"EAT MY SHOES BITCHES!!!".
"OWW what the?!".
"MY EYE!!!!!".
After disposing of the guards, he grabbed the one who was knocked out by his shoe. Stripping the guard, cao cao threw the uniform on himself. but before he left the two unconsious guards, he made it so the unclothed guard was laying with his ass in the air. While moving the other one into a position that would make them look well...fruity.
"god i rock...".
Finally deciding to make his escape, he went to wish his sleeping son luck on ruling wei before leaving.
"my son...i must have changed over these months into something you dont reconize anymore...im sorry for that. you have always been a strong man, a confident man. i want you to rule over my great empire while iam gone...im sorry for hitting your balls again".
Opening a window, cao cao ran over punched his son in the balls and jumped out the window...all with in five seconds. landing head first on a stone walkway, he stood up and brushed himself off before making a break for the horse stable.
"my god, those things are huge!!! they are almost dragging on the ground!!!".
Finding a stick, he poked a horse in the balls for about five minutes before deciding this horse would be awsome to run away with and poke when he got bored...thats a two in one deal!. hopping onto the horse, he got the horse to face the doorway.
"GO! UGLY HORSE WITH HUGE BALLS!!!".
The horse jerked the reigns and took off, cao cao proud about making the horse run forgot about the height of the doorway, A loud crash was heard when his head collided with the top of the doorway.
"DUMB HORSE!! im getting your balls cut off".
Cao cao's horse ran through the gate, because it would be too hard to exsplain why the gate was left open at three in the morning. As the horse made its way torwards a village, it tripped over its gigantic balls, causing cao cao and the horse to hit the ground.
"GOD DAMN!!! I SHOULD OF GOTTEN A CHICK HORSE!!".
Running up to the horse who was still in pain and shock, he smacked the horse on the face. Cao cao then pointed at the horses eye and poked it before letting out a rant filled with anger.
"listen here horse, im going it alone now. So you can take your balls and drag them back to where you came from".
Life on the road was sweet to cao cao, he can jump around to the metal in his head all day. He could also pull pranks on the pesants when they slept in their tiny little shacks that they call houses. Usually lighting said shacks on fire got the most laughs out of him, including when the pesants ran out on fire.
"man this is great! the fresh air, open roads! pesants with no teeth...wait thats not".
Before he could finish his last words, cao cao found himself in the middle of a town filled with rednecks. These werent the normal rednecks...they were pesants from china rednecks who ate potato's right out of the ground and used rocks to cook their food.
"howdy! ya'll needen dem directions?!".
"what are you? god man, where are your teeth!".
"i sold em...for booze money".
"...right, ok yeah gimme directions to the capitol of shu".
"i dunt know where dat is, but dat wei palace is just ova yonder!".
Cao cao looked over to where the redneck and slightly inbred man was pointing, surprisingly he was right. Cao cao had wandered for days around the wei palace and never took notice of it.
"huh? well ill be damned...i guess i should of walked in a straight line".
Turning back to the redneck, cao cao socked him in the jaw then kicked the man in the jewels when he was down.
"DONT EVER POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS TO ME DICKHOLE!".
making the rock-on signs with his hands, he screamed hatebreed while taking off into the sunset torwards the coastline. As he came closer to the coast, he noticed a small fishing vessel. Not taking his hands down from the rock on sign, he kicked the crap out of the fisherman and casted off torwards the unknown.
cao cao has made a break for it, where will his boat land? japan? alaska? new jersey? find out next time on metalhead cao cao.