the authors note is at the end of the chapter this time.

"The day will come and it kills me That the thing that I gave you Will take you away from here I need a chance to catch my breath I know the only thing that can take away our fear…" – Antidote for Irony, So They Say.

Edward was out hunting with Emmett and Rosalie for the weekend. I never realized how boring it was without him here. I didn't know what to do with myself.

Jasper was reading some boring book that made me want to die all over again, so sitting in his study and reading along with him was out of the question. How he ever found it be entertaining, I don't think I'll ever know.

Carlisle was pulling a double shift at the hospital and I didn't want to hang out with sick people all day, so that was out. Esme was doing her weekly cleanup of the house, which didn't take as long as she expected because the house was already spotless.

And Alice…well, she was no where to be found. I thought maybe she went with Edward last minute, but maybe she out shopping with Kate from the Denali coven or something, but then again, I could be wrong. I would have asked Jasper, because surely he would know, but there was the little problem of him only being able to feel me and not hear me.

So I pretty much sat in Edward's room doing nothing for two days. I never thought being dead could be so boring. I thought about visiting Charlie real quick, but then I remembered the promise I made to myself that I wouldn't bother him anymore and let him move on. So going back to Forks would break that promise, and I didn't like breaking promises.

Losing track of time was surprisingly easy, once I got bored enough. Before I even realized it, it was Sunday night and Edward was due back any minute. And that was when I finally noticed now much I missed him. Before, I had been so bored that I guess I didn't think about it, but now that I was expecting him, it almost physically pained me to have him gone.

I pretty much ran to the front door when I heard it open. Emmett was the first to enter. I kind of found it weird that he looked paler now than he did when he left. I didn't even know vampires could get any more white. Apparently so.

I figured it was nothing of consequence, but when Edward and Rosalie walked into the house, practically falling over each other laughing, I decided to ask questions.

"What's going on?"

"Emmett….spider…running," Edward managed through his laughter.

Poor Emmett, he ran into a spider. I wanted to laugh at him, but then again I knew how he felt. But I had a fear of needles, not spiders. I had the strange urge to go over and hug him. I wished I could.

I shook my head and started for the stairs again. I figured I might as well give Edward some time to calm himself down. By the time I got to the top floor of the house, though, he was running after me.

"Hey," he said, slowing down to come into step with me.

"Hi," I turned my head, smiled sweetly and turned away again.

We were at his room by now. I walked ahead a little and entered first and then Edward came in and shut the door behind him.

"How was hunting?" I asked, trying to make small talk. For some reason I was feeling awkward around him today. I didn't know why. It was like the love struck teenager bit was finally catching up to me or something.

"I did a lot of thinking," Edward replied, taking a seat on his couch.

"Thinking?" I said. "About what?"

"Us."

I knew it shouldn't have bothered me, but suddenly I felt like I was on roller coaster and we were going down the first drop. But at the same time I was rejoicing because he actually said 'us' as if we were a couple or something.

Edward must have seen my face fall, because suddenly he was standing in front of me, forcing me to look into his eyes. "It's nothing bad," he assured me. "I promise."

I didn't trust my voice right then, so I just nodded and tried to smile.

A few minutes later, I finally regained usage of my vocal chords. "So, what were you thinking about again?"

Edward smiled and beckoned me over to sit with him on the couch. "I was thinking of a way for us to be together."

I frowned, confused. "We are together."

He rolled his eyes, "I mean, really together."

"Edward," I sighed, "you know as well as I do that that's impossible."

"No it's not," he shook his head.

I sighed again. "The only way you and I could truly be together was if you actually died, or I miraculously came back to life. And even then there wouldn't be the certainty that we'd see each other."

Edward got this glint in his eyes then, and I knew for sure that he was up to something. I didn't like it. Not at all.

I was frowning again, but this time from worry. "Edward, what's going on?" I asked.

A smile spread onto his face. "It may be a difficult process, but vampires can die."

I blinked. "What?" I wasn't fully grasping the concept.

He couldn't possibly be serious, could he? Was he suicidal? The smile on his face didn't disappear. Oh God, he really was suicidal. This was all my fault. If I hadn't come along none of this would have happened.

"Edward, you've lost it!" I shrieked. "You need professional help. Go talk to Carlisle, or Alice, or someone!"

"I don't need help, Bella," he said. "Well, except for the dying part. But that's it."

"Okay, clearly you do," I nodded furiously. "You're talking about killing yourself here. You do realize that your family will never let you out of this house; you'll never be able to pull it off."

"See, that's where you're wrong. My family is currently getting ready to go on an extended hunting trip, one that I won't be going on because I just got back from hunting."

"And what about Emmett and Rosalie? They were with you, remember?" I was trying everything in my power to find the weak link in his plan. Something to keep him from trying to kill himself. Anything to stop him from leaving.

"Emmett and Rosalie are going to upstate New York to look at houses this week."

"Edward," I pleaded. "You can't do this. Please, please, don't do this."

"Bella, we can finally be together! We won't have to worry about anything."

I sighed. "We're together right now! We're immortal together, right this instant! Just think of it this way: we can be with each other forever, and you don't have to worry about changing me into a vampire or anything like that."

"Just talking to you isn't enough, I want more. I want to truly be with you."

"Edward, you're talking crazy here. What if Alice Sees you before you even leave, huh? Have you thought of that? She won't let you go."

"Alice isn't a problem. I've made my decision, Bella," he sighed. "I'm going to Italy."

Italy?! What the hell was in Italy? Oh god, Edward went of the deep end. This was what I was afraid of from the beginning. I had to stop him somehow, but I couldn't think of a way. I couldn't just stand by and watch the man I loved kill himself just to be with me. It was way too Romeo and Juliet for my liking.

I had to stop him. But how?

A/n: so guys, bet you have a lot of questions. the first that i know everyone is going to ask, is about Alice.

we all know that Alice is extra sensitive to non-humans and her family because she's so attuned to them. but she doesn't necessarily see everything. she can't. that wouldn't work out too well. and who decides if her visions are of consiquence or not? why should all her visions involve something catastrophic and life changing? so, that's why Alice doesn't see Edward going to Italy to kill himself.

also, this story is priority right now because its only got one chapter left. so if i don't update Call This a Prelude for a while, you'll know why. my life is really hectic and just overall annoying right now and i'm being ambushed by emotions i wish would stay dormant. ugh. anyways, this might be the last update for a while. sorry guys. i wish i could work my schedule around writing, since i love doing it so much, but it just doesn't work that way when you have SATs and school and college to worry about.

oh, and one more thing. don't hate me.