Thank you so much for your reviews! I appreciate each and every one of them, please keep them coming, let me know what you think!

The title is borrowed from Bon Jovi and doesn't really have anything to do with the story…so sue me, I like Bon Jovi…

Spaciba to Stayce as usual for being there in my time of need!! I'll even put a bow on him for you!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot. And sadly, there's no money in the plot.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. Then there's the angst and the drama…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 3

Apparently, I was not as ready as I'd assumed. When the phone rang, I jumped and almost dropped the gun on the floor. Then my heart started racing.

I debated how I should answer it for a beat, then I snatched up the receiver and said 'Hello?' neutrally. I didn't want the bastard to believe I'd been waiting for his call.

I'd been too flustered to check the caller ID, my choice of greeting had been right, I realized it when I heard Valerie's soft voice.

"Steph?"

I let out a shaky breath. "Hi, Val."

"How are you feeling?"

Arrgh! Couldn't people just stop asking me that? First off, I was feeling sad, lonely, desperate and overall crappy. Second off, every time I heard the question, I was reminded of it.

"Well, you know…" I was beyond telling people I was fine to make them feel better. "Hanging in there."

"Uhm, I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow? Albert is out of town on a conference, so it would just be us girls."

Well, I thought, three girls, a horse and a crying baby. If there was anything I wasn't in the mood for, it was playing normal in front of the kids. Pretending it was normal for my niece Mary Alice to think she was a horse. Holding Baby Lisa and trying to come up with new ways to get her to stop crying. No thanks.

"I don't think so, Val, I wouldn't be good company." I said truthfully. I wanted to be good company even less than I wanted company around.

Valerie seemed a little relieved that I declined, but that could have been my imagination because I was so relieved she didn't try to persuade me. She told me again how sorry she was, and we disconnected.

I stood at the counter trying to regain some of my earlier determination when the phone rang again, startling me, again. Maybe I should forget my plan and just disconnect the damned thing, I thought.

This time I checked the readout: it was Ranger. Why was he calling me? I picked up the receiver.

"What did he say?" Ranger asked.

"Huh?" I wasn't very articulate, but I hadn't expected him to greet me with a question.

"The guy. Tank just called to report you had another call from him."

I'd forgotten about the trace. Mental head slap.

"I didn't talk to him."

"Did he leave a message?"

"Yes."

"I'll be right up," he said and disconnected. I sighed. I didn't know why I'd been so monosyllabic with him, why hadn't I just told him about the message? Probably he would have still decided to come up, which meant he'd been in the parking lot all along. Not that I'd thought he'd actually left. I just had to give up on the hope to get any alone time.

When I heard the door locks tumble, I quickly dashed into the bathroom to check my appearance. I didn't want to have the pity-inducing look, I was tired of pity.

I looked just as bad as I had expected, so I splashed some cold water onto my face and pulled my hair back again. Then I took a couple deep breaths and straightened my shoulders.

Ranger was waiting for me in the foyer.

"I thought you were gonna give me some space..." I said by way of greeting. He looked like he was going to ask it, so I put up my hand.

"If you're gonna ask you how I'm feeling or if I'm okay, I'm gonna scream."

The corners of his mouth came up the tiniest bit, as if he was thinking about smiling, and he nodded slightly. "Fair enough."

Ranger gestured towards the kitchen. "I need to hear the message."

I raised my chin. "And this couldn't wait until tomorrow?" I wasn't being fair, and I didn't care. He'd promised me to give me the day and he kept breaking the promise. Yet there was no doubt in my mind he'd be ready to cart me off to 'safety' tomorrow and expected me to fulfill my part of the deal. How could I flesh out a plan to take out Joe's killer if I kept getting interrupted? Besides, with Ranger around, I'd never get out of the house unnoticed.

"Babe." Ranger said. Pretty much what I'd expected. I sighed and turned towards the kitchen where I rewound the tape and played the message for him.

"There," I said afterwards, "you've heard it. You can leave now."

Ranger's expression showed no emotion. He looked up at me ignoring what I'd said. "Still no idea who it is?"

I shook my head no. This second message had sounded creepier, but his voice still wasn't familiar. He sounded like Scrog, the psycho who had worshipped Ranger to the point of wanting to be him. That had included me, he had made me part of his obsession under the impression that I was Ranger's girl. This caller had the same kind of crazy tone in his voice. What if this guy was as obsessed, only with Joe? Or maybe even with me, what if he 'had to have' me, at all cost? Maybe he thought that Joe'd stood in the way of us getting together? I tried to remember every guy I'd ever dated, but no crazy guy came to mind. Besides, I was pretty sure I would have recognized the voice, at least in the 'sounds familiar' kind of way.

"Something you not telling me?" Ranger asked, his left eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch.

I hated that he could read me like a book. "He sounds creepy, like Scrog." I said.

"And?"

I shrugged. "And that's what I was thinking." Pretty much, anyway.

Ranger popped the tape out of the machine and pocketed it. I took a new one out of a drawer and put it in.

"I'm gonna have the guys listen to it. Maybe someone will recognize him."

I shrugged. "Knock yourself out."

"Nice try. I know you have other things on your mind right now, but if you're gonna pretend this isn't serious, at least put some effort into it." Ranger said and crossed his arms over his chest.

Good, I thought. If he thought I was trying not to care, he wouldn't think I'd try to go after the guy. I decided to go with that and shrugged again. "Whatever."

Maybe I'd gone too far with it, Ranger didn't look like he believed me, he just continued to stare.

"You got what you came for." I said, deciding to change the topic. Ranger half-nodded.

"You know the way out." I said and walked into the living room. Of course I expected him to come after me and either hold me back or confront me in some other way. I sat down on the couch, listening for any sounds from him. I didn't have to wait long; he walked in a minute later.

"Are you finished?" he asked.

"Am I finished?" I replied slowly, raising my eyebrows. Did he actually have the nerve to treat me like a hysteric teenager and not take me seriously? I wondered if he thought I wasn't freaked out enough by the caller or if I was acting like a brat.

"Yeah, are you done? I understand how you feel, Babe, but that doesn't change this situation.Can you carry on an adult conversation?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, keeping my voice calm. Ranger raised an eyebrow again but didn't respond.

At least I now knew he thought I was going with infantile denial. That did it. I didn't know what game Ranger was playing, but I really didn't need any more of it. I brushed past him and into my bedroom, slammed the door shut and locked it. It was the only thing I could think of, because just like that, the tears were back. It seemed every emotion in me started the waterworks that day, because this time it was anger. I was so angry at Ranger, I felt like slapping him.

I slid down onto the floor with my back against the door and cried silently. I remembered how my tears had always affected Joe; he'd never been quite sure what to do when I cried. Usually he'd say something like "Shit, I hate when you cry". And now that I was thinking of Joe's face when he said this, and the silent tears became loud, racking sobs. I grabbed a sweater off the floor and hugged it to my chest. I wondered if I could ever remember his face without the pain.

If Ranger knocked, I didn't hear him. I just noticed the door pressing into my back and pushing me over the floor when it opened.

He sat down beside me wordlessly and pulled me into his arms. I wanted to yell at him to leave me alone and get the hell out, but all I did was let myself be held. He encircled me with his arms and stroked my hair until I calmed down again.

"I'm sorry." He said simply. I didn't know if he was sorry for being an ass or for my loss, but I decided to take it as an apology and nodded, my face still resting against his chest. He was warm and felt safe and I wondered if I could sap some of his strength by leaning against him. He slid an arm under my knees and pulled me onto his lap, then he continued stroking my hair, not saying anything else. For a while, I was able to completely shut out all thoughts and just breathe. I was closer to relaxing than I'd been in days.

When the phone rang, I yelped, and I felt Ranger go for his gun before he recovered. He stood up and pulled me with him.

"You should answer that." He said, nudging me out of the bedroom.

I got to the kitchen and picked up the receiver. The caller ID told me it was an 'unknown caller'.

Before I hit the 'Talk' button, I looked up to see Ranger emerge from my bedroom. He was on his cell phone already and mouthed 'Go'. I took that as my cue to answer, right on the third ring.

"Hello?" I was surprised my voice actually sounded normal when I felt everything but. My heart was racing and black dots were dancing in front of my eyes.

"At last. I was beginning to think you were avoiding me." Asshole said.

Ranger reached around me and pushed the record button.

"Why would I do that?" I asked, unable to come up with anything better. Ranger put his arm around me and that grounded me a little. He squeezed my shoulder as if to say 'Keep going'.

"Listen, I know you can't talk right now, you have the merc around."

I cut my eyes to Ranger who took a step back and lifted his own phone up, I assumed to talk to Tank.

"So I'm gonna keep it short. We'll be together soon enough, don't worry about a thing. No one can find us where we're going." I was still thinking of a response when I heard the dial tone.

My hand was shaking when I put the phone back on its base. If he'd been trying to freak me out, he'd succeeded. I could hear Ranger talking in the bedroom. Asshole's voice still didn't sound familiar, but he'd sounded like he was losing it, and fast. Suddenly my plan to meet him alone didn't seem all that appealing anymore.

"Keep in touch." Ranger said and snapped his phone shut as he approached me.

"No good," He said, shaking his head, "he wasn't on long enough for Tank to track him."

He rewound the tape and listened to the call again. His face was blank, but I could see a jaw muscle move, giving away his tension. That was as close as Ranger would get to showing emotion, and it surprised me. I'd been in many messes since I'd met Ranger, and he'd been there to get me out of a lot of them. I'd never seen him lose his cool. It was gone so fast, the blank face regaining control, that I thought maybe I'd imagined it. I wasn't exactly seeing or thinking straight.

"He knows you're here." I said, just now allowing myself to think about what Asshole had said. For some reason I'd thought he called from far away. Like Newark. Him being close was too scary.

Ranger nodded. I looked around as if I could find a peep hole or camera that way. "Do you think he's watching me?" I had a knot in my stomach at the thought of it.

"I have Hal and Lester outside," Ranger said, "if there's anything or anyone out there that doesn't belong, they'll know." I noticed how that didn't answer my question. So it was a possibility.

"I don't think I want to know where he's planning to take me." I said. Ranger looked up and our eyes held.

"It won't come to that, Babe." He said. I didn't like what I could read into that. It had sounded like a promise, like he'd do anything to protect me from Asshole. Now I remembered why I needed to go after him alone, I didn't want to drag Ranger into it. But if Ranger had needed any more reason to not leave my side, this call would surely have convinced him.

"It's late." I said into the silence. "I'm going to bed."

If Ranger was surprised at my change of topic he didn't show it. "Guess it's no use trying to ask you to stay with me?"

"Guess not." I confirmed.

"I'll be on the couch then."

I sighed and shrugged, leaving Ranger behind on my way to the bedroom. I knew there was no use trying to get him to leave again and I didn't have the energy for another argument. I wasn't as much sleepy as exhausted, I really needed to lie down. The day, the crying, and the psycho phone calls had worn me out. But most of all, it was the feeling of doom at having to face all this without Joe.

I did my thing in the bathroom and changed into my flannel pajamas, I needed all the comfort I could get.

I lay down on the bed on my back, spread-eagled, my eyes on the ceiling, hoping for inspiration to strike and let me come up with a plan. Ranger was talking on the phone; I could hear his deep voice, but not what he was saying. Probably giving Tank instructions, planning the next steps. Maybe I should be involved in that, I thought, but that didn't fit into my plans at present. I couldn't pretend to be playing along, Ranger would see right through me.

'No one can find us where we're going', the caller's voice replayed in my mind and I shuddered involuntarily. What if he was successful? Was I being as crazy as he was for thinking I could shoot him before he could take me? I told myself to keep my eyes on the goal, and the goal was to get close enough to the bastard to find out if he was the real thing and then shoot the shit out of him.

Okay, I decided, first things first. I had to get out of my apartment. Ranger would try to protect me and keep me safe at all cost. Unfortunately, keeping me safe probably equaled being holed up in his apartment, or his office building or a safe house. I had no doubt he would ask one or more of the Merry Men to keep watch as well. It wasn't impossible to outsmart them, but it was highly improbable. So that left tonight.

Supposing I could sneak out on Ranger, where would I go?

I was pondering the question when Ranger knocked on the door. "Come in." I said, trying to make my voice sound sleepy.

Ranger came in and sat down on the side of my bed. Part of me wanted to pull him in to have him hold me so I could actually sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to sleep if I wanted to make a smooth getaway. And I'd also need Ranger in another room for it.

"Sorry if I woke you," he said, "Just making sure you have everything you need. I'll be in the living room if you need me."

I nodded and he leaned down to kiss my head. "Thank you." I said.

He stood and left for the bathroom. This was my chance! When I heard water running, I sprang into action.

I grabbed clothes off the floor randomly, put them on, and pushed my feet into sneakers.

If I'd manage to be as fast as I planned, it might just work, I realized. In any case, it was the only thing I could come up with. Tomorrow, it would be too late for sure.

I grabbed my shoulder bag and almost flew out of the bedroom. My gun was still on the kitchen counter, it would only take a minute to get it, but right now, I didn't know if I had that minute. I told myself I could always get another gun somewhere once I needed it, but if I didn't make it out of the apartment right now; I might never get the opportunity to use it.

I could still hear the shower running when I got to the front door, but I didn't give myself time for the elevator and ran down the stairs instead.

I held my breath when I got to the downstairs landing, I couldn't believe I'd gotten this far. If Hal or Lester were sitting in the beach chairs in the lobby, I'd be screwed. I opened the fire door slowly and peeked out, as if that was any safer than walking out. The lobby was lit around the clock, so I'd be visible on my way to the front door. I took a deep breath and made a dash for it, not daring to breathe until the front door whooshed close behind me.

Of course now I had a whole new problem: It was the middle of the night, I had no car and my cell phone had died, I hadn't charged it in days.

As soon as Ranger got out of the bathroom, he'd be searching for me. And he was very good at finding people.

I did some mental knuckle cracking and tried to prioritize. First, I had to get off the street. Probably Ranger had the front of my apartment building on a surveillance route and I had avoided the merry men by luck so far.

I needed a place to hide that Ranger wouldn't think of. Since Ranger knew me better than anyone, that was a tough one. My family was out, so were Lula, Mary Lou and Connie. As much as they'd be willing to help me out, Ranger would visit them first. I wrapped my arms around myself and started walking to the closest convenience store to use their pay phone, hoping that by the time I got there I'd know who to call. I tried to think like Ranger, who would he think I'd turn to?

Once inside the 7/11, I bought a bottle of water and put some change into the payphone. I went down far on my mental list of people I knew, I was hoping it was far enough.

It rang five times and I was about to hang up when a sleepy voice answered.

"It's Steph," I said, "Stephanie Plum. Sorry to wake you."

"Yeah, what do you want?"

The good news was, he hadn't told me to go to hell right away and he hadn't asked me how I was coping. There was a possibility he hadn't heard about Joe.

"I need your help, Randy."

Randy Briggs was a little person, a midget, and a computer whiz. Our paths had crossed when he'd been FTA a few years back and I'd been the lucky bounty hunter to track him down. His bond had been so low that Ranger wasn't interested, he'd been arrested for carrying a knife, and bringing him in had been way more trouble than gain. He'd helped me out a couple times after that, but we hadn't spoken in a while. He was the only one I could come up with on a short notice as someone I could ask a favor. To say that we were friends was a gross exaggeration, but he hadn't hung up yet, so there was hope.

I fibbed my heart out, telling him how someone had stolen my car and broken into my apartment, my parents had their house fumigated and I needed a place to stay because the cops had sealed my place. I knew from personal experience that the police actually did that, conserving crime scenes and all that.

I must have sounded desperate enough, because Randy agreed to pick me up. I high-fived myself mentally as I waited for him, so far my plan was working. I hid behind the store's shelves and kept an eye out for Ranger and his men, since I didn't think I had much more time if I stayed in my neighborhood.

Briggs pulled up in front of the store twenty minutes later and I sprinted out and into his car in under a minute.

I wanted to yell "GO!" but I remembered I hadn't told him about my need for a fast getaway so I forced myself to be calm and greeted him.

"Thank you so much for doing this for me." I said.

Briggs put his car in gear as he glanced over at me. "Mostly I'm curious to learn what's going on, I can't imagine I'd be your first choice when you're looking for help. Also, you look like shit."

Damn, I'd forgotten Briggs was pretty smart, I hadn't thought up a lie for his question yet. And I hadn't had the time to put on make-up and do my hair, so probably he was right about the way I looked.

He turned onto Hamilton heading towards the apartment complex he lived in, and I was still chewing my lip thinking.

I kept checking the rearview mirror, still not believing I'd made a clear getaway. Of course it was a futile gesture, since everyone at RangeMan knew how to follow a car without being noticed.

"Okay, either you tell me what's really going on or I'll change my mind about helping you." Briggs said. I cut my eyes to him to check if he was serious. He looked like a child behind the wheel of his mom's car, sitting on a booster seat with his feet barely dangling over the edge of the car seat. His car had been specially equipped for his needs.

"Well?" He asked. I sighed. "It's complicated. I need a beer to tell you everything."

I didn't want a beer; I wanted to buy time to come up with what to tell Briggs. It worked; he nodded and said we'd talk at his apartment.

A half hour later, beer in hand, my cell phone charging, we were sitting on the couch in his living room and he was looking at me expectantly.

I decided to tell him the truth, minus a few details. So I left Joe out, mostly because I didn't trust myself to talk about him without crying, and told him about my newest stalker and how I had to avoid Ranger who was trying to get me into a safe house. I was a bit vague on the reason why I didn't want Ranger involved, I couldn't find a safe way to say I didn't want Ranger to kill for me. I told him how I may need his talents to do some research on the Net for me; I didn't want to ask him for the gun I needed even more.

Briggs looked as if he liked the idea of being needed. Not that I thought he harbored any romantic feelings for me, but I thought it made him feel important. I didn't think Briggs had many close friends.

In any case, he agreed to letting me stay at his place a couple days and I took a long pull from my beer. So far, so good.

"I need to find out who this guy is," I said, "do you think you could track down who's calling my cell phone?"

Randy scratched his chin. "Not sure. It can be done, but it's tricky."

Not what I had wanted to hear. "How long would it take you to set it up?" Randy shrugged.

"I'll look into it tomorrow. I have some coding to finish up, then I'll have time. Could be interesting to find out how seriously cell phone companies take security." I didn't quite share his geeky enthusiasm, but I knew that if it was possible, Randy would find a way.

"Do you know anything about this guy?" Randy asked. When I shook my head he chuckled.

"You sure know how to attract lunatics, that's for sure."

My guess was he was referring to the time when a 'lunatic' had tied him up and stuffed him into my closet to get him out of the way. Not one of my favorite memories, I'd been scared shitless and had gotten shot.

At this point, I was doing my best to keep my composure. I didn't need to stir up more bad memories. It was late and I was beyond exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open. But at least the excitement of the past few hours had helped me temporarily distract myself from Joe.

I decided to ignore Briggs' remark and busied myself with my cell phone instead. There were dozens of messages and I decided to leave them for another day. Only one person I wanted to talk on the phone to, and I was hoping he had my cell number. At some point I'd have to let Ranger know I was okay so that he wouldn't tear up Trenton looking for me, I figured.

"Do you know if this one is dangerous?" Randy asked. He was persistent. I thought about how to best answer his question. Ranger thought the guy was serious, and I didn't need any further evidence. But Randy might decide it was too dangerous to help me if I told him that. But if I downplayed it, he could think it wasn't all that urgent and not put all his efforts into helping me. I shrugged. "I'm here. I need your help. That's pretty much all I know for sure. I'm taking him seriously all right."

Randy seemed to think about that for a minute. "He doesn't know you're here, right?"

I shook my head. "No way."

"Well that's a relief."

In more ways than he could imagine, I thought, but didn't say out loud. I didn't want to alarm him.

"So you're gonna help me?" I asked.

"What's it worth to you?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not sleeping with you."

"Don't flatter yourself. Have you looked in the mirror lately?" He made a dismissive gesture with his hand and some gagging noise. "I was talking about money. My work doesn't come cheap. My usual rate is $75 an hour."

I almost choked on my beer. He was going to charge me for his help? Whatever happened to helping a friend in need??

"Of course I'd give you a special rate, since I know you and all. And I'll let you stay on the couch for free." He said when he noticed my surprise.

"How about you tell me what you can do for me and I'll find a way to make it worth your while?" I suggested. I had no intention of paying him, but maybe I could get him a fruit basket when this was over.

"Okay, but remember, I have access. If you try to screw me, I find ways to make your life miserable."

I thought he'd have to get in line for that, but nodded anyway.

When we finished our beers, Randy told me where to find blankets and headed off to bed. I glanced at the wall clock; it was two in the morning.

I got a look at myself in the mirror when I went to the bathroom to do my bedtime routine and my reflection frightened me. Randy had been right. He'd once described my appearance as a new form of birth control. My eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, and had dark circles under them that stood in contrast to the rest of my pale face. My cheeks were hollow, since my body wasn't used to surviving on a few beers and a sandwich a day. My hair had formed a bunch of rat's nests among its curls and was sticking out in places. Under normal circumstances, I would have never left the house like that, but I'd been desperate.

I cleaned up as best as possible, got a blanket out of the closet and tried to make myself comfortable on Randy's couch. My pulse sped up when my cell phone rang, but it wasn't who I wanted to call, it was Ranger. I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hey."

"Where are you?" He sounded so pissed; I was wondering if Hal and Lester were still alive. This was the Ranger that made your mess your pants if you met him in a dark alley. But did he honestly expect an answer to that question? Why would I have run away if I was going to tell him where I was so that he could pick me up? I sighed.

"I'm somewhere safe."

"Babe."

I didn't know if RangeMan's equipment could track a caller's location on their cell phones, so I disconnected and turned my cell phone off. Okay, so I'd mostly disconnected because there was nothing I could say to Ranger that would make him see things my way, but I also didn't want to be found after coming so far.

The couch was too short and too narrow to get really comfortable, so I tossed and turned a while to find a position I could relax in. I could hear Briggs snoring in his bedroom. And I wondered if I'd really done the right thing. I could be sleeping in my own bed, or in one of RangeMan's guest beds, without anything to fear. Instead I'd chosen to take on a psycho all by myself. A guy I knew nothing about, not even his motives. Then I realized I wouldn't be any happier if I were well protected, I'd feel helpless. And I'd spend my time thinking about Joe and probably crying my eyes out. No thanks. I'd had enough self pity to last me a lifetime. At least this way, I was doing something.

I turned and hit my hand on the coffee table. I didn't think I was going to get any rest.

At some point though, I must have fallen asleep because I was startled awake by a sudden noise. It was dark all around me and I couldn't quite figure out where I was. Struggling to wake up completely, I rubbed my eyes. "Hello?" I said, feeling quite stupid.

"Go back to sleep, Cupcake, it was just a bad dream."

My breath caught in my throat.

"Joe????" I was close to tears.

"Yeah, I'm here, Cupcake, it's okay."

I felt his strong arms around me and sobbed, falling back against his chest.

"Joe!"