Soon I was seated on the train which was to take me to my future. I sat and stared out the window and watched the world rush by. All the buildings, houses, lives I passed by in an instant.
All the trees I saw began to blur into one blue – green mish mash and suddenly without my conscious accord an image of the cabin appeared before me. My thoughts rested there as I examined the fate of my children... They were struggling, hurting, perhaps even starving but I felt sure that Tom and Heaven would be strong and loving enough to hold what was left of the family together. After all they were old enough to have children of their own... they didn't really need me.
I didn't cry but I felt a heaviness in my heart, I felt the energy drain from my body and I sat slumped while I felt a strong measure of guilt.
The truth was, as long as I had nothing to look forward to, no love in my life and a terribly uncertain future I had felt no need for guilt of any type. But now things had changed – my life was far from blessed but I was on a train, headed toward a guaranteed job in a big city. I felt sad, now I was trapped in a different way – no matter how good and prosperous my life became I would never, ever be able to share it with my children. My only consolation was that I didn't believe that my presence in the cabin was doing any real good, our marriage was an ugly example and since Luke was sick and possibly not able to buy much food I would be one less mouth to feed.
I sat quietly for the remainder of my trip not meeting anyone's eyes, simply waiting for the long trip to be over.
At last the train pulled into Atlanta, the doors opened and I felt my body well caught in a huge surge of hurrying bodies – I felt terribly frightened and for a moment I felt a strong urge to crawl somewhere and hide from the impossibly huge bustling crowd.
At last the crowd dispersed and the train pulled lazily away, I stood standing upon the platform waiting for inspiration to hit. Part of me wanted to stand there forever in limbo no going back – no need to go forward and face the future. I was lost even though I knew where I was headed. Lost inside myself.
But luckily for me my inertia was broken by the instinctive need we all have – to get where we going despite all trepidation.
I ambled over to the ticket counter, the platform guard was on duty a very thin man with a slightly bony face, with very pale, pasty skin stretched over it, he was quite young and his manner was helpful but also a bit condescending as he seemed amused at my too polite questions "Firestone?" he asked "Yes I know that place" he said "You going to work there I presume?"
"Yes I am, could ya please tell me how to get there?" I was trying so hard to speak without slang – copying Tom and Heaven really.
He hastily gave me a few directions and started me off by pointing me in the right direction. "That direction" he said.
According to his directions I wouldn't have to walk far. I looked carefully at each of the houses that I passed along the way, looking for something familiar, the town was far different than Winnerrow, It was colder, greyer though, ironically, it had more colour, more people walking about all dressed differently from each other as if to prove that they didn't care what the world thought of them.
As I walked further on through the suburban part of town I noticed that it was common to see decrepit, sagging houses nestled closely to the bright and beautiful ones. It was as if people didn't even care what their own neighbours thought of them!
Truthfully I didn't know what to make of this alien world where appearances didn't seem to matter. All my sad life I had simply been judged by my appearance and labelled accordingly – doomed.
At last I reached the large impressive house called Firestone – after the people who lived there.
It was an impressive 3 storey mansion sitting atop an acre of beautifully manicured gardens. A miniature replica house sat behind the larger one looking ready to jump out at any moment to announce its presence. I was later to learn that this was the guesthouse. As I slowly, slowly walked up the path I noticed things that I hadn't from the street. A beautiful gushing waterfall lay to the right of the front door. Birds chirping merrily from the branches of a heavily blossomed shrub to the left. At last I reached the front door.
I knocked tentatively and when there was no response I knocked again, louder.
At last the door was answered.
A thin, old lady peeped out "Who's there?" she asked.
"Hello, I said, "My name is Sarah Cas... Williams, Emma Lundstrom said that you needed someone to work for you"
"Sarah Williams? I don't know anything about this, but please come in while I telephone my sister."
"Thank you," I said as I entered the house.
The nameless lady disappeared into the house and I was left to stand in the largest room I had ever been in. I pulled my breath in quickly – Oh what a high ceiling! It was domed and it had a beautiful relief pattern criss crossing over it making a diamond pattern.
The furniture was dark, dark lounges – soft brown coverings, small dark wood tables were arranged here and there and some held tiny ornaments and lovely green pot plants.
To my left was a large open fireplace with a mantle made from wood even darker than that of the tables. My eyes trailed over the mass of family pictures I saw laid out there and looked above to see how they had crept up the wall. I stepped further into the room amazed at the floor – wall to wall carpeting, thicker and softer than any shawl I had ever touched. The room was incredibly large but so superbly furnished that its cosiness was unmistakeable. I felt that I could spend a month exploring every part of that room and not grow bored.
Suddenly, the old woman was with me again, she seemed not to notice my awe.
She said, "Well I just spoke to Emma, and it seems that she thinks quite highly of you."
I felt myself blush.
"She is such a kind and thoughtful girl is Emma," she said sweetly.
"Well, I'm pleased to meet you Sarah, my name is Mrs Anna Firestone, my husband whom you will meet later is called Charles," she said holding out her hand. "Well, it's true that I am getting older and I need more help around the house than I used to need."
"I live here with my husband and we often have guests, old friends – my husbands business associates. As you can probably imagine it's a lot of work to keep the house presentable and the meals I have always cooked myself – I think of it as a point of honour that meals eaten within a home should be cooked by the lady of the house and not delivered or made by a cook."
The way she spat out the work cook got my attention.
"Yes it's true," she said with curled lips "When a woman cooks it's her lot in life and when a man does it it's suddenly his career." She snorted.
"But I digress" she explained "What I really do need is someone dependable, friendly and hardworking. Someone who can take orders and follow directions."
"Do you think that person could be you?"
"Yes, a course I would be more than happy to do anything you ask a me, I would be very grateful to work in such a lovely house" I said quickly.
"It's not a house, my dear, but a home," Anna said.
Suddenly she looked at me intently – "Where are you from Sarah?"
For an instant my mind went blank, my mouth gaped.
"I can hear something in your voice – sounds like West Virginia – is that where you are from?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"Oh yes" she said airily. "Beautiful area, shame about all the prejudice and poverty heh? She crackled.
I smiled weakly but I liked her, I guess that was when I first learned about her attitude to life – better to laugh than to cry.
"Ok lets go through the arrangements for your work." – "Firstly you will live in, you must be up no later than 7am after a dinner party to finish cleaning the house and 8am on all other days, I do despise rising early and would never insist someone else do it." "Secondly you must work through a list of jobs everyday. You are entitled to two 15minute breaks at 10am and 3pm plus an hour for lunch at Midday. You will not be permitted to end your days work until all of the jobs on your daily list are completed"
"The pay is $80 per week + room and board, you will also have 3 days off per fortnight which will rotate each week to suit the needs of the house."
"Do you have any questions?"
I felt a bit overwhelmed by too much information, I thought it all sounded great especially the money, I would have worked without days off, without breaks for half that amount, but of course I also had no other options either.
I shook my head slowly while looking at her and smiling.
"Great," she said "Oh, and I nearly forgot, do you have a drivers licence?"
"No, will I need one for the job?" I asked worriedly
"Yes, but that's ok, we'll just have to arrange for some lessons for you, no problem." She smiled kindly. "It will be a great help if you are able to drive into town to collect the groceries and things for the house, until you have your licence you will have to catch trains." "Oh well," she sighed. "Well, let me show you to your room"