Thank you so much for your reviews, I am so glad you're sharing your thoughts. I tried my best to write faster so the cliffhanger wasn't out there for too long. Let me know what you think.

Vielen Dank, dear Stayce, for your support and ideas!

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot. And sadly, there's no money in the plot.

Rating: R for adult language and situations. Then there's the angst and the drama…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 4

"I'll wake you more often in the middle of the night if that's the welcome I'll get" Joe said and hugged me tight. A sob escaped my mouth as I squeezed him with all my strength.

"Uh, Cupcake? I need some air…" Joe said, his mouth close to my ear, his hands on my back. I could feel his smile against my skin.

I loosened my hold on him a little, but did not move otherwise. "I thought you were DEAD!" I wailed.

"It was just a dream." Joe reassured me and trailed kisses down from my ear to my shoulder. I shivered at the sensation and took his face into my hands. I had to look at him, make sure he was really there. He smiled at me and lowered his mouth to mine. Our tongues met and I sunk into his arms completely. When his hands wandered down my back to cup my ass, I moaned into his mouth.

Joe pulled back and studied me for a minute. "You've been crying." He said, his eyebrows almost meeting in a frown.

I nodded, my throat tight. I'd never been happier to see him and I was about to cry tears of joy.

"I thought you were dead." I repeated. Joe traced my cheek bone with his thumb, smiling again.

"And that made you cry?" he asked, winking.

I punched his shoulder lightly and returned his smile.

"I thought I had to take care of Bob all by myself!" I teased, and Joe chuckled. Then he claimed my mouth again and let his hands do the talking. One wandered between my legs and started something magical. The kiss grew hotter, Joe's tongue was exploring my mouth, and I felt warm in all the right places. I placed my hands on his shoulders and let them slide down, loving the feel of his warm skin under my palms.

Joe's hand cupped my left breast and I gasped.

I woke up hugging the couch cushion tight, the sun was streaming in through the blinds.

It had been a dream.

As reality hit, new tears welled up in my eyes and a sense of dread settled on me. It had felt so real! I'd heard his voice, I'd seen his chocolate brown eyes, I'd felt his touch!!! My fingers flew up to my mouth were I could still feel Joe's lips.

I wailed and burrowed my face into the cushion, pounding the couch around it with my fists.

The dream had been the most vivid one I'd ever had, it was all there. And now it made me realize what I had lost once again, everything I would never see or feel again.

I cried until my throat was sore and my eyes were burning. I wanted to fall back asleep and see Joe, at least in my dreams, but I was completely awake now.

It was 7 o'clock, and I realized I didn't have time to sleep anyway. I had to get ready and…I didn't exactly know what I was going to do, but somehow, I had to find the identity of my stalker. If nothing else, the dream had fueled my resolve. I owed it to Joe to find his killer; I couldn't leave that to the cops.

I turned my cell phone back on and got up to make coffee. There was no noise from Randy's bedroom, probably he was sleeping in. I got the coffee started and went to the bathroom. I hadn't had time to pack a change of clothes, so I had to dress in the clothes I'd slept in. If I had stayed at Ranger's, I would now at least have the benefit of his great shower gel and plush towels instead of Briggs' Ivory soap and K-Mart towels. I realized I was about to second guess my decision again and mentally slapped myself. I grimaced and told myself to get over it.

By the time I'd tamed my hair into a pony tail without the help of any products and came out of the bathroom, Randy had found the coffee and was sitting on the couch with a cup, wearing his Spiderman PJ's. He looked quite cute. I joined him after pouring a cup for myself.

"Can you reroute my phone calls from my home phone to my cell phone remotely?" I asked, jumping right in. I had realized that I may miss too many phone calls if I wasn't at home; Asshole had only ever called my land line.

"Jeez, good morning to you, too. Would you give me a minute to wake up here?" Randy asked sarcastically.

Oh great, I thought, he wasn't a morning person. Normally, I'd be right with him, but right now, I didn't have time to let the day start slowly.

"I kinda need it done right away," I said, "I don't want to miss another call from the psycho."

Briggs shook his head and put his cup on the table. He shimmied off the couch and sat down at his desk, starting up his laptop.

He typed in a couple commands, asked me my phone numbers and continued typing. After a few minutes, he came back to the couch. "There, you happy now, toots? Is it okay if I have my coffee now?"

I thanked him and finished my coffee without saying anything else to piss him off, reminding myself that I needed him and couldn't afford to be snippy.

I didn't have to wait long; my cell phone started buzzing minutes later. I checked the readout, since I had no intention of talking to anyone but the stalker.

When I saw the number, I groaned. Not the asshole, but Ranger. Again. Maybe there was a chance he'd calmed down by now? But what did I have to say to him? I'd already told him I was safe. I hadn't changed my mind about not telling him where I was. If I talked to him now, I would make him angrier than he probably already was. My dream had left me too rattled to be reasonable right now. There was a chance I was going to explode if pressure was applied.

I sighed and let the call go to voicemail.

"Was that your secret admirer?" Randy asked. He had gotten up and was now standing on a step ladder in the kitchen, rinsing his cup.

"No, just a friend." I said. "Just out of morbid curiosity, is it theoretically possible to pinpoint my location when I'm on a cell phone?"
Randy thought about it for a moment, then he nodded. "Yeah, with the right equipment and people who know what they're doing…" his eyes grew wide. "You don't think your stalker's tracking you and is on his way over, do you? Because in that case, you'd have to leave."

I could feel the love. "No, this is a different guy and he wants to find me to get me away from stalker guy." I explained. It didn't sound all that sane when I said it out loud.

Randy looked like he needed more of an explanation, but what could I tell him? If I explained my reasons for being here, I was likely to convince myself my plan would never work and I should be running back to Ranger, begging for his help. So not gonna happen.

I shrugged. "It's complicated. So how long do you think it takes to track someone's location?" I figured a change of topic was in order. For some reason, I thought it took two minutes to trace a call. That's what they always said on TV. I was hoping it was true, I was going to stick to it.

Randy shrugged. "I guess I can find out. I never had much use for that kind of information. I'm more interested in tracking IP addresses."

I didn't know what that meant and I didn't care. I needed some time by myself, to figure out my next steps. Staying with Briggs had sounded like a good idea the night before, but now I wasn't so sure. It wouldn't take Ranger long to find me here. He would be asking Lula, and Lula would finally come up with Briggs. If not this morning, then maybe this afternoon.

I felt silly for hiding from Ranger. If I thought there was even the smallest possibility that he would listen to me I'd call him right now and ask him to pick me up. But there wasn't. He would take me to RangeMan and expect me to hide until he'd taken care of the danger. It was how he worked. His goal was to keep me safe and alive, and he wouldn't listen to my opinion on the matter. I wanted me to be safe and alive, too, but I wanted to be the one to get me there, I didn't want to hide and wait for Ranger to take care of everything. I owed it to Joe! That thought kept repeating itself in my head, giving me the necessary strength to go on.

I grabbed my cell phone and got up.

"Thank you for your help, I think I better leave now." I said. Briggs looked a little surprised and shook his head. "You sure change your mind fast." But he didn't try to make me stay. Probably he was glad I was leaving. I didn't tell him, but I was grateful that for once there was no argument.

Since he didn't have any clothes that would possibly fit me, I didn't have a coat on when I stepped out of the foyer. I stood in front of Randy's apartment building in the frosty morning air and tried to come up with a place to go.

Hitching my shoulder bag up higher, I decided I needed a car first. Everybody I know knows to hotwire a car, except for me. I'd have to get one the legal way. I wondered if I could risk going back to my place, maybe Ranger wouldn't expect that. I had my car sitting in the parking lot. But then I remembered I didn't have my keys with me, so I'd have to go back into my apartment. I was pretty sure one or more Merry Men would be somewhere in or around my building. A quick drive-away may have been possible, but any more would be tempting fate. I sighed. That plan was out.

I walked up Sylvan Avenue to get to Watson, where I hoped to get a cab. I didn't feel comfortable out on the street, Ranger's men could be anywhere. I tried to tell myself I was just paranoid, but that didn't calm me down.

Once I got a cab, I could decide where to go. My hope was that I'd think of a place to go by then.

I had to walk all the way to Olden before a cab would stop. I yanked the door open and got into the back with a heavy sigh. The driver met my eyes in the rearview mirror, looking at me questioningly, waiting for me to tell him my destination.

I didn't have one, so I told him to take me to the bus depot. That would bring me to downtown at least. Maybe I'd go to New York, I figured.

Ranger could be looking all over Trenton for me, I'd have to put some distance between us.

I was rubbing my hands to get some warmth back into them when my cell phone rang. I checked the readout and my heart skipped a beat. It said: forwarded call, caller unknown. It could be him.

I took a deep breath and made myself wait for the third ring before I picked up.

"You're hiding." It was him! My mind went blank. "Trying to make me play hide 'n' seek?" he asked. I was still trying to come up with a response, any response.

"How do you know?" I finally asked.

"I know everything about you." This made me shiver. Not just what he said, but the creepy voice he said it in. Had I been a man, my gonads would have been creeping north.

I remembered I was trying to lure him out, so I swallowed hard.

"Everything? You must really like me." Ugh. That was about the hardest thing I ever had to say. I must have taken him by surprise because there was a moment of silence. Had I overdone it? Was I being too obvious?

"I know the man in your life wasn't good enough for you. I know the man who is trying to be in your life isn't good enough for you."

I had to bite into my lip to stifle a sob at the mention of Joe. What I really wanted to do was cuss this asshole out, but instead, I forced my voice to be calm when I said "And you think you're good enough for me?"

I was hoping that had come out the right way. Not as if I doubted him, not as if I believed him. Neutral. Curious. Even though I was neither.

"You bet I am. No long now, Angel, and you will find out." And he disconnected. I felt bile rise in my throat and my hands were ice cold. I wanted to throw my phone away or at least bathe it in Clorox. And I wanted to tell the cab driver I'd changed my mind, to take me straight to Haywood where I could hide at RangeMan. I took some deep breaths and willed myself to calm down, since the driver was already giving me curious looks in the rearview mirror.

The taxi dropped me off at the bus depot and I was standing around like a runaway teenager with nowhere to go, chewing my lower lip and freezing my ass off. I decided to think it over where it was warmer and took off for the coffee shop.

The Trenton bus depot is really just a glorified name for a big bus stop. A couple berths and a ticket booth, an adjacent coffee shop that doubled as a waiting room. Trenton's door to the world.

A few minutes later I was warming my hands on the Styrofoam coffee cup and thought over my options. The latest phone call had me pretty freaked, although I was trying hard not to show it, even to myself.

I went down the list of my family members, then I went down my list of friends. I still felt ridiculous to be hiding from Ranger, to be attempting to outsmart the best there is. Since ridicule felt too much like self pity, I was able to stash the emotion away pretty fast. But I still hadn't come up with a place to go.

I thought about Connie and her mob affiliations. I'd bet she knew people who could ship me off to China without anyone knowing. But I didn't know if I could trust Connie under the kind of pressure Ranger could apply. All Ranger would have to do is look at her in a certain way and Connie would melt, she's had a crush on Ranger since I met her. I was chewing my fingernails now, still none the wiser.

I was sure Lula knew plenty of people in the underbelly of Trenton, but she was seeing Tank, Ranger's right-hand man. It didn't seem fair to make her choose between her loyalty to me and a relationship with Tank.

My best friend, Mary Lou, probably had a RangeMan SUV parked outside her house, just like my family. Joe's cousin Mooch probably had connections as well, but nothing could make me approach a member of the Morelli family.

I thunked my head on the yellow Formica table to get my brain to work.

The easiest way to get a car was Dougie 'the dealer' Kruper. It was also the only way I knew how to get a cheap car. Unless…I dug into my shoulder bag. No checkbook. Damn. I couldn't get even the cheapest car at a regular, legal, dealership without a check. I really needed a car. I hadn't used public transportation since I was riding school buses. But I realized I couldn't risk taking a cab to Dougie's.

I looked out the window of the coffee shop at the waiting buses. One was going to New York City. That still sounded like a good idea, but what would I do there? I didn't have any close friends in New York, and it wasn't any safer than Trenton. I sighed and regretted leaving Randy's house so quickly.

Another bus arrived and I watched as the passengers got off. A woman about my age got off the bus and rushed into the arms of a waiting man. He was as tall as Joe and had dark hair. That was enough to make tears well up in my eyes again. I looked at the couple and realized what I would never have again.

I was debating if I could risk showing up at Dougie's after all, when my eyes wandered over a poster on the wall. It was advertising gyros, 'the Greek treat', and showed a Mediterranean-looking man eating a gyros sandwich in front of a Greek ruin. It gave me an idea. A long time ago, someone had told me how nice Greece was. It was a long shot, but what the hell. It couldn't hurt to ask.

I flipped open my phone to call Connie at the office. Then I snapped it close again because I was still paranoid about RangeMan's tracking abilities and went over to the payphone by the restrooms instead.

"Connie, it's me." I said quickly when the phone was answered.

"Where are you? Is everything okay?" She asked. Shit, she knew.

"I'm fine, I just need a favor. Can you look up a number for me?"
There was a pause on the other end. Connie never paused when I asked her for a number or address. I heard some rustling and then a voice I didn't want to hear.

"Babe." Ranger said. Shit, shit! I hung up the phone with a bang. Then I wondered what the hell I was doing, why I hadn't at least listened to what Ranger had to say. Now I got the strange feeling in my stomach, like my spidey-sense was going into overdrive. I scanned the coffee shop, but couldn't spot anyone who was even looking at me. Maybe my paranoia was taking over, I figured.

I took my seat again, gnawing on my lip, when my cell phone rang. Three guesses who it is, I thought on a sigh, but decided to quit the children's games and picked up.

"Yo."

"Don't hang up." Ranger said. I wasn't going to. Yeesh. "Where are you?" I sighed.

"Still in Trenton." Although I was eyeing the bus to New York again.

"You've made your point. Let's talk." Ranger said.

Well, that exactly was the problem, I had nothing to say. I could tell Ranger what I had in mind, but he would be against it. And he may be able to convince me otherwise, and Joe's killer would go free.

"What is there to say?" I asked, realizing too late that I had said it out loud.

"What are you running from?" Ranger's tone was softer now, and I could imagine his eyes on me as he said it. 'You' I wanted to say, but that wasn't true.

"You want to lock me up!" I blurted out, knowing fully well that I was oversimplifying.

"Babe." Ranger said. He wasn't exactly denying it.

I focused my eyes on the big clock above the door, still hanging on to the two-minute notion I had in my head, just in case. Then again…"Are you tracing this call?"

Ranger didn't respond. I took that as a yes.

"If I asked you to stop looking for me, would you do it?"

"No." His bluntness surprised me; I'd expected him to convince me I needed to be found.

"Please, Ranger?" I could already feel tears well up in my eyes again and I was unable to keep it out of my voice.

"Let me help you, Babe." He said and his voice was barely above a whisper. I put my forehead on the table and closed my eyes.

"I need to do this alone." I pressed out. Then I disconnected. This made it the third time I'd hung up on Ranger. What I'd said wasn't even true, I wanted nothing more than to accept his help, I hated being alone in this. But I wanted to work with him, I didn't want him to swoop in and take over. I let out a frustrated sigh, my head still on the table.

Suddenly, I could name the tingly feeling I'd gotten earlier. It felt like someone was watching me. I had to get out of here.

Connie was out; since I was sure Ranger had given her instructions to call him right away if she heard from me. I was trying to come up with another friend who might have connections, mentally going through everyone I knew again. Vinnie! I frowned. Vinnie didn't have…oh, wait a minute, Vinnie was married to Lucille, and Lucille was Harry the Hammer's daughter. In Trenton, you couldn't get much closer to the Family than Harry. Harry was once rumored to be the Godfather of Trenton. He would have to have some sort of hideaway, I figured. I hadn't talked to Lucille since the last family reunion a couple years ago, but it wasn't like I had many other options. Even if I'd talked to her yesterday, there wasn't a subtle way to ask if her father could help me.

I was pretty sure Vinnie would be at the office by now, so I dialed his home number.

Lucille answered on the third ring and I took a deep breath for courage.

"Hi Lucille, it's Stephanie."

"Oh Stephanie," she said, her voice already in the tone I've gotten to know quite well in the past days, "I'm sooo sorry. Is there anything I can do for you? Are you calling for Vinnie? He's at the office."

I had to smile; Lucille was a nervous talker, just like I was.

"No, I was calling to talk to you…um…actually to your dad. Do you know how I can get in touch with him?" I held my breath waiting for her answer. Lucille didn't respond right away, probably wondering if she'd heard me right.

Not only had I never called Vinnie's house to speak to her, I'd never even talked to her dad at all. I was trying to use my own family connections for all they were worth.

"Um…sure…he should be home…" and she gave me his number. I could hear the question mark in her voice the whole time, but I didn't explain myself. Let her wonder about my sanity, I figured.

I disconnected after assuring her I'd give my mom Lucille's best. That had gone sort of well. Of course now I still had the hardest part ahead of me, but I felt like I was going somewhere with this.

I was reminding myself not to call him Harry the Hammer; I didn't know if that was a name he liked to be called to his face. I didn't know what to call him, now I couldn't even remember his last name. I took a sip of coffee and wished it was something stronger, and then I punched in his number. I was afraid I'd lose my courage if I waited too long. Of course there was a chance I'd come up with a better idea, but I doubted it.

The line was answered without a greeting, and I wasn't really surprised.

"Harry?"

"Who wants to know?" There's something comforting about old school mobsters, I thought. They talk like the Sopranos.

"This is Stephanie Plum, Lucille's cousin, well technically…"
"I know who you are." He cut me off. I swallowed. Okay then.

"I need your help…" I'd wanted to make some small talk first, but I didn't know what to say. So I just spit it out.

"I see." He said. Now for the hard part, I thought. How do you ask a stranger for help, based on his reputation?

"I need to…get away from it all for a while. Gather my thoughts. Trouble is, I don't have much money. I was wondering if…if…if you maybe have a place you're not using right now…" Boy, when I said it out loud, it sounded really dumb. It'd almost be better if I'd asked him for money.

"You need a place to stay? You in some kind of trouble?"

"No…Yes…I mean, I'm not in trouble, but I need a place to stay and I realize this is kinda…" what exactly was it? Unexpected? Surprising?

"What kind of trouble? You need me to talk to someone?" He asked when I'd almost decided he was going to hang up and ask his daughter what king of crazy relatives she had.

I had an idea what he meant by 'talking', he was famous in the Burg. Growing up, I heard stories about what happened when Harry talked to someone. They had a strange way of disappearing for a long time. Like forever.

"No, um, nothing like that, it's just that…I need to lay low for a while." I thought I'd sounded like an extra from a mafia movie, but Harry was satisfied.

"How about Atlantic City?" He asked without hesitation.

"Yes," I said, "Atlantic City would be nice." I couldn't think of anything better to say.

"They keep a suite for me at the Taj Mahal. Tell them I sent you, tell them you're there to keep the bed sheets warm for me." I sucked in some air. "Don't worry, nothing personal, but that's what you have to say if you want to get the key."

I could sense his smile on the other end. I had a hard time not gagging, but I was telling myself he wasn't going to be there and it was not like he was an uncle or something.

"Okay…" I said slowly. All in all, this was going better than expected. I guess random people calling him asking for help wasn't all that unusual for Harry.

"You can stay as long as you want, but you'll owe me." Harry said. Ugh. Was I about to sell my soul or something? My palms were sweaty. If he was gonna ask for sexual favors I was gonna tell him to forget the whole thing. What if he'd want me to whack someone for him? How deep would I be indebted to him?

"I might just call you for a favor some day. You may not want to refuse that favor."

Oh, someday I could handle, I thought. Probably it was in the mob handbook to say something like that anyway. "Of course not. I really appreciate your help. Thank you." I said and we disconnected.

I was pretty sure he wouldn't share our conversation with anyone, but I hadn't dared to ask him to keep it quiet. I'd just have to trust him.

It felt good to have a destination. And I liked Atlantic City. I wouldn't have any money to gamble, but I'd have a place to stay and think. And with any luck, I'd be a step ahead of Ranger.

I finished my coffee and checked the schedule. A bus was to leave for Atlantic City in an hour. I bought a one-way ticket, forcing myself not to look over my shoulder for Ranger or the Merry Men. I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched, but I figured Ranger would have come forward by now.

The bus pulled in ten minutes before it was scheduled to leave and I boarded right away. I glanced around to make sure nobody I knew was around the depot or on the bus. Since most people I knew owned their own cars, chances were slim. But I still felt better when I didn't recognize anyone.

I'd bought a magazine and was now hiding behind my Cosmo. It wasn't going to last me the whole two and a half hours, but 'How men express their feelings in bed' would keep my mind distracted for at least a while. I didn't want time to think.

We hadn't even left Trenton when the steady hum of the engine lulled me to sleep. I woke up when the bus stopped at the Atlantic City station and it took me a moment to remember where I was. Thankfully, my nap had been dreamless, so I didn't repeat the morning's performance. I didn't want anyone to remember me. There weren't many people on the bus, and a woman without a coat crying in her sleep may have been too memorable.

I shouldered my bag and stepped out onto Atlantic Avenue. It was a mile to the hotel, and under normal circumstances I wouldn't have hesitated to call a cab, but for some reason, I wanted to walk. I love Atlantic City, and even though it was November and barely noon, there were a lot of people around. I wanted to stretch my legs after the long bus ride. What I expected was some distraction by watching other people. What I wasn't prepared for was remembering Joe at every corner. The last time I'd been to Atlantic City, it was with Joe. I bit my lip to prevent a sob that was rising in my chest and sped up. The sooner I got to the hotel, the better.

Breathing got a little easier when I got to the boardwalk and I could focus on the ocean.

I finally walked past the familiar fountains in front of the Taj Mahal. They didn't look all that spectacular during the day. I entered the casino in search of the hotel lobby. I'd never stayed in any of the big hotels on the boardwalk, so it took me some time to navigate.

I managed to ask for Harry's room as if it was the most normal thing in the world, although my heart was beating double-time when I relayed the message about keeping his bed warm.

The front desk clerk just nodded and handed me a key. "Suite number 50110 on the 50th floor." He said as if he'd been expecting me. Maybe Harry had called ahead to announce me. I bit my tongue to bite back the urge to tell the clerk I was not Harry's piece, no matter what the situation looked like. I was here for a reason, I told myself, who cared what the front desk thought?

It took a while to get to the room, through the casino floor and up the tower, but it was worth the effort: the room was a Grand Suite and was bigger than my apartment. The floor-to-ceiling windows looked out on the ocean under a grey sky.

I felt grungy and realized I needed clean clothes before I could take a shower, and I didn't want to leave the room after I'd just gotten there. It would have to wait.

I dropped my bag and let myself fall onto the bed spread eagle. For the first time since I left my own apartment, I felt safe. I didn't know how much time I'd bought, but the quiet felt good around me for the time being.

I was lying in my thinking position, staring at the taupe ceiling covered with beige stars when a knock on the door startled me up. No one knew I was here. I didn't have any luggage to bring up, and I hadn't called room service. And I still didn't have a gun. Probably I had forgotten to lock the door; I couldn't see if the deadbolt was thrown from the bed, the place was too big.

There was a second knock and I decided to at least check out who it was.