Happy New Year! It is 2007, and we're all another year closer to Doomsday! Sorry, had to find something stupid to say...

Anyway, I hope you all had a great Christmas and a good New Year.

H was sitting behind his desk, his head stuck in a book. After a few minutes, he looked over the brim of the book and stared at the camera. "Oh... Right... Is it time for another chapter already? Alright..." he opened a drawer and put the book inside it. "I suppose I'll do another interview," he mused as he removed his little notepad from the drawer. "Who will it be today... I've got it. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Integra Hellsing!" H clapped his hands together.

Integra Hellsing appeared on the couch next to H's desk, a look of confusion on here face. "Oh no, Alucard was right..."

"Hello, and welcome to the story!" H greeted her.

"This is another sorry excuse for a fan fiction isn't it?" Integra pointed an accusatory finger at H.

"Ouch! Hey now, I haven't said anything rude to you yet!" H retorted.

"I can already tell you that this is going to be a fiasco!" Integra frowned.

"Sheesh, you're not nice!" H exclaimed.

"I hate being dragged into these things..." she explained. "I'm not fond of bad writer's either."

"Bad writers?" H sounded hurt. "What gives you the impression that I am a bad writer?"

"You're hiding behind a mask," Integra pointed at his gas mask.

"Maybe I'm just butt ugly," H replied sarcastically.

"And Alucard said-" Integra was interupted before she could finish that sentence.

"Say that again slowly. Alucard said what? Since when does anything he say have validity or actual purpose?" H leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"Errr..." Integra considered what H said for a moment.

"Right, well, moving on..." H waved his hands in the air. "I'm going to ask you some questions, you will hopefully answer them, and then you can go home."

Integra raised an eyebrow and surveyed him for a second. "That is all?"

"Yep," H replied. "Just don't try to kill me. Alucard did, so we had to cut our interview short. Anyway, lets get on with the questions..." he flipped through the pages of his notebook.

"Go ahead..." Integra sighed.

"What is your name?" H asked.

"Integra Hellsing," she replied.

"What is your quest?" he asked.

"To destroy all vampires in the name of God, Queen, and Country," Integra stated proudly.

H paused. "What is..."

"My favorite color?" Integra smiled. "I have seen this movie."

"The capitol of Assyria?" H had hoped to catch her off guard, but Integra just laughed.

"Ninevah," she answered. H stared at her silently, suprised that she had answered the question right. "What do I win?"

"Absolutely nothing," he shrugged. "I'll give you a box of donuts later, though..."

"I suppose that is alright..." Integra replied. "Next questions?"

"How long have you been in charge of Hellsing?" H asked.

"10 years," Integra answered.

"And you have known Alucard for 10 years as well?" H flipped through the notebook.

"Yes..." Integra had a feeling this was about to go in a direction she didn't want.

"Do you have any feelings for Alucard?" H scribbled something down.

"Excuse me?" Integra raised an eyebrow.

"What? Do you have any feelings for him? You know, like..." H thought for a second. "Is it only Master and Servant feelings, or does it go much deeper than that?"

"You're bloody mad!" Integra was obviously not interested in answering the question.

"Sorry, sorry..." H tried to calm her down. "I didn't realize it was a touchy subject," he chuckled.

"Excuse me?!" Integra was getting mad.

"Haha... On to the next question... Um... Don't take this the wrong way..." H warned her. "Why do you wear a suit?"

"I dunno," Integra smiled. "But it suits me perfectly."

"Oho!" H exclaimed. "Nice one!"

"Thank you," she looked at the notebook H was holding. "What do you have in there?"

"Questions," he replied. "Questions for each person I am going to interview."

"Hm..." Integra didn't really care. "Any more questions?"

"Why do you smoke so much?" H asked.

"I live with 2 vampires, a death-dealing butler, and an army of mercenaries," she replied smuggly. "Wouldn't you need a stress reliever?"

"I suppose so," H shrugged. "Do you love your job?"

"Yes," Integra answered.

"Do you love God?"

"Yes."

"Do you love England?"

"Yes."

"Do you love Alucard?"

"WHAT?!"

"Sorry, had to try it!" H laughed.

"You are getting on my nerves..." Integra growled.

"Am I that much worse than Alucard?" H asked.

"No, not really..." she commented.

"Now for a doozy of a question," H flipped vigorously through his notebook. "Integra Hellsing..."

"Yes?" Integra arched her brow.

"What on earth was up with you and Seras during the dinner scene?" H cocked his head to the side and waited for an answer.

"Beg pardon?" Integra's eyebrow went even higher.

"You know, the whole 'Oops, I cut my finger!' scenario. What was going on there?" H was smirking beneath his mask. He was determined to mess with her head.

"Uh..." Integra blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

H stared at her silently. He then snapped his fingers, and a copy of the 4th volume of the Hellsing manga appeared in his hands. "Gimme a sec..." he flipped through the pages quickly. "Aha!" he handed the open book to her. "Where you of sane mind during this situation?"

"What the heck is this?" Integra stared at the book.

"You putting in Seras in an awkward position, from the looks of it..." H shrugged.

"No, I mean what is this book? Why is it about my organization!?" she flipped through it quickly.

"Um..." H thought for a second. "Are you sure it is about your organization?"

"The name of the book is 'Hellsing'!" she held it in front of his face.

"Um... NEXT!" he grabbed the book out of her hands and snapped his fingers. In a flash of light, she was gone. "Well, that was fun... Who's next?"

Next time... Seras Victoria gets interviewed.