Why are you back?

Disclaimer: I don't own the outsiders. My only character is Brigette.

This is just a warning but this chapter may be a little bit cheesy!

Chapter 12:

Ponyboy POV:

The next day Angie, Two-Bit, and Johnny came to see me at lunch hour, and Soda and Steve came to see me after work.

"hey Soda we should probably get going soon if we don't wanna be late." Steve said. I guessed that they had a double date or something.

"k, I'll be out in a sec, can you just wait outside?" Soda asked him.

"sure." Steve said as he left. "feel better kid."

"ya."

"look Ponyboy…" Soda started after Steve closed the door. "I know that whatever is keeping you from fully liking Brigette must be big, and hard to talk about but… you gotta tell Darry. I just don't want you to totally erase Darry out of you life cause of Brigette, and you and I both know that if you don't give him a good reason not to, he's going to marry Brigette." Soda said. I knew he was right, I just couldn't bring myself to say it out loud, I was pretty sure it sounded a lot more childish out loud and now that I was almost fifteen that was the last thing I wanted to be.

"ya, I know. It's just hard to say that's all." I told him.

"have you told Angie or Johnny?" Soda asked.

"no." I said.

"oh… well… I promise, no matter what it is Darry and I aren't going to make fun of ya, and if you don't want us to we won't tell anyone." He said.

"ya, I know."

"k, just making sure. See ya tomorrow. Darry said he'd stop by after work so he should be here soon." Soda said before starting to leave, but before he left he turned around to face me and asked… "she's not beating on you is she?"

"NO! it's nothing like that, well… at least not really." I told him, and he nodded and left.

I was thinking of how to tell Darry about Brigette when I drifted off to sleep. I had a dream about my mom and dad telling me that no matter who Darry married, no one would ever become my mom or dad. When I woke up I heard Darry talking to Brigette and they hadn't realized I was a awake so I closed my eyes and listened to see what they were talking about.

"Brig… he's my brother, and as much as I love you, I want to stay here more. He needs me right now." Darry said.

"but he's sleeping, come on. You'll be back in and hour or so and then you can talk to him. please?"

"no, come on this is important to me. Something is bugging him, and whatever it is, it's keeping him from liking you enough to feel comfortable with me marrying you." Darry said.

"fine, if you need me after your talk I'll be at my apartment. And Soda and Steve are taking the girls to a movie marathon at the nightly double tonight, so they won't be home for a while." She said before leaving. I didn't know exactly know what she meant by that but it made me feel sick to my stomach, and I had to fight the urge to cringed. I pretended to wake up from my sleep not too long after she left.

"hey Darry, how long have I been out?" I asked him.

"I don't know, I came a half and hour ago and you were already asleep when I came so." He told me.

"oh. So how was work?" I asked him, ignoring the dreaded truth for as long as possible.

"fine, it was pretty hot outside today though so it's wasn't perfect." He said.

"oh."

"did everyone come by today?" he asked.

"well Two-Bit, Johnny, and Angie came by at lunch and Soda and Steve came by after work, but they didn't stay for that long. Steve was chasing Soda out of here so they wouldn't be late for their dates." I told him.

"oh, good." It was silent for a while before Darry brought up Brigette.

" Brigette was here earlier, while you were sleeping. She said that it looked like you were having some sort of conversation in your dream." He said. "were you having a nightmare or something?"

"something like that." I told him. for me any dream about my parents was a nightmare, mainly because after I'd have one I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about my parents for days.

"anything I should know about?" Darry asked, obviously concerned.

"nope, just a normal nightmare that everyone gets once in a wile." I told him.

"oh…" it was quiet for a little while again and then Darry asked the dreaded question. "so what exactly is it that's keeping you from liking Brigette?" I felt my stomach drop, and I felt my breath coming in a little ragged. I'm sure it scared Darry, because it sure scared me quite a bit. I knew that this was a sensitive issue for me, but I didn't know it was this serious.

"it's nothing Dar, really." I tried.

"nice try, but I talked to Soda and he told me that the only reason you didn't tell us yesterday was because it's hard to talk about." Damn it! Why did I have to tell Soda? I thought.

"ya well like he said, it'd hard to say." I told him.

"well you're going to have to tell me sooner or later, and we both know that it'll be easier if it's sooner." Darry told me.

"ya, I guess. I just wish it didn't have to come out at all." I told him, maybe I was saying it to myself more than Darry.

"listen, Ponyboy. You know that whatever this is it's not going change how I care about you right? You'll always be my little brother, and nothing and no one can change that. Now come on just let it out."

I took a deep breath and blurted it out…

"she reminds me a lot of mom." The room went silent extremely fast and remained that way for a while.

"how do you mean?" Darry asked.

"I don't know, lots of ways I guess…like once she came over to the house and I was taking a nap after track practice and when I woke up she was sitting next to me stroking my hair the way mom would. And sometimes she'll come up to and start talking to me like I'm her son or something." I said.

"well have you ever tried talking to her about it?" Darry asked, and I gave him a look. He obviously recognized it cause his next words were… "sorry stupid question."

"I know it sounds stupid but I can't help the way it makes me feel." I told him.

"how does it make you feel?"

"like she's trying to become or replace mom." I said. I decided that since the big secret was out already, I might as well say the rest.

"Ponyboy you know that no one could ever do that."

"but she will become my guardian, and that gives her the power to act like she's my mother." I said looking at my hands which I was intertwining nervously in my lap.

"who told you that?" Darry asked, I looked at him and he continued. "I put Sodapop down as your second guardian as soon as he turned 18 (author's note: Sodapop is 20 in my story.)

"why didn't you tell me?" I asked him.

"we figured it wouldn't matter." He told me.

"oh."

"so?... do Brigette and I have your permission sir?" Darry asked with a very fake British accent. I had to laugh which caused very strong pains to shoot through my stomach.

"you ok?" Darry asked worried all of a sudden, not that I could blame him.

"ya I'll be fine. And yes you have my permission." I told him.

He stayed for another hour and we talked about all kinds of things, it was almost like Darry was trying to make up for what he'd missed during the past few months. He even got the reason why I quit track out of me, he told me that I wouldn't be able to smoke until I got back on the track team and that after I got on I'd be allowed to smoke only two to four cigs a day. It was hard to quit before, but I had been smoking more lately cause of my 'family problems' so it'd be almost impossible to now. But I knew I had to, track was my the easiest ticket for a scholarship, and if I was to go to college I'd need one.

Thanks for the reviews, chapter 13 will be up soon. In the mean time please R&R