Chapter Seven: (Marginally) Successful Seductions
In which Lily makes a terrible choice between right and wrong. I'm taking a vote here. All in favour of right vote 'yay', all in favour of wrong vote 'nay'. Hopefully setting the trend: I vote 'yay', where 'right' is stuff I feel like doing and 'wrong' is stuff I don't feel like doing, more than actual moral values or anything.
On with the unfortunately-named show! (Come on, Successful Seductions? What is this, harlequin meets grade eight english class? I hate myself for this one.)
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Smoke billowed out of my ruined cauldron, engulfing the Marauders and causing several of my less stout-of-heart classmates to swoon. I looked at it glumly. I reflected on the way it mirrored my life, and the rapid downward spiral it was taking. I removed the handy deafening charm I had placed on myself: it looked like Slughorn was winding down.
"… And what is more, Potter, Evans mastered this potion three weeks ago. I don't know about you Gryffindors, but any of my house would have been…"
Yeah, yeah, any self-respecting Slytherin would have been grovelling for help by now.
His words and my brain slowly started to synchronize.
Evans.
"…Tutoring…" Wait, he was still going? I kicked Padfoot under the table to see if he was taking notes. He let out a sort of half-snore and twitched in his seat. I kicked Moony, who gave me a thumbs-up.
We were in first block Potions. I was grumpy. Evans, sitting at the table next to us, was grumpy. The whole world was grumpy, except possibly Padfoot who had spent the night seducing Dori and was now sleeping peacefully in his desk. I kicked him again for good measure.
The bell rang.
"What'd he say?" I asked, stuffing my things in my bag for a hasty retreat. Remus opened his mouth to answer, but just then I heard a derisive snort from Evans' direction.
I turned towards her, smirk in place. "What was that, Miss Evans? Is this an admission to your fine listening skills?"
She spun around, ready for a fight. "You may think you're the centre of this classroom, Potter," she snapped, "but the fact that you speak EXTREMELY LOUDLY might account for the majority of what you would call eavesdropping."
That rattled around in my brain for a while. I nodded to make it look like I understood. "Yeeah… listen, Evans, you know how much we both love Slughorn –"
"How much Slughorn loves her, you mean," said Padfoot, who had come up behind and was now yawning massively. Helping Dori seemed to have really worn him out. And yes, I asked him to, and no, that did not give him an excuse to act all mightier-than-thou look-who's-getting-the-action.
"Sure, whatever," I said sulkily. "Love is in the air."
"Is that what your potion was supposed to be? You might have chosen something a bit more fragrant." Evans waved her hand in front of her face to clear the smoke a bit, and I scowled.
"Do you really not see what I'm getting at here?"
"No, Potter, why don't we spell it out?" She shoved her face close to mine. "I'm not going to tutor you. Not in Italian, not – mmph!"
When is that girl going to learn? I obviously do not respond well to temptation. Although 'responding well' is up to interpretation. If my enjoyment of kissing her was any measure, I would say that my response was just about perfect.
Unfortunately, she begged to differ. She did this with a polite slap, followed by a shove, followed by a kick to the midriff. Which wasn't very fair, I was down by then.
"Lily! Lily, what are you doing?" Slughorn came racing over, as fast as his little feet could carry him, to haul her off my bleeding form. She was still panting, although the screams had subsided. She stood there glaring, too angry to speak.
Remus stepped up to the plate. "It was probably the lack of oxygen in the room, Professor. Here, let me help her out." He took her by the arm and dragged her from the room before she could do any more damage. Slughorn watched her go and then turned back to see me struggling to my feet.
"Alright, Potter?"
"Yes, sir," I said.
He looked me up and down and then chuckled. "What a girl! Offended her, did you? It's all right," he said, patting me on the back and simultaneously pushing me out the door, "everyone's done it. I tell you, if that girl was an Animagus, she'd be a wildcat."
"I prefer dogs," I said coldly. "Excuse me." I stalked off, brushing the soot off my robes. Remus was talking to Evans up ahead, and they were both gesturing wildly and probably not hearing each other in the least. I grabbed her by the arm and before she could protest, hauled her into an empty classroom.
"What the hell do you think you're –"
"Sit," I said.
"You can't –"
"We need to talk."
"We most certainly do n–"
"Stand if it makes you more comfortable," I said, "but if you don't mind." I sat. Delicately. She had pushed me rather hard.
She folded her arms and glared.
"I'm starting to get concerned about the level of violence in our relationship."
"We don't have a relationship," she said, before she remembered that she didn't want to talk to me.
"It isn't a good one," I said, "but yes, we do. Now, I could retaliate and we could turn this into a full-fledged war, or we could handle this like mature, responsible adults and move past your little tantrum."
"This sounds familiar," she said, looking at me at last, her voice positively sizzling with sarcasm. "What is it, you provoke me and then lecture me on what we should do about it? Maybe we should LEAVE ME ALONE."
She looked away again. I got up and walked in front of her glare. She switched it to the opposite side.
"Evans," I said irritably, then decided that softening my tone would probably minimize future damage to my body. "Lily. Look at me." I tried to take her by the chin, and ducked my head to catch her glance.
"What?" she snapped.
I had finally managed to get her attention and immediately forgot what I was going to say.
"What?" she said again.
"Sorry," I murmured, reaching my hand toward her cheek without quite touching her. "Your eyes just –"
"Yes, I know they're green, what were you saying?"
"I can't remember."
She laughed, but it wasn't too unkind. She sort of batted her eyelashes a bit. I realized she wasn't trying to flirt, she was trying not to cry. So much for the riled-and-scary Evans.
"What's the matter, Lil?"
"I feel bad that I always yell at you, but you drive me crazy. Why can't you leave me alone?"
"I got Dori on the right track," I said, trying to add a happy note to the conversation. "Maybe things will pick up. It's been a little rough, huh?"
"Don't change the subject," she said, but not like she meant it. Deciding it was safe enough to risk it, I reached out and did touch her cheek this time.
"Hey Evans," I said, putting on my really, really suave voice, "do you want to tutor me in Potions? I could make you a proper love potion next time."
"I definitely want you to get your hands on one of those." She grabbed my hand from her face and tried to push it away. I pulled her hand along with it, into my pocket. "What are you –"
"I promise to speak only in Italian," I said, grinning as she shuffled forward. I tugged experimentally on her arm.
"Give me my hand back, you." She was trying to look mean but she was almost laughing, I could tell.
"What's this? I pick-pocket? Are you trying to steal the key to my heart?"
"No, sir, only to your Gringott's cell." She yanked her hand out, key and all. I gasped.
"Don't make me call for the fortune-hunter police!"
Padfoot leaped through the doorway. "Did I hear my name?"
"NO!" I shouted, so that Evans clapped her hands over her ears and Padfoot leaped back out of the room. I covered her hands with mine.
"Shh," I said, "the scary man is gone now."
She lifted our hands away from her ears. "I heard 'airy maize goo'."
"That was most definitely not what I said." I stepped closer to her and watched her eyes flutter closed. "There, now I can think properly. Your eyes are awfully intense, dear."
"Sorry," she whispered.
"Oh, it's my pleasure."
Her eyes opened again. "James," she said, "when you're being nice, try not to sound too sleazy."
"Sorry."
"It's my pleasure," she said, smirking a little. I was corrupting her already. I brushed her lips with mine.
"I think," here I removed one of my hands from her grasp to thread through her hair, so that I could turn her head a little, "that you need to take things less seriously." I ran the tip of my nose down her ear, and then licked it. I felt her start to pull away in surprise.
"Okay," she said breathily, as I blew on the wet spot.
"Hm. Hold on, I'm going to kiss you again." I did, and then continued. "I also think that I want to take this very, very seriously, and that you should let me."
She leaned back to look at my forehead. "You're still kind of bleeding from where I knocked you into that desk."
"I know, it hurts."
"Sorry. It was instinctive." She touched her fingers to it.
"Maybe you could consider toning that down a bit."
"I learned it from my dad. He's a black belt in karate."
No wonder she couldn't find any boyfriends, between that and me. Scary thought: "Does he have to approve of me before I can date you?"
"Did I even say I would?"
"I thought I could safely assume you were convinced."
"Nope," she said. "Not even close."
"Oh, no, do I have to keep snogging you? Damn, I thought we could skip this part."
"In favour of…?" She raised her eyebrows surprisingly high. I laughed.
"Conversation. It's so stimulating!"
She looked at me thoughtfully. "If I dated you would you find something other than me to converse about?"
"I'd consider it."
"An enticing proposition, on the whole. But I'm unconvinced."
I sighed, and kissed her grudgingly. Then I kissed her cheekbone, and her jawbone, and her collarbone, and pretty much any bone visible, because when I do that they melt in my arms.
"Listen, Potter, I'm going to think this over and get back to you, okay?" she squeaked, dragging herself away.
"Just let me know when I can kiss you minus the kick to the head," I called after her. She grimaced apologetically, blew me a kiss, left, and then ran back in.
"And don't let anyone know, alright? It's just not really my thing."
"What, showing off?" I asked. She narrowed her eyes and growled.
"Just because you do it –"
"Quick, before I unconvince you." I shoved her out the door, managing to get my hand up her shirt in the process. When she was gone I slumped into a desk.
Now my sympathy for Padfoot was real. All this seduction was hard work.
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A/N: The father-is-a-black-belt thing is a heads up to my great and, coincidentally, red-headed friend Purrr (that's not really her name, but she's writing this faaabulous d/g right here at fanfiction) whose father (this will shock you) is a black belt in karate! Oh my gosh I did not see that one coming! She also has attacked me for moving too quickly in her presence. Unfortunately she is not a hot male, and thus could not kiss it better.
Now that I think about it, if it was going to be a valid comparison I'd have to be the hot male. I wonder if that would be pro or con?
You can vote on that too if the whim strikes you.