AN: again, jenwin23 beta'd this and saved my day... :D
Alec warily watched Max, while rubbing out the kinks on his neck.
"You really know how to make a guy feel at ease, don't you?" he muttered, awkwardly admitting his feelings.
"Are you telling me I make you nervous?" Max asked coyly, looking at him through her eyelashes.
"Yeah."
Alec's admission warmed Max's heart. Her life was out of control right now, and even if said lack of control gave her an unexplainable sensation of freedom, she was acutely aware of the note of panic lurking in her mind. If said panic wasn't at full throttle it was clearly thanks to Alec. Now for instance, he was generously giving her the upper hand where he could, even if it made him feel uncomfortable. She had a sneaking feeling that he usually wasn't that open, but since he did know her better than she knew herself, he was giving her some kind of power over him to make her feel better.
Awww, sooo cute! Max gushed to herself. I can't really take advantage of all this sweetness, can I?
The smile on her pouty lips became predatory for the briefest moment, and then resumed a bashful appearance. She leaned closer to him, and absent-mindedly began toying with a loose thread of his long sleeve. When she talked again, Max sounded innocently worried even to her own ears.
"Alec..." she exhaled, seemingly gathering up her courage, "you've got nothing to hide, right? Cuz you still haven't answered my question and I'm getting slightly antsy here... About us, you know?"
Well... I guess I can.
Yes, the provocative note in her voice was almost undetectable.
Almost.
Alec groaned. Oh yeah, he had caught the sudden, quick change in Max's smile, and the sultry undertone in her not so innocent voice.
She was playing havoc with his senses. And his mind. Her body was so close that he didn't dare breathe too deeply because her smell alone was intoxicating, let alone her hands which were distractedly touching his in feather-like caresses raising goose bumps on his heated skin.
But the state of his mind was even worse. He seemed to recall a time when he could talk himself out of anything. Now his happiness was at stake, and he could barely remember his name. Hell, even Max with amnesia had done better!
Alec knew this was the turning point. He was determined to tell her the truth, still he realized how in her unbiased condition Max would be more perceptive of her own feelings. Like the smartest blade runner, he needed to walk a precarious balance along the line of what to tell her and what to... forget to mention. He needed to make her see with her own eyes. And since she was surprisingly doing a lot of work on her own, his part should have been as easy as stealing candy from a baby. He just had to nudge her in the right direction.
Too bad he was envying the acuity of a retarded sloth right now.
"We're not like that!" Alec blurted out.
Oh.My.God! He couldn't believe his own words! Max wasn't going to let him live through that, he was sure. Not now, given the dangerous glint in her narrowed eyes, and not later when she'd recover her memory. How many times he had mocked and sneered at her when she used those exact words to describe her non-relationship with Loggie boy? He was giving her more ammo than she needed, no kidding.
What now? He needed to obfuscate. Manipulate the obvious meaning of his idiotic statement. Lie and...
"Oh crap! I can't do that!"
"Do what?"
"Huh? Did I say that out loud? Great! This is getting better and better. Just got the chance of a lifetime on a silver platter and I... Urgh! I can't believe this! You know Max... I really miss you. You know... you. I mean, you never let me go that far with my stupid ramblings. You just slap me or punch me or--- Ouch! That was uncalled for!" he cried out, nursing the offended arm.
"D'ya think? You were begging for it!"
Max was pouting now. He had been begging to be hit, hadn't he? Alec chuckled softly. One way or another, she was going to be the death of him, he knew.
He exhaled, and tried to collect his thoughts.
Just keep it simple. For your own sake, boy!
Easier said than done, mate. How could he keep his cool when he was losing himself into those warm, deep, bottomless pools?
"What I'm saying is, we're not like that yet. Lots of baggage and history and such. The road is long and winding, you know? But it goes in that direction, I'm sure of it. I mean... we're always at each other's throats, and you just keep manhandling me, have right from the start. That's attraction. Maybe not for normal people, but for us? Foreplay. And then there is the trusting thing. I got your back, you got mine. I always understood that, it comes with being transgenics. But you added a whole new dimension to that, the night I got arrested and, after saving my butt, again, we talked. Like for the first time ever. Yeah, that night there was more. That night you don't remember now, but that it's branded on my soul forever, you chose me. Not Logan, not even Cindy or big, loving Joshua. Me, old screwed up Alec. So I guess, maybe that's the reason you keep saving my ass, and I keep coming back every time you push me harder. Oh God, that's unbelievable!" Alec let out a frustrated sigh, his free hand ruffling his hair. "For once you want to talk, but you don't remember what we're talking about! Or better: what I am talking about."
Max had no clue, indeed. But she was hanging on his words, brows furrowed, hands motionless on his. She was clearly trying to find an echo of his words, of the meaning of them, in her blank memory. Her efforts were encouraging, a soothing balm on Alec's bruised hopes.
Tell me that I'm not being delusional Maxie! Tell me that you did choose me, and that there is something here...
"Tell me that I don't always go for the ones I can't have..." he murmured quietly to himself.
Alec didn't realize that he had actually whispered the last sentence until Max's hands gripped his wrist. His eyes snapped back on her in an instant, but he couldn't utter a single word.
She was so damn close! Max's cheeks were slightly flushed, her chocolate eyes fixed on his lips, black hair framing her face, and draping a curtain that protected and isolated them both from the rest of the world. So close, impossibly close...
Oh shit! When did she get that close?
His words and the rich sound of his voice had drawn Max to Alec. He was too lost in his own thoughts to notice, but she was almost sitting on his lap by now, her attention torn between her mind and her body. She badly wanted to remember, but the unconscious signals that Alec's body was sending were driving her crazy.
But at the last sentence, her thoughts and physical sensations collided as a memory came crashing into focus, and drug her somewhere in her past.
"...I always go for the ones I can't have..."
Loud music, colored lights and shadows. Lots of people, men and semi-naked girls walking around.
She was sitting on Alec's lap, her hand entangled in his hair, his firmly settled on her hips. He was talking, but she wasn't really paying attention, until he said something that pissed her off.
Logan. Who? Someone she knew? Not that she cared, anyway.
And a virus. What virus? Weren't they supposed to be immune to anything or what?
Whatever it was, oh boy she could feel the anger of her old self cursing through her body. But was that just anger? Because the moment she grabbed him, pulling him against her, so close that they were breathing the same air, a strong, unbidden emotion overwhelmed the familiar anger. Before past Max could recognize it, someone called them, breaking the spell, leaving present Max with a sneaky suspicion...
"Max! Maxie... Are you okay?" Alec's concerned voice replaced the stranger's, and she blinked twice, fighting a wave of dizziness.
While reliving the memory, Max had unconsciously shifted in the same position they had back then. She didn't mind being that close to Alec, but it sure didn't help with rational thinking. She pulled back abruptly, startling him.
She needed some fresh air. Or better, she needed to splash cold water on her flustered cheeks to extinguish the fire Alec had ignited in her blood.
A memory! She had remembered something finally, and she wanted to analyze it to make the most of it. And she needed a clear head to do that...
And then, there was Alec's speech. She had to reflect on that too, and... wait. Not like that, huh? Max wasn't sure why, but that irked her sooo much. She wasn't really angry, just fucking annoyed. She hadn't answered him yet, and she could see a hint of worry in his hazel eyes. But most of all, he was squirming, waiting for her reaction to his words.
Yeah, squirming. She liked that...
Max put her palms flat on his chest, using him to steady herself and standing up. Before heading to the women's bathroom, she sighed deeply.
"I wouldn't say 'okay', you know?" she said dejectedly. "I mean... no sex with the hot boyfriend. No hot boyfriend at all! Way to let down a poor, hurt girl..." Max trailed off, sounding miserable like a kicked puppy. Then she turned, and walked away, her shoulders sagged.
Alec never saw the malicious grin adorning her pouty lips.
"M-Max?" Oh, for heaven's sake! He couldn't even utter a word without stuttering now? And that disgustingly pleading tone?
Get your transgenic ass in gear and stop her, you twit! Get the girl, now!
"Max!" he shouted again, way more manly this time. Unluckily, in his haste to reach her he almost knocked her off. Max clutched his shirt to keep her balance, and his hands grabbed her waist.
"Listen, Max..." Actually, Alec didn't know what to say, but he felt no relief when a familiar voice coming from the TV caught Max's attention.
"Do not attempt to adjust your set, this is a streaming video bulletin... it cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped. This is the only free voice left in America. Eyes Only..."
Unbelievable! Alec groaned out loud. Yeah, he got the girl in his arms, and there she stood, mesmerized, looking with dreamy eyes at her forgotten-but-unforgettable, never-like-that boyfriend!
Not that he had done better, anyway. The not-at-all hot boyfriend?
Alec saw Max visibly snapping out of whatever trance she got in after seeing the love of her life. Or ex love of her life? Or love of her ex life? He chuckled bitterly.
"I'll give it to you, roller-boy. You know how to make an entry!"
Max looked at him quizzically. "So... friend of yours?" She said sweetly. "Awww, look at those baby blues! They're so... soulful, don't you think?" Max sighed, seemingly lost in sweet memories. Then she turned, and her eyes locked unwavering with his. Her grip on his shirt tightened, and she stretched a little to reach his ear. Alec could almost feel her sultry smile on his skin while she murmured to him.
"Isn't it a real shame that I'm into hazel these days, huh?"
Had he really felt her lips brushing his cheek in a ghost-like kiss? Max released her grip, and let her hands slide over his chest in a light caress leaving a burning trail that, miraculously, didn't turn the shirt into ashes. She took a few steps back, and then tilted her face to one side, assessing with a satisfied smirk the irreparable damage she had just caused his poor mental health.
"I need a few secs in the lady's room," she said. Then, as a second thought, she added, purring: "Wait for me, will ya?"
Yeah, right. Even a tornado couldn't have moved him right now.
TBC