Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss Whedon, and Mutant Enemy, and were made flesh by the actors that gave them life. I borrow them here out of reverence, with respect and for fun, not profit.
A/N: I know the reference to kitten poker in Chapter 4 is out of sequence, but it's such a lovely image I couldn't resist! Please forgive me for taking liberties with canon, but I only go where my muse takes me.
Chapter Seven - Trap
Spike took out a small brown paper bag from the pocket of his duster and tipped the contents onto the flat top of the sarcophagus. Two identical pendants fell out. Marbled creamy-brown stones, about the size of a thumb nail were set in delicate metal cages and suspended on fine silver chains.
Buffy's face fell, "So now we're wearing matching jewellery? How's that gonna defeat Glory? What, she'll think it's so tacky she'll run away screaming? Kinda doubt it with her track record of cheap and nasty."
"Yeah, that skanky bint is the Queen of Vulgarity. But, no," Spike rolled his eyes, "These are not for us to wear. I thought you might realise by now that my taste is a bit more sophisticated than matching Kargip stones."
"Yeah, sophisticated, that's the word for the dated punk-goth thing you've got going for you there, granddad," Buffy sneered playfully. "Anyhow, make with the 'splainy."
"Okay, you bleeding fashion victim you: these necklaces are like powerful magnets."
Buffy picked one up and inspected it. "Looks like marble to me; doesn't feel like a magnet."
"That's because it's not a regular kinda magnet. It's a special sort that brings the people who wear the necklaces together."
Buffy gave Spike her best furrowed brow look and he continued, "Okay, say two people each have one of these pendants. They become separated and want to see one another again. They both put these on and 'abracadabra', they're together again."
"Do they have to say 'abracadabra'? 'Cause it sounds a bit corny and it might be difficult to get someone to say it against their will, or if they don't speak English, or …"
"Like you, you mean? No, they don't have to say 'abracadabra'. It's just a bloody figure of speech, you blond bint. They just have to put the necklaces on and want to be together. The Kargip stone does the rest," Spike explained, not as patiently as he might have.
"So how does that help us with Glory?"
"Well," said Spike grandly, "I have a cunning plan! I'm going to present a god with a small token of my esteem. But first we need to capture us a Cookie Monster!"
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It was dark now so Buffy and Spike headed out in search of another inter-dimensional creature. A couple of fledglings, leaning against a tree comparing their brief after-life experiences were no match for the slayer/vampire tag team and they made short work of an even shorter troll who they literally tripped over.
Then, just a Spike was beginning to worry that they would ever find what they were looking for, they both stopped dead at the sound of a grating roar. Running forward with glee they were just in time to see a fledgling dust as his head came off in the mouth of an overgrown teddy bear ('teddy bear?!').
The giant toy had golden curly fur, cute round ears, huge saucer eyes, and enough teeth in its mouth to give Jaws a run for his money.
"It's … it's a teddy," breathed Buffy incredulously.
"Yep, guess Glory's messin' with some toy dimension." Spike replied, mildly surprised, but unfazed by the sight of a giant carnivorous children's soft toy.
Spike, continued softly, "We want it alive. Drive it back towards the old Espenson mausoleum."
Though she couldn't figure out what Spike was up to, Buffy nodded her ascent as they both moved to the left of the creature.
The bear, still spitting vamp dust from its vicious-looking snout, sensed their arrival and stopped looking for the remains of its last victim to snarl at the two new sources of food.
Spike ran up and landed a drop kick in the middle of its chest, pushing it backwards. Buffy aimed her kick at its jaw, connecting as Spike came back with a punch to its throat. Buffy's double kick to its belly was followed by a left hook to its jaw from Spike while his right fist slammed into the bear's side.
Buffy and Spike fought in concert; one blow delivered, the other struck, as the first attacker prepared the next assault. The blows and kicks flowed with balletic grace and precision, and with brutal force.
The bear snarled but was seemingly unable to defend itself. Its paws were too big and unwieldy to pose much of a threat to the skilled warriors that it faced. Its teeth, whilst plentiful and dangerously sharp, were only useful if it could get its snout near enough to bite, something Buffy and Spike were assiduously avoiding.
The fledgling had been easy prey for the bear, being slow, unsure of his own powers and being rooted to the spot, like a deer caught in headlights, by the unimaginable sight of a huge killer teddy bear.
Buffy and Spike had no such hang-ups and were quickly pushing the stunned bear back towards the Espenson mausoleum. Once there, Buffy could see that Spike had prepared the tomb earlier. The iron gates were propped open and a large padlock hung in readiness from a crossbar.
By now the giant bear was losing its footing as it tried to keep upright under the barrage of blows. The Slayer and vampire eased back, not wanting to topple the creature until it could be driven into the trap Spike had set.
Taking several paces backwards in an effort to regain its balance, the bear placed itself directly in front of the mausoleum entrance. A scissor-kick from Buffy pushed it into the tomb as Spike clanged the gates and padlocked them.
Turning, the victors leapt and high-fived in jubilation, both grinning like Cheshire Cats.
"Wow, that was fun! Can we do it again, huh?" Buffy trilled.
"Another day, pet," Spike beamed at Buffy's enthusiasm. "We still have business to take care of. And, erm, I need you to do something for me." Spike wasn't quite sure how to broach the next phase of his 'cunning plan' with Buffy.
He pulled her to him, gripping her upper arms, and asked her, "Do you trust me, Buffy?"
"Yes," came her whispered response, without hesitation.
"Okay, I need you to stay with Edward here," indicating the caged, and now puzzled and immobile, bear.
Buffy nodded.
"I'll be back in a wee while with Glory," there was a sharp intake of breath from Buffy, "and I need you to handcuff yourself to the gate before I get here with her. Its okay, they're fake 'cuffs; they don't actually lock, just look like they do."
Looking towards the tomb she saw a pair of handcuffs hanging from the far edge of the one of the gates. She nodded again, though she didn't understand what Spike intended.
"Then I need you to ignore everything I say to Glory. Can you do that for me?" Buffy nodded again, confused by his serious demeanour and inexplicable instructions.
"Ignore whatever I say until I shout 'NOW', then unlock the cage as fast as you can and throw this," he dropped one of the Kargip necklaces into her palm, "round any part of the bear. You'll never get it round its neck so go for its paw or over its ear. Just so long as it's around the bear, and you're not holding it. Then you know what to do?" Spike drew the knife from his Doc Martens and handed it to her. "You must kill it AFTER you put the necklace on it, okay?"
He glanced over briefly at the bear which was now leaning against the back wall of the tomb sitting, inert, in typical teddy bear pose, looking like an enormous fairground prize.
Buffy gazed into the intense blue eyes that were now staring into her with such earnestness and said quietly, with every bit of conviction she could muster, "Yes, Spike, I understand."
"Good. Look, I gotta go now. But I need to know you will take no notice of anything you hear me say. Please, luv, I need to know that you won't pay me any heed."
"Yes. I trust you, Spike."
Spike bought his lips down to crush hers with fervour, and then he was gone, striding across the cemetery, his iconic duster billowing out behind him as he stalked into the night.
Alone with her thoughts Buffy reviewed what had just happened. She thought she got the gist of Spike's plan and she wasn't concerned about killing the monster bear, but that wasn't what she was pondering. She was intrigued by Spike's request for her to pay no attention to whatever he said, but more than that, she was wondering about her relationship with Spike.
She knew she felt something for him, but she couldn't, or wouldn't, put a name to the feeling. Over the last two days she had put herself totally at his mercy; she had trusted him with her life. She wasn't sure why.
She knew well enough the reasons not to trust him. He was a master vampire; a slayer of slayers; a former quarter of the Scourge of Europe, ruthless and cruel; a powerful and cunning foe, who had frequently threatened to kill her.
He had survived for over one hundred years by draining humans of every drop of their blood. His partner during this killing spree was a looney-tunes crazy skanky 'ho who led him into all kinds of debauchery.
Plus, his recent dalliance with the BuffyBot was just too weird and sooo gross. She should be insulted by his perversion, but strangely she wasn't. In fact, in spite of herself, she felt kind of flattered, in a creepy, 'ewww' sort of way. And perhaps a bit curious too.
She knew he didn't kill humans anymore, well thanks to the chip in his head. But, when she thought about it, he could still get minions to do his killing for him but he hadn't.
And he had done so much for Dawn; for her.
And in these last couple of days she had felt, …. what was it? She had felt loved. Yes, she felt loved, cherished, respected. More than that, Spike treated her as an equal; they went into battle as matched warriors, he comforted her and allowed her to comfort him, in arguments he didn't oppose, endure or acquiesce simply because she was the Slayer or female.
She hadn't enjoyed such equality before, even from her boyfriends. Angel had treated her like a piece of precious china, making decisions for her, and Riley expected her to do what he told her and couldn't cope with a woman who stood up to him (or who was stronger than him).
When Spike had first professed his love for her she was offended, annoyed, grossed out and, frankly, she didn't believe him.
But now? Yes, now she believed him. She wanted to believe him, too. She wanted his love. She couldn't rationalize it but she felt it deeply.
Did that mean she was falling for the blonde vampire with the high cheekbones, chiselled good looks and lithe, fit body?
"Oh god," she groaned, pushing hers hands through her hair. Then she heard the noise of something approaching, and she fastened the handcuffs around her wrists.
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She heard them first. Glory's annoying, slightly nasal voice carried effortlessly across the still cemetery. "My Jimmy Choos are ruined! This better not be a wild goose chase or I'll make you sooo sorry vampire, you'll wish you were Murk."
"Oh thank you, your Delightful Wonderfulness, it would be such an honour to be a worthy example of excruciating punishment …."
"Shut up Murk!"
Then the strange entourage entered the clearing in front to the Espenson mausoleum to which Buffy was handcuffed. Glory, surrounded by her sackcloth minions, was sporting a gold satin cocktail dress, which, apart from being inappropriate for a night-time raid on a cemetery, appeared to be at least one size too small for her. Around Glory's neck Buffy could see the matching Kargip necklace bouncing above the deep cleavage that the dress accentuated.
Glory's matching sandals were muddied, and she swayed precariously as she picked her way between the soft earth above the burials and the strips of firmer ground surrounding them. Spike swaggered confidently alongside Glory and Buffy felt her pulse quicken at the sight of him.
"Well, hello little girl," the hell-god smarmed, "Good of you to wait for us. Oh, but wait. You couldn't leave if you wanted to." She laughed at her own joke.
"Told yer," Spike sounded triumphant, "Slayer and Key, as per our agreement!"
"I see the Slayer, bloodsucker, but I don't see the Key. It better be here or I am going to be so very, very angry, and you don't like me when I'm angry as I recall." Patience was not one of Glory's virtues, that is, assuming she had ANY virtues.
"Don't bleeding like you, period" Spike mumbled under his breathe. To Glory he said, "Key's in the tomb. Slayer was guarding it, like I told you."
Glory moved to peer inside the mausoleum and started to laugh, a cruel undertone stripping the sound of any levity.
"That's a child's cuddly toy, you foolish, frustrating, fanged thing."
"Yes," said Spike carefully in a patronising tone, "it's a large furry teddy bear which is why it's the Key. Had to be pure, didn' it?" Spike had remembered Glory's reason for dismissing him as the Key.
Glory looked intrigued. "So run this past me again, vampire. I do like a good laugh at the Slayer's expense."
"Like I told you, I couldn't tell you where the Key was before 'cause I didn't know. Slayer here was keeping tabs on me an' I couldn't snoop around. But I noticed she kept coming out here for some reason, so when I could I followed 'er and voila! The Key!"
"And tell me again why you are helping me now, when I seem to remember you went all petulant on me last time we met, Fang Face?" Glory batted her eyelids at him.
Spike rolled his eyes. "Look, luv, like I said, I'm a master vampire, I have my pride. I'm not supposed to be kidnapped and tortured, doesn't do my rep much good, know what I mean? And this bint," indicating Buffy, "is messing up my game good and proper so I want to mess with 'er."
"Why don't you just kill her 'master' vampire?" Glory asked mockingly.
"D'you ever sodding listen, you poorly-coiffed prat? Told you, I can't kill humans 'cause of the bloody chip those nancy boy soldiers put in my head. I wouldn't need you if I could've offed 'er meself, would I? I've had to bide my time. Make out how I was on the Slayer's side. Romance her a little to get her to drop 'er guard."
"Ewww." Glory grimaced, "Can't imagine anyone wanting to be romanced by you."
"Hey! Sod off, you trollop!" Spike looked hurt, "I'll have you know I persuaded this irritating, clingy little chit that I was in love with 'er. Things I had to do to convince 'er! I had to leave her mates alone, get all chummy with her annoying brat of a sister, make out I was upset when 'er mum died. I deserve an Oscar for that alone! Then I had to listen to her interminable bloody prattlin' about the burdens she 'as, an' how no-one love's 'er, and yadda, yadda, yawn!
"Jeez, can that girl moan! Pity there's not an Olympic sport in feeling sorry for yerself 'cause she'd bleeding win gold every time. But I let her cry on m'shoulder, cooked a couple of meals for her, let her stay at my gaff for a bit and I've got 'er convinced she's falling for me."
"Well, yes, I can believe that. She might well fall for a slime-ball like you as she doesn't strike me as someone with any taste."
"Oi, watch yer lip, or something WILL strike you, you evil baggage. Now, do you want this damn Key or not?"
"Duh!" Glory's hands were on her hips signalling her impatience.
"Our deal was, I believe, you kill the Slayer for me in return for the Key. You gonna hold to your end of the bargain, Delilah?"
"Jinx, bring me the Slayer!"
"NOW Buffy!" roared Spike.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming! Final epi soon! Stay tuned!