All during that afternoon while I vacuumed, dusted and ironed my thoughts were troubled by fears of what would happen if Luke found me.

I wondered what Kitty wanted from me. I guessed it was mostly revenge for Luke not marrying her when we were younger.

Kitty had once been my best friend and my worst enemy.

She and I had been inseparable during our time at the Winnerrow school, we had almost looked like twins with our flawless porcelain skins and fiery red hair. We always enjoyed people thinking we were sisters.

We had gone through puberty together, both of us growing very tall and developing large breasts.

But Kitty had always lacked the softness I knew I possessed and our friendship had grown strained throughout the years as her cruel streak widened and she became ever more competitive.

Once Luke came into the picture it was as if I were her worst enemy, nothing was going to get in the way of her being with Luke. She played many cruel tricks on me and began to scratch and bite me occasionally when she could no longer hide her rage, attacking me.

But although she was Luke's type physically he seemed to regard her as a joke, simply using her and discarding her as he saw fit.

I wanted Luke too desperately to feel sorry for Kitty and the terrible way he treated her. I should have paid attention then to the cruelty Luke was capable of.

Foolishly I thought my softness and love would make him love me and see me differently from her. But in the end the result was the same for both of us...

But now Kitty was gonna make me suffer.

Luke, Luke how I was beginning to hate that name – that man who looked so very beautiful on the outside and was so ugly and rotted inside.

The rot had spread to all his actions, and throughout his life - contaminating everything and everyone he touched.

I felt a hard ball of hate in the pit of my stomach.

Luke had discarded of our children too – what type of man was he really? A monster.

I felt tears beginning to come again – why couldn't he have just done the decent thing and looked after the children? Why couldn't he be trusted with the most basic responsibilities of fatherhood? Perhaps he had never loved any of the children – just as he had never loved me.

I looked up sharply to see Johnathan watching me from the shadows. "Don't cry Sarah," he said softly.

"I'm ok," I said.

"No - you're not, I know it's none of my business but I'm here if you ever want to talk." He said.

He had approached me - close enough for me to look into his eyes. I looked up into them in wonder.

He was handsome, young and successful what on earth he saw in me I couldn't guess. But there he was looking at me with interest in his eyes.

"I guess I've been so worried about being able to support myself that now I am safe here I am free to grieve for the first time." I lied.

"Oh Sarah," he whispered reaching out to stroke my face. "I'm so sorry you are sad, you are so beautiful and good." He breathed.

"I just want to comfort you – reach out to you. I see something within you, something tender and untouched which draws me to you."

I felt shocked by his tenderness and shocked also by the unexpectedness of it. Since we had met I had taken only the barest notice of him, my mind had been utterly pre-occupied with the problems from my past.

"Thank you," I said softly, "Please don't worry about me."

"I really must pack up here and begin the dinner, Anna wants to teach me how to make Shepherds Pie tonight."

"Ok," he smiled "I look forward to trying it."

"I'll see you tonight at dinner, Sarah."

I stood staring at the door long after he had left before packing up and heading for the kitchen.