A/n: alrightly then. this chapter is completely unedited because i'm really busy at the moment and i won't be able to update tomorrow and probably not Wednesday either. so yeah sorry about that.

i don't have good authors notes anymore. this sucks. oh! the new Anberlin CD comes out tomorrow. you guys totally have to buy it, its amazing. anyways, thanks for the reviews. you guys are awesome.

"Watch her go, watch her go, watch her go, She'll have to cut it away to save her life. And she knows, see she knows, It's like a fatal disease…" – Breathless, Acceptance.

Forks made national headlines the next day. People from The New York Times and CNN and anything you could think of were flocking into the little town like bears to honey.

I had stayed with Charlie until he cried himself to sleep in my bedroom that night. I didn't see him after that. I couldn't stand to feel his pain. I just couldn't handle it, knowing I was the cause.

I decided I might as well stay with Edward and his family, they seemed entertaining enough. I was amazed at how easy it was to find their house in the middle of the woods. I got there just as everyone was starting to pack up.

I didn't know exactly where Edward's room was located, so I decided to just check every one. I slowly made my way up the stairs – I still wasn't used to not being clumsy – and came to Alice and Jasper's room first.

"Honey, it'll be okay," Jasper whispered and held Alice close.

She looked to be crying, but there were no tears in her eyes. "If I had gotten there sooner," she sniffled. "I could have stopped him. I could have prevented this."

How could she have known this would happen? I was confused. Wasn't Alice in a classroom halfway across campus when Edward killed me? It's not like she could see the future or anything.

Jasper sighed. "Alice, you can't blame this on you. You said so yourself that Edward was changing his mind every few seconds. You're visions were coming so rapidly. You couldn't have known what his choice was until the last minute."

Okay, so maybe she could see the future. That was interesting.

"But I could have stopped him," she sputtered. "I had enough time to do it."

Alice needed to stop blaming herself. This wasn't her fault. I wanted to tell her, but I knew she wouldn't hear. It was impossible. I groaned in frustration. This whole being dead thing wasn't working out for me so far. It had some advantages, but they were very few in comparison to the drawbacks.

One plus: I could feel everything that Jasper was feeling at that moment. There were too many emotions in him for them to just be his. He had to be an empath of some kind. It wouldn't surprise me since Alice seemed to be a clairvoyant who knew that Edward was going to kill me.

I decided it was time to stop eavesdropping on this conversation and go back to looking for Edward. I went into the next bedroom.

"…That selfish bastard!" Rosalie roared, throwing a book across the room for Emmett to catch. "He knew what the consequences of this would be. He knew we would have to leave."

"Rose," Emmett said softly, placing the book in its box. "It was an accident."

"Accident my ass!" She seethed. "He did this on purpose!"

Emmett shook his head and his eyes grew dark. "Don't you dare start blaming him for this. You've made mistakes before and he's forgiven you. The least you could do is extend him the same courtesy."

"I never slaughtered an entire high school science class! And don't tell me that that doesn't matter. Because it does, Em. It does. You can't possibly tell me that you're not sad that we're leaving. I know how much you loved it here."

"Rose, how many times have we had to relocate because I slipped up?" Emmett asked, his eyebrows raised.

Rosalie didn't answer. I guessed that Emmett had slipped a few more times than Edward had.

"Don't be so hard on him. He's doing that enough for all of us," he continued. Rosalie just nodded and slipped into a hug with Emmett.

"I love you," she whispered.

He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too."

…Okay, moving on. I walked down the hall to the next door and went inside.

"He's being too hard on himself. If he was human he'd give himself an ulcer," a woman said, shaking her head and placing a pile of clothes in a box on the bed.

"You know that's just his character, Esme," Carlisle replied from the other side of the room.

The woman – Esme – sighed. "I hate to see him like this, though. It just kills me that he's in pain and I can't stop it."

"The only thing we can do now is support him and hope he gets through this."

"He shouldn't be torturing himself so much. This isn't right."

"I know, honey. But it's not something we can do much about," Carlisle sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know Edward. He'll come around in due time."

"I hope you're right…"

I sighed and shook my head. Edward was really taking this harder than I thought he would.

Actually, I never really thought about it. I just never expected that a blood thirsty vampire would hold much remorse for killing humans. Isn't that what they did when they needed to eat?

I left the room, still confused about why the hell Edward was so down and out about killing me. I finally came to the third floor of the house and just decided that I might as well try the last door at the end of the hall.

Sure enough, it was Edward's room.

I was kind of glad that no one could see me. It allowed me to take in my surroundings for a longer amount of time without being interrupted and looked at like I was some kind of freak.

Edward's room was nothing like that of his siblings. It reminded me of a music studio, with the thick golden colored carpet and heavy fabric hanging from the walls. I knew them to be for acoustics, which made sense, considering the massive sound system that lay in one of the corners. One entire wall was glass, and it looked out over a river that I was not yet familiar with.

Edward laid, still as a statue, on the only furniture in the room, a large black leather couch. His eyes were closed, and I would have thought him to be sleeping, but from what I had gathered, I was pretty certain that if a vampire couldn't cry, they couldn't sleep either. Even with his eyes shut I could see the guilt written all over his face. I had caused this and for some reason it made me feel guilty. If I hadn't been in that classroom none of this would have happened.

I couldn't understand why, but as much as I wanted to hate Edward for what he did to me, I couldn't. If anything, he just intrigued me more. I wanted to know everything about this strange creature that was in front of me. I wanted to learn his secrets, his fears, his hopes and dreams.

But still, as much as I wanted to – longed to – I couldn't. He couldn't hear me, feel my presence. I couldn't talk to him and he certainly couldn't talk to me. I was at a loss. All I could do was sit back and observe.

So that's what I did. I sat on the floor in front of the couch and watched until sunrise when he finally stirred from his pseudo-slumber. And even after I saw his blood red eyes, I wasn't scared of him at all. I was just as curious as before.