-The Pros and Cons of Breathing-

Suddenly the weight of everything seemed to come crashing down on Peyton. Here she was, sitting in Dr. Bell's office, next to Brooke who was holding her hand. Waiting for what seemed like hours, she was soon going to find out her fate. The stress of the whole thing was getting to her and she felt herself begin to panic. Noticing that her breathing was coming in shorter, uneven gasps, Brooke immediately crouched in front of her calming Peyton down.

"Hey, hey, calm down Goldilocks. Come on, you're okay, breathe, just take nice deep breaths. That's it, you're okay, breathe."

"I'm okay, I'm okay, sorry. I just kind of freaked, it's like just now sinking in how serious this all is."

"Well no time like the present I guess."

As Brooke was sure Peyton had settled down and was now much calmer, she sat back in her chair next to Peyton. Waiting there holding hands, in front of the desk with the name plate of Dr. Bell, deafening silence was all around. As if on cue, the door opened and in walked the doctor herself.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. How are we doing today ladies?"

"We're okay, we've certainly been better, but we're fine."

Peyton shot Brooke a knowing glance that held both a scold and a smirk in one, not quite sure if her little statement had double meaning, though she would bet almost anything it did. Brooke only smiled back in response, clearly giving herself away.

"Yes well that's understandable. As I told Brooke on the phone yesterday Peyton, we have gotten your test results back and we do have a definitive diagnosis for you."

"So, how bad is it?"

"It's very manageable. You don't have cancer, which would have been in the worst case category. What you have is filed somewhere closer to best case I would say. Addison's disease, which you have, is a rare condition that develops when the adrenal glands don't function properly. All of your symptoms, the weakness, weight loss, nausea, are all indicative of Addison's. Also emotional distress is a big one which I don't mean to be rude but I picked up that maybe there was a little more you weren't exactly forthcoming with, which I can understand. But I will need to know if you've experienced anything of the sort in order to properly treat you."

"Right, sorry, she didn't want me telling you. Peyton?"

"I thought I was going crazy. Let's just say I was seeing someone who wasn't there and we had some pretty in depth conversations during our encounters."

"Okay, hallucinations are understandable. And you are certainly not crazy."

"So, how did I get this, I mean how did it happen or whatever?"

"Well what it means is that you're adrenal gland is failing, or not working properly. This can be caused by a problem with your body's immune system, by infection, injury, even tumor. You have no tumor so it would be fairly safe to assume at some point in the last year you contracted an infection of some sort that either weakened your immune system to the point of adrenal gland failure, or something similar. If I were to guess, and I don't mean to judge here, you developed Addison's sometime while you were using. The time line fits, and with all the other symptoms, it's a rather safe bet. But exactly how you got it, we may never know."

"So it's my fault I'm sick, great. This is just great."

"No, Peyton, it's not your fault. You got sick, that is just a thing of nature. You may not have been able to avoid this if you tried. Just because it happened at that time in your life doesn't mean your using or anything you did during that time had anything to do with it."

"She's right Peyt; you didn't do this to yourself. And she's going to be okay right? You said she would be fine on the phone."

"Yes. Addison's disease is completely manageable. You will have to take medicine for the rest of your life for the adrenal glands to function properly, but once treatment is started, most people lead very healthy lives. This isn't a death sentence or by any means a handicap."

"Okay, so I just have to take meds and I'll be okay?"

"Basically yes. I will give you further information before you leave for you to read over. The way this has most affected you over the last year has most likely been in the stress department. One of the functions of the adrenal glands is to release a hormone that helps you deal with stress from various sources. You could have possibly already had this even before you hit a bump in the road. So as your body tried to deal with the stress, it couldn't properly, that's one of the reasons why emotional distress is such an occurrence. It's more of a manifestation of the effects. Your body can't properly cope, so other things tend to get thrown off balance."

"So she really is going to be okay?"

"Yes, she will be. Once the treatment starts to take effect, the symptoms should clear completely."

"That's good news then."

"Yes, Peyton, this is good news. Do you mind if I ask, more out of curiosity, what were your emotional distress symptoms?"

"Oh, well, I was, uh, it was Brooke."

"Sorry, I don't follow."

"One night, I was high off my ass, and I think I was walking aimlessly around my house or something, and there she was, standing in front of me. I knew she wasn't real, one because she had left, and two, most of the things she said, Brooke would never say. So yeah, I've been haunted by faux-Brooke for the better part of the past year."

"Hmm. Interesting. Well, like I said, I was curious. It's somewhat ironic though, if you don't mind me being so forward."

"It's okay, I think my pride and dignity preserve factors have pretty much gone out the window for the day."

"Well, what I mean is, okay first I should probably make sure you two are in fact a couple in case I was totally wrong and then this will really be out of line."

"No, it's okay. Peyton and I are together. I mean I've only been back in her life for like two weeks after almost a year and half, but we cleared the air surrounding what happened and we know how we feel about each other. So unless you have any objections Peyt, I think it's safe to say we're girlfriends."

Peyton nodded in the affirmative and gave a soft simile to Brooke.

"So, as I was saying. I find it kind of ironic, that from what I gather, you two were in love with each other, but couldn't admit it and then had your fallout. Then when you are hurting so much, the person that brings you out of your darkness is also the one who it was rooted in. Sure, you blamed yourself for everything, and the guilt alone is probably what made Brooke be the one you saw, but it's sort of poetic in a way that she was the only one who could bring you out that place, even though there was so much pain in your heart surrounding her."

"I see what you mean. It's always been Brooke, she's always been there for me, so I guess it only makes sense that it would still be her even if it wasn't really."

"Oh, before I forget. I was a psychology minor in med school so I sometimes treat my patients in that aspect too. If you ever feel like the two of you might need more help working through the past, I'm here for that as well. The emotional distress aspects of Addison's can sometimes have lasting effects depending on what they are. I've decided to stay in Tree Hill with this practice, and unless you want to continue with your regular doctor when he gets back, I will be overseeing your treatment."

"Thank you Dr. Bell, we appreciate everything. And even though I've know you for like a week, I already like you a hell of a lot better than my regular guy, so I think I'll stick with you. If I feel like I need more help in the uh, 'crazy' department, or if Brooke here thinks I do and makes me, then I will see you for that too and I will be honest form here on out, for all of our sakes."

"Agreed, you two take care now. The receptionist will have the materials you need along with your prescriptions and anything else. I need to see you back here in two weeks to check in so you can make that appointment on your way out. You're going to be fine Peyton, I'll see you then."

The girls left the office in much higher spirits than when they came in. Sure, Peyton would be somewhat sick for the rest of her life, but if she took the medicine she would be relatively healthy from now on as well. Despite everything else, things appeared to be finally looking up for both Peyton and Brooke.

"So what do we do now? I mean, we don't have your unknown health looming over our heads now, we know you're going to be fine, neither of us have jobs, Nathan, Haley, and Lucas are still in New York, and we have no plans. What should we do?"

"Well, seeing as most of the day is already gone, I say we rent movies and maybe you could show me that thing with your tongue again later in bed."

"Sounds like a plan. Not that I'm not looking forward to that, especially the last part, but you do know I meant like more long term what do we do, like tomorrow, next week, this summer?"

"I know, I just don't want to think about that right now. All I know is this – I'm not dying, I'm finally with the person I love, and today has already been so stressful, I just want to go home and spend it with you."

"I can deal with that. So ice cream, pizza or both?"

"Whatever, as long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"As much as I love the sweet things you say, I'm betting, while I have no doubt that you were being honest, that you're just not hungry."

"Caught me."

"As long as you at least try to eat a little something, then I'll be happy. I won't force you, but I may withhold certain 'skills' from you later."

"Who's the tease now?"

"Come on, let's go home."

"So, do we have everything?"

"Yeah, I double checked every room, had Nathan looked in all the closets and storage space. Everything is either packed in the U-Haul, packed in the car, or on its way to being shipped back home."

"Good, then I guess we're ready to go."

"Lucas, you sure you're okay with their relationship?"

"Yeah Hales. I mean at first I was shocked, I mean how could I have missed it, it all makes so much sense now. It might take me a little while for it to sink in, but I really do want them to be happy. So yes, I'm fine with it."

"That's good Luke, just from the look Brooke gave me when I told her I knew, they are going to be so happy together. It's just sad that it took them so long to get to this point, and that they both had to go through so much."

"I know what you mean, but hopefully now they can just be together and well, be. They deserve it."

"Alright wife, bro, everything is locked up, packed up, and gassed up. Let's hit the road."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'm glad we took a whole week to take care of everything, if we tried to do it in two days, I don't think we would have finished. And we definitely wouldn't have been able to enjoy the city as much as we did."

"Yeah, though I bet Brooke would actually like to see some of her stuff soon, so we better hit the road. Why don't you drive first Luke, then we can switch later."

"Sure Nate, alright, goodbye New York, Tree Hill here we come!"

"Ugh, this is going to be a long drive."

In a sweaty heap in the middle of the bed, Peyton and Brooke struggled to regain their breath. After their night in of movies, Brooke put to use her 'skill' and they had finally run out of steam, 3 hours later. Now, in the middle of the night, both completely satisfied, they had regained lung control and were now wrapped up in each other drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

After waking up the next morning, eating breakfast and fooling around some more, they were once again lying in bed after what neither could deny was amazing sex. By the time afternoon had rolled around, they had once again drifted off to sleep when they were abruptly woken up by the sound of a car horn. Brushing it off, Peyton tried to fall back asleep, as Brooke had already managed. Just as she was about to sink back, she heard the all too familiar sound of the front door shutting, followed by footsteps and a voice moving through the house headed toward their room. Quickly making sure they were covered due to the distinct lack of clothing, she untangled herself from Brooke just as someone appeared in her doorway.

"…Brooke, Peyton? Hey are you guys…"

Peyton clutched the sheet closer to her as Haley covered her eyes and turned around.

"Sorry, I called when I opened the door but got no response. I didn't know if you two were home or not. I'm really sorry Peyton."

"Haley, calm down, it's okay. We should be getting up anyway. How about we meet you downstairs in a few minutes? Please don't let the boys come up here."

"Totally, no problem. I'll just be going them. Oh, and Peyton? I'm really happy for the two of you."

"Thanks, we'll be down in a few."

"Are they home?"

"Yeah, they're uh, just upstairs."

"Oh, I'm going to go say hi."

"NO! I mean, Peyton said they'd be down in a few minutes, she wanted us to wait down here."

"Okay—you feel alright Hales? You're a little jumpy."

"I'm fine Luke, just a long drive you know?"

"Yeah…come on; let's go give Nathan a hand, start bringing some stuff in."

"Sure, let's go do that."

"Brooke! Wake up!"

"Mhmm, come back to bed Blondie."

"No, Brooke, we have to get up. Nathan, Lucas and Haley are back. They're here."

"What!? Oh my God, we have to get dressed, hurry up; I don't want to get walked in on."

"Too late."

Peyton only mumbled this to herself but Brooke caught it none the less.

"Come again; please tell me they did not see us in bed together, NAKED!"

"No, no. I mean, yes, Haley saw us in bed, but I made sure we were covered up. She's making sure the boys don't come up here. Apparently she knows about us, she said she was happy for us. She was also blushing furiously when she saw us, but she'll be okay."

"Oh God. Look, Peyton, don't get me wrong, I am in no way ashamed to be with you, I just haven't exactly thought about how we tell our friends, so hence the freaking out."

"It's okay, I understand. Let's just get dressed, go help them unload all your shit and play the whole coming out thing or whatever by ear."

"One, my stuff is not shit. Two, alright, we'll just see how things go."

"That's my girl, now move your ass B. Davis, we got to get dressed and move all of your oh-so-precious-stuff into the house. That alone could take forever."

"Ha ha Blondie. Just get out of bed already, I miss my things."

After meeting the boys and Haley downstairs, they all proceeded to unload the boxes from the U-Haul and the car. Well, more like the boys moved everything in while the girls occasionally 'helped.'

"You'd think since this is all of your stuff you might want to help move it in, but no, don't risk breaking a nail, let me and Lucas here do all of the heavy lifting."

"I don't do manual labor, and Blondie here is too weak to help, and Haley helped you pack, so she deserves to not help unload and sit here in our company. Honestly Nathan, did you think this was going to end up any other way?"

"No, actually I didn't. Well, all the boxes are in the house in one room or the other. The only things you don't have should arrive by mail in the next week or so, so…I guess that's it then. We're done."

"Good job boys. So who's helping me unpack all of this shit, because I doubt Brooke will be much help."

"Hey, I resent that, I could so help. I mean they are my things, so I will at least be opening up the boxes. I'm not completely useless."

"Sure, sure. So you guys want to hang out or something?"

"Yeah, just from the little I actually did to help – Brooke – I think I just want to stay here and hang, that cool with everyone?"

"Sounds good, so how are you two doing?"

"Um, fine, I guess?"

"Relax Brooke, we all know. Granted Lucas was too blind to see it, we kind of figured it out, and we're happy for you."

"Really? That's great then, at least we don't have to worry about how we were going to tell you guys. So how'd you know?"

"Well, like I hinted to when we left, I just knew. Brooke, the way you and Peyton look at each other, the way you have always acted with each other, I knew there was something more there, I just didn't know if anything would come from it. And then when you came back and I saw both of you, I just knew. So when we were in New York, packing everything, I was talking to Lucas, I didn't know he didn't know, so I'm sorry on that front."

"But I'm completely okay with it, sure I'm still a little shocked, but I'm happy for you. And now when I think back, it does make sense, I don't know how I didn't see it. Continue on Hales."

"Right, so we didn't know if Nathan knew and I hate keeping things from him so we just decided to tell him, mostly out of fear of how he would react."

"They called me in where they were and started to explain and I just knew where they were going. I didn't actually know that you two had gotten together, but after they mentioned you and the looks they were giving me, I put it together. And yeah, I noticed the looks and stuff a long time ago too, and I could care less about it."

"Well thanks for that Nathan, I think."

"No, I mean, I don't care one way or the other, as long as you're both happy, then I'm happy for you. It doesn't bother me. I was just surprised this one here didn't figure it out sooner, I mean come on Luke, how could you have not seen it?"

"Anyway…so yeah, we all know, we're happy for you and completely supportive, you have nothing to worry about from us."

"Thanks you guys you have no idea how much this means to Brooke and I, really it's a load off not having to worry about it."

"No problem. Well, I'm think some baskets are in order, Lucas?"

"Yeah, we'll leave you girls alone for girl talk and unpacking or whatever else it is you do when we men are not around."

"Just don't corrupt my wife."

"Whatever, honestly Nathan, I doubt Haley could be swayed to the Sapphic side, she loves you too damn much. Hey, why don't we all meet up at the café for dinner, say six-ish?"

"Sounds good, later ladies."

"Tootles."

"Later."

"Bye honey, bye Lucas."

"So what should we do now?"

Sitting around the kitchen table, the three girls had been part taking in idle chit chat for a few minutes. Looking over at Peyton, Haley was reminded of the past year and a half, how everything had gone so bad for her, and how sick she looked. She knew she had been to the doctor's but that was all she had heard. Worried about her friend she decided to broach the subject.

"So how did the doctor's go? I know I don't really know much, but I'm assuming Brooke made you go; we've all been worried about you but didn't know what to do. Karen told me you went, so are you okay?"

"Well, good news, I'm not dying, right now at least."

"Oh my God, how bad is it?"

"She's so dramatic, relax Tutor-wife. She'll be fine. She's got this thing called Addison's disease. And so we don't have to keep explaining it, we were just going to tell everyone at the café later, okay?"

"Damn it Peyton don't scare me like that. I can wait for the explanation later. I'm just glad you finally went to a doctor, or rather that Brooke made you go."

"Yeah, she's such a bitch."

"You love it."

"Maybe."

"Right, so, why don't we unpack some of you're things Brooke, you know, before you two start making out on the table right in front of me."

"Sorry, come on, I want to be reunited with my clothes."