Standard Disclaimer
Numb
I hated my life now. A few weeks ago I was just unhappy. Now I hated it. I could only go out with married Burg girls. I couldn't be a Bounty Hunter. I had learned to cook. My house was spotless. I visited my parents a lot and had turned into another Burg clone. I could find Wonder Woman. I had lost her. She abandoned me.
I was at another dinner at my parents' house with Joe when I realized this. I wasn't me anymore. It was like an epiphany. It just hit me that this wasn't what I wanted. My mom must have seen a look on my face because the next thing I knew she was asking if I had finally gotten pregnant.
"No mom. I am not pregnant. I haven't even been trying. I have been taking birth control."
"What? Why. You are going to marry Joseph. Why are you still taking birth control?"
"Because I don't want kids right now. The very thought makes me shiver." I was still in a daze. I couldn't control my mouth.
"We discussed this Cupcake. Don't talk to your mother like that. She is just trying to help you." I started seeing clearer and I got angry for the first time since the Scrog mess. Since Joe had convinced me to move in.
"I'm tired of this!"
"Tired of what Stephanie?" My mom was baffled.
"I'm tired of being what you want me to be. I feel like I have lost faith in myself. I feel like the real me is just under the surface, but you keep pushing me back down. I don't know what you expect of me! You put so much pressure on me to take after you! That isn't me! Every thing that I do that is me is just another mistake to you. I've become so numb. I don't know why I am becoming this. This is not me. I want to be more like me and less like you. Can't you see that you are smothering me? You are holding on too tightly. You are afraid to lose control of me. Both of you. Everything you thought I would be just isn't me. I'm sorry but I can't pretend anymore."
"Cupcake. Settle down. I'll take her home Mrs. Plum. She must have inhaled too many Clorox fumes."
"Okay Joseph, come by later this week when you are feeling better."
It didn't matter to them that I wasn't happy. This is who they wanted me to be and they would do everything necessary to make me that way. I was brimming with anger by the time I got home.
Hope you enjoyed. I know that my characters are a little over the top, but that is how they have to be in order for this to work. I need some reviews, so, review me!! This chapter was based on the song Numb by Linkin Park.