I felt excited to see their names. Without thinking I tore the letter open.

Dear Heaven, (I read)

I hope you are well, Logan has just given me your address so now I know where to send my letters.

I looked up Candlewick on a map I found in the local library here and I must say it looks like a really posh and nice place.

Buck Henry is not the mean and difficult man you no doubt think he is, I have learned that he comes off like a brute but underneath it all he is a kind and gentle man.

I have a nice clean room and Mr Henry's wife cooks really nourishing meals everyday and because we all live together on a dairy farm we have more milk and cheese than we can eat and drink.

Did I mention that Mr Henry has two daughters? Well he has their names are Thadie and Laurie.

I am going to school everyday – with chores before and after.

So I know we can both still achieve our dreams. Truth is and I know you don't want to hear this but Pa has probably made it easier for us to achieve our dreams. We aren't starving any more, we have enough clothes and food and our own rooms, soft beds, blankets and pillows.

The only sadness I have is that we aren't together anymore, but I know we will be together again in the future,

Love,

Your brother Tom.

I had tears running down my cheeks as I read the note from Tom.

Tommy, my firstborn. Sweet flame haired boy of mine.

I was glad that he sounded happy in his letter, surprised to hear that he was living on a dairy farm.

As I walked I noticed dark storm clouds gathering. I put the letter and envelope into my new purse and walked slowly back to the bus stop to wait for the next one going into Atlanta.

I thought briefly of putting the letter back into the letterbox, but in my haste I had torn the envelope. I decided it was easier to keep the letter – I wanted to keep it. I loved Tom and needed to know that he was safe and happy.

I stayed on the bus all the way to Atlanta train station where I caught the train the rest of the way home.

I sat looking out the window watching the rain splashing lazily onto the windows and running slowly down the glass and thought of Tom.

Remembering his strength, vitality and good humour in spite of all the hardships he had suffered. I couldn't help wishing that he had mentioned me in the letter. Of course I no longer deserved to be mentioned or even thought of – after what I had done. All of the children probably even blamed me for what Luke had done. They were too young to understand that Luke had driven me to act as I had.

I sighed.

The return address was in Winnerrow c/o Logan Stonewall, I wished I could have known where Tom was living, but it seemed he didn't even want Heaven to know.

That worried me some but I put my fears out of my mind as I re read the letter.

Now I knew the fates of Tom and Heaven.

Poor, poor Heaven, Kitty was unstable at best. I wondered what her husband was like. Kitty's husband was most likely a weak man who had trouble standing up to her, so I was betting that he wouldn't be much protection for Heaven then.

In spite of my fears about Heaven I felt truly happy, I knew that they were safe, warm and well fed and in contact with each other.

I knew more about Kitty including where she lived and that she was married.

I knew the name of the man who had Tom and may be able to find out where he lived.

Now I would have a chance to know what my children were doing, I vowed to learn the fates of all my children.

This was something that I had to do.