Disclaimer: Well my attempt to infect Dick Wolf with Lupus failed and so I'm back to square one. I've decided to try steal the script to the season finale and hold it for ransom until he gives me what I want. Victory shall be mine…

Now onto the Meat and Potatoes

- Lizzie

Nightmares and Letters

Munch, Fin, and Cragen made their way into First National Bank, Novak's warrant clasp tightly Cragen's hand. This would be the answer to all of their questions. They approached the teller and Fin already had his badge out. The teller gave the three men an uneasy smile.

"What can I do for you gentlemen today?"

Cragen held out the warrant. "This is a warrant for Elliot Stabler's credit card transactions. That's S.T.A.B.L.E.R."

"Let me go and find someone. Do you gentlemen mind waiting?"

"Not at all," Cragen answered as the gentleman gestured to the table behind them.

"There's coffee and muffins if you're hungry."

Cragen thanked him as he walked back into the office section. While Cragen hoped this would turn up nothing, he also hoped that something would pop up because than he'd have an idea where Stabler was.

What'll you do if he has gone after Benson? Fire him?

Cragen shook that thought from his head. Stabler was one of his best and he couldn't let him go because he went looking for one of the people he was closest to. He, Cragen, knew that Stabler hadn't left for Europe to take an extra vacation while "mourning" for his lost partner. If he had gone to Europe, it would only be to find Benson.

You know this is the case but the Chief of Ds isn't going to be so kind. Unless he comes back with Benson…

This thought trailed off. Cragen had been going off the idea that Olivia Benson was dead and Elliot Stabler would return with nothing. Maybe this wasn't the case. Maybe Elliot Stabler would come marching through their door tonight with Olivia Benson at his side, just as they had done thousands of times in the past.

Despite the fact that Cragen counted himself as an agnostic, he offered a silent prayer to whichever god was up there that Stabler return with Benson beside him.

That's the only way you'll walk away from this, Elliot. Unless he brings her body…

"Gentlemen, we're ready for you. My name is Chuck." Cragen pulled himself back into the present, leaving his thoughts behind him. Whoever this Chuck guy was, Cragen owed him a debt of gratitude. He didn't want to think how those thoughts had plagued his dreams. He hadn't mentioned anything to Huang, simply because he wasn't ready to confront them. Cragen had never had children and he looked on this quartet of detectives as his children, yes even though Munch was older than himself. The night after Benson failed to return, Cragen had fallen asleep thinking there was a mix-up but, somehow, knowing otherwise.

He had dreamt that he had walked into work the next day and he, Munch and Fin were working on another case, half expecting Benson to walk through the door, when he had heard Stabler's voice screaming for him. He had followed Munch and Fin out the door only to find Elliot Stabler standing in the middle of the precient, covered in blood and carrying a body. The rest of the squad was staring. Finally Cragen had broken the silence.

"What's this, Elliot?"

His detective had marched over and dumped the corpse in his arms.

"It's Liv, Cap! Look she's okay."

Cragen had looked at the body in his arms. Benson looked anything but okay. Her body was mangled and caked with blood, some of which was fresh and some dried. Her eyes were closed and Cragen didn't need to feel for a pulse to tell him she was dead. He looked at Stabler, who's eyes were shining with tears.

"I told you she'd be okay, Cap!"

Cragen looked from Stabler to Benson and back again.

"Elliot, she's dead."

Stabler had shaken his head, muttering "no, no, no, no!"

Cragen had gone over and placed his hand on the detective's shoulder.

"Elliot, there's no pulse. She's been dead for a while."

Stabler had shoved Cragen off and he dropped Benson's body when he stumbled backwards. Stabler had reached over and picked Benson up.

"She's fine. Now, we have cases that need solving. C'mon, Liv, let's get out of here."

Stabler had turned and towards the precient doors. Once at the doors he tried to place Benson on her feet. When she collapsed, he turned to her.

"Can't you walk, Liv?"

Cragen turned to Huang, who had just entered.

"George, do something. He seems to think Liv's alive."

Huang had simply nodded. "I know and indulge him, Captain."

"Let him keep her corpse and take it on cases?"

Huang had nodded. "In my professional opinion, that's what should be done."

Before he had woken up, Cragen's last picture had been Stabler, picking up his partner's corpse and trying to help her sit at the desk.

Cragen hadn't had a dreamless sleep since. He hadn't slept the remainder of that night and only in brief increments since.

"Cap, Captain."

Cragen was again pulled out of his revere, this time by Fin.

"You got the warrant, Captain?"

Cragen reached into his coat pocket and produced the warrant, handing it to Chuck. While the Vice President of the bank entered numbers into his computer, Fin pulled Cragen aside.

"Are you okay, Cap?"

Cragen had nodded. "Fine, just kinda stressed out right now."

Fin had nodded and Cragen knew his detective didn't believe him because Fin kept glancing at him concernedly throughout the remainder of their meeting. Even after they had received the statements, and been told by Chuck that they would be informed if another massive transaction was made, Fin still kept exchanging looks with Munch.

Maybe I should talk with George, Cragen found himself thinking. It couldn't hurt. Maybe I should make it mandatory for everyone to speak with George. Cragen nodded to himself at this thought. Yes, that way it wouldn't stand out that he was weak or effected by this more so than anyone else.

"Cap, Fin." Cragen, who was riding shot gun, turned to face Munch and Fin, who was driving, gave a nod to show he was listening.

"It says that Stabler bought a one way ticket through American Airlines. It also says that he checked into the Leisure Inn Hotel."

"That's the same hotel Liv was staying at in London, right?" Cragen's worst fears had been confirmed. Stabler had left for London to search out his partner. He needed to have Stabler brought home now before he had to report his absence to the Chief of Ds. There was only one way to handle this.

"Munch, Fin, after you drop me off at the Station House, I want you to pack bags and head for jolly ol' London. Bring Stabler home, and keep your eyes peeled for Benson as well. Do you both have passports?"

Both men had nodded but were looking slightly put off.

"Are you sure that's the best way to handle this, Cap?"

Cragen wracked his brain. He was sure there was a better way but he couldn't think of it right now.

"Yes, it is."

Fin had nodded, as had Munch and before they knew it, both men were on there way to London England.

Elliot Stabler stood in Heathrow airport, a ticket to Latvia clutched in his hand. This wasn't a trip he was looking forward to but he knew it had to be done. His plane had been delayed and he contemplated calling home to tell Cragen, or at least Kathy, where he was. He hated being secretive but he didn't want to be ordered home. No, he would have to keep this to himself for the time being.

Elliot sighed as he picked himself up and headed to the local restaurant and indulged in a beer. He sipped it slowly, pondering if life would look better if he were drunk. No, he had to be in top form when he reached Eastern Europe.

Stabler continued to ponder his decision about taking off after Benson. He loved her so much but he wasn't sure how deep that love went. He had truly meant what he said to Kathy that night. He wanted to get back together with his family. He loved them more than anything.

How'll Kathy take this? This question had been at the forefront of Stabler's mind since he'd left. He and Kathy were on rocky ground as it was and he was afraid that this would remind her of why she had moved out. Kathy's been jealous of Liv and the time you spend with her. What'll she think when she discovers you've flown half way around the world just to find her? Will she realize that this is something I have to do? I would drop everything for her or one of the kids but I love Liv also. Will Kathy understand?

Stabler chugged the remainder of his beer and looked at the clock. He still had an hour, at the least, before take-off and Stabler pondered going back into the city and buying presents for the kids. No, this wasn't a fun trip but he wanted them to know he was thinking about them. Then the idea hit him.

"I'll send a postcard home to Kathy and the kids! I'll explain what's going on and why I have to do this."

Finishing his beer and leaving both payment and a tip on the table, Stabler hurried to the first tourist shop he could find. He quickly purchased a postcard and stamp. He than returned to his gate and began to write:

Dear Kathy, Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie and Dickie,

I'm sure you're all worried about me and I'm sorry. This is something I have to do. I love all of you but I'm sure you know that I love Liv as well. I plan on looking for her until I have reason to believe she's dead.

I hope you'll forgive me for my sudden disappearance and know that I hope to be home shortly. I'll keep in touch with postcards but I won't be able to call since I don't want anyone from the department knowing where I am.

Please understand why I'm doing this, Kathy. I hope to be home shortly. I hope there's still room in the family for me.

With love,

Elliot

Stabler placed the stamp on the letter, addressed it and put it in the mailbox.

I hope I'm home before you receive this, Kathy, but I doubt it.

"Flight 46 to Latvia, now boarding."

Stabler stood up and shouldered the new bag he had just purchased, which contained one spare set of clothes since he hadn't had time to return to his hotel room before his flight, and headed for the gate with the ticket in his hand.

Back in New York, Cragen was seated at his desk. Munch and Fin had just taken off and he was sure they would be in the air in a few moments. He was making his way through his fourth cup of coffee and he knew he wouldn't be sleeping much that night. But that was the goal. Cragen wasn't in the mood to see Stabler trying to prove Benson's corpse still had life.

Cragen's thoughts had just shifted to a drink of wine when he was pulled back by a knock on the door.

"Come in," he called, grateful for the interruption because those thoughts led down paths Cragen had no want to travel again. Casey Novak entered.

"Captain, we've just received another financial transaction from Detective Stabler."

Cragen motioned for Novak to have a seat.

"What is it this time, Casey?"

Novak held out the piece of paper and Cragen took it.

"Another plane ticket. This time to Latvia."

Cragen groaned and grabbed is cell phone. He quickly texted Munch and Fin.

On the airplane, the seatbelt sign had been turned off, meaning cell phones and laptops could now be used. Munch pulled out his phone while Fin tried to get some sleep. Fin was soon shaken away by Munch who held out his phone.

"Text from Cragen."

Fin groaned but leaned forward to read it.

"As soon as u land, get another tic and head for Latvia. Call when receive."

Fin smirked at the message. "And to think you don't like flying. You call, I'm gonna rest."

Munch nodded and dialed the familiar number. He really did hate flying and it looked as though he'd be stuck in the air for the remainder of the day.

"This bond between us can't be broken."

Phil Collins – You'll Be in My Heart

Author's notes: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. A special thanks to 1two3to1 for all of your extra help. See everyone tomorrow with a new chapter!