finally, after waiting all this time...the recording device that sima Yi was working on for the past week has been completed and handed to cao cao. It was a great moment in cao cao's life. Even better than the birth of his sons, better than having several wives...who would all join him on saturday nights.
"now! NOW IS THE TIME FOR GREATNESS!!!".
"my lord, if your gonna rant, could you please not do it standing on the table? im trying to eat".
cao cao's eyes drifted to one of his most trusted advisor, Xiahou Dun. If it were anyone else, cao cao would of spit a loogey on the mans dinner. But Xiahou was a honest man, loyal to cao cao.
"yes of course!!!!!!".
cao cao hopped off the table and proceeded on with his ranting, the guests had arrived afew hours before and seeing him scream out words like metallica and pantera was kind of scaring them. Sun jian watched from the table set up for the wu generals, he eyed cao cao as the man began to scream incoherently about this "heavy metal". Sun ce watched also, he then looked to his father.
"hey pop...what the hell is he doing?".
"shhh! cao cao somehow seen something thats making him do this".
"no shit pop, look at him...he keeps screaming pantera".
Sun shang xiang watched cao cao as he began to do pelvic thrusts and hand signs. Sticking both hands in the air, cao cao grabbed his two middle fingers with his thumbs and held up the pinkie and pointer. As more words spewed forth from his lips, the wei generals ate like it was a normal occurance.
"dad?".
"yes sun shang?".
"...i think he's smoking opium".
"yeah i think your right".
on the other end of the room sat the table of shu, Liu bei watched in shock as cao cao voice, which striked fear into most was being used in such a weird manner.
"guan, correct me if im wrong...but is cao cao sticking his tounge out and shaking his head".
"...no my lord, you are not wrong".
Zhang fei was laughing at this baffoon, sure cao cao was a man of power, but watching him do this made zhangs day so much sweeter.
"this is great, good wine, good food, cao cao as a jester! this is the best day of my life!".
Xing cai on the other hand was embarassed, both by her father and being the closests one to the table that wei was using. As the wei leader went as what people today like to call "ape shit", sima Yi came into the room with a strange looking device. Motioning to cao cao, he set the thing down on the table and began to tell cao cao what he heard.
"it was...THE BEST THING EVER!!!!".
Cao cao's eyes lit up, it worked! the god damn machine worked!!. Turning back to the room full of generals of the three kingdoms, he pointed to the machine.
"sima Yi...crank that friggen thing to full blast".
"yes my lord".
"may i all have your attention?".
Everyone was already looking at him, no surprise in that department. Gan ning, decided eh what the hell, might as well add his two cents.
"you already have our attention! we've been watching you for the past twenty minutes!!".
A bit of laughter was heard from the crowd, annoying the crap out of cao cao's already short fuse.
"oh yes laugh now! but you wont be laughing for long...the metal will own your soul you tattooed hairy ball sack".
Sun ce was the first to laugh at that comment, he then looked at cao cao.
"i like this cao cao better, he says what he wants to".
"your damn right! NOW PLAY THE MUSIC SIMA!!! PLAY!!!!!!!!!!!".
Sima Yi pulled a lever, and after five minutes of silence...it played. a evil screatching guitar ripped through the ears of all who was there, then the drums came followed by screams of bloodlust and anger. everyone stared at cao cao as he jumped around and screamed out the lyrics.
"METAL!!!!!!! OWWWW MOTHA FUKA!!!!!".
Huang zhong was the first to scream out, but not in pain by the music.
"this is the most FRIGGEN BADASS SHIAT EVA!!!".
Thats when everyone bailed, because if it got to zhong, then the music would turn them into cao cao...and they didnt want that. As they all left the room huang and cao cao were currently screaming and thrashing about in. Sun jian pulled Cao pi and Liu bei aside to discuss this metal matter..of metal.
"ok, cao pi i know your father has gone crazy, but i think its time you take over for him and we must all agree never to listen to metal again".
"agreed".
"yeah yeah".
"good, now we must decide what to do with cao cao and huang...hmmmm".
As jian thought about the matter, zhen ji approached and looked to pi. Her eyes studied the three men as they narrowed it down to two things, bury him upside down in dirt and forget about cao cao, or send him to japan and let them deal with the problem. She then voiced her opinion, as the three stood by thinking.
"we could try to intervine and rehabilitate lord cao cao".
"thats just crazy enough to work...".
"yeah the people in japan are touchy about the crazies...you cant just send any messed up person there".
"thats true, we tried to send Xiahou after he ate his eyeball".
"how about this, we try to rehabilitate cao cao and if that doesnt work...we build a tall box, bury him upside down in it then send that to japan?".
"great idea Liu bei, combine all three idea's into one fantastic idea".
"that works for me".
The three shook each other's hands, it was agreed upon. Something must and will be done about cao cao's rampage, even if its drastic and semi-sadistic.
was that great? cao cao has a new buddy to hang with and listen to music with too. but how will they set up the first rehab clinic for cao cao? and will it be enough to quell the thirst for metal inside him? and what about huang? tune in next time for metalhead cao cao...