The True Holder of Shikon

Disclaimer - Don't own Inuyasha.

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Chapter 13 - Insanity

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Sango drifted for a long time through the woods and fields and meadows full of flowers. She was trying to find that one certain place where she did not have to fear Naraku. Unfortunately none of those places seemed to ease her anxiousness and pain. Her soft ebony locks of hair gently caressed her pale face and stuck to the damp trails that her tears had left. She was just so sick of it all. Nothing mattered anymore. Her revenge, the thing she had lived for, was gone. Her spirit, her soul just did not want to fight anymore. She was not one to give up but she had not been able to defeat her foe. She knew, for a while, that she just had to try again.

Is revenge my only tie here?

Yes, she realized, it was. What a waste it had been. Her people had been slaughtered and her family had been done in. All by a cunning, self-serving hanyou known as Naraku. He was the bane of her people's existence. He was the tyrant that haunted her dreams and danced in her mind. His intentions of her had been clear. He wanted her newly obtained power. She would be a lifeless shell with no opinion if she had given in.

Did I do the right thing? What will become of me if I continue running? My heart is already gone. My revenge is buried with my father and his people. They can no longer be my people. I have failed them.

Who had once been the strongest of her people was now nothing but a lonely, empty slave to her fear. She was a disgrace.

I am honoring no one like this. I am only failing them. Why did they have to die? Why did Naraku have to kill them? Was it all for a jewel shard? A shard that I had so easily received from a centipede?

The price of the shard had been low. She had gotten it at no cost to herself or anyone. It, however, had turned out to be the end for the taiji-ya. Why did she have to be the sole survivor? Why did she have to remain on the lump of mud called Earth? Would anyone miss her? Possibly. She had made friends of those who had rescued her from the darkness.

Would they understand? Inuyasha would, of that I know. But Kagome...and the others... No, they would not. This pain is too unbearable for me. This fear is making me a slave to those darker thoughts. I cannot even trust my closest and only friends.

Though she realized this, she knew the price of death. There would be peace on the other side. At that point, she cared not if she died as a coward. In fact, she deserved to die as one.

Am I really at the end? Is what Naraku did to me really the one thing that would push me off the edge of my sanity?

Indeed, no one would think that she was in the right state of mind. She was delusional. She was insane. She went stark raving mad.

I am at my lowest point. I cannot go any further. I have hit rock bottom.

In her state, she would not really be surprised by anything she did. She stopped when she came to the grassy hill that overlooked the village resting beside Inuyasha's forest. Her mind drifted to the other half of that stubborn hanyou. The two brothers. They had not yet made it out of the shooting range but they were at peace, in a way. A cease-fire had been called, at least. Sesshoumaru had been the one to understand her until then. Would he understand her need now? Her need to take her life? She collapsed on the ground in a heap of swirling emotions. What about Miroku? Did the houshi not want to be with her? Was that reason enough to hold on, even when her hope had all but abandoned her?

Do I even love him? My feelings for him...I cannot explain them. They are not love. They are not friendship. Is it just a lust? A lust to have something that is actually real in this nightmare? He was my only hope sometimes. But even that hope is gone. It was extinguished not long ago.

She felt the blades of grass brush her skin. She felt the earth beneath her cheek. She felt her hot tears fall one by one off her face. What was Naraku doing to her? He was cornering her like a scared animal. He was crushing her hopes of escape...and he was doing it well. She clutched the grass in her fingers. She was worn past her senseless ideas. She was done with it all. There was nothing left for her here. Her life, her shelter, her soul...all of it was shattered to the point where it was irreparable.

"Sango." She heard the soft voice. It sounded so far away. She felt no touch upon her skin. "Sango." It was more urgent. Finally, she looked up and saw him. He did not even look real. He looked like something out of her dreams. His name formed on her lips but she could not speak it past the tears. She figured that to someone like him, her behavior was appalling. "What causes your tears?" She stared at him, all of her emotions spilling out through her eyes and her scent. It made him dizzy. She sat there for a while, staring at him, trying to get her composure back enough to tell him what he wanted to know.

"Everything..." The word was soft, like that of a breath of wind in a meadow. "Everything is falling apart. Nothing is worth living for. I am a disgrace to the people that I tried to avenge. Naraku has destroyed me, destroyed every little hope that I had left. It crumbled in my hands." He said nothing but stared at her with that cold, expressionless mask. "Now, I have no dignity, no pride, no family, no people, no place, and no hope!" This statement seemed enough to get a reaction from him.

"You have a place. It is with your friends." She shook her head.

"They have no room for me. Perhaps they would grieve if I left them. But I cannot even escape the fear in their embraces! I have a need to do this one favor for myself. The one thing that I know will cause me peace. Do not take that from me with words that I long to hear." He gave her a look that seemed akin to slapping her in the face.

"That is what Naraku wants. He wants you dead."

"No, he wants my power. The power that I have only part-way awakened." She sat up and bowed her head. "Sesshoumaru, I am in too much pain. I can take it no longer."

"I understand that your pain is great but would you rather die as a coward than die fighting against the thing that made you this way?" She had thought about this. She had her answer.

"I deserve to die as a coward." He was getting angry and fed up of listening to her.

"You do not deserve to die at all. Your people, the taiji-ya, did not deserve to die. But you, the survivor-"

"That's just it!" She looked up at him. "I am the last of them! In one damn day I lost everything that I had ever known! Naraku took everything away from me and I am going to take it back!"

"By killing yourself? You are already dead! The strong taiji-ya is buried somewhere underneath this new, hopeless corpse!" He raised his voice, just as she had. "Listen to yourself!"

"I have made my decision." She said in a reserved voice. "I am fed up with this fear and this pain. I could not even defeat the creature that tried to make me his! This was the last straw!"

"You have gone insane." The quietness of his voice was enough to make her shiver. "You have finally given in to those thoughts of suicide and hopelessness."

"Yes." Her voice cracked. She was not denying it. She was not proud of it...but she finally lost. The amount of tears falling from her already red eyes increased. He let out a soft sigh before reaching forward and wiping her tears from her face with his thumb. She did not feel fear at his touch. She only felt the warmth she was missing. She leaned into his touch, hoping it would not fade. It did. He pulled his hand back before getting to his feet and offering her a hand up. She hesitated. She knew she could trust him. She knew he would not harm her. She did not fear his touch.

Perhaps...

She did not finish her thoughts before she reached up and placed her hand in his. He pulled her to her feet and she stumbled into his arms, pressing her cheek to his chest. She could feel his beating heart. She could feel the warmth emitting from his body. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her and she smiled. She closed her eyes.

Perhaps my journey has been in vain... Perhaps the peace, the hope, is really here...in Sesshoumaru's arms...

Sesshoumaru felt her arms around him and he could not help himself. He had seen her state. It had been enough to make him see how stupid he had been. She would not recover. That endless void of pain that Naraku had caused would always be there. He had taken everything from the human woman and then even tried to take her as well. Sesshoumaru had never seen such a sorry, hopeless mess. He only hoped that she did not take the course she had wanted.

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Kagome chewed on her pen cap. She was bored with writing essays. She needed to learn the stuff first! She had no idea how she was going to do it, either. So, she decided upon calling Yuka or Eri. However, she knew she couldn't.

I've been keeping things from them. How can I expect them to help me when I've been pushing them away?

A soft knock on her door startled her from her thoughts. Standing up and stretching, she walked over to it and opened it. On the other side, she saw Yuka and Eri.

"W-What are you guys doing here?" She asked; hoping that they did not see her current house guest.

"We're here to help you. I called and your mom said that you've been up here for hours working on this stuff. So, we're here to tutor you." Yuka explained with a smile.

"B-But..."

"Let's get to work!" Eri cried cheerfully; pushing the startled girl into her room and closing the door behind her. Yuka sat on her bed and immediately opened her notebook.

"You guys don't have to do this." Kagome stated; getting up from the floor and sitting in her chair by her desk. Eri burst into sudden laughter.

"You don't understand a thing! This essay is all wrong! You can't go by the book." The girl peered over the paper at her. "This is the most pathetic thing I have seen yet."

"Hey-!" Kagome cried; trying to snatch her paper back. Eri held it over her head. "I didn't know anything!"

"Which is why we're here to help you."

Another hour had passed and Kagome was so engrossed in her lesson that she didn't realize someone entered her room until her friends' gasps reached her ears. She looked up and the color left her face.

"Inuyasha!" She cried; startled.

"I just came up to say that I was goin' back tomorrow. I gotta talk to Sango." She stopped.

"Why?" The question made him cringe.

"My brother ain't exactly the person to be dependent on!"

"Who's Sango, Kagome?" Yuka asked curiously; her eyes on her friend.

"She's my friend."

"And something had to have happened..." Eri stated.

"Uh..."

So, after another hour of explaining things went by, Kagome was extremely glad to have it off her chest but worried that they wouldn't believe her. After all, a time traveling teenager that went through an ancient well to an era with youkai wasn't something heard every day. The girls stared at her before looking at Inuyasha then at each other. Finally, Yuka let out a sigh.

"Well, it would account for everything, I guess. I mean that...youkai that attacked this time with the jewel shard was enough to send everyone into a chaotic mess." Eri nodded.

"It would also fit with those powers you have."

"And dog-boy over there." Yuka's eyes went to his ears. She wanted to touch them.

"Hey!" He scowled. Eri then grinned.

"Is he that two-timing jealous boyfriend of yours?" Kagome's face went completely red in embarrassment.

"Eri!" Inuyasha raised a brow. Then he got angry.

"Who's a two-timer? And who's jealous?"

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Sesshoumaru was sitting against the Go-Shinboku tree with the human woman in his arms. She had cried for a good long time and came to a decision that had settled him.

"Are you asleep?" She asked quietly. He opened his eyes and looked down at her.

"No." She smiled at him. He felt her arms tighten around his neck.

"I am so sorry for that. I lost control of myself. You were right. Again." He smirked slightly.

"Of course I was. You are a foolish woman." She looked away from him and tucked her head under his chin, where it had been before.

"Yes, maybe so." She whispered softly. "But look at where my foolishness put me." He froze. There were many ways to interpret that statement.

"Where has it put you?" She snuggled deeper into his arms.

"Where I can feel safe; where I can hope again." He did not know where she was going with this.

"And where is that?" She pulled slightly away and looked him right in the eyes.

"With you." He stared at her. "In your arms." She reached up and touched his markings on his cheek. He brought one hand up and gripped her hand. Then he looked deep into her mahogany eyes. She returned his amber gaze. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers in a soft kiss. She felt her heart begin to pound and heat spread through her body. Her face felt really hot. She responded before he pulled away. Then he gently moved her and stood up. "Sesshoumaru?" She asked hesitantly. He stared at her for a moment and she saw the look in his eyes. His face was completely unguarded. He appeared to want to say something but bolted before another word could be shared.

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What have I done? Why did I kiss her? What is wrong with me?

He splashed the cold water of the river onto his face. He had not been thinking clearly. He hated humans...didn't he? He stared at his reflection, seeing the mask everyone saw; seeing the monster most thought that he was. He had to be honest with himself. If he was not honest with himself, how could he be honest with anyone else?

No, I do not hate humans. Not since...Rin...and now Sango. I understand the torment Father felt about loving a human...

He paused and stared, unguarded, into the water.

"I-I...love her." He guessed he knew the instant he saw her on the ground. The instant he could smell the despair and loss in her scent. The instant he wanted to snap her out of her insanity. He smiled bitterly into the water.

But I will be damned if I let those feelings control me again. Just...hearing her say those words... I do not want to love her but I have no choice. I already do.

He felt a sadness building up inside of him at the thought of leaving her because he loved her. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to proclaim his love for her. He wanted, above all, to protect her.

"I will protect her. With my life."

Naraku will never touch her again. I will make sure of that.

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Hey, how was it? I hope I kept everyone in character for this. I tried to. Sorry if they seemed OOC.

Please review!