Mortal Kombat: Deception Mayhem!

Chapter 9:

Kabal, Kobra, and Kira flew out of the giant orb and landed on solid ground.

"WAHOO!" screamed Kabal, "Can we do that again?"

"No!" snapped Kabal.

The three stood up and examined Montoon valley. It consisted of nothing but barren desert with a few mountains in the distant background. The sky was a dark brown colour and various objects were floating around.

"Pfft," said Kira, lighting up a cigarette, "This place ain't nothing special..."

Just then, Kira was struck by a flying table.

"The fuck?" said Kira.

Kobra began to laugh uncontrollably. Just then, a bathtub flew by and knocked him down.

"Yeah," said Kabal, "You better watch yourself. This place is random and chaotic at times."

"Yeah," said Kobra, rubbing his head, "I figured."

"Are we going to find this guy Havik or what?" demanded Kira, "I can't stand another minute in this fucking valley!"

"Yeah, sure," said Kabal, "Come on, Kobra, let's get moving!"

Kobra stood up and began to walk after Kabal and Kira.

"By the way," said Kabal, dodging a flying cow, "I should warn you...Another side effect of Chaosrealm is talking backwards, so don't be surprised if...You know."

"?sdrawkcab gniklaT" asked Kobra.

"?yas tsuj uoy did kcuf eht tahW" said Kira, "!oot taht ekil gniklat m'I !yeH"

"See?" said Kabal, "Told ya! Don't worry though, you'll get used to it, like I did."

".looc adnik yllautca si sihT" said Kobra.

"!skcus gnikcuf siht ,oN" shouted Kira, "Sorry, I mean, 'This fucking skcus!"

"You still said 'sucks' backwards," Kabal pointed out.

"!kcuf ,wA" said Kira.

Just then, a mysterious figure approached them.

"Who's that?" asked Kobra.

"Hey Havik!" said Kabal, "Long time no see!"

"Welcome back to Chaosrealm," said the figure.

The man who approached them, Havik, wore large purple robes with a hood over his face. He carried a small bag with him.

"You're Havik?" asked Kira, "You don't look so special."

Havik slowly removed his hood, revealing his mutilated face. Kobra and Kira wretched.

"Geez," said Kobra, "I thought Kabal without his helmet on was bad!"

"HEY!" snapped Kabal.

"...yrroS" said Kobra, "!niaga gnineppah s'ti ,on hO"

"Here," said Havik, reaching into the bag and pulling out some candies, "Eat these. They'll help you to adjust."

Kobra and Kira took the candies and ate them.

"Better?" asked Havik, "Made 'em myself."

"I can tell," said Kobra, looking sickly.

"What brings you out here?" asked Kabal.

"I was tired of waiting for you guys," began Havik, "So I decided to come looking for you."

"We would have been here sooner," said Kabal, "If someone didn't keep wandering off!"

Kabal glared at Kobra.

"Whatever," said Havik, "Now, follow me to my home!"

The three crossed the valley to where Havik lived.

Baraka and Mileena stepped into Onaga's office where Tanya was already waiting.

"So?" asked Baraka.

"I'm waiting for Onaga," replied Tanya, "I see you two lovebirds wasted no time going back to your usual antics."

"Aw, shut up!" said Mileena, "You're just jealous because you're over 10,000 years old and still don't have a boyfriend!"

"I've had many boyfriends," said Tanya, "I just betrayed everyone of them, that's all."

"Typical," muttered Baraka.

"No wonder everyone hates you!" snapped Mileena, "Where's your loyalty, you slutty Edenian ghoul?"

"You're calling me a ghoul when you're the one with the set of fangs?"

"If you and I didn't share the same hatred for Jade, I'd fucking bop you!"

At that moment, Onaga entered the room.

"All right ladies, enough!" he said, "Now, let's get down to business."

Onaga sat down at his desk.

"I've just received word that the enemy armies are attempting another attack on my palace and we can't let that happen, can we?"

"No sir!" said Baraka, "I'm already on it!"

"Excellent," said Onaga, "The decoding is coming along perfectly. I predict it will take us a few more weeks to get it all done."

"A few weeks, eh?" said Tanya, "Damn! I'd better get to work!"

"I just thought of something," said Mileena, "Why don't I go along with Baraka to help him out?"

"I don't know," began Onaga, "You're still kinda new..."

"Yeah," said Baraka, "But she's had experience before! Let her come along and I'll show her the ropes of Tarkatan warfare!"

"Alright," said Onaga, "It's settled then! Go and do your jobs! I'll be right here working on...'Stuff'."

Everyone left the room. Onaga then turned on his computer and played Minesweeper.

Kabal, Kobra and Kira entered the small hut where Havik lived. Not only was it in the middle of nowhere, but it was so small, there was barely enough room for the four people to step inside. To make things worse, the main room was a disaster area. Garbage, books, food - You name it - was scattered across the floor.

"Have a seat," said Havik, "I had a big party here last night. Even the people of Chaosrealm say I'm very chaotic, and that's saying something!"

"Um, yes," said Kabal, sitting on a couch with Kobra and Kira, "Now, what was it you called us here for?"

"Want something to eat?" asked Havik.

"No," replied Kabal.

"Something to drink?" continued Havik, "Some durian juice? Maybe some pizza shakes?"

"Could you just tell us?" demanded Kabal.

"Geez," said Havik, "Now, as you know, the Dragon King has been resurrected and has reclaimed the throne of Outworld."

"So I've heard," said Kabal, "Apparently the Deadly Alliance fell from power?"

"You were in Earthrealm looking for recruits," said Havik, "Remember?"

"Yes, yes, carry on."

"Now, this Dragon King, known simply as 'Omega' or 'Nobunaga' or some shit like that, is a major threat to the chaos that I've worked so hard to spread. As you know, I'm sort of like Chaosrealm's ambassador."

Kabal, Kobra and Kira nodded.

"With Shao Kahn in power, there was chaos - Wars, conspiracies, scandals - People were feuding and starting shit all the time! With the Dragon King in power, the realms will be united and merged, and all that will remain is peace and order. It makes me sick just thinking about what's to come."

"So," began Kobra, who was picking at some gum stuck to the couch, "You want us three to kill the Dragon King?"

"Hell no!" snapped Havik, "He has plenty of enemies to do that job for us! Our job is to sneak in after the resistance has won, then take his heart."

"Heart?" asked Kira.

"Yup," said Havik, "You see, his heart contains the power to resurrect. That's how his army was invincible. If we take the Dragon King's heart (After he's been killed) then I can resurrect Shao Kahn from the dead and restore his super-chaotic rule."

"Why should I help you resurrect Shao Kahn?" asked Kabal, "He scarred me for life! Look at what I have to wear now!"

He pointed to his breathing apparatus.

"Look," said Havik, "I healed your wounds, now I expect you to return the favour. Besides, once he sees that you've replaced Kano, he'll be your new best friend, guaranteed! Now, before we do anything else, I must test your new recruits!"

"What do you mean?" asked Kobra.

"When Shao Kahn reconquers the realms," began Havik, "Only the strongest warrior will survive!"

Havik then stood up and ripped off his purple robes, revealing a body covered with thick armor. Havik then placed a helmet on his head.

"Let's get a move on," he said.

Hotaru and Zeke found themselves in a small town just outside the forest. They were glad to be out of the wilderness for once.

"We are so lucky to be alive," said Hotaru, "So many months on this perilous journey, so many men lost!"

"Geez," said Zeke, "Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit? I mean, we only lost one person, and we've been gone for a week at most. And for half the trip, we flew on a dragonfly."

"Zeke," said Hotaru, calmly, "Shut up."

Zeke sighed, "Now what?"

"We ask around," replied Hotaru, "Let me do the talking."

Just then, a man clad in red walked by. Hotaru approached him.

"Um," began Hotaru, "Excuse me, sir..."

The man suddenly jumped up into the air and began doing backflips. He then twirled around a few times, before landing on the ground and striking a pose.

"We are Ermac!" announced the man, "State your case!"

"Wow," said Hotaru, "Nice intro, well done. Listen, I need to know if you've seen this man."

Hotaru held up the photo of Sub-Zero.

"Oh," said Ermac, "We see...Because we're a ninja, you think we know where this ninja is?"

"No, I..."

"You think that we know every single ninja that roams Outworld, like we're all a bunch of pen pals or something?"

"Not at all..."

"Let us tell you something," Ermac moved in very close to Hotaru, "We ninjas don't have a psychic connection to each other. But we guess that's too much for your prejudiced mind to take!"

"Please calm down," said Hotaru, "I don't wanna start something, I just wanted to know where Sub-Zero is."

"Oh yeah?" said Ermac, "Well, next time think twice about what you say you racist bastard."

"Sorry," said Hotaru as Ermac walked off angrily.

"Well," said Zeke, "Let's get going..."

All of a sudden, Ermac showed up again.

"By the way," said Ermac, "If you're looking for Sub-Zero, he left town an hour ago, via that path. We think he might be heading to the Belzeen Forest."

"Ah," said Hotaru, "Thank you."

Ermac left.

"So...?" asked Zeke.

"I need a drink first," said Hotaru.

"All right," announced Havik, "Let your training begin!"

Lesson 1: Target Training

"In times of combat," began Havik, "You will need to remain vigilant. You must have a sharp eye and some damn good reflexes!"

Kira and Kobra found themselves in Havik's private shooting range (Yeah, Havik has his own shooting range, got a problem with that?). In front of them were targets shaped like men. Kira pulled out her Dragon Teeth and flung them at the target. One struck the heart, while the other struck the head.

"Well done," complimented Havik, "Though I personally would've gone for the balls. Your turn, Kobra!"

Kobra pulled out his Kali sticks and flung them at his target. One missed, while the other bounced off the wall and flew backwards, striking Havik in the face.

"Sorry," said Kobra.

"S'okay, s'okay," replied Havik, rubbing his face.

Lesson 2: Speed & Endurance

Havika and Kabal stood at the side of a hill cheering on Kobra and Kira as they jogged their way up.

"Come on!" shouted Havik, "Keep going! Endurance is key!"

Kobra and Kira ran up the hill, sweating and out of breath. Suddenly, Kobra stopped.

"Oh cool," he said, "A snail!"

As Kobra bent down, Kira, who did not have enough time to stop, crashed into him and the two rolled down the hill.

Lesson 3: Strength

"For your final test," said Havik, "I will gauge your combat strength."

Havik held a large punching bag as Kobra delivered some kicks and punches to it.

"HARDER!" shouted Havik, "FASTER! Come on!"

"You want hard?" said Kobra, "I'll give you hard."

Kobra backed off and performed a flying kick. The only thing was that he missed the bag and hit the ground hard.

"Dumbass," said Havik.

Without warning, Kira charged the punching bag and kicked it. Her attack was so unexpected and powerful, that it sent the bag flying into Havik's face and knocked him down. Kira lifted her arms into the air and began to cheer.

"It can't get any worse," said Havik, lying on the floor, dizzy.

At that moment, the bag split open, spilling sand all over Havik's face.

Sometime later, Kobra and Kira lay down at the edge of a tall cliff with the upper half of their bodies dangling over the edge. Havik held down Kobra's feet, while Kabal held down Kira's feet. Both Black Dragons were doing ab crunches.

"I don't (gasp) understand the (gasp) point of this exercise," said Kobra.

"It's not an exercise," replied Havik, "It's punishment for your horrible display during my training session! You will pay for your weakness!"

"This is (Gasp) fucking ridiculous!" shouted Kira.

"Well," said Havik, "You better keep going or else I drop you!"

"EEP!" The two Black Dragons moved faster than before.

"So Havik," began Kabal, "When will our mission to retrieve the heart begin?"

"Before you can find the heart," said Havik, "You must first find the Key of Power!"

At that moment, a random thunder noise could be heard in the background.

"Okay," said Kabal, "What is this key for?"

"It unlocks the Dragon King's palace, and all of his treasure-filled rooms!"

"I don't (gasp) believe this!" said Kira, "Now (Gasp) we have to go (Gasp) looking for a fucking (Gasp) key?"

"Shut up and keep going!" snapped Havik, "500 more and the two of you are free!"

"Awwww," said Kobra and Kira.

"Where is this Key of Power (Thunder Noise) located?" asked Kabal.

"In the realm of Seido," answered Havik.

"You mean Orderrealm? Why there?"

"As you know, the Seidans are the preservers of peace and order in the universe. When someone like the Dragon King comes along and promises a strict and orderly rule, the Seidans instantly bow down to him!"

"All right. My recruits and I will head out once they're done here."

"Sir," began Kobra, "I did 500 more! Can I go now?"

"No!" snapped Havik, "I wanna hear you count properly this time!"

"Jesus," said Kabal, "Why do have to be so mean? They're my recruits!"

"They need discipline!" shouted Havik.

"Since when is a Chaosrealmer obsessed with discipline?"

"You're right...Okay, fuck it! You two are good now."

Havik then let go of Kobra, sending him falling down the cliff.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Kobra.

"KOBRA!" shouted Kabal, "What have you..."

Just then, Kobra fell from the sky and landed next to Kabal.

"What the?..."

"It's Chaosrealm," said Havik, "The law of physics don't apply."

"Cool," said Havik.

He then let go of Kira. She then fell from the sky and landed right on top of Havik.

"Whoops," said Kabal.

Havik cursed inder his breath.

"Hey, Hideous Maximus," began Kira, "You're helmet is riding up my ass! Ow!"