Ah, reviews. I've remembered how much of a whore I am for such things. beams I love you guys.

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Still owning jack crap. This is still bad.

Wait, I tell a lie. I do own some plushies. And a cat. And a dvd collection worth more than my car. At least I have my priorities straight.

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He stood, looking Inuyasha right in the eye. "Why didn't you ever tell me you have the most beautiful ass in the world?"

"WHAT?"

"WHAT?"

Miroku ignored Kagome's response. He glared at Inuyasha accusingly. "Here I've been wasting time groping girls. Why did you never tell me?"

Inuyasha's mouth worked soundlessly.

"If I'd realised your ass was so lovely! It's perfect! I never want to molest anyone else again! Only you!"

"B… but…"

"Yes! Your butt!"

"NO!" Finally, Inuyasha regained normal speech. "It's my butt, not yours! And I'm a guy! You can't molest me!"

"Watch me!" Shamelessly, the monk reached around Inuyasha to cup one firm cheek, and groaned happily. "Ok, you're a guy, but you still have the most perfect ass in the world. I mean it. Absolutely stunning. It's been right in front of me this whole time, and I can't believe it's taken me this long to see it."

"Let. Go."

Kagome's concerned voice intruded. "Um, Miroku. I think Inuyasha hit you a little too hard. You don't sound like yourself."

"No, I mean it!" He didn't relinquish his handful, looking away from the twitching demon to gaze earnestly at Kagome. "I'm myself, I've just had an epiphany. This ass…"

Inuyasha's patience ran out at this point, and his gut-punch knocked the wind out of Miroku.

Who still didn't let go.

"Dammit, get off me!" He looked at Kagome helplessly. "When you girls hit him, he stops straight away! With me he's like a leech!"

"Can you blame me, Inuyasha? I've found what I've been looking for all my life!"

Kagome sidled up, head tilted curiously. "Really the nicest?"

"Oh, yeah. Firm. Perky."

"Nicer than Sango's?"

Retrospectively, he really should have looked over his shoulder at this point. "Hmm… yes. I'd definitely say so."

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The hiraikotsu knocked him out cleanly.

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