Feel

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It's probably wrong.

No, scratch that, it's definitely wrong – everything from the furtive glances they sneak at each other during class to the ardent kisses they share when no one else is there.

He isn't even completely sure what he's doing, because they both already agreed to go their separate ways, and he has Marina and she has Zeke now. They can't start dating again, because it just wouldn't work and they both know that. But they're still doing whatever it is that they're doing, and it's still wrong, and he still doesn't know why. Maybe it's because one never really forgets or gets over their first true love, and neither can deny that she was his first love and he hers. Or maybe it's an escape, though from what, he's not sure of either.

So they're there, in an empty classroom that will remain empty for the rest of lunch (as cliché as that is), and now that they've made their excuses and are face to face, he thinks he should probably say something.

He says hi, and she greets him back.

There aren't any formalities, because that would just be stupid at this point. They don't feel awkward, because this has been going on for way too long for either to feel even remotely uncomfortable. Instead of bothering with unnecessary banter, she steps forward and presses her lips to his (he wonders when she became so bold; he never really noticed when she changed) and he reciprocates, and it's the same swirl of passion and desperation and guilt as he pushes her against the whiteboard and kisses her more forcefully. When they went out she would be so shy when he would kiss her, but now she's different, and he's never sure if he actually likes the change or not. For now, he guesses it will work, and so he doesn't give it another thought, if only because he can't handle thinking about anything that will jeopardize what they have.

She pulls away swiftly, and he knows that this is the part where they talk (it's the only awkward part of their exchange) and pretend that they care about their respective significant others, when they obviously don't give a damn, because if they did, they wouldn't be here.

"You need to remind me why we're doing this," she says, but the accusation and remorse is absent from her tone, just like it's absent from the whole conversation.

He doesn't crack a grin as he reminds her, "We're doing this because you kissed me first."

"That almost sounds like an allegation," she says, a half smile gracing her face. "You shouldn't point fingers when you're just as guilty, should you?"

"I guess not, Gabriella." It's pretty hard to hide the grin now.

"We shouldn't be smiling about something like this."

"Hmm. I know."

"What are we doing, Troy?" she inquires softly, and for the first time since this whole escapade began, she sounds a little sad.

"I wish I could tell you," he murmurs, his expression caught in a vortex somewhere between regret and defense. And then the defensiveness vanishes entirely, "I really do."

Gabriella sighs, though she's not really angry. "I don't expect you to have all the answers. I just – I really don't know what we're doing, either. I suppose it was a rhetorical question."

"Can I ask you something, Gabriella? Are you really happy with Zeke?"

She gives him a look that is a combination of pain and annoyance. "Don't, Troy. Just don't."

"I don't mean it like that."

She knows it's probably true, so she relents a bit, "He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I think – if I were to give it a while – I could love him."

He nods, trying to pretend they're just in another musical, and she's just speaking some lines that Kelsi wrote. He tries (or maybe he kind of needs) to pretend that they're just characters in some musical that are going to end up together anyway. He wants a lot of things. He wants to pretend that she's still his and that it will work out eventually.

She wants to know if he's happy, too.

He shrugs. "I get along well with Marina. I just don't know if it's going to last."

Gabriella makes a little humming noise. "I know what you mean. I felt that way with Jason."

"You know, I think you've dated all my friends."

She laughs, "Hardly."

"All my best friends, then."

"Not Chad."

"No, not Chad," Troy agrees. "Who would have ever thought you'd be such a player?"

She glares a little bit, "Don't. It's not like that at all, and you know that." Her gaze softens, but she's still upset. "It doesn't matter, anyway. That's in the past. I'm happy now, I'm happy with Zeke. He's what I've needed all along."

Troy looks at her intently. "I'm sorry," he whispers, and she knows he means it. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you before, when you needed me…"

She shakes her head. "It's all in the past," she says again. "You're here for me now."

The mood lightens, and he finds himself kissing her again – until that familiar, dreaded sick feeling washes over him, reminding him of what he's done.

"Gabriella… we should stop now…"

It's what he says every time, when their time together is almost over. She doesn't want to let him go, and so she sings to him in her lovely voice, to make him stay.

"It feels so right to be here with you."

Author's Notes.

Once again, this turned out differently than I had initially planned… And I really can't think of anything to say. Well. That's a first.

Um. It's rated T simply because I don't want little children thinking cheating on your significant other is okay. Better safe than sorry!

I don't think I've written something like this before… it's a little bit different, a little bit mysterious, a little bit maddening, and really quite wrong, morally. …Which is why I need some of your advice! Maybe I shouldn't attempt Gabriella/Troy angst. (But it's so much fun!)

Review, per favore.

Disclaimer.

Hmm. If Disney ever used this…