Thank you so very much for your reviews, they mean a lot to me. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I know you had to wait a long time for it.
Muchas Gracias to Stayce. Te quiero, chica!
I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story, but I do think it fits
Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own anything, it's all JE's. Well, the plot is mine, but since I'm stealing the characters, I'm SOL. And I'm just assuming that you've read all the books, but if you haven't there may be spoilers.
Rating: R for adult language and situations. They're all adults and they talk and act like it…read at your own risk.
Living on a Prayer
Chapter 9
At some point, I must have cried myself to sleep, because I woke up at noon. There was no sound in the apartment, but I knew that didn't mean I was alone.
The nurse at the hospital had told me not to shower and not to fall asleep. Now I knew why. My head was throbbing and I had to close one eye to focus on anything.
I didn't feel bad about lying to the doctor about having a nurse close by, or leaving the hospital though. No way could I have stayed there.
I fell back onto the pillow with a sigh. There was still the talk with Ranger. I'd never gotten to ask him how he'd found me, or what had happened to Teddy. But the thought of seeing Ranger made me cringe. I couldn't face him after last night.
Just thinking about what happened made my stomach turn. If my life was a mess before, now it was a disaster.
I stared at the ceiling and let the past few weeks replay in my head.
Joe and I had been good. We'd settled into a comfortable relationship, one where I wasn't afraid to call him my boyfriend. I wouldn't say we were headed for the altar, but we weren't ruling it out anymore either.
With new tears stinging my eyes, I was wondering what I would have done differently had I known that morning was the last time I'd see Joe.
If only I'd tried harder to keep him in bed, he would have never made it to the station and would have missed Teddy's phone call.
Joe was dead because of me, Teddy'd left no doubt about that.
I tried to tell myself to stop, wallowing in self-pity wouldn't help me, but that didn't work. It seemed like all I was capable of anymore was self-pity and guilt.
Probably Ranger wouldn't let me stay in bed all day anyway, so I mentally kicked my own ass and rolled out of bed. My leg was still burning from the cut, and overall, I felt sore and bruised. I grimaced when I realized how much my outside matched my inside. Sore and bruised described me completely inside and out.
I limped over to the bathroom and discovered a stack of clothes that had been laid out for me. By Ella, no doubt. Bless her heart, I didn't have to wear the borrowed clothes from the hospital again.
I felt a little better after standing in the shower for a half hour, but my head was still killing me. Fortunately I knew where Ranger kept his painkillers now.
I got coffee started and washed down some Advil with water when I heard the front door open. So much for delaying the inevitable, I thought.
Ranger joined me in the kitchen when I was pouring myself a cup of coffee. My eyes were focusing on the pot and my cup, a perfect excuse for not meeting his eyes.
"How're you feeling today?" He asked.
I sighed. Should I tell him the truth? He'd probably pack me up and ship me back to the hospital. But I couldn't lie to him anymore either.
"Crappy." I said.
"Can you tell me what happened?" He asked, his voice soft. That question covered a lot of ground. Did he mean what happened before he showed up at the shed? Did he mean when I made a fool out of myself right where we were standing now? I sighed again.
"How did you find me?" I asked. That wasn't quite a change of subject, but it would take the focus away from me a little.
"Traced your phone call." Ranger said and put his index finger under my chin to lift up my face and force me to meet his eyes.
"You did good. You just dropped the receiver, you didn't sever the connection. We were able to find you from there."
I took a step back to free myself from Ranger's touch. His behavior from the night before still stung, even though I knew he'd done the right thing. I'd regret it if he'd taken me up on it, but it still hurt that he'd rejected me. And then there was the embarrassment.
"Let's talk." Ranger said and took my elbow, leading me over to the living room. I still avoided his eyes when I sat down on the couch. He took the seat next to me and turned to face me.
"Babe, you have to get over what happened last night." Ranger started.
I opened my mouth to argue, but he put his had up in the universal 'stop' gesture. "I mean what happened here." He nodded in the direction of the kitchen. "Forget that."
I nodded slowly. That was easy for him to say. He hadn't made an ass out of himself.
"Okay," he said, "I'll start. I got to the hotel too late. No one had seen you leave and all your stuff was there." Ranger was scratching his chin as he was talking, the only indication of the emotions he was feeling. For a second, I got a glimpse of the desperation he must have felt. Or maybe I was imagining things again.
Ranger shook his head slightly as if to clear it before he continued. "The security cameras had caught you a couple times by yourself and after we went over hours of tapes, we finally figured out you were in a laundry cart…" He took my hand in his "But we lost you after he left the parking lot with you in the trunk." I could have sworn his voice was breaking at that last part.
I nodded again. What was there to say? He'd been too late because I'd called him too late.
"I get why you had to do it your way, Babe." He said and for the first time, I looked up. His eyes were soft and I could feel his sincerity. I squeezed his hand.
"Thank you." I almost whispered. For some reason I'd thought he'd be mad at me for running away.
"It was stupid, but I understand." He said. I couldn't argue with that, I had acted foolishly.
"I'm sorry." I said and new tears were threatening to come up.
"Don't be." Ranger said and put his free arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. I didn't resist, it felt too good to lean against him. The earlier awkwardness was gone.
He stroked my hair when he continued. "I thought I'd lost you. I don't do scared, Babe."
"You were scared for me?" I asked.
"I said I don't do scared." He said and I could feel him smile against my head. Had Batman just admitted to feelings? Probably he was just trying to amuse me. It worked, I had to smile.
"I had three teams looking for you, we combed the entire Atlantic City area. It was like you had vanished into thin air." I could imagine what it must have been like, I'd felt like I'd been taken into a different dimension myself.
"We traced your call, but it took us a few hours to get to you. When we found the house empty I thought we were too late again."
I was holding my breath. This was the first time Ranger was opening up to me. He'd picked an odd time, but I wasn't about to complain.
"But you found me." I said. That was really all that mattered.
"Yeah," Ranger said and pulled me closer, "I found you." He planted a kiss into my hair.
Now his words were sinking in and I pulled back to look up into his face. "There wasn't anyone at the house? You didn't find Teddy?" I was almost shrieking now. I was panicking, thinking Teddy would walk through the door at any moment.
Ranger pulled me back down, I hadn't even noticed I'd jumped up. "You're safe here, Babe."
He was right, of course, and I knew it. Somehow I'd thought Teddy was locked up, unable to harm me. Or better yet, dead.
"Tell me about him." Ranger said.
"His name is Teddy. So maybe Robert? I didn't ask. No last name." Ranger was stroking my back to encourage me and I was slowly calming down.
"Can you describe him?" Ranger asked. I could, but I didn't want to. I'd have to envision him to describe him, and I was trying so hard to forget the image of him.
I took a shaky breath. "Whatever you want to share, Babe." Ranger said. He was trying not to push me, but he needed to know. I was trying to distance myself, tried to give the objective details.
"He's an orderly at St. Francis. He said he didn't care if he was fired, so they could check who hasn't shown up for work and probably they have his work record."
Ranger nodded, I could already see the wheels in his head in motion.
"And he has an accomplice," I added, "Someone else was driving the car. I didn't see the guy, but there were two of them."
Ranger got up, his face once again expressionless. "I'm gonna look into it. I need you to stay here, Babe. I can't be out there looking for the guy if I have to worry about you."
"You're worried about me?" I teased. I was trying to be light and funny, although I was feeling the exact opposite.
"It's okay, Babe." Ranger said, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. "You don't need to pretend everything's alright. I wish I could stay here with you."
Before I knew what I was doing, I jumped up and hugged him tight, pressing my face against his chest. Ranger hugged me back before he gently pushed me away to look at me. He traced my jaw bone with his finger.
"I
meant it. You know you're safe here. Can I trust you to stay
put?"
Ranger was asking? This was a first. I nodded, at a loss
for words.
He smiled and hugged me again. "I'll call as soon as I find out anything." He promised and pushed me back onto the couch.
"You just relax, try to get some rest, get your mind…just try not to think about it." He said. He kissed my forehead and draped a blanket over me. Before he left, he pressed the remote into my hands.
I leaned back, suddenly exhausted. Telling Ranger had been easier than I'd thought. And he'd made me feel more comfortable about the kitchen incident. But the talk and the memories of Teddy it had brought back had taken a lot out of me.
I trusted Ranger to call me when he found out anything. He wouldn't take down Teddy without telling me about it. He'd told me to relax and let him do the work.
Exactly what I didn't want, but I was in pain and too exhausted to object at the moment.
I knew I was dreaming, but that didn't make it any less real for me. I was back in the house with Teddy, only I was tied up again and he was leering over me.
I tried to wriggle free, to inch back as far as possible when he was reaching for me. His hand got closer and closer, and I was out of room.
"Stephanie," he said "Stop fighting us. You know you belong to me."
I felt the ropes around my wrists and ankles tighten and I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.
"This is the way it's meant to be. We'll be together forever, Angel." And then he did touch me and I screamed.
He grabbed my shoulder and I just couldn't stop screaming. "Babe," he said. Then he almost yelled "Babe!!".
My eyes fluttered open and I saw Ranger. I gasped and tried to fill my lungs with air. Ranger was holding on to my shoulders. When he saw I was awake, he pulled me closer.
"It's okay. You're awake now, it was just a dream, shhh. Shhhh." He soothed. I still tried to grasp what was dream and what was reality while getting my breathing down to normal. I hardly noticed I was crying again, the image of the dream was still with me. I clung to Ranger like a drowning swimmer.
Finally I remembered where I was, when I was, and I relaxed a little. I cleared my throat and straightened my shoulders. Ranger released me, but kept his hands on my arms as if to anchor me.
I sent him a small smile to assure him I was fine. "Bad dream." I croaked.
"No kiddin'" Ranger smiled back. He was still watching me as if he didn't believe I'd recovered.
"What time is it?" I asked to convince him. If I was asking questions, I was back in the now, right?
The corner of his mouth quirked up a quarter of an inch more, he was seeing right through my little charade. "It's about 3:30. I just got back from the control room to check on you."
I was wide awake now. "Did you find him?"
"You tell me." Ranger said and reached for a folder he'd put on the coffee table. "Are you ready for this? There's a picture…"
I took a deep breath and nodded, reaching for the folder. As ready as I would ever be, I figured.
Ranger watched me closely as I opened the file. I gasped as I stared right into Teddy's eyes, but I managed to hold on to the sheet of paper.
"Robert J. Gardner." I read out loud. "That's him." I closed the folder and handed it back to Ranger, taking another breath to calm my nerves. There was going to be a time and place to break down, I reminded myself, here and now wasn't it.
Ranger looked at me as if he didn't quite believe I was going to stay calm.
"You okay?" He asked, touching my arm. I covered his hand with mine and nodded. "I'm fine."
I managed a smile. "Did you get him?" Part of me wanted him locked up, but another part wanted to shot him myself and watch him scream in agony. I couldn't make up my mind which I preferred.
Ranger shook his head slightly. "Not yet. We know he's not at home or at work."
I'd expected as much. Teddy wouldn't go where he could easily be found.
"So what are our next steps?"
Ranger raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're up for this, Babe?"
"He killed Joe." I said. Ranger didn't look surprised, although I hadn't told him what Teddy'd shared. The only thing I'd shared with Ranger before I was kidnapped were the creepy phone calls.
"You knew?" I asked, my voice rising again. Had he known all along?
"The cops still don't have a suspect," Ranger said, "So he seemed a likely candidate. But I didn't know until you just told me." Somehow he knew what I'd been thinking again. I relaxed a little.
"I want to be part of this, Ranger. I have to be. For Joe."
Ranger sighed but didn't object. Probably he knew he couldn't change my mind. I'd learned I couldn't do it on my own, but there was no way he'd keep me out of the hunt.
I crossed my arms over my chest to show him my mind was made up. Ranger smiled and shook his head again.
A knock on the door made me jump and Ranger immediately put his arm around me.
"It's Ella," He said, "I thought you'd be hungry."
That was an understatement, I was famished. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd eaten. Whether Ranger'd tipped her off or Ella'd known herself, she'd cooked some of my favorites. There was fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. Some peas for color, but otherwise, not a healthy bite in sight. The only concession to Ranger was the missing dessert. I could live with that.
I smiled at her as I thanked her, and Ella rubbed my arm when she returned my smile.
Ranger looked at the food on the dining table and looked like he was close to rolling his eyes, but he didn't say anything.
It seemed like the first time in weeks I could enjoy a meal, and I dug in with gusto.
I leaned back when I'd eaten every scrap on my plate. "I needed that." I said.
"Now what?" I asked, looking up at Ranger who'd barely touched his food. He was smiling. "What's the plan?"
Ranger hesitated, probably trying to decide if he was going to let me in.
"You have a plan, right?" I prodded.
He nodded slowly. "I have a car in front of his house and one in the house he kept you."
"We have a meeting in 45 minutes to work out the rest. Are you sure you want to be part of this?"
I appreciated he was giving me another chance to stay out of it, but that wasn't an option for me.
"I'm sure." I confirmed. The sooner it was going to be over, the better. And I would do whatever I could to bring the asshole down.
"Probably he's looking for me…" I said slowly.
"Don't even think about it." Ranger cut me off, knowing exactly where I was going. He'd agreed to the idea of me being bait before Teddy'd kidnapped me; I thought it was worth a shot again.
"You said…" Ranger raised his hand again before I could go further.
"Things have changed." Ranger said simply. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"Just because Teddy was a step ahead of us! He isn't any more!"
"Babe." Ranger said.
I grunted in frustration. How did he think he would lure Teddy out without me as bait?
"What's your plan then? You think he's gonna come out looking…." I gasped. I had an idea.
Ranger raised an eyebrow, not being able to read my reaction for a moment.
"He's…you are…if you and I…" I was stammering. The idea was still forming in my head; I couldn't share it in a way Ranger could understand.
"Calm down. I'm not following." Ranger said. He'd gotten up and was squatting next to my chair so we were at eye level.
I took a deep breath trying to sort out the thoughts in my head.
"He killed Joe to get to me."
Ranger nodded.
"I mean, to get Joe out of the way. His goal was to make me his." I continued. I could see Ranger was catching on to my train of thought.
"If I am with you, he'll want to kill you." I said. In fact, Teddy'd said as much. He knew about Ranger and I was sure he'd be just as jealous of him as he'd been of Joe.
"What are you saying?" Ranger asked, although I figured he already knew.
"If we're a couple, you can protect me and we'll still lure him out. You'd be his next target, not me."
Ranger stood up, his face unreadable. I followed him back to the living room.
"What do you think?" I asked, taking his elbow to make him turn and face me.
"I think it's a bad idea." He said. My heart sank. "Why?"
"One, I can't protect you effectively in public. Two, we'd have pretend to be a couple."
I waited for him to explain further, but he didn't offer any more.
"Well, yeah." I replied to his second argument.
"Babe." He said. I rolled my eyes. He was getting on my nerves with that one word, always leaving it up to me to interpret it.
He cupped my face with his hands and looked at me until I'd meet his eyes.
"I can see how the plan would work. But I don't think you're ready for it."
"What?" I tried to pull back, but he held on to me, meeting my gaze.
"The world, or rather, the Burg would see us as a couple." He said. And finally it clicked. Of course. Mental head slap. As usual, Ranger'd thought further ahead than I had. Ranger and I would know it was just pretend, but my mother wouldn't. Mrs. Morelli wouldn't. Everyone who knew me in Trenton wouldn't. For them, it would look like I'd moved on to another man within weeks of Joe's death.
"Oh." I said when I realized I had overlooked the obvious.
"Yeah." Ranger said, releasing me.
I knew my mom would never understand, even if I told her it was just a charade. And I wasn't sure anyone else would. I had a choice, I could insist on following through with my plan and destroy my reputation for good or let Joe's killer go free.
"Do you have a better idea?" I challenged.
"That's what the meeting is about." Ranger said. I sighed. A meeting. Talking. I wanted to go out and do something, not talk about maybe doing something.
Ranger sensed my frustration. "Babe, we need to be prepared this time."
I knew he was right. But I was mentally squirming at the thought of sitting through a meeting. At the same time, I wanted to be part of it, I knew Ranger would be all too willing to take charge and leave me out of it.
"Okay." I said. "I'm gonna get ready and then I'm going to the meeting with you."
Ranger hesitated for the smallest moment before he almost-nodded. It was good enough for me. I pecked him on the cheek and disappeared into the bathroom to freshen up.
We rode the elevator down in silence. Ranger's expression was unreadable again; there was no way to guess what he was thinking. I was sure my emotions were displayed on my face for the world to see. I was nervous as hell. I knew I had to appear together and calm, so that Ranger and his merry men would accept me into the team.
It seemed that every RangeMan employee who wasn't manning the monitors or watching Teddy's known residences was in the meeting. Tank got up and wrapped me into a bear hug when I entered the conference room and he comforted me more with that gesture than he could have known.
Bobby rubbed my shoulder when Tank released me, Lester chucked my chin. They were all smiles. I was glad they didn't offer condolences or pitied me.
Ranger cleared his throat and everybody found a seat around the conference table, I ended up sitting between Ranger and Tank.
"Here's what we know," Ranger said. His voice was all business, no emotions. He was still sitting, but he clearly owned the room, all eyes were on him.
"Perp's name is Robert Gardner. 29 years old, 5'5", brown hair, hazel eyes. As of two days ago worked as an orderly at St. Francis hospital here in Trenton."
Everyone had a copy of the rap sheet Ranger had shown me earlier in front of them, but Ranger was summing it up anyway.
"Known two addresses are 125 Eaton Place, Apartment 13 in Trenton and 39 Wicker Road in Shiloh. Two teams were placed at the addresses at 0600 this morning. No sightings so far."
"Do we have Intel on friends and family?" Tank asked.
"Negative so far." Ranger answered. I felt like I'd walked into a military debriefing. The tone was so professional, void of all emotions. And for some reason, it made me feel confident. They would focus on nothing but the goal until it was reached. Whatever it took. I glanced from Ranger to Tank and the rest of the Merry Men. All had determined expressions, ready to rumble.
"Bobby?" Ranger turned the floor over to Bobby.
"Background check revealed nothing out of the ordinary. No police record. No car. A few credit cards, no arrest, no mortgage. Born in Newark, parents deceased. A brother in the Army, currently in Afghanistan. No marriage license." He checked his notes as he was talking. "He's a high school drop-out, been working a number of jobs in various fields, has been working at St. Francis for about 8 months. Still waiting on the in-depth report to come back." He looked up to signal his report was finished.
"Thank you." Ranger said curtly and glanced at Lester.
"No report from either surveillance team as of," Lester checked his watch, "0445."
Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly and wrote something down on his paper. "Okay," he said, "Brainstorm. What's our next move?"
"Focus on known contacts once the report comes back." Tank suggested. Ranger made more notes.
"Keep surveillance in place. He doesn't seem to have enough resources to keep up several residences." Lester threw in.
"Get me out on the street as bait." I blurted out before I could stop myself.
"No." Tank, Lester and Bobby said in unison. Hal and Junior just shook their heads. I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest. Ranger just looked at me and I met his eyes, daring him to say 'I told you so'.
"I have yet to hear a good idea from any of you." I challenged. Maybe I'd been too hasty in letting Ranger take over. So far they'd suggested sitting and waiting. Two things I don't do well.
"Babe." Ranger said. I noticed all eyes were on me. My tone may have been a little too aggressive.
"What?" I couldn't help myself. I'd wanted to give it time and hear the experts out, but other than some personal information on Teddy, they didn't know any more than I did, they needed me.
"These things take time." Ranger explained.
"How much time?" I asked.
Ranger shook his head slightly. "Enough time to do it right. You saw what happens if you rush it."
Okay, he'd put me into my place. I sent him a death glare and made myself take a deep breath before I said anything I'd regret later.
"Well, I don't think we have time." I said, making up the words as I was speaking. "He could be in New York by now, or the Bahamas. The only thing we know for sure is that he wants me."
"Too dangerous." Lester said. "Okay, Santos," I said sweetly, "Why don't you give us your plan then?"
I could feel Ranger tense next to me. Probably he wasn't used to anyone else leading his meetings.
"Steph's got a point." Tank spoke up. I sent him a grateful look; I'd almost thought no one would be on my side in this meeting. "I say we continue the surveillance, follow up on the reports and do some proactive work as well. We got the numbers to multi-task."
Ranger nodded, making more notes.
"Let me get back to my apartment." I suggested, "I'm not gonna go out by myself or anything like that, but let him see I'm going back home." I looked around the room to read the expressions. Lester was shaking his head, but Ranger and Tank looked like they were thinking about it.
A knock on the door interrupted us and I almost jumped again. I hadn't even realized how tensed I was. All heads turned towards the door. Hal stuck his head in. "Sorry, Boss. Trouble in A14."
Immediately, Tank and Bobby got up and followed Hal out the door.
"Guess that means the meeting's adjourned?" I asked. Ranger nodded slightly in response and gathered up his notes. I knew there was no sense in asking what A14 stood for. Probably one of RangeMan's many projects.
"Let's talk upstairs." Ranger said and got up. Lester shot me a reassuring smile and left. I slowly followed Ranger to the elevators, not sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say.
I leaned against the elevator's wall and closed my eyes. I had to hold on to the railing to anchor myself, I still had the spinning sensation and my headache had never quite gone away. When I opened my eyes again, Ranger's eyes were on me, as if he was waiting for me to speak.
I waved my hand dismissively. "Just tired." I said. Ranger didn't blink, and I could clearly read the look in his eyes. 'Yeah, right' it said. It wasn't easy to fool Batman.
Ranger keyed the door to his apartment open and threw his keys in the dish on the sideboard before he turned to face me.
"Do you want to tell me your whole plan?" He asked. I nodded. "If you're willing to listen."
"Fair enough." He said and gestured for me to have a seat in the living room. He went into the kitchen and I heard some cabinet doors open and close before I sat down on the couch. I leaned back into the cushions and closed my eyes.
I felt Ranger sit down next to me. He was pressing a bottle of water into my hands and when I opened my eyes, he offered some pills as well. I took the water and the Advil gratefully.
"Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor?" He asked. I could see the concern in his face and I smiled. "I just need some rest. Real sleep. But I doubt I'll be able to relax until this is over."
I swallowed the pills and leaned back again.
"So you're sure you want to be bait?" Ranger asked. Oh right, the plan I was supposed to share with him. Problem was, I didn't really have a plan, I was making it up as I went.
"I want this to be over." I repeated. Ranger nodded and took a sip from his own water.
"Assuming he hasn't left Trenton, it could work." He said. I sat up straight. Ranger was considering my suggestion? Either he was desperate or my idea was brilliant.
"Did you by any chance get my purse out of the hotel room?" I asked when a thought hit me. Teddy'd called me before he kidnapped me, he might try again. Ranger seemed to be having the same thought; he knew what I was getting at. "It's downstairs, we retrieved it along with your other stuff."
He was already up and dialing the control room on the intercom before I could ask him to. Probably Teddy didn't know where I was at the moment. And if he did, he may assume I was licking my wounds in Ranger's arms. Both possibilities could work to my advantage if he hadn't given up on me. I had a feeling if his obsession for me was so strong he was willing to kill for it, it wouldn't just go away.
Twenty minutes later, I was hooking my cell phone up to the charger and I was dialing my voicemail from Ranger's phone. "You have 31 new voicemail messages" the automatic operator told me. Now I remembered I hadn't bothered to check my messages in over a week. Since there was no telling who'd left a message, I had to listen to them all.
"Girlfriend!" I heard Lula's cheery voice on the first message, left the day before Joe's death. I deleted it without listening to it, whatever it was, it was no longer important.
"Cupcake, it's me," Joe said. I didn't even noticed how I just collapsed onto the floor; I must have fallen like a sack of potatoes. Joe'd called the morning he was shot. "I'm on my way to follow up on an informant's call, I might be a little late after all. But I meant it, stay in bed, I'll bring the food."
I was cradling the phone to my ear when Ranger's feet came into my line of vision and I realized I was lying on the floor.
Ranger picked me up and carried me over to the couch. I wanted to tell him I was fine, but I couldn't speak. Everything came rushing back and the little healing I'd managed to do over the past few days was wiped out by the sound of Joe's voice.
TBC
A/N: What do you think?