I'VE FINALLY COME BACK FROM THE DEAD! (for now..)

If you must know more, check my profile or the end of the last chapter...
It's been seven months and fourteen days... Hn...
This chapter didn't turn out the way I hoped it to be, but a rotting 7-month mind won't get me to the level I intended. But nevertheless, I present to you the next installment of When Two Strangers Come Along! (More like, "Bipolar Rukia plus Two OCs equals Total Chaos" XD)

Be warned, this story is officially on crack, OOCness, and vampires, of course... X)

Manga spoiler regarding Ishida's Quincy powers...

Chapter Ten: "The Cursed Tape of Doom"

7:30 PM, Saturday night:
After an amazing turn of events, the Bleach crew survived the death-defying kitchen ordeal. Ichigo had placed a lifetime ban on Rukia and Keigo from ever setting foot on kitchen territory after that poisonous breakfast nearly killed them hours ago. The survivors were now lounging around Ichigo's living room, bored out of their wits.

"Hey, Ichigo..."

"Yeah?"

"What is... the meaning of life?"

Ichigo shrugged, "Dude... You asked me this a hour ago... And I don't want to give you an answer 'cause knowing the Bleach series, I'd probably spend an entire freakin' episode explaining the meaning of life..."

"Right..." Rukia was silent as the six other teenagers sat limply on the floor, letting their minds vegetate. She then asked another random question.

"Why does juice taste good?"

Ichigo sighed and lifelessly responded, "Dunno, 'cause it's sweet and fruity?"

"Oh..." She paused again, "OK, then why are marshmallows puffy?"

"Beats me."

The group had to listen to Rukia's nonsense rambles for an hour. Just a while ago, she had asked, "What really is chicken of the sea?" and, "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" (Which had Ichigo confused for the longest time...) Their eyes slowly drooped as they let the last ray of the warm sunlight fade away beyond the window.

In a dramatically climactic motion, Keigo whipped out a black rectangle hidden underneath his jacket.

"In my right hand..." he started to say boldly, "I hold the absolute cure to boredom."

"...Enlighten us..." Ishida yawned.

Keigo's beady eyes darted around the room, "Aha, though you don't seem to respect the tape now, you can be assured that you soon will..."

In one fluid motion, he slid the small tape out of its flimsy cover and into Ichigo's VCR player halfway across the room. Jabbing the play button he smirked and thought, Your fate is now sealed!!

Six torturous minutes later...
"Augh! Turn that off!" Ishida screamed.

"Why, are you afraid of a little scary movie?" Ichigo smirked, "It's just little bit of g-gore... N-nothing bad, r-right?" His eyes faced the horrific scarlet screen, then immediately darted away.

Only two pairs of eyes were completely mesmerized by all of this bloodshed- Rukia and Keigo, of course. They were in a dazed trance as if seeing an ethereal silvery unicorn for the first time.

"It's not too bad, is it, Yuki?" Hirosaki cowered behind his younger sister.

When the brown-haired girl didn't respond, he glanced up to see what was wrong. To his shock, she, too, had been caught in the movie's enticing spell.

"It's... beautiful..." she whispered delicately. Without her control, she reached for the thin screen and smoothly glided to where Keigo and Rukia were positioned, joining in their coven. The other two merely acknowledged her presence and kept their eyes on the mystical display.

"Um... In this situation, should we say 'She's one of them'?" Mizuiro jokingly pondered.

With that, the three of them stiffly turned their heads to send Mizuiro a chilling death glare. He immediately shrunk back to a far corner of the living room and whimpered in fear.

"Blood..." Rukia held out a deathly pale finger in front of her. Much to Ichigo, Hirosaki, and Ishida's horror, the finger was pointing towards them.

"That... doesn't look like a good sign..." Ichigo gulped.

Their suspicions were confirmed when Keigo and Yuki followed suit, jabbing their fingers at the three boys (plus Mizuiro, who just recently crawled over to be in the vicinity of human beings) in a possessed demeanor.

"Prey..." The trio stiffly stood up and slowly closed the space between their newfound 'prey.'

"Holy shnapp... I don't wanna dieee! Aughhgh!!" Ishida screamed liked the little girl he was and instinctively flew to the door. Unfortunately, it was completely sealed off and would not open by any means.

By now, the others were scared senseless as they attempted to lift open the windows or anything that could be remotely used as an exit.

"This has never happened before! Since when did my dad install an anti-break out confinement system?" Ichigo panicked.

-Flashback-

"ICHIGOOO! Hey guess what? Since we're going on a camping trip today, I'm installing a new anti-break out confinement system! With its seven layers of reinforced steel and plexiglass, it renders you incapable of escape to go partying late night at someone's house! It's completely fool-proof!" he boasted on Thursday morning after Rukia left his room to head off for school.

"Wait, that keeps me from getting out, but what if someone tries to break in? What freakin' protects me from that?" Ichigo protested.

"Oh nonsense, who could possibly break in uninvited while we're gone?" Isshin laughed as if it were the most ridiculous thing he ever heard.

Oh, the irony...

-End Flashback-

Ichigo frowned thoughtfully, "Ah... That."

Mizuiro ran around in a circle screaming, "ZOMG, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" while Ishida rammed uselessly against the door. Seeing there was nothing more he could physically do, Ishida called forth his uber mad spirit particle arrow-drawing skillz. In his right arm formed a glowing blue bow.

"O yea, i is teh 1337 pwn0rz! Fear me now!!1!11!" Ishida cackled.

"Dude, Ishida, your Quincy powers aren't supposed to return yet...!" Ichigo hissed and shielded the audience from the oh-so-shocking manga spoiler, "At least put spoiler tags around it!"

"But the anime's so close to showing it!"

"Don't corrupt the innocent-minded with futuristic events!"

"That sucks..." Ishida groaned and placed spoiler tags around his awesomeness.

(spoiler) Seeing there was nothing more he could physically do, Ishida called forth his uber mad spirit particle arrow-drawing skillz. In his right arm formed a glowing blue bow.

"O yea, i is teh 1337 pwn0rz! Fear me now!!1!11!" Ishida cackled.

With his perfected arrow-shooting technique, he aimed for the center of the door and released the piercing blue energy. (/spoiler)

Despite his pitiful shots, the door didn't give way. Ishida fumed until he noticed the suffocating demonic energy spewing from Keigo, Yuki and Rukia a mere five feet away from them.

This time, all three boys (Hirosaki had long left the scene) shrieked like adolescent females realizing one of their perfectly manicured nails broke. Without a second thought, they split up and fled for their lives within the small Kurosaki Clinic.

Keigo lifelessly glanced at Rukia, who then focused her eyes on Yuki. The younger Kazama sibling, being the mastermind she was, merely nodded. The three zombies swiftly disappeared on their separate ways to pursue their unfortunate victims.

Let the survival of the fittest begin...

TBC.

NOTE: I won't be able to make promises on when the next chapter will be up... Nothing as long as seven months, that's for sure.

OMAKE:

The darkness that shrouded him was starting to become overwhelming. He didn't know how much longer he could endure this before he snapped... But of course, he had to remain absolutely silent and controlled in this situation. All hope was riding on this single moment. If he screwed up in the slightest bit, he would be in this purgatory for life.

Oh, where was Saki-kun and Yuki-san when he needed them most?

No, Kira Izuru gritted his teeth purposefully, I must be self-sufficient... I can't depend on them all the time.

Today was the day... It had to be. Fate seemed to be on his side, granting him a dark, new moon night and the reassuring sound of snores coming from the demented shop owner's room. At long last, it was Liberation Day.

Slowly, and stealthily, Kira crept out to the front of the shop. Only three insignificant feet stood in the way of him and his gateway to freedom. After he touched that sweet, sweet wooden frame, he knew nothing could stop him from bolting out the door and into the starless night.

But first, he reminded himself, I need to actually get to the door...

Kira inched towards his ticket to the 'outside world.' Just two more feet... Twelve inches... three inches... He desperately reached out for the little handle, controlling his urge to just break down the weak structure. But he had to admit, total demolition of the door did seem very tempting at the moment...

The blond-haired boy finally grabbed hold of the little crevice used for sliding the door. Without further, very prolonged ado, he slid open the thin material just a crack...

Not one blaring alarm sounded. No blinding search lights flashed in his eyes. Kira blinked; confused for half a second. And then he ran.

Kira sprinted faster than a fearful gazelle during hunting season. Once the little gazelle reached the forest, he knew he would be safe from any pursuers.

His plan was inevitably flawed. That crazed madman had set up traps in advance, undoubtedly knowing that Kira would try and escape one day. After all, Urahara was not one to hand someone's freedom to them for free, now was he?

It should be noted that these traps were not simple wires used for tripping the victim; they were meant solely for killing... Or at least, permanently crippling Kira for life.

He let out a high-pitched scream as he forced himself to sprint faster towards the vast clump of trees 50 meters away, all the while dodging flaming kunai, spiked chains, poison-tipped needles, and larger-than-life snapping bear traps.

As if all the murder attempts didn't scare him enough, he saw something far worse. Over on the hill leading to his sacred haven of trees stood the weapon of mass destruction himself, Urahara Kisuke.

"Holy sh---!" Kira managed to gasp.

Horror-stricken and dazed, he kept his wide eyes on Urahara and unwittingly ran straight to the predator. Urahara swiftly tied Kira up with a rope he pulled out of thin air and sped off to the the shop with his freshly caught quarry...

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.