Time for another interview! I'm going to shoot for the impossible and attempt to write three chapters today. Will I succeed? Highly unlikely... But I will write at least 2 unless something bizarre happens to me. Which is quite often, actually...

H's office was back to its normal self. The desk, the sofa, and the camera were back in their normal places. "Oh, hi there!" H waved at the camera with his left hand. His right arm was in a sling, and he had a neck brace on, which did not look comfortable with the gas mask and helmet he was also wearing. Apparently, Alucard had caught him eventually. "It is time for another interview!" H exclaimed. "Today's guest..." he picked up the notebook on his desk, "Walter C. Dornez! OUCH!" H yelped in pain when he tried to raise his right arm to clap his hands. "Uh..." he tried to think of something. "Well, this isn't good..." After a few seconds, he began to slap his left hand on the top of the desk.

Whack! Whack! Whack!

After several minutes, the only thing he had accomplished was destroying any intact bone tissue left in his left hand. "Oooowwwww..." H groaned. "Great, now I have a broke arm and a destroyed hand. I can't do the cool teleporty thingy now. I can't even use the phone and ask Walter to come here!" H complained to nobody in particalar. "I need an assistant..."

-----

"So what makes you think you are qualified to work for me?" H politely asked the person seated in front of him. Only an hour since he had jokely suggested it, and already he had several possible workers.

"Simple!" Jan Valentine was seated opposite from H. He jumped to his feet and explained, "I'm skilled in the martial arts of KICKING PEOPLE'S-"

CLUNK!

A trap door opened in the floor, Jan dissappeared into its dark abyss. "Next..." H grumbled.

-----

"What makes you so qualified to work for me?" H raised an eyebrow at the next person who wanted the job of being his assistant.

"I'm everyvhere and novhere," smirked the cat-hybrid Nazi seated in front of him.

"Schrodinger, right?" H looked at the job application on the desk. He couldn't pick it up with his hands, so he had to move it with a stick tied to the chin of his gas mask. After several awkward attempts to move it closer, H gave up. "Urgh... It says here that you are a Warrant Officer in Millenium?"

"Ja!" Schrodinger nodded his head.

"I'm not fond of Nazis..." H replied coldly, "But you don't seem like too much of a problem. I suppose I can-"

Knock knock knock!

"Huh?" H looked over at the door. "Somebody is at the door... Would you mind answering that?"

"No problem!" Schrodinger jumped to his feet and walked over to the door. H suddenly realized who might be at the door.

"Wait, Schrodinger, don't open that-" H didn't warn him in time. The moment he opened it, Schrodinger was dragged out the door, and it slammed behind him. H shook his head as he listened to his screams of terror. "Fangirls..." he sighed sadly. "Fangirls..."

-----

"Can you explain to me why you are qualified to work for-" H froze. He realized who was sitting in front of him.

"Boo!" Alucard smirked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" H screamed as Alucard dove at him.

-----

It had been a horrible day for H. He had killed one possible employee, lost one to rabid fangirls, and the third had tried to kill him. He had almost succeeded, too. H was now laying on the sofa, completely wrapped in a full body cast. Only the red lenses of his goggles were visable through the bandages. "This... sucks..." H grumbled.

The door opened, and H heard footsteps. Unfortunately, he couldn't move enough to see who it was. "Hello? Who's there?" No answer. The footsteps grew closer. "Hello?" The footsteps stopped. H sat there in the silence, his pulse quickening as he waited to see who is was. Was Alucard back to finish the job? Did Jan Valentine want revenge? Did he owe an overdue movie or something?

"Boo!" Walter suddenly leaned his face down in front of H. H screamed. "Sorry, did I actually scare you?"

"Yes," H mumbled meekly. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm here for my interview," Walter replied.

"Not for the job, I hope," H chuckled.

"No, Integra said I should come down here since I was most likely the next person to be interviewed by "the crazy guy in kevlar", as she put it," Walter smiled.

"Oh, well in that case, take a seat over t-" H was interuped by Walter, who placed a piece of paper on his chest. "Eh?"

"Those are my answers to the usual questions you ask," Walter smirked.

"Walter C. Dornez... Blue..." H painfully leaned his head up enough to read it. "Great, you outsmarted me... Want a cookie?"

"I have already had my fill of the donuts you sent with Seras," Walter politely answered, "And Integra thanks you for them."

"No problem..." H shrugged. "Ow!"

"Is that all you need?" Walter raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," H answered, "I'm too hurt to give a good interview... You may leave."

"As you wish," Walter bowed and walked away.

"See ya," H bid him farewell. He listened to the footsteps, the door opening and then closing, and then the silence. "Phew... This day couldn't have gone worse..."

"Are you sure about that?" Alucard's voice leered from behind the sofa.

"Uh oh..." H mumbled.

I couldn't think of much to ask Walter, and I wanted a chapter about H getting an assistant. So I mixed them together... Next time: I dunno...