Yay! People like my Bleach story! And due to the success of this story, once I'm almost done with it, I will make a Bleach one! Yes, Agent HUNK will be interviewing and torturing the cast of Bleach eventually. But until then, I've got some vampires and Nazis to screw with!
Oh, and check my profile for pictures of Agent HUNK. I finally got them working...
No suprise, I still don't own Hellsing and/or Resident Evil.
One more thing! Heinkel and Yumiko are based off their Crossfire personas in this chapter! I haven't read volume 6, and I like the Crossfire Heikel and Yumiko...
On with the show!
"Soooo..." H ran his hand through his hair and leaned back in his chair behind his desk. His office was back to interview form, and he was back in his body armor and kevlar. He didn't have his mask or helmet on, though. He liked being able to see things in a color other than red. "What's on the agenda for today?"
"Vell, boss..." Narbe was sitting on the sofa, his eyes focused on a clipboard in his hands, "Ze rezults are in."
"So is good ol' Al Anderson the father of Seras Victoria?" H leaned forward, intent to know the truth.
"Vellllllll..." Narbe looked up and frowned. "Nein."
"Huh?" H raised an eyebrow. "But... the manga, man! The manga!"
"Well, it says he isn't her father. He IS related though," Narbe informed him.
"How?!" H exclaimed.
"He's her uncle!" Narbe handed H the clipboard.
"What?!" H grabbed it and stared at the papers on the clipboard. "His brother... Father Andrew... her mom... Sarah Victoria... WHAT THE HECK!?"
"Beats me," Narbe shrugged. "I figured he was her father, too."
"That's a bit of a let down..." H tossed the clipboard over his shoulder. "But it is still a bit disturbing. He tried to kill his neice!"
"Talk about a dysfuntional family," Narbe grinned.
"Well, I've got to do an interview, so you'd best go find something to do for awhile..." H waved him off.
"Okay, boss..." Narbe stood up and walked over to the door.
"Oh!" H jumped to his feet. "I know! Pull some strings with Millinium. I want an STG-44 Assault Rifle!" (A/N: The gun Narbe used in Volume 5 against Alucard.)
"Ja, no problem," Narbe told him as he walked out the door.
"Yay!" H clapped his hands in joy.
A sudden flash of light made him jump. Turning around, H found himself staring down the barrel of a large caliber pistol. "Ver are ve?" Heinkel Wolf glared at him over the rims of her sunglasses.
"Heinkel, don't be so rude!" Yumiko Tagaki whined behind her.
"Woah, that wasn't supposed to happen..." H muttered.
Heinkel's eyes widened in shock as it dawned on her that she was holding a gun in "Father Anderson's" face. "TUT MIR LEID!" she gasped, lowering her weapon. "I'm sorry, Father!"
"Huh?" H raised an eyebrow. (A/N: People do that a lot in this story, don't they?)
"Vait..." Heinkel narrowed her eyes, then shoved the gun back into H's face. "You aren't ze Father!"
"Heinkel, no!" Yumiko pleaded. "Don't shoot him!"
"He kidnapped us, and he is impersonating Father Anderson!" Heinkel barked over her shoulder.
"Achtung!" H growled. "Put down the gun, frauline."
Heinkel glared at H. "I'd advise you to stay quiet, heathen."
"Heathen?" H yelped indignantly. "Heathen?!"
"Hm?" Heinkel raised an eyebrow. (A/N: See?)
"I don't care if you threaten my life, shove a gun in my face, insult me personally," H growled angrily, "But don't you DARE insult my religeon!"
"I think you struck a nerve," Yumiko pointed out meekly.
"Er..." Heinkel took a small step back. "Und vat religeon vould you happen to follow?"
"Christianity," H replied with a smile.
"Catholicism?" Heinkel asked.
"No, Protestant. Baptist, to be precise," H smiled. Heinkel stared at him for a few seconds. Then she cocked the hammer of her revolver into the firing postition. "Eh!?"
"Okay, so you're a Heretic instead of a Heathen," Heinkel shrugged. "Zat is worse, actually."
"Heinkel, don't shoot him! He seems nice! He didn't really do anything that bad!" Yumiko pleaded.
"Yeah, what did I do to you?" H asked meekly.
"You kidnapped us!" Heinkel growled.
"That was an accident!" H exclaimed. "You're going to shoot me over an accident? What kind of Christian attitude is that?!"
"You're still a Heretic," Heinkel shrugged.
"Didn't God say "Judge not others, lest ye be judged yourself." in the Bible? I think you should let me live, and allow God to do the judging," H explained calmly. Heinkel stared at him, and slowly lowered her gun. "Thank y-"
BLAM!!!
H stared at Heinkel, his eyes wide in shock and terror. Yumiko shrieked, and Heinkel blinked dumbly. She held the smoking pistol near her face, and then looked down at the hole in the center of H's chest. "Tut mir leid?"
"Not cool..." H grimaced. He then fell backwards onto the floor limply.
"Heinkel, why did you do that?!" Yumiko yelled.
"My finger slipped!" Heinkel exclaimed.
"You shot the poor guy!" Yumiko pointed at H.
"Vat happened?!" the door flew open, and Narbe ran in. Heinkel and Yumiko stared at the Waffen-SS soldier, and a tense silence followed. Narbe then looked down at H's body and gasped. "Boss!"
"Um..." Heinkel started to creep towards the door. "I'll be going now..."
"Me too..." Yumiko followed her friend's example.
"Vat happened here?!" Narbe yelled.
"It was an accident!" Heinkel yelled as she ran out the door.
"Yeah!" Yumiko did the same.
"Zis isn't good..." Narbe looked down at his dead employer.
H opened his eyes and smirked. "I'm wearing a Kevlar bullet proof vest, remember?"
"You're alive!" Narbe exclaimed.
"To a point..." H frowned. "I think I died a little on the inside."
"Did they hurt your feelings or something?" Narbe asked.
"No, the bullet went through the vest a little," H chuckled. "I think it's stuck in a rib..."
"Zats..." Narbe stared at his boss, "Disturbing... Greatly disturbing..."
"I know, call a Doctor..." H clutched his bleeding chest.
"Don't worry, I know just who to call!" Narbe ran out of the room.
"Great!" H smiled. However, his smile faded quickly. "Wait... uh oh..."
Talk about a fiasco... Next chapter: The real Doctor is in!