A/N: Avenue Q time!
Taang enters the stage with a clipboard.
"What is this? I can't read a thing!"
Mistress Monster jumps up, "It says this next one is for… Jet, Aang, Zuko, Longshot, Sokka and Katara."
Katara looked at Toph and whispered, "Fuck."
Taang shouted, "LANGUAGE!"
Both her and Mistress Monster returned to their seats and Mistress Monster sits right behind Meng.
She put the tazer on the back of Meng's neck and…
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!
You get the idea.
"That's what you get for trying to take Aangy!" Mistress Monster shouts.
She glares in Katara's general direction.
Katara squeaks and runs up to join her brother and most of the guys who usually hit on her. Including Sokka, at times.
KATARA
The internet is really really great
SOKKA
For porn
KATARA
I've got a fast connection so i don't have to wait
SOKKA
For porn
KATARA
Huh?
There's always some new site,
SOKKA
For porn!
KATARA
I
browse all day and night
SOKKA
For porn!
KATARA
It's
like i'm surfing at the speed of light
SOKKA
For
porn!
KATARA
Trekkie!
SOKKA
The internet is for porn
KATARA
TREKKIE!
SOKKA
The internet is for porn,
KATARA
What are you doing!?
SOKKA
Why you think the net
was born?
Porn porn porn
KATARA
Tre--kie!
SOKKA
Oh
hello Kate monster
KATARA
You are ruining my song
SOKKA
Oh
me sorry, me no mean to
KATARA
Well if you wouldnt mind please
being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
SOKKA
Me no
talkie
KATARA
Good
I'm glad we have this new
technology
SOKKA
For porn
KATARA
Which gives us untold
opportunity
SOKKA
For por—oops, sorry
KATARA
Right from
you own desktop
SOKKA
For ---
KATARA
You can research
browse and shop
Until you've had enough and your ready to
stop
SOKKA
FOR PORN!!
KATARA
Trekkie!
Trekkie!
SOKKA
The
internet is for porn!
KATARA
Noooo
SOKKA
The internet if
for porn!
KATARA
Trekkie!
SOKKA
Me up all night honking
me horn to porn, porn, porn!
KATARA
That's gross you're
a pervert
SOKKA
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
KATARA
NO
really, your a pervert
Normal people don't sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
SOKKA
Ohhhh?
KATARA
What?!
SOKKA
You
have no idea
Ready normal people?
NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready---
ready ----ready
SOKKA
Let me hear it!
SOKKA AND
GUYS
The internet is for porn!
ZUKO
Sorry Kate
SOKKA AND
GUYS
The internet is for porn!
ZUKO
I masturbate!
SOKKA
AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn,
porn!
KATARA
The internet is not for porn!!
SOKKA
AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---
KATARA
HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online
LONGSHOT
That's correct.
KATARA
And
Brian, you buy things on
AANG
Sure!
KATARA
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay
JET
Yes I do!
KATARA
And Princeton, you sent me
that sweet online birthday card
ZUKO
True!
SOKKA
Oh,
but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?
ZUKO
.
.yeah
KATARA
EEEWWWWW!
SOKKA AND GUYS
The internet
is for porn!
KATARA
Gross!
SOKKA AND GUYS
The internet
is for porn!
KATARA
I hate porn
SOKKA AND GUYS
Grab your
dick and double click
KATARA
I hate you men!
SOKKA AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn,
porn
KATARA
I'm leaving!
SOKKA AND GUYS
Porn, porn,
porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATARA
I hate the
internet!
SOKKA AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
SOKKA
The
internet is for
SOKKA AND SOME
The internet is for
SOKKA
AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!
SOKKA
YEAH!
Sokka sighed, "Oh, wow."
"Ew…." Katara yelled, running back to the audience and hiding under Toph's seat.
"Hey… Katara and Sokka were related to Mistress Monster!" Aang yelled. Mistress Monster glared at him and he cringed, waiting for the tazer. It never came, instead, Meng ran up and…
"OW!" she yelled.
Mistress Monster had pulled back on her leash back into her chair and…
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
"Oh, crap! I'm vibrating!" Aang yelled. Longshot, Jet and Zuko laughed and fell off the stage in a heap.
"MANSEX!" Taang screamed.
"NO CELL PHONES IN THE THEATRE!" Mistress Monster yelled.
"Toph, now you have to sing with Aang!"
"Fuck." Toph cursed.
"LANGUAGE!" Taang yelled, grabbing the tazer from Mistress Monster and…
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!
She tazed Meng, because she and Mistress Monster would never hurt Toph or Aang.
Aang:
I'm
not wearing underwear today,
No im not wearing underwear today
Not
that you probably care
Much about my underwear
Still none the
less i gotta say
That im not wearing underwear today
Toph: Getta Job!
Aang: Thank you..hunnie?
Toph looked at Aang funny, "Did you just call me hunnie?
Aang looked at the teleprompter with wide eyes, "Umm… yes."
Taang jumped out of her seat, "MOLEST HER! DAMMIT!"
"LANGUAGE!" Mistress Monster yelled. "FUCK YA!" she then yelled.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!
She tazed Meng yet again, then Sokka and Azula.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!
Aang and Toph stood onstage with eyes reeeeaaaally wide, then they scrambled down the steps, tripping over each other and falling on top of each other.
"MOLESTATION!" Taang yelled again, feeling the dangerous vibrations.
"TAZER!" Mistress Monster yelled.
BZT! BZT! BZT!!!
She just pressed the button several times. Then she put on the back of Smellerbee's neck accidently…
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!
"Oops…" Mistress Monster said, feeling the wrath of Longshot.
"Fuck."
And she began running, then remembered she had the tazer.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!
Longshot joined Smellerbee on the floor.
Taang looked at her foot, "Are they unconsciously making out?"
"No…" Mistress Monster said, sighing and returning to her seat. She put the tazer to the back of Meng's neck and…
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!
You get the idea.
Toph Monster
