-The Unwinding Cable Car-
Having collected herself, washing away the tears that had spilled down her cheeks in her moment of weakness, Brooke moved on down the stairs, keeping quiet so as not to wake Peyton.
Sitting down at the kitchen table, resting her head in her hands, she looked up momentarily to look at the time. It was still early, not thinking that any of her friends would be asleep yet. Picking up the phone, Brooke dialed the number of the person she knew she could talk to.
"Hey, it's me, can you talk?"
"Of course Brooke, I told you, whatever you need. I know this must be so hard on you, not just Peyton. So how are you holding up?"
"Thanks Haley. I just thought everything was getting better, you know? Like yeah, her disappearing wasn't the greatest and all, but starting the medicine, I thought the worst was behind us. But earlier this evening, Haley, you should have seen the look in her eyes, the way she was talking. I don't even know how to explain it, she seemed so lost, and so, disconnected from herself. It scares me, it really does."
"How do you mean, what could she have said?"
"She wasn't making any sense. At first she was saying how she was looking to the stars for answers. Then she was talking about how her mind wasn't cohesive or something, that it was becoming Jell-O that was being ripped through. I don't know, I think I'm still trying to understand it. She said she felt like she was slipping away, and then about the stars being dead and us being insignificant in the world. She wasn't herself. I've never heard her talk like that."
"I'm sorry Brooke, I don't know what to tell you. I wish I was more help. When do you go back to her doctor's?"
"Monday."
"Well just tell her your concerns, fears. I know you won't give up on her, no one loves her more than you do. If anyone can help her through this it's you, the way she looks at you Brooke, I know she just wants to be all she can for you, to be at her best. It must be killing her inside to be sick like this. But you'll both get through it, you've come too far not to."
"I know, I know, I'm just so scared Haley. All of this, on top of just trying to get her physically healthy again, it's so much. What if she can't handle it? She's been through too much in her life already, I can't lose her. I can't."
"Brooke, listen to me. You are not going to lose her. You are going to do everything you can to help her, because I know you wouldn't do anything less. Peyton means too much to you, to all of us, and we'll all help you. You're not alone in this, whenever you need me, any of us, you know we'll be there. Try and stay positive, I know it may not be easy, but she needs you, okay? You have to believe that everything will be fine."
"Thank you, Haley, for everything. I know I'm freaking out, but it's Peyton, how could I not? I'm going to let you go, I'll let you know how the appointment goes."
"Okay, take care Brooke, have a goodnight."
"You too Tutor-wife, 'night."
Monday came with sunlight trying to peek its way in through the drawn curtains. Peyton lay propping herself up on one elbow, just watching mesmerized as Brooke slept, a content smile gracing her features. She had been like this for the better part of two hours, just looking on as her love was at peace. Some moments later, after tucking a few renegade brunette hairs back behind an ear, Brooke woke up to the sight of Peyton staring back at her, completely content.
"Hey…how long have you been up?"
"Couple hours. You look so calm when you're sleeping."
"If you needed me you could have woken me, but by the look on your face I assume everything's good?"
"Yeah…"
"Peyton if something's wrong…hey, what's this song?"
"No, nothing's wrong. Um…the song is…oh! An Unwinding Cable Car. It's been stuck in my head for a few days, figured maybe if I play it a few times I'll be able to figure out why it's been constantly coming back to me."
The girls sat and listened to the song a few times before Peyton got up and turned off the music, a small smile on her lips. As she made her way back to the bed, she seemed to be relieved of something, something that finally clicked.
Emotive unstable. You're like an unwinding cable car. Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are. Go your own way. Even seasons have changed. Just burn those new leaves over. So self-absorbed, you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about. This is the correlation between salvation and love. Don't drop your arms. I'll guard your heart. With quiet words I'll lead you in. Backing away from the problem of pain. You never had a home. You've been misguided. You're hiding in shadows. For so very long. Don't you believe that you've been deceived? That you're no better than… The hair in you're eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of. This is the correlation of salvation and love. Don't drop your arms. I'll guard your heart. With quiet words I'll lead you in. You're so brilliant. Don't soon forget. You're so brilliant. Grace marked your heart. This is the correlation between salvation and love. Don't drop your arms. I'll guard your heart. With quiet words I'll lead you in and out of the dark. Don't drop your arms. This is the correlation of salvation and love. Don't drop your arms. I'll guard your heart. With quiet words I'll lead you in.
"You know, I never really noticed it before, but you were always trying to save me too, weren't you?"
"Of course, you were my best friend, I just couldn't let you drift away from me that easily. But I guess life happened, our 'us against the world' bubble was broken, and drama ensued, things happened, and we lost sight of each other. And you know, you were too, trying to save me. Who used to take care of me after I got drunk off my ass? Who always listened to me bitch about my parents or boyfriends, or whatever the hell I was going on about? You."
"Yeah…well at least we found our way back to each other. And as much as you try and help me, I want to help you too. I guess with everything we had, and what we have now, will have, we had to go through all that shit to make it here. If you take the pain out of love then love won't exist. But hopefully, the days of hurting each other, whether we meant to or not, are gone. Because Brooke, I really don't want to hurt you, but I still feel like I'm doing that."
"Peyt, you need to stop worrying so much. Yes, some of this hurts, but not because you're doing anything to me, and not because of you. It's the situation, the circumstance. It hurts to see you struggling, to see you in pain, to know that I can only do so much. And I know you're hurting too, but we have each other, and we'll make it through. You're going to be okay, we'll make sure of it, so everything will work itself out, we'll get our happy ending."
"Hey…you almost ready?"
"Just give me about five minutes Blondie, I'll be right there."
Peyton was nervous about going to another doctor's appointment. No, she was feeling off in general, on top of everything else. She didn't know what was wrong though, she just had a strange feeling, like she was about to lose something.
As soon as Brooke was finished getting ready, the pair made their way out to Peyton's car. Claiming a headache that wasn't there, the brunette decided to decline driving. She had a lot on her mind and wasn't focused enough in her opinion. Peyton accepted, reveling in the feeling of the wind flowing through her hair as she controlled the power of the automobile. Something about driving always gave her a thrill, just being behind the wheel and doing anything and going anywhere. It was a comforting feeling to have that.
The drive to Dr. Bell's was usually a short drive, though there seemed to be more traffic than usual. As Peyton continues to steer her convertible along the streets of Tree Hill she got that weird feeling once again. An overwhelming sense of loss overcame her just as she went through and intersection, and as she didn't know what to make of it, she looked over at Brooke and knew. She just knew.
Both women were too lost in their own thoughts to have enough time to react when passing through the next intersection, a truck sped through the red light and smashed right into them on Peyton's side. They never saw it coming, Brooke would be fine, but Peyton knew, she knew she wouldn't.