Akatsuki: Attack of the Tobi

I don't own Naruto, yeah.

Chapter 1: Waiting for Death

Everyone was gathered in their room, waiting for Tobi to come and kill them. That was all they could do, with what they have. Or, rather, what they DIDN'T have. "Man… I'm so hungry, yeah…" Deidara said. He glanced over at Zetsu. He was munching on something…" HEY!! ZETSU, YEAH!! YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON US, YEAH!!" Deidara yelled, pointing at Zetsu. Zetsu turned around. He was eating a squirrel. "WOAH!!DUDE… IS THAT A SQUIRREL!?" Kisame said. When he spoke, everyone looked at him, thinking the same thing…fish sticks… "What's with those looks, huh?" Kisame asked nervously. "Fish…" Sasori said. "Sticks… yeah." Deidara finished. "HEY!! WE HAVE NO TIME TO BE KILLING EACHOTHER!!! BESIDES, WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FIRE!! " Kisame said. "Who says we have to cook him?" Zetsu asked. "You're a sick and twisted Venus Flytrap, Zetsu, yeah." Deidara said. "Hey… I wonder how Itachi's doing…" Kisame said.

Wow… Tobi took over the place… Itachi thought, walking around. He was wearing a Tobi mask. He made one Tobi mask for himself. There are about a thousand Tobis here… they wouldn't notice if they had one more… right? "HEY!! LOOK!!! THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!" One of them said. CRAP!! "Why are you yelling?" another Tobi said. "UH… I DON'T KNOW!! " He replied. "Well, anyway, what number are you?" The other Tobi asked. We'll just call the one who yelled TobiA and the other one TobiB for now, ok? "Uh… 1004?" Itachi said. "But number 1004 is right beside you-" "MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!" Tobi 1004 was gone. "No he isn't." Itachi said. "R-right… You're Tobi 1004…" He said.

"Well, no matter, yeah. We have to keep moving if we don't wanna die, yeah." Deidara said, trying to cheer everyone up. "We are going to die. Everything between Konoha and our base, is TOBIFIED!! THAT'S A LONG DISTANCE DEIDARA!!WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!" The leader screamed. "I think that the first of us to go is Zetsu… he hasn't seen Daylight in about a week…" Kisame said. "Plants NEED Daylight…" Zetsu was shriveling on the floor. "Oh god…" The leader said, disgusted at what he saw. "Kisame, you're a fish, right? So give him some water!" The leader ordered. "Sir… I haven't seen the sea in 13 years…" Kisame said. "Ok, yeah! Here's an Idea, yeah! We keep moving, and while we keep moving, Zetsu gets sunlight, yeah!" Deidara suggested. "Plants need water too, dumbass…" Sasori said. "YEAH!? WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS!?" Deidara responded. "Woah…" Kisame, the leader, and Sasori said. "What!?" Deidara asked. "You didn't say 'yeah in two sentences straight…" Kisame pointed out. "OH MY GOD!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" The leader screamed. He jumped out the window… er… the wall. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?" Kisame yelled. "THERE AREN'T ANY WINDOWS HERE, LEADER!!" "i… think I noticed that… KISAME!!" The leader said, very angry. "THAT'S IT!! WE'RE MOVING!!" He screamed, stomping out the door… er… bumping into another wall. "That's what you get for not turning on the lights… leader." Sasori said. "Oh yeah… we never turned on the lights… maybe that's why Zetsu a huge pile of Shit on the floor…" Kisame said. "SEDRFTYUGHUGITGYNHUFGHNUJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zetsu said. (WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?) "yeah… sorry about that Zetsu…" Kisame said.

2 HRS LATER…

" Hey, I don't think the light was the problem with Zetsu…yeah." Deidara said. Zetsu was looking even WORSE than before. He looked like a huge pile of F#$ dipped in #$& and left to dry. Yeah… that bad. "Hey… maybe he's just like a real plant…Maybe we have to plant him!" Kisame said. "Yeah!! Let's plant him in the next town!" Sasori said. "Yeah!" Deidara said. And so they went To Konoha… or what was left of it… no no, what was now called "TobiVille". The name Konoha was crossed out with red paint.

"HALT!! STATE YOUR BUSINESS!!" TobiA said. "Uh… We're… friends of Tobi, yeah!" Deidara said in defense. "Which one?" TobiB asked, opening the door slightly so they could see the building society of Tobi inside. "O-O oh… uh… The real Tobi, yeah." Deidara responded. "Oh, he means the king, right?" TobiA said. "I think so!" TobiB said. Both nodded and turned to face them. "TO THE DUNGEON!!" Both Tobis said. "HUH!? WAIT NO-" They were all grabbed and thrown into the jail car to be put in jail. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, YEAH!?" Deidara yelled, but they closed the door on him. Zetsu was twitching now. "He might not make it, yeah…" Deidara said. "Not at this rate, no." The leader said. "What do we do?" Kisame asked. "Simple, Kisame… hope that the jail cell has a window and a faucet." The leader said.

TBC

ME: Will Zetsu live to the next chapter?

Will Itachi have the willpower to save everyone!?

ITACHI: No.

ME: BUT AREN'T WE FRIENDS!?

ITACHI: no.

ME: Is that all you can say!?

ITACHI: No.

ME: Then say something else!

ITACHI: No.

(Tobis put me in jail)

ME: HEY WHAT THE-

KISAME: Hey, Is that the author?

Deidara: I think it is, yeah.

ME: I lost control of my own story…

KISAME: Serves you right!

ME: Hey, what's that green thing on the floor?

KISAME: That was Zetsu… Until he shriveled up and is almost dead.

ME: What have I done…?

TOBI A: SHUT IT IN THERE!!

ME: REVIEW OR THEY'LL SENTENCE ME TO DEATH!!