Sorry, I was out of town without internet for a few days. Otherwise, I would have written something new. Anyway, I'm glad to see people are enjoying the story. I've got so many great ideas, and for those who are wondering:
YES, every major character in Hellsing will have an interview. Integra, Seras, Walter, Anderson, et cetra. While this follows the manga, good ol' Incognito will show up eventually. That should be an interesting chapter...
Thanks for reading this story, and I hope you enjoy the rest of it!
Anderson laughed maniacly as he hurled his foe across the room. Alucard was on the losing end of this fight, and he was enjoying it. As Alucard attempted to get up off the ground, Anderson planted his right foot firmly on his back and pinned him to the ground. He twirled his swords in his hands, then smirked. "Any last words?" he asked his foe before he delivered the death blow. Alucard looked up at his enemy, and smiled. He replied-
"ANDERSON, WAKE UP!" Maxwell's voice roared in his ears.
-----
Anderson opened his eyes and looked around. He was behind his desk at the Section 13 HQ, with his chair leaned back and his feet propped up on the desk. Apparently he had dozed off. Maxwell was standing beside him, and he appeared to be rather stressed out. "Eh... What can I do fer ye, boss?" Anderson smiled meekly.
"You can get up and get ready for our little trip," Maxwell replied in an agitated tone.
"Trip?" Anderson put his feet on the floor and stood up. He stretched out his arms and popped his neck. Sleeping in an uncomfortable chair was not good for your joints, but being a regenerator that was no serious problem. "Wha' trip?"
"I need to go to a meeting. Everyone else is busy, so I need you to come with me," Maxwell was hurridly putting on a jacket and hat.
"Okay boss, let me get my-" Anderson reached for his bayonet-ladden jacket, but Maxwell interupted him.
"Leave it, you won't need it! We need to hurry!" Maxwell grabbed him by the hand and started to drag him away.
"Okay, boss..." he replied, sneakily plucking a bayonet from the coat's pocket and slidding it into his priest robes.
-----
"Get in," Maxwell pointed at the limo as they entered the garage. Anderson nodded his head and walked over to the passenger side. "What are you doing?" Maxwell raised an eyebrow. Anderson shot him a funny look. "I need you to drive!"
"Errr... Boss, I can't," Anderson shrugged.
"Beg pardon?" Maxwell croaked.
"I don't have a license," he informed his boss.
"What?!" Maxwell roared.
"Why do you think I always ride trains?" the priest smiled.
Maxwell slapped his hand over his eyes. "You've got to be joking..." he growled. "Okay!" he threw his hands up in the air. "Do you know how to drive?"
"Oh yes, boss!" Anderson answered. "Quite well! I just don't have a-"
"It doesn't matter! I don't need to be late!" Maxwell threw open the doors to the limo and dove inside.
"Okaaaaay..." Anderson sighed. "Yer funeral..."
-----
"So where are we going?" Anderson asked as he adjusted the rear-view mirror.
"I have a meeting with the Pope," Maxwell replied as he buckled his seat belt in the back seat.
"Oooooh..." Anderson appeared to be quite nervous. "The Pope?"
"Yes, His Holyness himself. DON'T blow this for me," Maxwell pointed threateningly at him.
"Yes, boss," Anderson nodded his head. He looked down at the GPS system in the dashboard. Thankfully, it had directions on how to get to their destination. Perhaps this would work out fine. As Anderson cranked up the engine, he smiled. There was no reason to worry. Those past experiences had just been bizarre accidents. It wasn't really his fault...
-----
"How much longer?" Maxwell glanced nervously at his watch.
"Just a few more blocks, sir," Anderson replied. They'd been driving for several minutes now, and so far there had been no problems. And it gave Anderson a chance to enjoy the sights. He rarely had time to look around the city, and now he was able to-
Anderson's eyes caught sight of something quite amiss. Standing on the street corner up ahead was a man in black. He was wearing all sorts of strange clothing and was quite pale. (A/N: He's a goth... Don't blame me if you are one yourself. I just figured this would be a funny situation...)
"ABOMINATION!!!!" Anderson screamed. He slammed his foot down on the gas pedal, shifted the limo into it's highest gear, and laughed as the car tore through traffic.
"HUH!? WHAT?!" Maxwell looked around wildly. "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
THUNK-THUNK! THUNK-THUNK!
Maxwell turned horribly pale.
"Got him!" Anderson smirked. "Bloody monsters..."
Maxwell looked behind him. Some poor black-clad man was sprawled out in the street. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" Maxwell screamed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"I ran over a vampyre..." Anderson shrugged. "I figured it would be stupid to pass up on a good chance to-"
"IT WAS A GOTHIC PUNK!" Maxwell roared in anger. "YOU RAN OVER A BLOODY HUMAN!"
"Honest mistake," Anderson shrugged.
"Ugh!" Maxwell sighed. He clasped his head between his hands and shook it. "J-Just don't do it again!" he stammered.
"No problem, boss. Just a few more blocks, and then we-" Anderson fell silent.
"What?" Maxwell leaned forward. Walking on the sidewalk up ahead was a man with another punk guy. This one had a purple mohawk and waaaaay too much jewelry for a guy. "Anderson, no! He's a human! Not a-"
"HERETIC!!!!!" Anderson floored it.
"WHAT?!" Maxwell screamed. The guy turned around just as the limo jumped the curb and sped along the sidewalk. Sure enough, the guy had an upside down cross hanging around his neck.
THUMP-THUNK!
The limo plowed into the guy, sending him onto the hood, off the glass, and over the roof. Anderson swerved back onto the road. "Got him..."
-----
"Ah, good evening Your Holyness," Maxwell bowed as the Pope stepped into the car. Anderson politely held the door open for the leader of the Catholic Church.
"Good evening to you as well, Father Maxwell," the Pope smiled. Anderson closed the door and headed back to his door. A few minutes later, they were driving down the street without a problem. The Pope and Maxwell were discussing certain matters, and Anderson had gotten control over his "road rage" problems. It only took 7 other hit-and-run accidents to do it...
"I assure you, Father Anderson is my best operative," Maxwell informed the Pope. "He is intelligent, level-headed, and has good self control."
No sooner had the words left his mouth than had Anderson screamed out "DAEMON!!!!!"
SKEERRRRRRRRRRK-THUMP-KRASH!!!!
Maxwell and the Pope screamed as a young woman crashed through the windshield of the limo.
"WHAT THE BLOODY-" Maxwell caught himself before swearing in front of the Pope. "WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?!"
"She's a vampire," Anderson pointed at the lifeless corpse stuck in the passenger side of the windshield. "I saw here trying to bite some poor lad."
"ANDERSON, YOU FOOL! SHE WAS PROBABLY JUST MAKING OUT WITH SOME-" Maxwell stopped yelling at Anderson and began to scream incoherantly when the woman sprang to life. She clawed visciously into the backseat, her red eyes glowing with malicious intent. "KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL KILL KILL!!!!!!!!"
"RAAAAHHHH!!!!" she hissed as she clawed at the Pope, who leaned back to avoid the monster's claws.
SHLUNK!
The vampire screamed as Anderson stabbed her in the back with the bayonet he snuck with him. She exploded into a cloud of dust and ash. Maxwell continued to scream, of course. "Er... it's dead, boss," Anderson picked the bayonet up off the passenger seat.
"Ehhhhh..." Maxwell nervously looked over at the Pope.
"Well, I can see why he is your best operative," the Pope dusted his sleeves off. "It takes a highly skilled person to be able to pick out an abomination on the street, corner it, and then cleanse the world of it's darkness. You shall recieve much recognition for this, Father Anderson."
"Thank ye," Anderson bowed his head. Without a sound, Maxwell fell limply back into his seat as he feinted.
THE END!
How did you like it? Too bizarre? I thought it was pretty funny...
Next time will be another interview, and after that either another interview or a chapter about the Vampire Physiologist!