"What have we got here, my sweet?" Filch asked, a sly, evil smile spreading on his wearily aging face. His gruff unshaved stubble made him seem even more dark and dreary than usual, as did the singed eyebrows. Apparently Peeves had played a joke of some sort and Filch had been the butt of it. "A runaway mental and an out of class Slytherin?"

"Oh I have an excuse." Draco said casually, trying his best to act as if he were in control of the situation. "And calling Granger mental isn't quite like a staff member of Hogwarts. I could report you to my father-"

"-Who would tell you that's the way it works at Hogwarts." Filch said with a grin. "Lad, don't try to play superior over me. – I wasn't even talking about you." He nudged to Pansy whose eyes went wide.

"ME?" She asked, putting on a melodramatic shocked expression. "I have every right to be out here!" She said flatly. "I was…umm… helping out a Prefect!" She pointed to Draco with haste. "Granger escaped from the Hospital wing and we were bringing her back, the sweet little…" She gritted her teeth and patted Hermione's head. "Darling."

Filch raised a curious eyebrow. "Sure, and cats can dance a polka."

"Professor McGonagall probably could! Ask her to transfigure herself!" Draco said, pointing his finger.

"This is bloody ridiculous." Filch exclaimed. "You two just came out of the scene of the crime HE was caught in. It looks very… suspicious, if you ask me." He smirked and hobbled over to the two of them. "Mrs. Norris caught you in the act."

"Act of what?" Draco asked.

"… We're not sure yet, but we're sure it was something to destroy this school!" Filch shouted. Draco concluded from this that Filch had officially lost it and it was safe to call him a basket case. Pansy concluded that the black, dingy boots and brown overcoat Filch were wearing did not match in the least, and he needed to be in fashion school. Hermione didn't conclude anything, or at least not present to the narrator or author of this story. Filch concluded that these brats were bloody liars, but he had no proof to back him up, aside from the watchful eye of Mrs. Norris. "Oh fine. You unpleasant children get out of here before I change my mind!"

Draco, Pansy, and Hermione scampered off down the hallway and turned the corner with swiftness. They didn't stop until they arrived at the Slytherin Common rooms with an evil grin – Well, Draco and Pansy grinning for the most part. Hermione was too busy trying to concentrate on Draco's blonde locks of hair to care about anything else. "Griffins." Draco said to the giant painting, as it swung open with the password given. Hermione looked shakily around, confused as Draco took her arm and guided her into the Slytherin Common Room. Pansy followed hurriedly behind them, trying her best to separate the two, but not succeeding. "Welcome," Draco said to Hermione, "To the Slytherin Dorms." He led her to a sofa and sat Hermione down on it. "Sit. Stay. Heel."

"She's not a dog." Pansy stated, seating herself in a comfortable armchair. "Oh wait –she's as good as one! She's a bitch!" She then began to laugh hysterically at her own joke, doubling over and her face turning red. "Ohohoh! That was perfect! Wasn't it Draco?" She sniggered.

"… Pansy, I don't laugh at other people's jokes." Draco stated. "They laugh at mine, and then I laugh."

"Well FINE then." Pansy crossed her arms and pouted. Hermione's eyes were roaming, taking in every detail of the room with enormous splendor. Draco didn't take notice to Hermione and scratched his cheek.

"You know, when this place is empty is kind of… cold and dank." Draco pointed out. "I think I like it better!"

"Me too!" Pansy concurred. Taking a deep breath she looked to Granger. "And what are we going to do with her?" Draco shrugged. "You don't know?"

"I haven't given it a lot of thought, alright?" He said. "I think you should go to class." Draco wondered if Granger was really as mental as she seemed. And it appeared that whenever Pansy wasn't around she'd prove to be quite sane. So if Pansy went to class, Draco would get a higher chance of Hermione goofing up and speaking.

"And why should I?" Pansy snapped.

"Because if you don't I'm writing you up and giving you detention." Draco suddenly became very agitated with Pansy. Couldn't she just get a clue for once?

"You wouldn't!" Pansy exclaimed. "Draco, you and I are chums!"

"Chums or not, I'm not in the mood to put up with anyone at the moment. –Besides, we weren't chums to begin with! You dumped me before we even went out!"

"You're NEVER going to forget that, are you?" Pansy sighed. "Fine, but I hope you're ready to be kissing my ass when at the end of the month Granger won't be able to comprehend how to work a tea-bag." And with a smirk on her face, Pansy strolled out of the room curtly with a sneer on her glossy pink lips. Draco fell back and slumped in his seat.

"Great. Now I've just screwed up again!" He looked to Hermione and smirked. "Oh, but when Pansy gets a gander at you at the end of the month, she'll be fluffing out that tutu as if it were a recital!" Hermione cocked her head to the side in confusion. "A recital. You know, a performance, a concert." Hermione still stared blankly. "Oyo, we have a lot to work on." He pulled the ring out of his pocket and gave it a one over. Obviously the one who owned this ring is on a Quidditch team." He said to himself. It only seemed logical in his eyes. Before Hermione could get a gander at it, though, Draco put it back in his pocket. Right now he was too caught up in his own problems to worry about who could have made Granger go mental. He wanted to win this bet with Pansy.

"Hey Granger…" He said slyly, slithering his way over next to her on the couch. "Can you say Hog-warts?" Hermione's face blushed as he moved even closer to her and put his arm around her. "Come on, Gra---Hermione. Say Hog-Warts." Hermione moved into his arms but did not answer. Draco cringed but kept on his seductive journey, trying to get her to say Hogwarts. When he realized this was not going to work, he removed his arm from around her and realized he was still damp from his 'morning swim' in the pool.

"Granger, come with me." He said, standing up and tugging on her arm. Unwillingly he led her up the boy's staircase and into his dorms. With a semi-violent push he placed Hermione on his bed, across from the bathroom.

"You just…stay." He said, backing up "I'm going to dry off. Just stay." And with that he walked to his dresser drawer, grabbed an extra change of robes, and marched the bathroom. But since this was the boy's dormitory, he wasn't used to shutting the bathroom door and left it swinging wide open.

Inside the bathroom he stripped off his soaking wet pants and boxers. They made a slosh sound as they hit the cold tile floor, while Draco grabbed the nearest gray towel and started drying off. He heard a squeak on the bed outside but, being in his normal only-caring-about-himself routine, he did not turn around. Just as he reached down and grabbed his soaking pants, the ring fell out and rolled across the floor. With a hasty sigh he laid the pants on the counter and searched for the ring, retrieving it two feet away. After smirking as he picked up the ring, he looked in the mirror next to him and made a few manly nude poses. A giggle was heard to the side and as he turned his face he realized Granger was staring at him, her face red from forehead to where her neckline went in her robes. Draco looked at her a moment, looked down, realized he was completely naked, and screamed bloody murder.

"Christ, Granger! Don't you know anything about privacy?" He screamed at her, and slammed the bathroom door with a heavy BANG. He pushed his back up against the door and took in several embarrassed breaths. GRANGER HAD JUST SEEN HIM NUDE. It wasn't as if he were ashamed of his lack of clothes, but – For heaven sakes! He wasn't a virgin or anything (he had lost his virginity to a pure-blood from Hufflepuff), and yet… There were just things society didn't have a right to see unless with permission, and his 'banana' was one of them! "Guess we're even now!" He shouted through the door. "I saw you nude, you saw me. HAPPY?" Slowly, he threw on his new set of robes and towel dried his hair before coming out of the bathroom to find – nothing.

Granger was not seen on the bed with her blushing face. In fact, she wasn't anywhere in the room. Draco stood in shock and like a helpless mother losing her kid in Honeydukes screamed out "WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO NOW?" Exasperated. That was the one word to describe Malfoy at this point. Racing, he ran out of the Slytherin Boy's Dormitories and out of the Common Room. In the hallway, suddenly, he heard the laugh of none other than Blaise Zambini. Sure enough, there was good old Blaise-The-Backstabber with - Hermione, having her cornered up against the wall with a smirk across his face. "Blaise, what ARE you doing?" Draco said with a sigh.

"Oh, hello Draco!" Blaise said happily. "I heard Granger lost her memory and I was going to have a go with her while she couldn't remember who she was!" Blaise then leaned up. Hermione looked thankful and rushed over to Draco, burying herself in his arms. "Wow… she seems to really care for you."

"Yeah." Draco said, smirking slightly but sort of thankful he had made it out here before Blaise had gotten his way with Granger. Draco now considered Hermione his pupil of learning, and wasn't about to have something happen to his chance to see Pansy's ass almost fully exposed underneath spandex and tights. "She's a real pain in my arse." He pushed Hermione lightly, but she wouldn't let go.

"Ah." Blaise said, and after a long pause suggested, "Do you reckon she'd fancy a threesome?"

"BLAISE!" Draco said disgusted. "I don't swing that way!"

"Well, neither do I but damn it Draco, I wanted to shag her." He nudged to Hermione.

Draco rolled his eyes and said, "Well its not as if I WANT her so infatuated with me. – Wait. Since when were YOU so infatuated with HER?"

"Sort have always been." Blaise shrugged. "I never did anything because she's a Gryffindor, though, and a tight ass bitch at that." Draco snorted a laugh.

"More like a stuck up tight ass preppy know it all." Draco corrected his friend and patted Hermione's head. "But she's my ticket to seeing Pansy in a tutu."

"Pansy?" Blaise laughed. "In a tutu? With her skinny arse? DO tell…" Ten minutes, three sniggers, five gasps, and two guffaws later from Blaise, Draco had concluded the tale of finding Hermione in the bathroom and the bet Pansy and him had decided on. Blaise still was eyeing Hermione with a fake sweet smile and a little lust in his eyes. Draco didn't think anything of it, however. That was Blaise for you. If you told him a street pole was easy to get into bed he would have shagged it. Draco always wondered why Pansy had dumped Blaise this last month. The man was a sex-god, though Draco never knew this from experience. Just from the screams and moans in the bed next to him when Blaise had forgotten to put silencing charms on his four-poster bed. Not that Draco was complaining. It was like having a porno right in his very own house.

Blaise checked his watch. "It's nearly time for lunch, Draco my boy. Care to join me?" He said the last bit to Hermione, who cringed and tightened her grip on Draco. Draco smirked in reply.

"I think I better get Granger back to Madam Pomfrey's before Filch turns me in for kidnapping the smartest smart ass in school." With a smile and a wave Blaise agreed to meet Draco in the Commons in fifteen minutes. As Draco watched Blaise turn the corner of the hallway, he gave out a lightened sigh. "Heh, Blaise likes you, eh? Maybe I should just stick you with him. You'd get a good ride and he likes you." And yet deep within Draco's emotions came a small ping of jealousy.

Hehehe, I love Blaise. Always have.

Please R&R!

Amy
AKA
RootbeerFloat