Many thanks to Purrr, who beta-read this chap, and props to everyone for participating in Strip Word Association (You Associate 'Em, We Strip 'Em!). The following prizes will be awarded:
First place to WhiteCamellia for innovation. Second to First Word Girl (henceforth FWG) for being the shortest and her prize is the locker room scene. Third to hnz786 for giving an idea so open to my own discretion (Lily and James sure will do whatever I want). And fourth is a tentative reminiscence on their date (modeltd09), because finishing it is just too damn awkward. THIS IS A DISCLAIMER WOO-OO those parts weren't exactly my idea. More with Dori and Sirius next chapter, kmk25… Malfoy.draco malfoy's word association was v amusing, and star dragon pixie's did not make sense. Sorry, I don't get the connection.
I also want to disclaim "Ha! Ha! Ha!" which I think is hysterical, and originated (as I know it) from The Growing Pains of Draco Malfoy, check it out on my favourites.
Um, that's it. Hopefully FWG won't be so DISAPPOINTED this time. Blegh to you.
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Chapter Nine: Divination
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"Here stands Severus Snape, on the night of his initiation to become one of the chosen servants to the Dark Lord, who call themselves Death Eaters in reverence to their cause. The Dark Mark has been branded on him, forever binding him soul to soul with his brothers and sisters in darkness. His blood he has pledged and his use to the Dark Lord shown, through courage and skill in battle. Henceforth he shall stand at the left hand of the Dark Lord, to have and to hold, from this day forward…"
The bored voice continued, but Snape was sprouting auburn hair and Lord Voldemort's features were melting into my (may I say more attractive) ones. I snapped awake, gasping for air, to see my friends standing around me.
"My God, I'm a Seer," I said, awestruck.
"Prongs, mate, you alright?" Padfoot said nervously. I ignored him.
"Snivellus is at a Death Eater meeting, and I'm going to marry Lily Evans."
"What did she do to you?" Padfoot asked, sounding horrified. Maybe he thought she had passed Seer tendencies on to me through her kisses. I'd never heard of that happening before. Hell, from what I knew Evans was failing Divination.
"That's it!" I exclaimed. I could tutor her in Divination! I could teach her to become one with the future!
"'What did she do?"
"Snogged me, of course, and whispered sweet nothings in my ear. And stroked my hair," I added as an afterthought.
"I told you that gel works magic," Peter said. Ha. My hair is as soft as a bearded alpaca without his stupid gel.
I leaped up. "I have to sign up for Divination. Oh, and fetch me the map, we're going to intercept Snivellus on his way back in."
"Um, Prongs," Padfoot said from my bed, where he was studying the map in question. "He's in his dorm."
"What? Let me see." I snatched it from him. "Of course," I breathed. "If I'm a Seer this hasn't happened yet."
"Not to throw cold water on any big ideas here," Remus said, "but you don't think it could have been a dream? And that's it?"
I wrinkled my nose. "Dreams are for girls. Come on, we might as well accomplish something. We're not going to get any sleep tonight anyway."
"Speak for yourself," Pete muttered.
"Come, children!" I clapped my hands. "Let's go interrogate Snape."
"Wouldn't it be more productive to, like, rig a couple of Filibuster's under his bed or something?"
"Good man. We'll do a five o'clock bucket-of-pumpkin juice wake-up call too, that should activate the fireworks."
Remus put up his hand. "Motion that you go snog Lily or something. I'm sleepy."
"You're always tired," I said. Peter was snoring melodically/determinedly/frantically, so I grabbed Padfoot and we left to have fun without them.
Giving Remus credit where it was due, however, I considered his motion while we worked and decided that it was a good one. When we got back to the dorms we went up the girls' staircase; Padfoot stayed with the seventh years and I went through to the Head Girl suite.
Evans had a really lovely room, shimmering in the moonlight and such. She herself lay under a soft duvet, her arm thrown across a pillow and her mouth hanging open. I crawled in next to her.
"Mmph," she said, opening her eyes a crack. "Potter? What are you doing here?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
She rolled over to look at her clock. "It's four in the morning, James. Go back to bed."
"I couldn't sleep." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck. "I was dreaming about our wedding, and then –"
"Whoa there, cowboy. Nobody's getting married."
Crud. I bet in all those Seer books there's something about keeping your mouth shut. "I know. It was just a dream. And then I missed you."
"It's been like five hours since you saw me."
"My point exactly."
"You sound like a sta-a-lker." She yawned widely. "I'm going back to sleep. Steal my blankets and I break your jaw."
I smiled at her. And then I lay awake until breakfast, on the morning of a very important Quidditch match.
Crud.
--
"I want a high-scoring game, so Chasers, keep it tight. And I want lots of Beater action. Don't forget what we've been practicing and we can't lose. We're solid and we're wi-" I yawned. "Winners."
"Way to prep us up," Padfoot said. "Hey, Dawson, keep on yawning, you're bound to catch the Snitch eventually!"
Everyone trooped out, laughing merrily. The stands were packed and screaming, the sun was shining, and Regulus Black was standing opposite me ready to break my hand.
"Looking good," I said when I reached him, glancing briefly to a blood-caked gash on his forehead. "Your boyfriend didn't catch you when you tripped?"
"Naw, didn't you see Snivellus this morning?" Padfoot put in from beside me. He was glaring at his brother, stance casual but tense. "Looks like the lovers had a tiff. What did you do, put firecrackers under his bed?"
"Oh, my," I said, cutting off Regulus' furious retort. "I should have been more sensitive." Hooch was closing in, so I held out my hand, smiling winningly.
"Ready?" Hooch said, kicking open the box at her feet and blowing the whistle. I nipped in front of Regulus and snatched the Quaffle from him. Padfoot and Longbottom, our third Chaser, boxed him in; he was the best flyer on their team, we didn't want him catching the wind I made as I passed him.
I dodged a Bludger and slammed the ball past the Keeper, ducking under the goalposts to catch it on the other side.
"10-zero to Gryffindor, and Potter's flying on form today, with a neat pass to Black, that's Sirius, not Regulus," the announcer boomed. "And it's Potter, Black, Potter, Longbottom, Black, Potter, and another score, 20-zero Gryffindor!"
Regulus grabbed the Quaffle from me with a snarl. "Clean it up, Nott!" he spat at the Keeper.
"He's not going to do it," I sang.
"Cannot save a thing," Padfoot shouted back, laughing as we circled his brother.
"'Tis black the horizon, Nott's not got those – augh!" I dodged a Bludger only to have another nail me from behind. I sailed off my broom, pulling out my wand as I fell. "Accio broom! Dawson, Snitch to your left!" I grabbed my Silver Arrow and swung myself on.
"Potter is back on his broom, nice bit of work from the Slytherin Beaters, and Dawson is after the Snitch, closely tailed by Black, that's Andromeda, look's like it's a family match this – ohh, was that a foul? Nope, a fair hit to the face for Potter, try and stop the bleeding there. Slytherin seems to be targetting Potter, not a bad strateg– ohh, that was cobbing. Dawson has elbowed Andromeda and it's a penalty shot for Slytherin, missed, Regulus has it and he's passing it to MacNair, Dobbs, and Regulus puts it through, 30-20 to Slyther – ohh, what's this? Sirius Black has crashed into his own teammate! What's he saying?"
"Stay the hell away from my cousin, Dawson!"
"In an unexpected fit of clannishness, Sirius is not happy about that attack on Andromeda. What's the verdict, Hooch?"
Sirius was in a furious argument with her; she seemed to be trying to get him off the pitch.
"Five minute penalty for Sirius Black, unnecessary attack on a teammate," the announcer said. "Not even sure that's a valid penalty, but I've never heard of this happening…"
I was already playing doubly hard to make up for Sirius, and the Beaters were still after me. I looped Regulus, thinking they might take him out by accident, but they backed off. I nudged against him.
"Quaffle, boy," I said, punching it through his arms, snatching it from below and steaming off. Dawson nearly rammed me as he dove after the Snitch; Andromeda, close behind, did. She grinned at me in passing. I looked around. "Longbottom, get on that Quaffle!"
He already had it and it was soaring at me when a Bludger hit it from the side. I switched to a dive, rolled to catch it and dodged Nott.
"Nott – Nott – not gonna stop me!" I sang, tossing the Quaffle over my head through each of the hoops. I dropped the ball to Longbottom.
"Dawson is trying that Wronski Feint again, it's getting old, buddy, and Andromeda is ignoring him – in fact – she seems to have seen it herself! They're after it and – 70-60 Gryffindor, nice shot there, MacNair – and Potter has the Quaffle, passing this time – whoops, interception as the Bludger's go for him again, Dobbs turns around and – back to Potter, very smooth recovery, he's looking to stop those Seekers, or else he's gone mad – Potter, the goalpost is that-a-way!"
"The goalpost is that-a-way!" the crowd screamed, pointing in different directions. I barelled on, cutting Andromeda off just as she reached for the Snitch and then doubling back. "Longbottom, Padfoot, positions!"
They dropped in below me, and I pitched it at Longbottom. He passed it to Padfoot, who dodged Regulus, who signalled for the Beaters. "Damn," I muttered. "Longbottom, take my place!"
He didn't question the change in tactic, accepting the hand-off from Padfoot as I flew under them. "Okay, Frankie, back at me and we'll try Plan Susan." That was Padfoot's really brilliant name for our rotating X formation. I didn't think it would work, not with MacNair getting in everybody's way.
"And the Gryffindor Chasers have given up on the Hawkshead Attack, the Beaters from both teams are closing in, this won't be pretty – it's Longbottom, Black, Potter, Black recovers as Potter has lost his broom for the third time today – fourth? – ohh, Black and Black are fighting over the Quaffle, fists to yourselves, boys. Gonna call it, Hooch? Oh, no point, the female Black has broken them up, followed by Dawson – that's the Snitch!"
A gasp from the crowd. I came up behind Padfoot just as he ducked his broom, leaving the Quaffle hovering for me. I grabbed it and lobbed it through the air.
"Nott is about to miss that Quaffle, nice curve there, it's gonna be 120-80 for Gryffindor in a – no! Andromeda has got the Snitch! Slytherin wins 230-120 as Black and Black get into a fistfight after all, Potter's in there too, dripping blood everywhere, I see, and – somebody get those bats away from the Beaters!"
"For shame!" Hooch was screaming, wrestling with whomever was nearest.
"-Defiled the family name –"
"You fucking Death Eater, get the –"
"Woo!" the Beaters from both sides shouted, leaping into the fray. I decided that there was enough going on, and went to drown myself in the showers.
--
I sat alone in the locker room, the rest of the team having been sent trudging up to the Hospital Wing. The door creaked open.
"Way to sneak out, Padfoot," I said, not looking up. I unstrapped my gloves and pulled my uniform over my head.
"Hey."
I looked up in surprise. "Evans."
"Good game."
I shrugged, unable to speak.
"You're still in the lead."
"I guess."
"That Andromeda's a good flyer," Evans said, walking over. I ignored her, trying to focus on changing and getting the hell away. "I was starting to get jealous."
"You don't fly," I said before I could stop myself.
"Way to state the blindingly obvious." She rested her cheek against my back and ran her hands down my sides.
"Let me put a shirt on, okay? And then we can go to Hogsmeade or something." I sighed in a depressed sort of way.
"Let's take my shirt off instead, and stay right here."
I turned around and stared. "What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing, yet." She waggled her eyebrows. "I have been allupato," she whispered, "thanks to your powerful influence on the male population."
More waggling. I sighed again. "How many people got expelled today?"
"None. Dumbledore understands perfectly, it was just a family brawl."
"How many games were lost?" I was determined to find something to whine about.
"None." She stood on tiptoe to kiss my nose. "It was a moral victory."
"Oh, thanks."
"No problem. Come on, hug." She stepped back and held out her arms. I moved forward. She stepped back. "Come and get it."
I sat down on the floor. "I have at least three cracked ribs, I don't even want a hug."
"Aw, Jamesie, I forgot." She crouched down in front of me. I lunged, overbalancing her and falling on top.
"Hug?" I said, grinning. I put my hand up her skirt just as McGonagall walked in.
"JAMES POTTER! DO YOU WANT ME TO TERMINATE YOUR ENTIRE TEAM? GET YOURSELVES BACK IN LINE, NOW!"
I jumped up.
"Oh, hello, Evans," McGonagall said in surprise. "Dumbledore's looking for you both."
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A/N: What on earth does Dumbledore want? Will he reprimand them? Expel them? Assign them a project to live in a hut in the woods and bear many children? Read on to find out!
No, I can't leave you hanging. A hint, a hint! He suspects them of… felony!
No, really.
… arson!
… unkindliness!
… good looks!
And in that last he is correct. Further disclaimers: there was 'a moral victory' swiped from Friends, a really lame innuendo from someone I know aaand… many, many others, no doubt. Wait, I found a new one. "Oh, thanks" is a nod to Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. If you recognize anything from your own fic, stop drop and roll!
Mini "Refresher" Glossary
Allupato - adj. (familiar) hungry for sex, especially after a long period of celibacy
With regards to Lily: this is a New Vote. Would Lily instigate anything? I think she's trying to cheer him up, but the winds cry "out of character!" So hit me up with your thoughts.