A/N: Yay.
Aang and Toph returned to their seats. Mistress Monster sighed and ran up to the stage, "Quick announcement… this is mostly going to be Zutara and Taang, if any pairings at all."
Sokka looked at her, "Zutara and Taang? I thought she was Taang," he said, pointing to the little girl.
Taang gasped and picked up the tazer.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!
"Ahem," Mistress Monster replied, gaining everyone's attention, "Zutara is the pairing Zuko and Katara—"
Zuko and Katara groaned
"--and Toph and Aang."
Toph and Aang slid down in their seats.
"On that note," Mistress Monster said happily, "Jet and Toph get on the stage."
Jet and Toph grumbled as they went up the steps.
Taang fed the words into the teleprompter and turned it toward the two actors.
JET
Good day, young lady.
TOPH
Good day, Mr. Wolf.
JET
Mmmh...
Unhh...
Look at that flesh,
Pink and plump.
Hello, little girl...
Tender and fresh,
Not one lump.
Hello, little girl...
This one's especially lush,
Delicious...
Mmmh...
Hello, little girl,
What's your rush?
You're missing all the flowers.
The sun won't set for hours,
Take your time.
TOPH
Mother said,
"Straight ahead,"
Not to delay or be misled.
JET
But slow, little girl,
Hark and hush-
The birds are singing sweetly.
You'll miss the birds completely,
You're traveling so fleetly.
Grandmother first,
Then Miss Plump...
What a delectable couple:
Utter perfection-
One brittle, one supple-
One moment, my dear-!
TOPH
Mother said,
"Come what may,
Follow the path
And never stray."
JET
Just so, little girl-
Any path.
So many worth exploring.
Just one would be so boring.
And look what you're ignoring...
Think of those crisp,
Aging bones,
Then something fresh on the palate,
Think of that scrumptious carnality
Twice in one day-!
There's no possible way
To describe what you feel
When you're talking to your meal.
TOPH
Mother said
Not to stray.
Still I suppose,
A small delay...
Granny might like
A fresh bouquet...
Goodbye, Mr. Wolf.
JET
Goodbye, little girl.
And hello...
Jet stared at the teleprompter, "Umm… even I creeped myself out…"
"I bet," Taang replied, "I still don't trust him."
Aang looked at Toph, "Umm… why am I tempted to go save her?"
Taang smiled, "Yessss…"
Jet jumped off the stage and looked at Toph, "No more creepiness…"
"Fine," Toph replied, "More solos for Jet, gotcha."
Toph stepped down, "Unless I'm up again, I'm sitting down."
Katara and Zuko sat with stunned looks, "Uhhh… scary song."
Toph Monster