A/N: Sniff, sniff. Last chapter but I wrote an epilogue because I wanted some happy Addek to end on so let me know your thoughts on this chapter. I also want to thank you guys for the amazing replies, I've received on this story. There's something so upbuilding about knowing people actually enjoy reading/replying to your rambles no matter what they may be. Also, this is the last chapter but an epilogue is coming but you'll have to wait as I'm off to a wedding where I'll be a 'bridesmaid' joy right? Wrong, I'm completely nervous so I might need a couple of weeks to recover, so be patient while I review the epilogue! Thanks:)

Chapter 13

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When I came to, I jerked up in shock but realize that I'm too weak to move and that I have an IV taped to my arm. I close my eyes as a new set of tears spring out and I look down and notice that my belly which had been considerably prominent earlier in the day was now gone. Dominic! Where was my son? I felt myself start to scream for assistance and was shocked when Miranda came rushing in with Izzie on her heels.

Miranda was the first to reach my side and she put a calming hand on my shoulder as she laid me back on the bed and spoke quietly, "Calm down Addison. Everything's fine, you went into early labor from what you witnessed at the cafeteria, Dominic is resting fine. He was 5lb 6oz and scored a solid 7 on the APG charts." I'm grateful that Miranda is speaking to me in doctor's terms because I felt the breathe release from my body as I exhale in relief. At least my son was okay and from the stats that Miranda had given he was going to remain that way.

I look up at Miranda and said, "What happened? Was there any complications from the surgery?"

Miranda shook her head, "With the exception that I was peacefully enjoying my Chicken Caesar salad when I received a page from Richard stating that you were being rushed into emergency surgery. Don't ever scare me like that Addison, you took ten years off everyone's life here. Not to mention that ex-husband of yours, I thought I was going to have to sedate him. He was so worried about you."

I notice Izzie fidgeting by her side and I know that she must know. I didn't want to see the look of pity in her eyes and I said, "It's okay, I saw. How long have they been back together?"

Miranda looks at me in confusion and said, "What the hell are you talking about Montgomery?"

Izzie cleared her throat and said, "Addison, Derek had to be restrained by Mark and Richard. Meredith was trying to be vindictive because she had a fight with her boyfriend and she wanted to lash out, Derek didn't know what was happening. I can't believe I'm sticking up for him but he's innocent Addison."

I close my eyes as the tears roll down my cheeks and I shake my head. I can't focus on her words, the only thing I can focus on is that fact my son was finally here and I hadn't seen him yet.

Miranda must've been reading my mind because she pressed the button by my bed and said, "Would you please bring in baby Shepherd to room 314 please?"

I smile at her in gratitude and she says, "Derek's outside, I'll try to stall him so you can have a moment with Dominic."

I can't speak for fear that I'll launch into another set of tears as I nod in appreciation. Izzie squeezes my hand as she and Miranda exit and my son is brought to my side.
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I was in love for the second time in my life. It was a different kind of love though. When I had fallen in love with Derek, it was an immature love that had grown over the years and became a love that consumed my being with love for the man that I wanted to share my life. As I stared into Dominic's eyes I fell in love all over again but in a mother love, a love that I knew would allow me to sacrifice whatever I had to ensure that my child was taken care of, even if that meant sacrificing my pride. Dominic was my reason for being.

I heard the door open but I was too entranced in the bundle of joy that was in my arms that I didn't pay much attention to what was going on around me. I counted all of his fingers and toes and beamed when I looked up at the visitor who entered my room. My smile faltered slightly when I realized that it was Derek.

He closed the door behind him and walked over to the side of the bed and peered into my arms at his son. He pressed a gentle kiss to his fingers and turned to me, "Miranda just told me that before they brought him in he scored a nine on the APG scale."

I felt a sigh of relief escape my lips as I grinned and met your eyes with a proud smile of my own, "Isn't he gorgeous Derek?"

Derek nodded in agreement as we both stared at the bundle of joy that had been created one night nine months ago when Derek thought he had lost his world and I was just rediscovering mine. I looked at his creamy, ivory skin and his hazel eyes and hair and pronounced that I had never seen a cuter baby, "You know Shepherd our genes together make some pretty babies."

I was trying to be on a light note with my words as I was still wary of your feelings after the debacle of this morning which now seemed years ago. I was so focused on not meeting his face that I didn't notice when he lifted my chin and looked into my eyes, "Thank you Addison. I love you and Domi so much, I'm just happy that you're okay."

I nod as I notice that Dominic has awakened and decided to make his need for nourishment known. I look to Derek for assistance as the door opens and Miranda enters and I ask, "Am I allowed to breastfeed Dominic or do I need to wait?"

She scowled at me, "You're the neonatal specialist you tell me." I roll my eyes and then ask Derek for help in nursing our son.

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It had been two weeks, three days and six hours since I saw Meredith kiss my ex-husband and brought on the birth of my son Dominic and during all that time, I had successfully avoided having a conversation with Derek on the subject. I had smiled and allowed people to fuss over me, including Derek, Richard, Callie, Miranda and Izzie all who had come to gush over the cuteness of my son and inquire about my health. Miranda and Callie had tag-teamed me about Derek and I was forced to admit that I was avoiding the conversation.

Flashback - Earlier that Day

"Addison, what do you think your doing?" I looked up at my two friends in question as I closed my shirt and handed Callie Domi to burp. I shrug my shoulders and ask, "What are you talking about Miranda? I just fed my son and now I'm letting his Aunt Callie burp him."

Miranda scowled at me and swiped at my arm, "You know that isn't what I meant. What I want to know is why you are avoiding talking with Derek about what happened at the hospital with Meredith?"

I looked at my friend in disbelief, "Does the whole hospital know how Derek cheated on me at nine months of pregnancy?"

Miranda scowled and turned to Callie, "You talk to her, I'm through." Callie walked over to the edge of the bed and stared me in the eyes, "Addison, Derek has been asking for Meredith's head ever since you were admitted into the hospital. Richard has had to restrain him from slapping her on numerous occasions. That you're not talking to Derek seems to piss him off more so the whole hospital is up in arms, they are worried that one day of these he's going to snap. You have to talk to him; the hospital is becoming unbearable even for the Nazi."

Miranda leaned over, "That's saying something because as you know Seattle Grace is my hospital and anything I don't want happening won't on my watch but I can't stand in the way of that tortured man who only wants to be by your side."

I feel the tears starting to come to my eyes as I speak, "I was so hurt when I saw that kiss Miranda. It felt like someone had gone in and took out my heart and cut it in two again, I don't know that I've ever felt pain that deep. It was so wrenching that if the wall hadn't been behind me, I don't think I would've been able to stand. My brain knows that you are telling the truth and that Derek didn't initiate the kiss but my heart knows that I gave it to him again only for him to break it once more. I don't know if I can handle that uncertainty again because even if she wasn't corresponded I know that there's a place in Derek's heart that's only Meredith and each time I see them together I will wonder, is this it? Will this be the time that he chooses to leave me for her? I can't stop these thoughts and just when I had put them out of my mind and decided to focus on the love that I had for Derek, this happens and now all I want to focus on is making a good home for Domi."

Callie cleared her throat and said, "Dominic will have a good home whether it's with his parents together or apart because he's a loved child. His mother won't survive if she doesn't own up to her feelings and admit that she's scared. Don't you think Derek is as scared as you are?"

End of Flashback

They had certainly given me something to chew on and I didn't know how I was going to handle what they told me. I had felt vindicated in not speaking with Derek about what happened because then it wouldn't make it real but was I just kidding myself? I eased out of bed when I heard Dominic's cry. I shuffle gently into the living room to see Derek on the couch with our son cradled in his arms trying to calm him down.

I clear my throat as I walk over to the couch and sit down next ot him and say, "I think what Domi needs, you can't provide."

Derek meets my statement with a flash of his smile as he hands over our son and I prepare to nurse. He clears his throat and says, "I see you had guests. Was it Callie and Miranda?"

I nod as Domi latches onto my nipple and starts nursing, "They brought some more gifts for Domi. I swear, Derek he's going to be the most spoiled baby in Seattle."

He smiles and leans forward, "Addison, when are we going to talk about this? I've been holding in all of these feelings for weeks and I didn't want to push you because I know that you've been through a lot but so have I. I was terrified that I was going to lose both of you, I need to discuss what happened."

I nod as I lean back against the cushion of the couch and say, "Okay Derek, let's talk."
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I had just finished putting Dominic to sleep when I walked back into the living room and I sit down on the couch next to Derek and stare at him expectantly.

He sighs as he leans forward, "Don't look like you're about to have a closed book pop quiz. It's not that scary."

I shake my head and nod, "I know your right but I can't help this irrational fear of what you're about to say."

I lean back as his arm comes around my shoulders and he pulls me into his arms. I sigh as I lay against his chest, I had missed sleeping there. Ever since I had been released from the hospital, he had taken the guest room or slept on the floor in my room acknowledging that I still needed my space. "First of all Addison thank you."

I stop my contemplating and look up and meet his eyes, which he reaffirms with a kiss on the forehead and reiteration of his words, "Thank you Addison. Thank you for loving me, thank you for trusting me, thank you for being. I don't know how I could've gotten through that first night when I thought Meredith had died if it wasn't for you. You were this beacon of light in my life when I thought my life had suddenly become cloaked in darkness. I also want to thank you for allowing me time to get over the stupid, immature and hurtful obsession I had over Meredith Grey. I know now, that what I feel for her, doesn't even tip the scale on what I feel for you. There's a sense of completeness that I feel by your side that I need and that is with or without Dominic in our lives. What Meredith did the day Dominic was born doesn't have words, I've never hated a person more and I still shudder to think that at one time, I thought she could be a replacement in my life for you."

I feel the tears fall down my cheeks at the sincerity and passion in his words, I start swiping my tears and say, "Derek, I…" I want to acknowledge his effort with a reaffirmation of my own but the hormones are still against me and that's okay because he squeezes me to him and says, "Let me talk for once Addison, it feels like you've been the only one fighting in this relationship. I understand if you don't want to open up your heart to me again and I understand if you want to wait until you are sure that I'm with you all the way and I can wait because I know you're worth it. When I thought that she was dead I thought the love I had been living for was lost but then you came and saved me once again and then I found the love that I had been denying was there all along, the love I had with you. The kind of love, that I didn't have to looking for because it had always been right in front of me. I don't deserve it, I'm not sure I'm even worthy but I want it and I'm selfish, I don't want anyone else to have a chance to claim it."

I can't stop the sobs that are now shaking my body as I listen to his words. I pull down his face to mine as I latch my lips onto his, "I love you Derek Shepherd, and I want everything with you. I will always want everything with you. You and Domi are my family, the only family that I'll ever need. Please don't forget that."

I feel his tears start to hit my face as I lay against his chest again and sigh in relief, Derek was back. The Derek that I fell in love that I had always imagined was lost to me forever had been found, and best of all he had been found with me again and I couldn't be happier.

End

Don't fret, our happy couple will be back in a couple of days with a Epilogue. Check your mailboxes soon!