Letter No 160
Dear Derek,
I have fully recovered from my car accident, I have been seeing a shrink and she says I am getting better, I can't sleep at night because I need your arms and also I keep having dreams about our baby. I have a huge scar up my abdomen which our chief of surgery will try and remove. The pain of missing you gets bigger and bigger every day.
I love you
Meredith x
It was now 2am in the morning and Derek had not left Joe's yet, he had just finished reading letter No 180 and tears were streaming down his face.
"You alright man?" Joe asked
"She was pregnant with my baby, we were having a daughter, but she lost it, and she went threw so much pain and suffering all by herself, and it was all because I wasn't there,"
"look man she may have lost the baby even if you were there,"
"I know but at least I could have protected her,"
"I know,"
"I have to speak to her,"
"Don't you think it is a bit late?"
"It is never too late,"
Once Derek reached Meredith's house, he saw her lights were still on and she was on the couch eating Ben & Jerry's © Ice Cream.
He gently knocked on the door.
When Meredith answered the door he could tell she had been crying.
"Meredith, I'm so sorry,"
She started crying again.
He enveloped her into a hug,
"Derek I'm the one who should be sorry,"
"No Meredith you don't get to say that, none of this was your fault, losing the baby was an accident, you have to understand all of this is my fault, I should have told you about Addison, I should have been there for you during your pregnancy, running out to get your cravings at ridiculously early times in the morning, that should have been me,"
"Derek, I love you,"
"I love you too,"
"But even though I missed you so much I don't know if I am ready for you to be in my life just yet, so I say we start off as friends and see what happens, ok?"
"Just friends?"
"Just friends,"
"ok well as a friend I say you get to bed and stop eating that junk at 2am,"
"That advice sucks, goodnight Derek,"
"Night, Meredith,"
He kissed her head and left.
The next day Meredith was awoken to the sound of her alarm blaring, she didn't have to be in until 9. She had not spoken to her friends yet, but from what she could tell they were pissed at her. Cristina had not talked to her yet and Izzie, Alex and George had said very little to her.
When she went down to the kitchen she found a note on the table.
Gone to work-
Iz and George
She made herself toast and coffee and grabbed a shower before leaving for work.
When she reached work she found out she had a spinal reconstruction at 2 and her intern would be Cristina.
When she was walking to the nurse station she bumped into Derek,
"Hey," she said
"Hey,"
"So I hear you have spinal reconstruction at 2, need any help?"
"Well if your schedule is free I could sure use the hand in my OR,"
"Oh so you own this hospital now do you,"
"Shut up at least I don't listen to crappy music in the OR,"
"That was a very low shot,"
"Don't you know,"
She saw Cristina approaching her,
"Duty calls see you at 2,"
"Morning Dr Yang,"
"Oh don't try and act all processional with me, just because you are now my boss doesn't mean I will be nice to you , I am pissed and I need to know what happened how could you leave without telling me,"
"I … don't know,"
"that's what I thought,"
"I have a spinal reconstruction at 2, do the pre op notes on the patient then scrub in,"