CHAPTER EIGHT
Later Piper told us that Chris Perry told her to go after us, but she thought he should--after all, she now realized that all of this was his big plan, not Leo's (your mother was always a very smart girl!), so he could just go clean up his own mess!! And when Chris Perry told her that her job was to provide balance, she told him that he almost sounded like a Whitelighter, and it was too bad we already had one. And if that Whitelighter wanted her to do something, he could just come down and tell her himself! Then she yelled up at Heaven, "Do you hear that?"
That got Chris Perry mad. He insisted that if she really wanted Leo, she better vanquish the Titans, or she'd live in a world of darkness--his world.
Meanwhile, I was walking into the auction, thrilled by how my newfound charisma was making me the absolute belle of the ball (OK--I admit it--I liked it!! Is that so wrong??) I actually told them that I was going to bid myself off, and, oh, nephew mine, you should've seen the bids I got!!! Those guys really wanted me!! Okay, they didn't want me, they wanted the goddess of love, but, oh, man, was I enjoying it while I could!!!
At first Elise was shocked, until she heard those bids, and then she went along with them. As I happily put it, "There's plenty to go around!" And, yes, my face is beet-red, even as I write that!! Please make sure your Uncle Jonathan never sees this! Please!!
Meanwhile, as I was to later find out, Paige was having fun turning demons into her personal slaves. Suddenly a very angry Piper appeared. Paige told her she was building an army of demons--what better way to beat the Titans? Piper disagreed and made all the demons scoot. But they refused to obey anyone but Paige. Paige thought that rather than studying magic, she should've been busy becoming a general. Well, that thoroughly pissed off Piper, and she used her own powers to make the earth quake, and the terrified demons vanished. Paige was upset that she no longer had followers, but Piper told her that we couldn't have followers--we'd have to do this ourselves, and she better come back to the Manor before she got pissed at her! That was enough to scare even the goddess of war and Paige obeyed, following her back to the Manor, where Piper grabbed the trident and put it away, insisting that she didn't want Paige using it in the house.
Just about then, the Elf Nanny showed up, pushing Baby Wyatt in his stroller, telling Piper that a house of ill-repute was no place to raise a child. When they wanted to know what she meant, she pointed to the conservatory, where the goddess of love (me!) was holding court with all the guys I won at the auction. I'll admit I was saying more and more barfy lines, enough to gag me with a steam shovel, as I think of them now!! Just remember, nephew mine, everything I was doing back then was just because I was under the influence of divinity--I swear!
Just about then Chris Perry walked in, that ultra-irritating smirk back, wanting to know what's going on--goddesses gone wild? He was about ready to do something about it, but Piper took over--blowing all of my faithful subjects out into the foyer and in fear, they all took off.
Chris Perry thought that was more like it! Piper glared at him, then told me and Paige that it was morality-check time, reminding us of what happened to the Greeks gods and goddesses when they tried to act that way. Well, nephew mine, you know your aunt--unlike your mother and your other aunt, I've never been much of a fast learner. I kept right on flirting with Chris Perry, who still refused all of my advances--he actually seemed disgusted by the goddess of love! Hey, it was his plan--he helped make me that way!
Just about when I thought Piper was going to kill me, there was suddenly a jingle. But weren't the Elders all dead?! Chris Perry smirked again--Leo isn't! Leo? Our Whitelighter could jingle??? Chris Perry warned that Leo was saying that an Elder was under attack. Even as we tried to wrap our minds around the idea that Leo could warn Chris Perry, the same way that the Elders always warned Leo, we knew what we had to do. Time for us to go battle the Titans!!