Twilight Perfection
Chapter 26 It's so lonely round the fields of Athenry.
FN: "Fields of Athenry" is the name of a song, the covered version of which by Dropkick Murphy's I have heard. All of the lines associated with particular characters come from the song. This chapter may seem slightly fractured, and I guess it is. But basically it was meant to be read, of all of the characters and their thoughts (most of which center on Sephiroth) right after their escape from Junon.
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By a lonely prison wall. (Niro)
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"I was only following orders."
It's one of the first things that humans learn how to say, and it's meaning is clear. It means that you weren't directly responsible for whatever you did, as if anyone would believe that. The phrase gives no clues who gave the orders nor does it matter, there's always someone higher up. You can trace through an entire army like that, each person saying they were only following the orders of leader above them.
Then you get to the person who should by all rights be in charge, but he says he was only following orders of the politicians. The politicians say they were only following orders of the people who elected them. If there aren't any politicians you go to a king, and he says he's just following the orders of god. I think that if god had some orders to give, he would let everyone know instead of just those in power.
Humanity needs to get over themselves and realize that the ability to "think" (an ability only possessed by a few of them) should mean they have to take responsibility. But humanity evidently disagrees with me, they want to have their cake and eat it to. Have the ability to think, yet kill each other for reasons that animals don't even care about. How is it that humanity can keep claiming innocence while blood drips down their fingers?
Of course I've killed a lot of people, but what do I care, I'm not human. If you aren't me then your life's value is practically negligible, that's the way your average human mind works, I just got rid of the "practically". I won't say I'm following orders, even though to a certain extent I am, because I was told to join these people, which I have. True or not, it's still a pathetic, human excuse. I have a better one.
I'm not following orders, I'm a thinking being, I don't have to follow if I don't want to, or at least now I don't. That makes me a higher form of life then you pathetic human worms, who somehow believe that because you where given an order you have to follow it. If humanity is incapable of resisting an order they have been given, then what right have they to call themselves sentient? With that in mind, what makes a human life worth any more or less then that of an ant?
Sephiroth understood that, if you traced the "I followed orders" up to him, he would tell you that he gave the orders. I'll never believe anyone who says Sephiroth had an inflated ego because he thought the world rotated around him, he was a realist. He was General, the world did rotate around him, and he realized it, and acted accordingly.
Sephiroth understood that if he just followed orders it would make him no better then what he fought. Of course he only realized that because he had followed orders for most of his life, and is only now realizing what it means to be a sentient being. He deserved to live more of his life like that, everyone does, in theory. But too many humans seem to resist sentience, falling in line is a safer way to live. So humans huddle together like sheep, and then moan and blame the wolves that prey on them for their own suffering.
How pathetic, so far beneath me that it's unworthy of pity, they deserve my contempt. Humanity thinks that just because their ancestors managed to claw their way to the top of the evolutionary ladder that they can just sit there in comfort, the complacent fools. Evolution is always moving, you stand still you get left behind. Even if it's because evolution has been given a jump-start like me, like James. James is sterile, or at least he can't conceive because he's the only member of his race.
I'm not, If I take a human form, the chromosomes line up. I'm not sure what it is about me that lets me shift, that lets me slam new DNA into place like a cartridge into a rifle and watch the effects, but it might be genetic. My children (if I ever have any) might be able to shift like I can. I hope you realize that humanity, I hope you realize that you have to keep moving as fast as you can just to stay where you are.
Sephiroth was a better representation than humanity disserved. He was able to break out of his cycle, stop following orders and listen to his own mind. Hell, just because James' genetic code has been shot to pieces along with all the people who actually made him, doesn't mean it can't be done again. You should get down on your knees and worship Sephiroth, humans; he was out there fighting for your entire race.
But you don't like to worship fighters any more, not when fighting effects you. Shinra, you don't have the right to do the things you've done to humanity. You've made them go soft, both in the body and in the mind, that goes against the laws of evolution. You'll destroy humanity if you keep this up, just look at Meteor. For Sephiroth, so that humanity will keep fighting, I'll burn you to the ground. Life would be too boring otherwise.
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I herd a young girl calling (Mirri)
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"You look a little bit young for a SOLDIER." Mirri "Catwarrior" Lufkin was 18 years old, as of a few weeks ago. She was tall for a girl, but at 21 years old, General Sephiroth towered over her. He didn't have bulging muscles, in fact he looked rather lanky, as if he had grown too tall a touch too fast. But then, this was a man who had killed countless people; the ice in his eyes and the long sword strapped to his back were testament to that fact.
The word "deference" was not in Mirri's vocabulary, "respect" was, however. "General Sir, I'm 18 years old, you're three years older then me and you've been fighting in this war for four years. I'll congratulate you on graduating your training at the same age I started mine." A pair of green eyes not used to being disobeyed met a pair of green eyes not used to being cowed. Mirri's words were not to be taken as a compliment and they both knew it.
It was an incredibly taboo subject to mention among Shinra, most of whom at the moment thought that Sephiroth could walk on water, but it was true that Sephiroth had been given no training. He had no patronage, no parents, no family; he had just arrived one day and started fighting till he had reached the rank of general.
He had turned around a war that Shinra had been losing badly despite better weapons and more men. He looked Mirri up and down again, she had reached the rank of first class SOLDIER entirely through training and had yet to have a baptism of fire, and Sephiroth knew it, and didn't like it. "General, if you didn't know, I come from Corel." That of course got no reaction, Sephiroth would have known it and known what it meant.
"I know of course that neither you nor Shinra was responsible for what happened, the people of Corel were. I moved out before it happened, and find myself more at home in Midgar then I ever did in Corel." "Why?" Sephiroth was pacing around her while Mirri had to stay perfectly still, but Mirri expected this and didn't let it unnerve her.
"Because I love Sector Six. If a man mistakes me for a harlot instead of a SOLDIER I can cut his balls off, beat him to a bloody pulp throw him in a dumpster, and nobody cares. I love living in a world where I'm free to do whatever I want to people who annoy me and nobody cares. The only thing possibly better then that for me is war, because killing isn't only allowed, but encouraged."
Sephiroth met her eyes looking down at her from his height. "You're an amoral sadist." Mirri stayed perfectly still, kept her voice neutral. "I find those words without insult, General, simply an accurate description of my views. I also would wish to point out that the goal of war is to hurt the other side. Thus, a sadist would seem to be exactly what you need. As for morals, I find they have more to do with children's stories then the real world. I have my views, and I believe in keeping them."
Sephiroth's eyes hardened at this, but Mirri continued. "I also would like to say sir, that my traits are only shocking to you because I'm female. If you bothered to examine most men you would find a great many of them are amoral sadists. If you wish further proof you could accompany me into Sector Six from a good distance some time. A great many men like to pleasure themselves at the expense of women, to the point that it is accepted by society and given a name.
I simply believe that turnabout is fair play. As a first class SOLDIER my strength, speed, and stamina far surpass any normal human's. It's no more fair for a man to corner a women in a dark alley then it is for me to lift that man over my head, and snap his spine with my bare hands. The women has as about as much chance against a group of men like the one I mentioned before, as does a group of the guys friends when they try to help their pal and end up getting sliced apart by my blades.
If you chose to see this interpretation of my amoral sadism as a crime, I chose to see it as a very fitting brand of justice. Sir, some people have incorrectly told me that I hate the entire male sex, those people are incorrect. The men who say such are usually men who have attempted to gain my affections through means not severe enough to make me harm them."
Sephiroth went back to pacing around Mirri. "You realize that we can't have you harming my own men." "Sir, if your men have proper military discipline there should be no reason for me to harm them. Also, first class SOLDIERS recover from wounds much more quickly. I can assure you, if I kill any of them, then I'm doing a service to Shinra." "If I might be frank Mirri, what did you psychological record have to say?"
"Sir, my psyche examinations was given to me by a woman, and I also happen to have spent some of my time studying psychology. We had a fun time discussing the castration complex, and I got a rubber stampeded perfectly suited for combat." Sephiroth stopped again and glared at Mirri, more disapproving of Shinra's practices than of her in particular. "So you got lucky." "Sir, getting lucky is what keeps you alive in combat. Don't you agree?"
Sephiroth gave Mirri one final look and raised his eyebrow just the slightest fraction. "So your suggesting I rubber stamp you ready for combat, and hope you get lucky?" "Not at all, sir!"
Mirri's perfectly still posture instantly gave way to fluid motion. Blades instantly sprung from her otherwise unremarkable white gloves. She stepped towards Sephiroth who still had his hands in front of him, his blade on his back, and no effective way to stop her. Her left hand was caught less than an inch from his neck, and her right was ready to plunge into his chest and rip out any organ she wanted to. Then, her universe hiccoughed. Sephiroth's left hand caught her under the chin and flung her headlong at the wall. Mirri pivoted in midair and landed with both feet flat on the wall, then leapt, landing effortlessly in front of him. She continued, her voice still flat and matter-of-fact.
"General, I'm not just lucky, I'm good. The problem with most amoral sadists is that they spend too much time taking pride in hurting others and not enough perfecting how to hurt. That, and they set their sights too low, they settle for hurting too few people. There's an entire army out there for me to mutilate, masticate, spit back out, and then swallow whole. The possibilities make me downright giddy! You see, that's another failing of most amoral sadists, they aren't opportunists, and insist on seeking out people to hurt. I find that I can gather a fine collection of potential victims around me, just by being myself." Sephiroth regarded her for a moment, then turned and left, saying "No more rubber stamps, only wings. Welcome to the choir, Seraph."
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Mirri looked out at what was left of Corel from a good distance. You didn't go close to people who wanted to kill you. "General, it was a pleasure to serve you in this lifetime, and any others to come. I swear I'll give Shinra one for you, even if it means I have to give them one less for me. And don't worry, Lufkins have beaten Shinra before, we'll do it again."
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"Where once we once watched the free birds flying." (Melkore)
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"Welcome to the Valar, the greatest ship formerly at Shinra's disposal!" It was the greatest ship, and Melkore wasn't just saying that because he made the plans for it. Nor was he saying that just because he had personally overseen the work to build the ship. He also wasn't saying that because he had commanded that ship once before, and was doing it again! He was saying it because he had done all three of those things! He was now in command of the Valar once again, and he would be kicking the crap out of Shirna, something he always wanted to do with this ship!
Its armaments consisted of several side mounted rapid fire cannons to get rid of monsters that bothered the Valar. It had front mounted missiles to destroy heavier targets. It had room for lots and lots of troops not to mention lots and lots of supplies. Thus the group didn't have any need for roommates. Which didn't stop Melkore from asking Mirri about the possibility.
Sadly Mirri had countered this with a ploy that Melkore had expected. Okay it hadn't been the one he had totally expected. He had expected Mirri to say okay, then proceed to take her "claws" and draw a territorial line that split the room in half. This would possibly be followed with what Alex would call "scent marking" but Melkore could think of a lot of other names. As it turned out, Mirri had already chosen James to be her roommate, and so no territorial lines were needed, James had already been marked as Mirri's.
Mirri may like to think of herself as a female cat, but she knew that most others thought of her as a female dog. Normally, being so thoroughly thwarted would be incredibly annoying to Melkore, but this time he got over it quickly. He had his ship back. You just didn't get your ship and get to use your greatest weapon in one day most of the time. He had everything he wanted, now he wanted to do some damage with it. Sephiroth would have wanted it this way.
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Our love was on the wing, we had dreams and songs to sing. (James)
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The cell was supposed to be soundproof, but it wasn't airtight, and thus James' ears let him hear anything he wanted to. He wasn't truly interested in hearing what the other were saying outside, at least not while he was busy. He was very busy at the moment, tracing a ball of yarn all the way back to its starting point, at which point it was no long a ball of yarn but a very long string.
Still James did keep an ear open to conversation, he was naturally curious. "How is he doing?" "Good, same as always." "Aggression levels?" "Same as always, they almost never leave the blue." "seratonin production?" "Still going strong." "So he's happy?" "More or less." "Sorry it's just..."
"You expected something like Sephiroth." "Who didn't?' "He isn't Sephiroth, he isn't even human." "He's more human then Sephiroth ever seemed to be." "But he isn't." "Goddammit, that's the problem, do you realize what it means?" "We've succeeded."
"Yes, but what next? Not just one subject, but more, commando squads of them for high risk assignments. Armies of him to save human life. Then why not use them for any task that requires manual labor? He's stronger then most humans, his metabolism is more effective, and he's not human. Then what happens next? So his aggression level is low, people can only be pushed so far. Sooner or later if we create an entire working class of people like him just to pick up trash we toss on the ground, they won't stand for it." "He isn't a person."
"He isn't human, that doesn't make him any less humane. He doesn't disserve to have this done to him, and sooner or later all humanity will pay for it." "If that happens we'll be long dead by then." "We can only hope. Maybe we should just kill him, destroy all this lab and tell Shinra we failed." "Actually, I've got another suggestion. I kill all of you, destroy all the equipment, and let him go."
"GENERAL SEPHIROTH!" "Yes gentlemen, reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated." "What the hell are you doing hearrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh." The question turned into a scream, which turned into a gurgle. James slowly dropped his ball of yarn and watched it bounce across the floor, whatever was happening was important, he knew it somehow. There was a great silence that followed, and finally that new voice spoke again.
"I'm afraid that it will be your turn next doctor, not that I care." "Thank you." "Why?" "Because you gave me a way out. In fact, there's a poetic justice about it. You could probably take care of him better then anyone else. I'll die happy knowing that." "He doesn't need to be taken care of, he's a killer." "Say that when you meet him."
There was a very long silence, and then slowly the door opened. The man on the other side was a lot different from the doctor's James had been used to seeing. He was taller then the tallest of the doctors, and he wore black instead of white. The really long sword in his hand looked pretty threatening, too. James wanted to dive for his ball of yarn, it would be nice to hold it. That, or a squeaky rubber mouse.
This guy was impressive, and there was no other word for it. He looked down at James, not just because James was sitting down, but something odd was in his eyes. It was if he was piercing James' skin, bones, blood, and everything else he had. "Do you have a name?" James met those incredibly powerful green eyes, and gave the only answer he could. "Shinra official commando in training, model S. Reference code, 31888, JF, later designated as James Firecat. Who are you?"
The man raised an eyebrow in a mix between accusation and surprise. "I am General Sephiroth." "Shortened to Seph." It was a natural thing to James. Most people had first names only one or two syllables long. Sephiroth, that was how many long? Three? Four? He would have to count to be sure. Seph-ir-oth? That was three, at least, and "Sephir" didn't make any sense as a name so cut it down at the first syllable, just Seph.
Seph was doing that thing where he looked at James with those cold piercing green eyes, and even if James was wearing clothes he felt naked as the day he was born. Actually that wasn't such a good analogy, James had been made in a scientific version of a womb filled with mako, and had come out of it already wearing the clothes he wore. So, naked as the day most people were born.
James missed almost all of what Seph said but managed to catch the tail end of it. "Would you like to come with me?" James said what he thought about the entire situation. "Why not, sounds like fun!"
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James removed his hat and held it over his heart, one of the few gestures which being left handed meant you got right if you did it with your natural hand. He looked down at the world below from the deck of the Valar, and smiled sadly. "It's not so fun any more Seph, but I won't let that stop me."
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Nothing matters to me while you're free. (Aeris)
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Aeris had made sure to find James before she left the Valar. It wasn't that hard, Mirri may have gotten off near Corel, but James didn't have anywhere to go so he was still standing on the deck of the Valar. "James, about back in the lab?" James instantly spun, he had his hat in his left hand and his left ear cocked inquisitively towards Aeris. "What about back in the lab?"
Aeris summed up all her strength and spoke. "What Hojo did to you, was it like when Jenova attacked Sephiroth's mind?" The right ear cocked forward joining the left, which James took a moment to scratch. "I wouldn't know I'm not Seph...iroth, but I don't think so from what he told me. From what he told me, when Jenova hit him it was like being kicked between the legs, over and over again. With me, I just woke up and everything was 'blah' like watching the world without colors. Sorta like Alex sees it, I guess."
James slowly slipped his hat over his ears after he finished that statement. Aeris wasn't truly sure why she needed to know, but she could' stop herself. "Is that all? Then why did you listen to what Doctor Hojo said?" Even with his hat on, James managed to scratch his right ear with his right hand. "My mind wasn't working like that at the time, the question it was asking was 'why not?' So I just did it." "Why didn't you help me, James?"
Incredibly bright red eyes instead of incredibly dull ones, but eyes nonetheless unable to understand. They where not the dull eyes that had shown nothing while the hands killed five people, but they where just as unaware of fear or pain. The voice agreed with what the eyes had to say completely. "Well you weren't really in any danger. I couldn't use my wires to cut through the table without hurting you, so there wasn't any way I could free you, so I didn't."
How could you explain fear to child, how did you explain hatred? "James, you shouldn't have held me back, I knew what I was doing. Doctor Hojo didn't die from what Melkore did to him, he wouldn't have died from what Mirri did." "Don't worry about it Aeris, if we ever see him again, I swear to you I'll, just schkkkkkkk... his head right off!" Aeris wasn't sure if she detested herself or James more right then. As James spoke that word that had no meaning he made a dramatic gesture with his hands, with a result that Aeris the results of quite well if wires had been streaming from his gloves. She stood there looking at James and slowly asked her next question.
"When Mirri came in, why did you attack her?" Aeris slowly came to realize that if eyes where bright enough, they showed as little as empty ones. "For fun. We used to spar a lot when I had my scythe, but we haven't since I got my gloves. We always stopped when one of us had the other in a deathlock, though I almost never won. Whenever I was about to lose Mirri would say 'James don't make me kill you' and I would go slack."
Something that Aeris would have known and probably should have realized if she had paid more attention to either of them. "Why did you drink my blood?" Bright eyes, and childish logic. "Well I knew that one way or another nothing good could come from what Hojo wanted to do with it. That's why I was ready to stop him anytime he moved to hurt you. I figured there wasn't any way I could stop Shinra from getting even the smallest fraction of your blood at first.
But then I thought about something Vincent once told me, I think it was 'Never compromise your goals because of what you think you can't do.' So thinking about that, I wondered what Vincent would do in this situation, and then the answer was sort of obvious." Aeris took a moment to realize, that James hadn't feared for his life at any point in the entire escape.
"Thanks for helping us get out." "No problem, what are friends for? Besides it was really Mirri who did everything. She was the one who was locked in a cell wearing chains and separated from her weapons. I had my wires on me, an increase in my already impressive mako levels and Jenova cells count to play with, and was ready to leave as soon as I woke up." There was just one more question that Aeris had to ask before she could allow herself to be torn away from this conversation.
"James, how where you able to fight it off? Hojo said that thing he had on you made you dead to the world, and you looked just like it!" James smiled as he answered, a smile of supreme confidence. "Well it's like this Aeris. When everything was all 'blah' I couldn't really feel anything more then I could see anything. Except that there was something that seeing Mirri sparked in me. Something that told me I needed to tear that thing off my ear, and rip the entire base apart with my bare hands if I had to." Aeris couldn't keep bitterness out of her last question.
"Was it love?" James instantly shook his head so violently that, between the shakes and the wind blowing across the deck of the Valar, his hat came off. "Love? What's love? I've never been able to tell, myself, it's far too complicated, and this thing I felt was so simple, that even like I was, I grasped it instantly. It was blindingly simple, there wasn't any way that I could argue with it, even the way I was. It was loyalty." Aeris turned around and slowly began to walk off, not sure how she felt. Perhaps there were more kinds of purity in this world then she had ever thought beforehand.
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Mideel was a nice place for Aeris to stop and think. The town was left off more then a few maps and she had discovered it by accident, but it was where it should have been. It was on an island, and only could be reached by ship, or airship in this case. Thus Aeris was fairly certain nobody would recognize her by sight here, and it was so peaceful. "Sephiroth, do you see me?"
She knew that if anyone bothered to pay a lot of attention to her, she would look crazy, but she didn't care. When she was younger she used to hear people say she was crazy because the Planet's voice would strike her with more force. "Sephiroth, did you see me?" It wasn't that implausible, if Aeris could talk with the Planet itself through the Lifestream it was possible she could talk with a spirit in the Lifestream.
"Did you see how strong I was, Sephiroth?" Maybe it was a foolish thing to say regarding the situation when she looked over it a second time. James, Mirri and Niro had done most of the work. James and Mirri in breaking out and Niro in securing the Valar for the group. Even as they were breaking out, James and Mirri had done most of the fighting. James' wires and Mirri's blades had proved far more suitable for dealing with SOLDIERS and guards in corridors then Aeris' teeth and claws would have.
Particularly James' wires, in enclosed spaces he was able to tear through men who had spent more time training for combat then James had even been alive with no trouble at all. Just a smooth toss and twist, and men died before they even realized what killed them, which was probably a blessing. Still, unlike the last time in the City of the Ancients it stuck with Aeris.
She could feel it now, feel the silver light waiting or her to grasp it if she ever wanted to. Now she was sure that she could grasp anything Alex wanted to teach her, she knew the language, learning words was easy. "Sephiroth, I'm sorry that I couldn't kill Hojo for you. You're right, if there ever was a person who deserved to die, it was him. I promise I'll spend time with Alex so that I can learn and grow even stronger.
I promise that next time, Hojo won't get away from me. I promise that next time, next time I'll avenge you Sephiroth. I promise you I'll grow stronger, so that you won't have to worry about needing someone looking over my shoulder. I promise that I'll get stronger so that Shinra won't be able to make me serve them. Sephiroth, you gave everything you had to keep me safe. I promise you your sacrifice won't be for nothing, I will get stronger."
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"Against the famine and the crown, I rebel, they cut me down." (Alex)
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Alex was alone at the mouth of Cosmo Canyon. Looking down at the rock and stone that his parents had given their lives to defend. Looking down, he felt the pride that he would have a chance to commit deeds to equal the ones of those who had come before.
The huge rock in the sky signified many things, not the least of which was that one way or another things would come to a head. Very soon now, Fenris would shake lose from his chains and the entire world would be consumed in battle. It would be wonderful.
To himself, Alex repeated the time honored Get of Fenris creed, which had been uttered countless time before they marched off to battle. He said it out loud in respect for their fallen alpha. Echoing both parts of the creed back at himself.
"Who are we?" "We are the descendants of Fenris whose howl shakes the world! We are the Get of Fenris!" "Then I ask you, Get of Fenris, what do you hold in your right hand?" "In our right hand we hold the flame of Helios to burn the Wyrm and her servants to ash!" "Very well then Get of Fenris, what do you hold in your left hand?" "In our left hand we hold a blade forged of pure silver to strike down those of our number who would heed the Wyrm's poisoned words!"
"Yes, we are the Get of Fenris! Those who believe in the teachings of Gaia without following them! We are those who serve Gaia most faithfully, by not serving her at all! With the scent of death around us we enter battle to kill and be killed without fear or remorse! Only lowering our heads to Gaia to worship her with a growl of respect! Only raising our heads to the moon to worship her with a howl of victory!
Our fur soaked red with the blood of all those we have slain, we kill at every chance in every way! When the time shall come and it is needed we will drive our own silver blade into our chest to end our lives! Then our spirits line up to do battle with the 7,405,926 deamons of the Wyrm!
We are the Get of Fenris, Gaia favors us with her greatest gifts, and in return, WE KEEP THE LIFESTREAM STOCKED WITH FRESH SOULS! RAGNAROK NOW!" As Alex roared those last lines from his human mouth, he smiled. He would do Fenris proud, or he would die trying. Not that those two possibilities were mutually exclusive.
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Now you must raise our child with dignity (Vincent)
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Stepping through the waterfall was more difficult than ever but Vincent accomplished it. The water poured down on him and made him very glad that his boots were waterproof. Even if they hadn't been he could afford to have the soil he lined his boots soles with get wet at the moment. His coffin was only a short walk (for a vampire) away in Nibelhiem, and it was practically filled to the brim with soil
Yes, Hojo had been so kind to obtain all that Wutian soil just for Vincent, so that he could suffer for eternity in luxury. If Hojo was half as smart as he thought he was he would be twice as smart as he actually was. You did not give your greatest foe incredible powers at the expense of his soul, that was what you did for your friends, who, granted, weren't likely to stay your friends long.
Either way, it had never crossed Hojo's mind that if he so desired all Vincent had to do was take a couple handfuls of soil, dump them in his boots and he could go where he liked taking his consecrated soil with him. Of course in the back of his mind, Vincent wondered why he had wanted to go here.
Vampires lived off memories, but typically they were memories that belonged to other people, and Vincent understood that all too clearly looking back at what kind of memories filled this place. Who would have guessed that it could have turned out this way? Whoever it had been who had said "no moment is sadder is when a father buries his son" had doubtlessly been right. Except that even that simple dignity was beyond Vincent's reach.
So many things were beyond Vincent's reach. Only a few remained, but he couldn't allow to himself to think about how few, he was a Turk, the mission came first. Every single time he had thought differently he had ended up regretting it. Bury Hojo, bury Shinra, bury Jenova. He could do that, he was a Turk, dealing death was all he had ever been good at. So why had he chosen to come back here?
"To tell you that I screwed up again apparently. That Vincent Valentine got two chances and pissed them both down the drain. I don't expect you to give me a third, I bet you wished you never knew me, because if it hadn't been for me, you'd still be alive."
Vincent kept silent for a moment, and then suddenly his ennui snapped like a muscle that been used one time too many. "Dam it! I refuse to fool myself into lying to you here. If I had never stepped off of that airship into Nibelhiem, then you'd still be just as dead today! And not by accident, or old age, or anything else, you'd be dead because you would have died the exact same way! No one could have survived what you went through if they hadn't been a SOLDIER, and without Sephiroth's cells to function as a buffer between human and Jenova life forms, there would be no SOLDIERS."
If that wasn't a catch 22 then Vincent had never heard one. And quite frankly he could remember the looks on people's faces when he had told them "if you move I'll shoot you" and then shot them while they were being a good target and standing still. "The only difference would be that would have been Hojo's child instead of mine. Hojo's child with what Sephiroth has? With half of what Sephiroth has?
I'd like to think that you understand that I'm tired. I'm tired of Hojo holding my left arm over my head and asking me why I'm hitting myself when he slaps me with it! This isn't my fault, this isn't my sin! This is Gaste's fault for not taking Sephiroth with him when he left Shinra, for not doing more for Sephiroth. This is Hojo's fault for caring more about science than he does other people! This is your fault for believing him when he told you that you would survive.
What destiny wanted of me, it had no right to expect! I could love you, but empathy? Do you know what been done to me, what I did to myself to stop myself from ever being able to empathize with those people in the crosshairs. I refuse to be held responsible for the crimes of others, I'm just a gun. I can't pull my trigger, and I can't aim myself, and that's why, right now, I'd give anything to feel your hands around me.
Do you know how many nights I lay awake wanting you to take me in your hands, take me and point me at your husband? I wanted to do it, and I wasn't able to, you weren't able to, Gaste wasn't able to, none of us were. So here we are living, existing in this imperfect world, a mile long chain of humanity, every single one of us unable to see the world, our only sense of security the blind man who's ahead of us.
So I ask you now, please tell me, please give me a sign, give me a target, prove to me that I'm right. Give me some proof that this isn't just a throw of the dice. I want to think that even now, because those days when I woke up with you next to me, I was the happiest gun in the world. Just to touch you, see you, smell you, even with human senses that was my greatest bliss."
Vincent slowly stopped looking up at the ceiling and looked around, there was his sign. He walked over to it, and picked it up, he read the inscription and smiled, it was a fitting name. She had told him she would finish it before she gave birth to her son, but she had been too sick to take Vincent out to this place where she said she had put it. She told him that before she died, but in the throes of the delirium that seized her in her last days, would could have known if what she spoke was truth or just madness?
If only he could have used it. She had designed it for him when he had been an entire man instead of a ramshackle collection of parts. She had designed it for him when he had favored his left hand because he had a left hand to favor. Years of practice couldn't quite make a man ambidextrous, Vincent had come close, but when he had one, he had always preferred his left hand.
He tried holding it in his claw, but that felt no more correct than holding it in his right hand did. Still he took the rifle and the strap, and set it up so that he wore it over his shoulder the same way his son had worn Masamune. He laughed slightly at the prospect of only now finally taking a gun that had been made for him three decades ago, help from beyond the grave indeed. Beyond the grave...
Hojo had said he had done something to Her body, but what? Doubtless he had left her in the Nibelhiem mansion, but where? The other dead bodies in the coffins were male, Vincent could tell by the bone structure, which meant that Lucresia had to be somewhere. Vincent did some quick calculation and then took of at a very fast run, he had to find out one way or another.
----
Vincent cursed. He had combed this mansion from top to bottom, and not found any sign of a female skeleton. He had looked through the secret passage thoroughly for that was where most likely Hojo would have hid her body, but when he looked at his reflection in a full length mirror, all he saw was desperation. Wait a moment, his reflection?
Vincent had a reflection, but it only showed up in things that weren't connected to nature, like a well shined gun. It didn't show up in simple things like mirrors or ponds of water. So why was it showing up in this mirror? Because this mirror wasn't a simple mirror. What if...? A secret passage in a secret passage? Doubtless it made sense to someone like Hojo.
Slowly a smile crept onto Vincent's face as he brought back his claw. "It begins now, the music of the night!" Vincent swung that claw with all of the considerable strength in his recently refreshed body. The mirror shattered into tiny fragments, and behind it was a hallway. It had been a mirror just like the kind used in interrogation cells, you looked through it from one direction and you saw your reflection, from the other you saw through it like a window.
When Vincent walked back out through that mirror frame, 7 years of bad luck was the last thing on his mind, he was even singing. " I'm dressed all in blue, and I'm remembering you, and the dress you wore when you broke my heart. Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life? I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life, unless you come around. So come around!" He would make sure that he would not be alone to weep crimson tears in memory of Sephiroth.
End Chapter
OWAN: Sorry that took so long. TO those of you that are still with me, I'm glad to report that school's out, so I'll be able to update much more often.