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Ben
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Chapter Seven: The Way Old Friends Do
Sorry.
The word we are taught to say when others have discovered our foolish and shameful acts.
Sorry is an expression of guilt.
Sorry is the word that is uttered when we seek forgiveness.
Sorry is supposed to signify great redemption in a person's soul.
Now that I'm dead, I don't miss having to be sorry.
It causes so much pain.
The grocery store is the one place that all Suburban Housewives are guaranteed to have to go to at one specific point in their hectic schedules. It is also the one place that any Suburban Housewife will meet the one other Housewife she was planning to avoid. Guaranteed.
"Bree!"
Bree tried to hide the repulsion on her face as she recognized Susan Mayer's over-chirp caterwauling from behind her. She turned, placing the condensed milk into her basket and greeted Susan with a practiced wan smile.
"You haven't been returning my calls"
"I know" she informed her old friend.
"But, I just really want to apologize for over reacting Bree, this isn't healthy for our friendship." Susan pleaded.
"Friendship? Susan, we haven't spoken in three months, this is not what is defined as a friendship. Now can you excuse me I have to get some other ingredients for the pies I'm baking for the blood drive."
She attempted to edge her away around a determined Susan who was making damn sure that Bree could not get away easily.
"Susan, please-"
"Bree…" Susan reached out, placing one hand on Bree's shoulder. She continued; "What else was I supposed to think?"
Bree, aware of the fact that it was half past nine and these pies had to be made, completed and decorated with marzipan apples by half past twelve, made the decision that she had to end this now.
"I don't know what else you were supposed to think Susan. But I thought you knew me well enough to know that I would never, ever betray you like that. You say this is not healthy for our friendship, but, maybe it wasn't all that healthy to begin with"
"But…"
"Goodbye Susan."
Bree Hodge moved swiftly up the aisle towards the checkouts, weaving gracefully in and out of the moving shopping carts. Susan Mayer fell to her knees, her face crumpling with the sensation of fresh, salty tears stinging her eyes.
PAST:
Christmas
1975
New York
Edie Britt scurried beside her Mother, her small, chubby legs working over-time to try and keep up with her Mother's striding pace. This was difficult enough for the youngster normally, but now she had the dazzling lights twinkling ad flashing in ever direction around her, it was even harder to try and remain focused.
She'd always adored Christmas Lights. Her Mother's ex-boyfriend had brought her some of her own fairy lights that she draped across her window last year, but her Mum had broken them at Easter once that particular relationship had run its course.
Edie hadn't minded too much, she was saving up her milk money for a new set that she'd seen at the garage in her town. They were beautiful; they even had miniature angels on them that revolved. When she grew up she'd throw them out because they were "tacky" but at this tender age, Edie thought they were marvelous.
Her Mother suddenly made a swerve to the left and Edie struggled to make it into the store that she'd gone into.
Inside, she followed her Mum over to the marble check-in desk. No one was behind it so her Mother began to ring the bell repeatedly. A very flustered young woman appeared from an office behind carrying a large stack of envelopes. She shuffled over, being extra careful not to drop any and greeted the pair with a large grin.
"Hello There, I'm Sophie Bremmer, Manager, can I help?"
"I have a reservation under the name of Britt"
The woman skimmed the list she had in front of her.
"Um, we don't appear to have you registered. Come with me and we'll try and get it sorted"
She showed them through to a back room.
"Your first?" Edie's Mother asked, referring to the bump that was meant to be being concealed by a large maternity blouse.
"First and second. Twins. Both Girls" and she grinned again.
PRESENT:
Gabrielle surveyed the abomination to mankind that sat before her. Her Mother had invited him over for coffee and tortillas when she'd met him at the spa that afternoon. He would have been attractive if it wasn't for the receding hair line, gap tooth and lazy eye that seemed to be constantly searching for her.
"Hi, you're beautiful, I'm Cecil"
Oh God, it couldn't get any worse.
"I have seven cats"
Ah, it seemed it could indeed, get worse.
Turning to her Mother with a look of utter bewilderment on her face, she managed to utter out something about being allergic to anything with fur.
"Cecil owns a large diamond factory in Tasmania"
So, he was rich. Now she knew why her Mother had invited him home.
"I don't care what he owns; I want him out of my house. I don't trust men who can look behind them without turning their head."
"Gabby!" Her Mother protested.
Cecil turned and left the house, slamming the door with such a force Gabrielle's wedding photo tumbled off of the phone stand and shattered on the floor. Rushing over, she scooped up any shards that looked as if they could be stuck back together easily.
"What are you hanging on to him for Gabriella when he hurt you so badly?"
"That's the thing about love, if you love someone that much, you can forgive them. I've forgiven him Mother."
"Oh Karl" Susan opened the door to her ex-Husband and had to refrain from sighing right in his face. "Come in"
"Thanks Susie-Q"
"You know, no matter how many times you call me that, it never gets cuter."
She wandered to the kettle and flicked the switch that would boil it.
"So what do you want? You know Julie's out of town on the Geography trip"
"I know she is, I got a postcard from her this morning"
"You did? I didn't…"
"Oh, well, yours is probably in the post somewhere Susie-Q. No, I came to see you."
"Well make it quick Karl, Mike's taking me to dinner in an hour and my hair still looks like the back end of a horse."
"Sit down" he asked her, pulling out a chair from under the table.
"Okay…"
"Now, I need to promise me you won't get angry…"
"Karl, it's you- I'm guaranteed to get angry"
"Well…REALLY angry then"
"I don't know what it is Karl, so I can't promise that."
"I'm sorry Susie, I didn't think I was doing anything wrong, I presumed he knew and if I'd have known he hadn't- I wouldn't have said anything."
Susan was glad she hadn't promised to get angry as it dawned on her what her imbecilic ex-Husband had done to her. She now relished in the fact that she could now get as angry as she liked, and make him as sorry as she liked, and Mike wouldn't mind if she was too late for her date with him.
Sorry.
The word that others expect to here after we diminish them and their family.
That word signifies a person's guilt, sorrow and regret.
Whether it is genuine however, is a completely different matter in itself.
Those lucky enough to be forgiven experience the glimmer of hope and re-gain the self respect we have lost.
It is only when this happens, that we can move on, and grow.