Mortal Kombat: Deception Mayhem!
Chapter 2:
"Dumbass," said the Tarkatan soldier, "The OLD Battlestar Galactica is the better one, no doubt about it!"
"I don't think so," said the other soldier, "The new one has better special effects and it's much easier to follow!"
"Battlestar is a classic, plain and simple. It should never have been remade! And the plot is only easier to follow because it's been dumbed down for nitwits like you!"
"Fuck off!"
"You shut up, you dumb shit!"
As the two Tarkata fought, Baraka stood in the background reading a dirty magazine, occasionally glancing at the two soldiers. For a long time, Baraka had been the general of Shao Kahn's army. After being sliced in half during a fight with Kung Lao, that job went to Kano. Baraka meanwhile found himself in Edenia, where he aided in Quan Chi and Shinnok's takeover of the realm. Once that plan failed miserably, Baraka returned to Outworld and took some time off, eventually going on to serve the Dragon King, once again as general of a Tarkatan army.
Baraka's job was to lead his army and distract enemies of Onaga while the fusing of Kamidogu was done. Baraka's current mission had him standing in the middle of a large forest waiting for an attack from some enemies.
"How dare you insult me!" snapped the Tarkatan soldier.
"Kiss my ass!" said the other.
The two began grappling. Baraka walked over to them and seperated them.
"The fuck is going on here?" demanded Baraka.
"He started it!" said one of the two Tarkata.
"I don't care," said Baraka, "There's no time to be fighting. It is our job to combat Onaga's enemies. They're coming after him, and we have to be ready to conquer them!"
"Please!" said the Tarkatan, "Who the fuck would be stupid enough to attack the Dragon King?"
"I don't know what the Deadly Alliance did to you guys to soften you up, but we're supposed to be the top fighting force of Outworld! Now, focus guys!"
"Yeah, sure," said the other Tarkatan, "Whatever, Playboy."
Baraka glanced at his magazine and tossed it onto the floor.
"It's an eye warm-up exercise," lied Baraka.
At that moment, there was a trumpet sound in the distance. A group of soldiers dressed like retarded Samurai charged through the forest.
"HALT!" shouted Baraka, "Who goes there?"
"We," began the leader of the army, "Have come in search of the Dragon King so that we may put an end to his reign of terror!"
"Ha!" laughed Baraka, as he flexed his knuckles, "You're gonna have to get through us before you do any killing!"
"You and what army?" asked the general.
Baraka turned around. There was no one there except the two Tarkata that were fighting...And they were now playing Crazy Eights on the ground.
"FUCK!" snapped Baraka, "WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYBODY? WE HAVE A BATTLE TO GET ON WITH HERE!"
The opposing army pulled out swords and other weapons. In a few minutes, Baraka found himself being chased down the woods by a mob of angry soldiers. Fortunately, Baraka's army showed up just in time and ambushed the opposing soldiers, killing them all.
"Whew," said Baraka, "That was freakin' close. Where the fuck were you guys?"
"Um," said one of the Tarkata, "We hid where you told us to hide, see?" He showed Baraka a map with coordiantes written on it.
"Idiot," said Baraka, "That map is upside down! I was 2 miles away from this spot!"
"Whoops," said the soldier, "My bad..."
Baraka stabbed the Tarkatan and began to walk off.
"Come on men," he said, "Let's go to the palace and inform Onaga of our victory. Man, I'm hungry..."
Mileena sat in the cold, dirty prison in Edenia. She wore an ugly grey sack as her sole article of clothing. Part of that sack had been torn off and made into a makeshift veil. Mileena had been thrown into prison by Kitana during Shinnok's invasion a few years back. The prison was originally beneath the palace, though overcrowding forced the Edenian government to build an entirely new place to house her.
Mileena despised living in a filthy cell and everyday, she dreamed of one day escaping and getting revenge on Kitana. For now, the half-Tarakatan attempted to dig her way out with a spoon (To no avail, of course).
"Awww," snapped Mileena, as she desperately dug the spoon into the stone wall, "I've been here for 2 years now, and a 4 inch hole is all I could do?"
Just then, the spoon broke.
"FUCK!"
"What's the matter," said a voice, "Having trouble?"
Mileena turned around to see Jade standing at the entrance at of the cell.
"The fuck do you want?" demanded Mileena.
"I was just checking up on you. You may be an evil, demented, hideous old witch..."
"Thank you," interrupted Mileena.
"But," continued Jade, "You're still sort of like a half-cousin to me and I do have feelings for you..."
"Really?"
"Yeah, feelings of hatred! HA!"
"You bitch! One of these days, you're gonna get what you deserve. You and all your Edenian friends!"
"Oh, by the way: Supper's ready!"
Jade pulled a raw steak out of her green thong and tossed it into the cell.
"Fuck off!" said Mileena.
As Jade left, Mileena picked up the steak and gobbled it down in a matter of seconds. When she finished, she burped. She then attempted to dig out again, even though her spoon was damaged.