Your feedback made me type as fast as I could, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for all your reviews, you guys are so awesome!

A special thanks to Stayce for putting up with me through this!

Disclaimer: Teddy is mine, but just because he won't go away. Everything else belongs to JE

I borrowed the title from Bon Jovi, not from the story, but I do think it fits

Rating: PG13. Adults talk and act like adults…strong language…read at your own risk.

Living on a Prayer

Chapter 19

"I'm gonna go back to work for a while," Ranger said after he unlocked his apartment door for me, "Ella brought some food, go eat something before you go to bed." I knew that he meant he was going to go back to the conference room, meeting with the Merry Men and planning the next move. Maybe it was my exhaustion or maybe it was my anger earlier, but in any case, I was ready to let Ranger take over. I didn't want to be part of the planning team any more. I'd just ask him to tell me the news, if any.

Ranger turned to go back to the elevator, but I took his hand in mine before he could. "Thank you," I simply said. Ranger ran his fingers through my hair and did the almost-smile. "Anytime," He said and brushed his lips over mine, then he lifted our hands to his mouth and kissed the back of my hand. "Get some rest," He said and released my hand.

I stood in the doorway, watching him get on the elevator. He winked at me before the doors closed and then I was alone. I realized Ranger's way of conflict resolution held some advantages. We had managed to stay in one place without anybody storming off and there was no need to apologize. In addition, I already felt much better.

I stared at the closed elevator door, lost in thought. Memories of countless fights with Morelli flashed through my mind. We both had our share of Italian temper, and when we fought, our ancestors would have been proud of us. Ranger was of Cuban decent, and from what I knew about his people, they weren't known for quiet negotiating either. Somehow, Ranger had overcome that heritage; I didn't know any other person with his patience or restraint. He was a master of keeping control. It was the anger talking when I accused him of not having any emotions; I knew they were there. He had learned to keep them hidden though. Most of the time, I'm sure that was working to his advantage. But sometimes I wished he would show me more of his human side, not hide it behind his super-soldier exterior.

Ella had put covered plates on the kitchen counter and had taped a note to one of them with microwave instructions. Ella knew I didn't cook much, but she didn't know whether I could cook if I wanted to, so I didn't take offense to the instructions, but smiled at her thoughtfulness.

She had made us chicken stir-fry, and it was simply delicious. I washed it down with another beer, rinsed the plate and got ready for bed. I put on one of Ranger's t-shirts as a nightgown, it was comfortably big and long enough to cover me halfway down my thighs.

Ranger hadn't mentioned any sleeping arrangements, and his bed looked way too inviting, so I snuck under the covers and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I woke up in the middle of the night, startled awake by some noise. When I looked around me, I realized I was not in Ranger's bedroom, but in the studio apartment on the fourth floor. The only explanation for that was that I had sleepwalked. Why I would leave the comfort of Ranger's bed was beyond me though.

When my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I realized what had woken me: Against the window, I could make out the shape of a man. My heart sped up and my breath caught in my throat.

"Ranger?" I asked hoarsely, praying it was him and not Teddy.

"No, Cupcake, it's me." Joe said softly and turned around. I couldn't make out his face, but I noticed he was limping. He walked over to the bed and sat down. I was unable to move or talk, I just stared at him.

He reached out and tucked a stray curl behind my ear. He was smiling, but it was a painful smile and his eyes looked sad.

"You…you're…you're dead." I finally forced out, Joe nodded slowly, "I know." His fingers traced my jawbone and his thumb brushed over my lips. I was shivering.

"Then what…" I had to swallow before I could bring out a sentence, "What are you doing here?" I finally managed.

"I shouldn't be here," Joe said and nodded. In the dim moonlight, his face looked pale, and eerily lifeless. Tears were streaming down my face and Joe wiped them away with his thumb. "Why are you here?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. My heart physically ached at the sight of him.

"You're not letting me go," He said softly, "As long as you hold on to me, I can't pass on."

I tried to take a breath but I was too choked up to manage properly. Joe continued to study my face sadly.

"Wh…What?" I finally managed. "You need to let go, Cupcake." Joe whispered and I could see tears welling up in his eyes. "Let me go." He pulled me towards him and hugged me close. I was sobbing at his chest, clinging to him.

Joe held me for a minute, then he gently pushed me back. "Please, Cupcake?" He said and his eyes were pleading, "Let me move on?"

I was hugging the pillow tight and it was wet from my tears when I woke up from my dream. I took a couple breaths to calm down, but the tears kept coming. Ranger opened the bedroom door and flicked on the light. In two strides, he was by my side and gathered me up in his arms.

"It was a dream," He said soothingly. It was a dream, but it had been so real that the memory of it brought new tears. I had felt Joe, I had touched him!

I threw my arms around Ranger and sobbed uncontrollably. Ranger just held me, stroking my back, whispering soothing words close to my ear. "It…it…it was Joe." I pressed out between sobs. "I know," Ranger said, "It was a dream." He ran his hand over my head and held me tighter.

"He…he wants me to let him go." I wailed. I knew Ranger wouldn't know what I was talking about, but I had to say it, it was too overwhelming. He kept holding me until my sobs died down to hiccups. I sniffled and took a deep breath, pulling back. "I'm sorry," I said, smoothing out Ranger's shirt where I had fisted it, "It was the most terrible dream." I took a deep breath and looked up at Ranger. He smiled at me and smoothed my hair back. "It's okay," He said, "You've had a horrible couple days." I nodded and took the tissue he offered me to blow my nose. I was still shaking a little.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Ranger asked softly and I shook my head no. I knew I couldn't talk about the dream without crying. Ranger's arm was still draped around me and I leaned into it, borrowing his strength. My heart rate was slowly returning to normal, and all I felt was an indescribable sadness. I slumped against Ranger and wrapped my arms around him again.

I finally pulled back and took a deep breath. "I'm better," I said, smiling for emphasis. "What time is it?" Ranger smiled back and turned his head to read the alarm clock. "Almost three AM. I just got back from downstairs." He said. "Any news?" I asked, hoping for an update. Ranger shook his head no. "I'm sending a team to his apartment in the morning, we couldn't spare any men until now. Maybe we'll get some clues." He said.

I knew the Merry Men had been in Teddy's apartment before, but they had been looking for him then, they hadn't searched the place.

"Try and get some more sleep, Babe," Ranger said and gently pushed me back onto the bed. "Will you stay with me?" I asked. I was afraid I'd dream again if I slept alone. Ranger nodded. "I'm just gonna take a shower and then I'll be back," He said and got up. I heard him start the shower and let the sound of the water lull me back to sleep. I was already half asleep when Ranger got back and settled in next to me. I felt his arm around me and sighed. I felt safe.

When I woke up the next time, the room was bathed in warm sunlight. Ranger was lying on his back and I was on my stomach spread over his chest, with one of my legs between his, his arm over my back. He smiled when he saw I was awake. "Good morning," He said softly. I rolled onto my side quickly and returned his smile. If I had dreamed the rest of the night, I didn't remember it. I felt relaxed. "Morning," I replied. "Feeling any better?" Ranger asked and ran his fingers through my hair. I detangled my legs from his and pulled down the t-shirt that had come up to my stomach, but I didn't pull further away from Ranger.

"I'm okay, I think," I said truthfully and met his eyes. I rolled away from him, stretched and got up. According to the clock radio, it was already 9 AM, I was surprised Ranger was sleeping in with me. "Are you taking the day off, too?" I asked. Ranger snorted. "Not really. I just thought it was more important to be here with you. I'll meet with Tank and Bobby once they come back from Gardner's. We're still hoping he'll return there. And I'm a little concerned he hasn't tried to contact you." He said as he propped himself up on his elbows. "I shot him. Maybe he realized we weren't meant to be after all." I said on a shrug. "I wish it was that easy," Ranger said and got up. I beat him to the bathroom and started the shower. My face felt a little better than the day before, but one look in the mirror told me I should probably not meet any of my friends face to face today. I looked like I'd gone a couple rounds against Mike Tyson. The abrasions from the air bag had turned darker and were now an angry shade of red, and the bruise on my cheek was slowly turning black. I sighed and stepped into the shower.

I wrapped myself in Ranger's robe again and returned to the bedroom afterwards. Ranger was gone. I decided to postpone dressing and styling for a while and just lay down on the bed in my thinking position. I thought about my dream again. 'Let me go' Joe had said. I didn't believe in messages from the beyond or anything like that, but the dream was definitely disturbing. I realized my mom was right; I hadn't been to his grave once since he was buried. It just seemed too painful. At some point, I'd have to clean out his house on Slater, too. Sort out what was mine and what needed to go to his family. That seemed so final, as if…as if I accepted that Joe was gone. 'He is gone' I said out loud. And it was final. The thought made my heart ache, but I didn't cry.

I finally pushed myself up and grabbed some clothes out of my bag. It was a good thing I had packed for a few days. Ranger had a lot of shirts I could borrow, but his choice of women's underwear was limited. He didn't have any. I blow-dried my hair and worked some gel into it, then I applied mascara and lip gloss, careful not to touch the abrasions. When I got to the dining area, the smell of fresh coffee hit me. Ella had already been up, a basket stood on the table and there was the heavenly scent of toasted bagels. On my plate was a sticky note. 'At the gym, back in a few. R.' it said. Ranger's consideration made me smile. I poured myself some coffee and sat down, waiting for him. I could smell the fresh bagels and my stomach growled in response.

I didn't have to wait long, Ranger came back about 15 minutes later, his hair still wet from the shower. He was once again dressed in his usual black and he winked at me when he sat down. "How hard was it for you not to cover up the bruise?" He asked and smiled. I stuck my tongue out at him, it felt like the appropriate response. Ranger poured himself a cup of coffee and I grabbed a bagel and smothered it in butter.

He smiled broadly when I took the first bite and the butter was dripping down my forearm. "That stuff will kill you," He said predictably. "A bagel?" I asked with my mouth full. "The pound of butter you slathered on it," Ranger replied, unable to hide his amusement. Mornings with Ranger always seemed relaxing. Like the calm before the storm, before the real world reached us.

We finished our breakfast in silence and Ranger glanced at his watch when I got my third cup of coffee. "I'm meeting the guys now, should be interesting to learn what they found out," He said, "Do you want to come?"

I thought about it for a moment, but decided against it. I didn't do meetings well. "No, go ahead. I'm gonna catch up on my phone calls." I would have rather gone shopping or to the bakery, but I knew I wasn't supposed to leave the building. Ranger nodded. "Okay. I'll let you know what I find out." And he got up. He walked over to me and squatted down so we were at eye level. "You sure you're gonna be okay? You won't get restless and decide to leave?"

"I'll be a good girl," I promised. "No need to be drastic," Ranger said and smiled a full-on smile. I chuckled and jokey-punched him in the stomach. He caught my hand in his and pulled us both up, wrapping his arms around me. "I took the liberty of hooking your phone up to the charger," He said and nodded towards the living room, "We would have gotten an alarm if he called you, but let me know if he left a message from a different number."

"About that…" I said slowly and looked up at his face, "Did you delete my old messages?" Ranger cupped my face in his hands and brushed his lips over mine. "I copied them over and then I deleted them." I let out a long breath. "Thank you," I whispered. Ranger nodded and turned to leave. "I'll be back soon," He said over his shoulder. When he was gone, I sat back down with my coffee. The phone calls could wait another hour. I knew I had chickened out again, I could have asked Ranger about Joe's second message. But I didn't know if I was ready for it yet after last night's dream.

I rinsed our dishes in the sink and grabbed a bottle of water, and on my way to the living room, I eyed my cell phone warily. Probably it still needed time to charge, I decided and plopped down on the couch with the TV remote.

An hour later I was anaesthetized enough by daytime TV to face my mom. I took a deep breath and pushed myself off the couch, telling myself it was ridiculous to avoid one's mom.

"Stephanie! Thank God! We thought you were dead or lying in a coma somewhere. Would it have killed you to call your mother?" Maybe avoidance wasn't so ridiculous after all. I sighed. "Sorry Mom, I've been working…"

"Working? What are you working on? Angie Morelli tells me you haven't been to the grave once!" My mother's voice was agitated and my left eye was starting to twitch. "I will go, Mom, I promise," I said, trying to remain calm. It hurt that my mom wouldn't think to question Angie Morelli's words, she didn't even bother to ask me if it was true. "Your father can drive you if you don't want to go by yourself," My mom suggested. I knew she was trying to get me to commit to a date and time. "I'll let you know. I was just calling to make sure everything was alright," I tried to change the subject.

"Are you coming to dinner tomorrow?" My mom wanted to know. I wondered if Ranger would insist on bodyguarding me if I told him I had to go. The thought was enough to make me smile in spite of the unpleasant conversation. "Maybe," I said, "I don't know if I'll be in town." That wasn't even a fib, who knew where I'd be 24 hours from now? A day ago, I was still in Point Pleasant.

"What do you mean, you don't know if you will be in town? Where are you going?" My mom asked, and her voice was getting louder. I bit my lip. I should have known better than to tell her I might leave Trenton. Mom didn't really consider the world outside the 'Burg worth visiting.

"Mom, I said I don't know, I'll try to be there for dinner." I sighed and held my hand over my eye. "Good," She said and her voice was back to normal, "Your father and I need to talk to you." Oh goody, I could hardly wait. "Okay, I'll see you then." I said and we disconnected. If I did make it to dinner, my only hope was that Valerie and her family wouldn't be there. I didn't think I could make it through a typical Plum dinner just yet.

Next on my list was Lula. She had somehow managed to get most of the details out of Tank and wasn't mad at me for not calling her. "Damn, Steph, you got yourself into quite some mess, huh? Good thing Ranger and my man are helping you out!" She said. I had to agree with that one. "Yeah, I tried it on my own first and that sort of backfired." I admitted. "I heard," She said, "Only I didn't get the whole story until you were safe and sound and back here. Good thing, too, I would have been worried sick. How are you holding up?"

That was a complicated question. In the last 24 hours, I had two major breakdowns, but in general, I was feeling better than a few days ago. "I'm hanging in there. I miss you guys," I said. "Boy, do we miss you!" Lula said. "Since both you and Ranger are out, I have to pick up most of the files here. And some of them are tricky." I chuckled. When Lula said 'tricky', she meant they were impossible to apprehend for her or me, but she would never say that out loud. "I'll be back soon," I said, hoping it was the truth.

"You take your time, white girl. No use rushing back. We'll be here whenever you're ready." I had to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. I was choked up by the love I felt for my friends. "Thank you. I'll call you soon," I said and we said our goodbyes.

Now I still had to work through my voicemail messages. Ranger knew Teddy hadn't called from any of the numbers we had of his, but there was every chance he had used a different phone. Heck, any pay phone would have done the trick. I thought about that while I dialed into my voicemail. The nice electronic lady told me I had 17 unheard messages. 'Here we go,' I thought as I pressed 1 to access them.

The first three messages were from my mom. As soon as she got to "Stephanie, this is your mother…" I deleted each messages. Only fourteen to go, I thought sarcastically. "Miss Plum, this is Stayce, Detective Krenzler, from the Trenton Police Department. I just wanted to thank you for seeing me the other day and I was hoping we could meet soon to discuss a few questions I have. Please call me at 394-7841." That was the fourth message. I selected to save it and went on. The next two messages were hang-ups, and then there was some drunk guy who obviously had the wrong number. I was down to ten messages. I took a long pull from my water and continued listening. Eddie Gazarra and Carl Costanza had each left a message, telling me to call them if I needed anything. Lula had left two messages, Connie one. I made a mental note to call Connie at some point and deleted the voicemails.

There was one message from the phone company, ironically telling me that my service would be cut off if I didn't pay my bill soon. I sighed and deleted the message as well. Next was Detective Krenzler again. Boy, she was persistent. I figured I'd call her when the worst was over.

I pressed 7 to delete and the next voicemail came on. "Angel, you think you're pretty smart, huh?" My heart dropped several inches and the blood froze in my veins. "But it takes more than a few bullets to stop me," Teddy went on, "Only now you've made me angry. And you know what happens when daddies get angry, don't you?"

I was in shock when I pressed the 9 key to save the message. Ranger told me there was a chance Teddy had called. I knew it, too, but I had hoped my denial would make him go away. Far away. Like Mombassa.

I was trying to convince myself to listen to the rest of the messages when the intercom chirped. 'Saved by the bell!' I thought as I walked over to answer it.

"Babe, can you come down to 5? There's something you need to see." Ranger said. "I'll be right down," I replied, "There's something you need to hear." I grabbed my cell phone off the side table and left the apartment.

Ranger was waiting for me when I got off the elevator. "What is it?" I asked him. He jerked his head in the direction of the conference room. "Tank and Bobby brought a sample of their findings back," He said. "From Teddy's apartment?" No, from the farmer's market, Stephanie, I thought and did a mental eye roll. Ranger ignored my question and led me to the conference room.

I greeted Tank and Bobby and they looked like they were happy to see me. I hoped that meant there were no hard feelings about the day before in the garage.

They had brought in about six boxes and had spread them out on the conference table. I could see some books and magazines, but I didn't want to touch anything. Teddy's hands had touched these things, they had Teddy cooties.

"What did you find?" I asked Tank. Tank snorted. "More like what didn't we find," He said and stepped up to the table. "The guy has a subscription to 'Guns & Ammo', among with just about every book about weapons ever written." He spread the books out so I could see the covers. The titles didn't mean anything to me, but from the pictures I could tell they were crime novels as well as catalogues and war books. "So he has a weird hobby," I said, "I've seen worse. You didn't bring back his porn, did you?" Tank shook his head, either choosing not to understand my joke or not getting it.

"He's got his private stack," He said and pulled the largest box closer. He took out a thick scrapbook and opened it for me. I sucked in some air. This seemed to be the Stephanie Plum fan book. I had seen something similar before, it had belonged to Scrog. Somehow it hadn't shocked me quite as much because it had focused on Ranger. This book focused on me. It started with pictures of me in school, God only knew how he'd gotten those. Tank kept turning the pages and I looked at every newspaper article ever written about me. My mouth went dry as I looked at the next pages. They were full of photos. Pictures of me in front of my parents' house, pictures of me and Joe, pictures of me and Ranger. Both Joe and Ranger were crossed out with a black Sharpie. There were no comments under the photos. I forgot about the cooties and started turning the pages myself. Either Teddy had watched me for a very long time, like years, or he had stolen pictures from everyone I knew. The last pictures were the creepiest; they were taken in the hospital. Some were of me sleeping. I shuddered involuntarily and Tank sent me a sympathetic smile. "Ugh," I said. "That about sums it up," Ranger said, "But there's more." He opened another box and handed me a pair of latex gloves. I wondered what I'd need those for and if I really wanted to know. "Do I want to see this?" I asked. "Probably not," Ranger agreed, "Let's just say Gardner has spent a lot of time thinking about you. Whatever you touched that he could get his hands on, he kept it." I really wasn't sure I wanted to know any more details. Knowing that Teddy had collected my trash was bad enough. "And you're saying this is just a sample?" I asked.

Tank nodded. "His place is full of this shit. He may be an orderly by day, but by night he's one obsessed motherfucker."

I cleared my throat to say something, but there really wasn't anything to say. I sat down in one of the chairs and let my eyes wander over the boxes and what contents I could see. "We'll be going over these piece by piece," Ranger informed me, "You don't ever need to see them again." He put a steadying hand on my shoulder and I covered it with mine. "I'm okay," I said.

Okay, so Teddy was a little farther out there than my regular stalkers. But I figured if you had a rating system for your stalkers in the first place, sooner or later one would be off the chart.

"We'll run some tests to see if it's yours," Bobby said. I looked up and saw Ranger shoot Bobby an angry look. I knew I didn't want to know, but I had to ask, "See if what is mine?"

"The blood," Ranger said tonelessly and before I could jump up, he pushed his hand down on my shoulder. "This is the part you don't want to see." He was right, I didn't, but now I had to.

"What is it?" I asked. Tank ran his hand over his bald head and avoided looking at me. Bobby cleared his throat and seemed suddenly interested in his shoes. "Ranger?" I turned my head to look at him. He met my eyes and shook his head almost imperceptibly. "Babe," He just said. And for once, that was enough for me. When he said 'my things', I was thinking fast food wrappers and dinner napkins. I wasn't thinking blood. I nodded slowly. "He left another message," I said and handed Ranger my cell phone numbly. I had a sudden urge to run back upstairs and scrub my skin off.

"I'll copy it later," Ranger said, "Tank, get that shit out of here and have it tested." Tank and Bobby immediately got busy cleaning up the boxes and Ranger sat down next to me. "We knew he was a psycho. This just makes it more official." He said. True. But it also made it creepier, like icky-creepy. My skin was crawling at the thought of what might have been in the boxes. The scrapbook had freaked me out, but the pictures my mind was displaying of what might have been in the other boxes horrified me. "What's in the box, Ranger?" I asked again. I had changed my mind. If I didn't know for sure, there was no telling where my imagination would lead me.

"Are you sure?" Ranger asked, his hand on my arm. I nodded weakly. "If I don't know, I will imagine. I don't know what's worse." I said and met his eyes. Ranger took a deep breath and picked up a file that was lying on the table. "He was an orderly at St Francis," He said. I didn't know if he was reading off the file or just avoiding my eyes. "He had access to your medical files, your family's history and…the medical waste you created." Ranger's voice was steady through this report, but I felt bile rise in my throat. "Oh God…" I whispered. I had been at St Francis numerous times, with gunshot wounds, concussions, deep cuts and such. "Are you telling me he…he kept the bloody bandages?" Ranger nodded solemnly. I felt like I was going to throw up and took a couple deep breaths to calm my stomach. Ewwwwwee, was the only word in my head. Ick and double-ick!

"Anything else?" I asked, although I didn't know how it could get any worse. "You want to read the poems he wrote you?" Ranger asked and I let out a long breath. Poems I could handle. Joe had written a poem about me on the subshop's men's room wall years ago. Poems were the proverbial sticks and stones. I shook my head no, "I think I'll pass," I said, "Does it get any ickier than stuff with my blood on it?"

"Not ickier, but definitely creepier," Ranger said, "There are some locks of your hair…" I held my hand up to stop him. "Okay, I think I know enough," I said and tried to smile. Ranger took my hand and squeezed it. "You're safe here. I won't let anything happen to you, you know that."
I met his eyes and smiled for real. "Yeah, I know," I said, "Thank you." Ranger almost-shrugged in response.

When my cell phone rang I jumped and my heart sped up immediately. No way I could talk to him right now! Ranger checked the read-out and handed me the phone. "It's your sister," He said. I almost giggled in relief. I hadn't talked to Val in a while and she might just provide the distraction I needed right now, I figured.

"Hey, Val," I said when I had pressed the answer button, trying to put a chipper tone into my voice. There was no response. "Val?"

"Steph," Valerie said, and it sounded like she was about to cry. "What is it?" I asked, sitting up straight. I could feel Ranger tense up beside me. "Steph, you…you…can you come over?" Valerie asked and now I was sure she was crying. "Ummm," I said, cutting my eyes to Ranger, "It's kind of hard for me to…"

"Just come over right away, okay? There's someone here who needs to see you." Valerie pressed out. Then there was a rustling noise and I could hear Valerie scream. "You may want to come quickly, Angel," Teddy said, "I get bored very easily."

TBC

A/N: Please let me know what you think, your reviews mean the world to me!