A/N: Second to the last chapter and I must admit this is my favorite story of all the ones, I've written. I think I was
personally tickled that I was able to pull back and Addison/Derek reunion from the crap the writers have subjected
us to lately.

About the length in updating, have you ever finished up a story but started another one? That's what happened here,
I currently am writing another GA's story that I came up with one night in a dream, I know its scary but its true and I
forgot to keep you guys updated on the one that's already completed! So sorry, you'll see another story coming soon
though, fingers crossed! Thanks as always for your wonderful replies, they fuel me to write better!

Chapter 12

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I had gone through the rest of the weekend blissfully in Derek's arms. In between making love, we ate and searched for furniture for Dominic's bedroom. I couldn't remember feeling more complete and content or guilty and treacherous. I know that I had promised Alan that we would try another date but after spending the days in Derek's arms, I knew that it was a losing battle. The love I had for that man wasn't going anywhere and I had to accept it. I couldn't lead anyone on. I needed to be honest with Alan even if doing so would hurt me and him.

It was the following Monday that I was finally able to return to work. I had tossed and turned all Sunday night thinking about my new sexual relationship with the father of my child and my ex-husband and my platonic slowly blossoming relationship with Alan, a wonderful man. Alan was a wonderful man, who I knew that I didn't love who I knew that even if one day I did grow to love him, it would never be with the same intensity and fulfillment that I got from loving Derek. I woke up Monday morning determined to set things right in my romantic life.

As I was pondering over the state of that very notion, I was shocked when Derek came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me as he gazed at our reflection in the mirror. I smiled when he pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder and sighed as he kissed my cheek, "I love you Addison."

I didn't hesitate in replying, "I love you too Derek."

I watched in fascination in the mirror as Derek's eyes darkened with desire as he shook his head after glancing at the wall clock behind us and said, "We are going to be late if you keep looking at me like that."

I'm tempted to say I don't care but I know that it's an impossible dream, I was needed back at work, and Derek had already been paged three times since awakening this morning. I sighed as I asked him for help, "Derek, could you please help your extremely pregnant whatever I am zip up her dress and put on her jewelry so we can get to work at a reasonable time?"

Derek stopped as he turned around and looked at me in shock and shook his head in disbelief at my words as he stepped forward and reached for the zipper at the bottom of my dress. I was about to start tapping my foot impatiently when I notice that Derek hand was hovering over the zipper. I met his eyes in the mirror as he said, "Wife. I want you to be my wife again Addison. I know I said I wouldn't push you for the words or the commitment but I want you to know that I'm more determined now than ever that you will be my wife and my family again."

I feel the tears swell in my eyes but I struggle to not let them fall at the assertion in his voice. I nod as I reach for my purse and coat. After struggling with both for about five minutes, I successfully pulled the coat onto my shoulders and stopped in the living room where Derek was waiting patiently at the door. He held out his hand to me and I stare at it for a moment as I pondered what realization I had come to, this was the man that I wanted. No more lies, no more games just honest love.

I stepped forward and grasped his hand with all of my might as we headed off to work together, as a family.

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As we stepped into Seattle Grace, hand in hand I was assured of my decision to break things off with Alan. I loved Derek; it was as plain as mud. I knew that the road back to each other wouldn't be easy and that there were still a lot of issues that we needed to discuss, but the most basic of all those issues was already handled, love. We loved each other and we would work together to make our family work.

I faltered slightly in my decision when I saw Meredith Grey walking past us with a evil glare but I was reassured when Derek squeezed my hand as we walked past ignoring her presence altogether.

He heard a buzz as he checked his pager and shook his head, "I wanted to walk you to your floor but that's one of my patients…Why don't we get together for lunch?"

I shook my head, knowing I needed to find Alan and come clean before I hurt him anymore than I should and said, "I'll see you at dinner, how does that sound?"

Derek stopped as he looked at me and asked questioningly, "Addie?"

I knew he was concerned that I was backing out of the relationship that we had forged over the weekend so I decided to put his mind at ease. I knew I was boldly making a step towards our reconciliation but I knew that it was necessary, "I want to talk to Alan and tell him that while we have been having a great time that I'm still in love with my ex-husband and I want to be his wife again."

I watched as Derek's eyes filled to the brim with tears as he pulled me into his arms or what was left of me into his arms and kissed me passionately in the middle of Seattle Grace's hallway, "Thank you Addison. Even after everything, you didn't have to give me this chance but you did and I'm so happy and grateful. I promise, I won't let you down. I love you and I'm in this forever."

I nodded believing in his words as I now allowed myself to believe in his love as I pressed another kiss against his lips and said, "I know you won't Derek. We know what's at stake this time, our family. All of our family."

I reached for his hands and placed them over my belly as Dominic kicked against Derek's hand in agreement with my statement.

I watched as Derek's eyes flickered with happiness and desire as he leaned forward to press another kiss against my lips when his pager went off again. He sighed and I knew he wanted to spend more time with me assuring me of his happiness with my decision but we were at work and were needed so I said, "Don't worry about it; we'll have plenty of time later."

Derek smiled as he pulled back and said, "Keep talking like that and you will guarantee that Dominic won't be an only child."

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I had decided in my mind to push off actually telling Alan until we went out to lunch or dinner but I was unlucky on that count as I was greeted by Alan when I entered Seattle Grace's neonatal ward. He pressed a dozen, pink roses in my hand and brushed a light kiss over my lips. I still didn't feel anything and I felt firm in my decision to tell Alan the truth. I needed to be honest.

I smiled up at him and spoke, "How have you been Alan? I got your messages this weekend, but I was tied up."

He nodded at me understandingly and I felt even worse, "Addison, what do you say we have lunch? Would that work for you?"

I shrugged, "Sure, why not? That would be great; I'll meet you at the cafeteria at noon give or take fifteen minutes. These days I always ask for a fifteen minute courtesy window of time so that I'm able to get to my destination in a timely manner."

He laughs at what appears to be a joke of mine. If he only knew that it was something that I firmly believed in, pregnant women should have a courtesy window of no less than fifteen minutes to arrive at any destination since they were traveling with two people. "Noon, it is Addison. I look forward to our lunch."

I nod and wish I could respond in kind but I know that what I'm about to say at lunch will leave us on bad terms which I hope we can ratify over time.

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When lunchtime came, I realized I wasn't prepared. Not for lunch or the fact that I was about to break the heart of a man that I had come to care about. I walked into the cafeteria and spotted him sitting at a table I guess he had reserved for us. I knew that I was firm in my decision because I was going to trust Derek and I was going to believe in the family that we were going to create together and in order to do that, I had to let go of the relationship with Alan otherwise ours was never going to work.

I walked up to the table and cleared my throat softly, "You should feel fortunate Dr. Coldstone, I'm only five minutes late."

He stands up and presses a kiss to my cheek as he holds out the chair for me and I sit down and say, "So what are we eating?" He pulls a bag out of the seat next to me and I smile in wonder, "What did you do?"

He blushes as he opens the paper sack and pulls out the containers and hands me one. I open my and smile in glee, "You got me my favorite. Where did you find this turkey and Swiss sandwich?"

He rolls his eyes as he opens his own meatball sandwich and says, " Addison is it really important? Just know that it comes highly recommended from some of the doctors on this staff and has been featured in the Seattle Times three years in a row for best sandwiches."

I smile in gratitude and pick up my sandwich and bite down and start to moan in delight. I stop when I realize that I've suddenly become the focus of the table next to us and I put down the sandwich as I feel a blush come over my face, "I'm sorry Alan. I've been having a taste for a sandwich this good for months. You've satisfied my appetite."

He stretches his hand to me from across the table and says, "I want to satisfy more than just your appetite for food Addison. I want to be someone in your life and that of Dominic's if you let me."

I feel my stomach drop out as I say, "Alan, we need to talk."

I look at the disappointed glance and know instantly that I'm about to hurt him with my words that crosses your face, "I get it. It's not you, it's me speech right?"

I shake my head as I feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, "Alan, I would give anything in this world to not be hurting you but the truth of the matter is, I never stopped loving Derek. I don't think I know how and over the weekend I realized I didn't want to learn how. I liked being in love with Derek and I wanted to stay that way for the rest of my life, I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

Alan sighs as he puts down his sandwich and squeezes my hand from across the table and says, "I know you don't mean to hurt me Addison and to tell you the truth I'm just happy I've had this long. I knew that when you told me that you still loved Derek it was a feeling that you weren't going to be able to forget, he's an important person in your life, he's the father of your child and he's been your partner for the majority of your life. It's not something you can forget overnight and I see that you don't want to."

I feel the tears start to spill from my cheeks as he speaks. I hate how understanding he's being and forgiving, "I'm so sorry Alan."

He hands me a tissue and says, "I know Addison. I don't hold it against you; you were honest with me from the start. Let's stop all the crying and focus on the fact that if nothing else, I have gained a good friend here at Seattle Grace."

I dab at the tears and nod enthusiastically, "Of course you have a friend here. You will always have a friend in me, Alan."
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I felt better after the talk with Alan and ensuring that we would remain friends. I had stayed behind to finish up my sandwich when he received a page. I had just started to put all my items in the trash when I saw Derek leaning against the wall outside the cafeteria, I started towards him with a grin, but I saw Meredith coming his way and felt my heart fall out of my stomach when she greeted him with a full lipped kiss.

I couldn't stop the gasp of pain that escaped from my mouth. I saw Derek jerk back, and I don't recognize if it's in shock or anger but I can't focus on that now. All I can hear is the sound of my heart breaking as I reach for the wall to try to escape the image that was embedded in my brain.

"Addison. Addison! Addison."

Was that my name? Is that what he was saying? That I should respond? I couldn't feel, my heart was too hurt for me to acknowledge anything other than its own pain. I rubbed my hand over my stomach as I stumbled away from the cafeteria. I felt his arms come around my shoulders as he starts to speak, "Addison, we have to talk, it's not what you think. Addison."

My eyes are spewing out tears and I can't focus on anything other than the pain in my heart. I can't focus on anything as I jerked out of his arms and spat out my anger, "Don't touch me Derek. How could you? How could you do this to me?"

I turn to Meredith who's leaning against the wall with a smile of satisfaction that I refuse to acknowledge, I looked back at Derek and said, "I can't…I," I want to speak and tell him that I can't do this anymore, that I can't hurt like this anymore but the words won't come out. All I have in me to say is, "How could you do this to me Derek?"

I feel the back of the wall support as my legs can no longer hold up my weight as I feel myself go limp and I start sliding down the wall. Derek is by my side instantly as he tries to prop me up, "Addison, she kissed me. I didn't expect it, I didn't want it, I don't want the kiss or her, please Addison."

I'm too lost in my own pain to even process the words, if I had I would've heard how much he loved me. Enough to proclaim to the whole cafeteria that Meredith Grey was nothing more than a memory, that the love that you and I shared was greater than any you had ever felt. My last conscious thought was that it hurt too much to breathe and I wanted to stop breathing because it hurt too much.

So this was the next to the last chapter and you might wonder what the heck I'm doing, don't worry our beloved couple will be together in
the end. Thoughts please!