… I hate you people," Gaara said.

"I love you too!" Emily replied, letting go of him, only to grab onto his leg a second later.

"I think I liked it better when you were hugging me, not my leg," Gaara said.

"Not to interrupt this little love fest of yours, but COULD WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE STORYLINE HERE?" NN1 said angrily, forgotten umbrellas landing in the ground.

Gaara's sand fell slowly to his feet, and he walked up to one of the umbrellas. Well, kinda, if you count the fact that he was dragging a 90 pound preteen along with him. He pulled one of the umbrellas out of the ground, but before opening it, he whacked Emily upside the head with it, making her fall off his leg, holding her head in pain.

"Why you hit so hard?" she said, her words ignored.

Gaara opened the umbrella, holding it over his head.

"Oh! Oh! I know what happens next!" Emily said.

Well, if you know Gaara, my reader, you'll know too. Gaara trapped NN1 in his sand, and raised his hand over his head, palm opened, as NN1 rose up, squirming inside the sand he had been captured with.

"Wow, that's awesome! Bye bye Samuel!" Emily said, waving.

"Samuel?" Tara asked.

"Yeah," Emily said. "I decided to give him a name before he died, since his real one is too long and difficult to pronounce or spell."

"Ah," Tara said.

"… Okayyy… Anyway… Sand Burial!" Gaara said, closing his hand. Blood sprayed everywhere as 'Samuel' was squeezed to death by sand, which is kinda funny when you think about it. Squeezed. To death. By sand. Haha. Enough of that. Anyway, Emily just squealed and fell over, hearts in her eyes, laughing like a maniac. Well, she was a maniac, but whatever.

So NN2 and 3 dropped the scroll, because they're the wussies that they are.

"Haha! You suck, Paul and Chuck!" Emily said, laughing.

"… Die," Was all that Gaara said before killing them, just to get it over with and stuff. Of course, Emily then erupted into another fit of insane fangirl laughter, and Tara ran over to try and help her from suffocating on her own laughs.

Long story short, they got the scroll, and Tara followed them to the tower, which had a surprising lack of security, so she got in anyway. Not like she wanted to be a Chuunin anyway, she just needed to get to the tower.

XDXDXDXDXD

The end 'cause I feel like it, biznitches! HAHA!