Serena- I can just feel your glares of hate for my lack of updating….. Hehe? All I can say is the school sucks and I've become addicted to World of Warcraft, as have my brothers but they have to use MY computer to play it….. Oh well…. Just know that it is impossible to discontiue this story because it's already written!

Disclaimer- I own nothing except my Original Characters, but even then- they have a mind of their own.

A/N- If anyone wants to add me as a friend on myspace, just go to the homepage in my profile and then you can get my e-mail from my profile too. And please message me first, because I'd actually like to know who you are... On with the story!

Boundless

By: Serena

Chapter 18

Hurting

October 27th

The ground was splattered with blood-like leaves and the trees were becoming bare. I hated this time of year. There was once a time that I loved the clashing of the colors, but now they just brought unwanted memories. I tried often to banish such things, but they constantly resurfaced and the pain never subsided.

I was caught in a never ending cycle, with each year a new sense of abandonment came. I stayed up late at night, unable to fall into slumber and the times I could sleep, I woke up sobbing. There were bags under my eyes, and my days began to come together like one long, day with no end in sight.

I knew my friends were worried about me. I knew that I was hurting them, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything besides Sasuke and even then the caring was only for his return.

On the nights I couldn't sleep, I would simply think. I would think about my day and how intresting it had been and how happy it would have been had Sasuke been there. Then my thoughts would turn to Sasuke. I would have daydreams of him walking through my door and apologizing for all the pain his departure had caused me.

Most times I would run into his arms and let him hold me while my outer-shell slowly drifted away. Other times- mostly on anniversaries- I would shot senbons from my hari-shashu at him. He would fall to the ground and I would cackle, glad that he was suffering. And other times I would simply turn away from his and tell him to leave.

But somehow I knew that wasn't going to happen. Somehow I knew that he would never show up at my door and beg forgiveness. Somehow I knew he was gone and that even Naruto and Sakura could never get him back.

But then again, maybe they could. The Kazekage was safe and team Kakashi was heading out on a lead the next day. Sakura had come to tell me such. I could see that happiness in her eyes, the excitement of possibly seeing Sasuke again. And I wanted to rip out those eyes.

Why was she going to see him again? Why not me? I could get him back. Even if I had to drag him, bound and gagged all the way back to Konoha, I could get him back.

But no… Sakura got to go- the stupid, lovesick, little puppy will get to see her crush-y wush-y again. And what do I get to do? I get to stay home and bite my nails to the quick. What fucking joy.

I know, I shouldn't say things like that. I shouldn't be mean like that because Sakura had been my friend for so long and I loved her like a sister. The fact that I could say things like that- even if they were said silently- showed just how much I had changed.

"Hinata, am I a bad person?" The heiress seemed surprised by the question.

The main street was overly crowded and everyone was unhappy about the congestion. All sorts of fragrances were blowing in the breeze, and venders were shouting about various discounted products. The uproar of voices only added to the compacted setting.

The girl contemplated her answer very carefully. "Um… well… You are nice to me… And you are nice to other people… I guess that makes you a good person-" She was cut off as some guy bumped into her- nearly knocking her to the side.

"Hey! Watch where you're going! Damn runt…" The man had so much hair on his face, it was threatening to take over his head. A large belly protruded forward, his clothes had various stains on them, and he stunk of only god knows what. Small beady eyes looked at Hinata as though she was trash, before changing their direction to his right, eyeing something on one of the carts.

I felt my green eyes narrow and I felt the anger start to rage. How dare he? This slob thought he could just walk over one of my closest friends? This idiot thought he could do something so mean and then get away with it? No. I wouldn't let him.

"Hey! Imbecile!" I shouted, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. As he twirled to meet me, my fist met his cheek. I felt the cheek bone splinter, but that wasn't enough. I removed my left hand from his shoulder, and punched him directly in the nose. Pain shot through my hand, but I didn't care- the satisfaction that he was in more agony was enough to dull it.

The man fell to the ground and people jumped out of the way as his body hit to dirt floor with a sickening thud. And yet, that still wasn't enough. My leg twisted back and I kicked him in the gut. His body curled around to defend himself, but my foot still made contact with his stomach again and again.

"Please!" He screamed, until my foot my contact with his head. He gave a stranged cry before his head tilted to the side. "Please…" He whispered. I refused to give up. I kicked him again and again. I heard bone break and things shatter, but I didn't let up for a moment.

I heard people screaming- mostly Hinata- for me to stop, but I didn't care. This was the anger I had kept bottled up inside of me. This was the anger that had made me into this monster that kicked a defenseless man when he was down on the ground. This was the anger that drove me mad at night and ebbed only in the morning.

"RUI! STOP!" I felt myself be dragged away, but I didn't care. I thrashed even more violently trying to get to my prey. But Hinata refused to let go. Soon we rounded the corner and the man was out of my line of vision.

I felt myself slowly give in. It seemed Hinata felt it too, because she only dragged me a few more blocks until she stopped. I heard her sigh. "Rui, I'll let you go if you promise to not run away."

My heart was still racing. The blood, the anger was still coursing through my veins. Would I stay? Would I be a good little girl and not go back to kill the man? "Whatever." I heard myself say. She slowly let go of me and I stood up straight. After wiping some imaginary dust off my pants I smiled crookedly at her. "All better now!"

She didn't smile back at me. I frowned and tilted my head. "Whats wrong Hi-chan?" She bowed her head. "Hinata, whats wrong? If that man hurt you that much, I'll go back and beat him up even more." I smirked at the thought. "Come on, Hinata-"

She cut me off. "He didn't hurt me… You did Rui."

I was definatly caught off guard by that one. Me? When did I hurt her? I voiced my silent questions. "What do you mean? How did I hurt you?"

She lifted her head, and I saw something that made my heart drop. Twin waterfalls made their way down her cheeks. I took a step closer, and she took a step back, shying away from me. "You- you scare me… I miss the old Rui."

I reached a hand towards her, and once again she recoiled. I drew back and turned away. I heard her retreating footsteps and decided to make my way back home. I scared my best friend. I thought horrible things about my other best friend and I beat a defenseless man senseless because he was rude.

I reached my small apartment and threw my satchel across the room. I stomped to my bedroom and stood in front of my simple mirror. No, this was not right. This was not me. Where had I gone? Where has Rui gone? Where is she? Where is the nice, kind, girl that everyone likes and who likes everyone? Where did she go? Is she ever coming back?

I watched as the tears began in my eyes. No, this wasn't me. This was someone else entirely and I was beginning to not like this person. She was mean, and rude and randomly beat up people for the smallest of things. This was not who I wanted to be.

"The old Rui was better- this new Rui can do nothing." My voice was barely a whisper, the memory of the conversation still vivid. "Why, though?" I asked no one. "Why must I return to what I once was?"

Your defination of strong and weak are very different from anyone elses. You confuse strength with rudeness and weakness with shyness. Part of me drawled, This Rui is not strong- infact this Rui is very weak deep down inside.

"What do you mean?" I asked, still looking in the mirror.

I mean that soon inner strength will be needed to defeat your inner demons and this Rui- this pathetic Rui has no power to fight those inner mosters.