A/n: so i was editing this chapter, and i realized it was a lot more depressing than i wanted it to be. but whatever, because next chapter is going to be happy. trust me, i already wrote it. XD.

i'm still getting so many questions that go a little like this: "is anyone ever going to be able to see Bella? Oh they have to!!"

the answer people, is BE PATIENT. i'm just getting things established. the plot officially begins next chapter, so just be patient, kay? thanks.

"You should be downstairs with them; you're wasting your time again; listen I'm fine now I don't want to talk right now. Thank you for your concern…" – Wanderer's Guild, Armor For Sleep.

It took six months, but he finally spoke again. I wanted to cry, I was so happy. Edward was finally getting better. He would only talk to one person, though, and that person happened to be Alice.

I didn't mind, of course, why would I? This was a land mark occasion. He was talking, forming coherent sentences with his mouth. This was good, very, very, good.

At first they didn't even talk. But I assumed that Alice had had a vision of something happening because she started hanging around Edward's room more often. I guessed that at first, he was reading her mind more than anything. They would sit in silence, watching the world from the single window in the room.

But when he finally said something, even if it was slightly trivial, it was still something.

So that's what it started with: pleasant conversation. Edward started asking how everyone was and Alice answered with short, to the point answers. They talked about the weather, current issues in the world. Anything that didn't have to do with Forks or me, I guessed.

The talking evolved, though. Soon Edward was sitting on his couch with his face buried in Alice's shoulder and he was confessing everything.

It was one of those situations where you know it's awkward to be listening but you're just so curious that you can't help it. You just have to know.

So I sat there, on the floor in front of the couch, and listened as Edward told Alice every minute detail of the day he killed me. As weird and demented as this may sound, I was actually more relieved than anything else. It was almost comforting to be able to see the situation from his point of view. To know how much it pained him to be talking about it.

Edward wanted, more than anything, to be able to control himself. He kept saying that I didn't deserve what happened to me. And I guess I did deserve something better than that, but you can't exactly change the past, and honestly I didn't want to. Now that he was opening, I could learn more about him, study him almost. I was now getting a chance to know the Edward Cullen that I couldn't possibly have known had I survived.

By the time that Edward was finished talking, he was sobbing into his sister's shoulder and she was gently rocking him back and forth. And that's when Alice started blaming herself again.

"I kept seeing you," she whispered. "I kept seeing your decisions. They were all different. First you wanted to kill her right then and there, no matter the consequences. And then you were opting for a more secluded place. But then your conscience kicked in, and you thought you could resist her. I remember almost being able to read your mind. You kept telling yourself that it was only one hour, you could last at least that long. But then she moved and you couldn't take it anymore."

Edward lifted his head and stared straight into Alice's eyes. He seemed confused.

"I knew you were going to do it," she clarified, shaking her head. "I knew it and I couldn't stop it. If I had gotten there, if I were a second earlier I could have stopped you."

He shook his head. "No, you couldn't have. There was no way in hell you could have stopped me and you know it. So stop blaming yourself."

"But…" she sniffled.

"No," he said, adamant. "It was my choice, my actions. I have to deal with consequences."

This conversation was seriously starting to kill my mood. As much as I wanted to stay and watch this sibling bonding, I couldn't stand it. I learned as much about what was going on in Edward's head as I wanted to know for the day. I needed to reflect.

Days and weeks passed before Edward would talk to anyone else. Alice would assure the family that everything was going to be okay, and they believed her. They had no reason not to. But even she was wary about the words that were coming out of her mouth; she didn't know if they were really based on truth.

Slowly but surely Edward finally emerged from his room. He didn't engage in any activities, but he sat in the living room and played the grand piano that was shoved in the far corner. I would sit beside him and watch his hands glide effortlessly across the keys. He never played anything happy, only sad, melancholy tunes that made me depressed. But I continued to sit next to him and listen. In some weird sort of way, I felt obligated to do so.

That was the moment that I wished beyond anything that I could talk to him. I thought that maybe if I could just speak with him, maybe he would get the picture that I was okay now and he would get better. Maybe if I told him that I didn't blame him for any of this, then he would move on. I needed to tell him that if I was alright, he should be alright too.

Maybe I was being too much of an optimist in this situation. Maybe I was being completely irrational to think that I could make a difference. I mean who I was to think that I could make Edward better? I was dead, he couldn't hear me, he could see me. There was nothing in my power that I could do to.

I was starting to feel a little helpless, to say the least. So I decided that I was going to make them see me, somehow. I knew it was possible. People see dead people all the time, right? Alice seemed like the best choice. She was the clairvoyant, after all. Maybe the future wasn't the only thing she could see.

But as much as I tried, I couldn't get her to see me. As loud as I yelled, she still couldn't hear me. I was completely invisible.

I was truly helpless.